the last time i checked i said ''I'' am not an advocate for a do or die relationship not you. Second off you are difficult to reason with because we all have different opinions and honestly don't have to reason/agree with eachother

This is a battle they both have to fight and yes the man has got more work to do. This is marriage it is all about team work and not one person sitting down and the other crossing legs and chilling. Men naturally suck in fighting battles anyways. Honestly the way they handle situations differs and sometimes we all feel like strangling them once in a while.

This woman if she has agreed to stay needs to work hand in hand with her husband and clear their matrimonial home off this shaity name.

If her hubby was here I would have heaps of things to tell him like communicating with his wife when his flesh wants to outrun his spirit. Allowing a single woman in the home sef is silly, but i comment my reserve for now.

Marriage is all about being a source of strength to the other party when that person is weak and so is God in man. Where the strength of a spouse fails is where the strength of the other spouse begins.

Yes he has to work real hard to gain back her trust but without her being by his side every step of the way and holding his hands, that man might fall because there is no emotional and physical support, that is what i call team work

Firstly, If I was difficult to reason with, you wouldn't even have been able to reply my last comment because it would have been incomprehensible. My last statement of " I don't know how this is so difficult to reason with" was a general comment because I had said all this before, before you even came along, and no one seemed to understand what I was saying.


Secondly , You've just repeated everything I said. My reason for even replying you in the first place is when you said she should eliminate every hazard that comes along. That is totally impossible and that was my original point. What you said about team work is on point too. Yes they need to work together but it was just irritating me how some idiots were saying where was she when it was happening in the first place. You need to see the thread on the man who caught his brother on top of his wife. No one said anything like that, not to even mention giving the wife more sex .

Lol eliminating hazards on her path is better understood when you read in btw the lines.

I am not reasoning with you and that was why I replied you in the first place. You are giving the lady the advise you should give to the man if he was here right now. This is a lady lets say for instance wants to stay in the marriage , my advice will be to work hand in hand with her hubby and get rid of as many home breakers as possible.  Now the fact that one does not reason with you does not mean your words are hard to comprehend.

Now if the man was here I would have told him to get his backside off and start doing everything humanly possible to make this woman trust him again, I personally will bless him with the insults of my mouth for being so dumb as to allow himself find a friend in a single lady instead of his wife. That is if I am not wrong one of your points here and that is why i said you aare giving her the advice one would give to the husband himself.

At those asking her what she was doing when her hubby was busy sucking bosoms,let me just call them silly retardssss

I think that's where you got me wrong. I was never actually giving her advice. I was talking about the advice OTHERS had given her and commenting on it. I can't give someone advice on something as painful as that, especially since I'm not an authority. My comments were actually aimed at the silly things that people had said to her.

Hope they get through it sha. Its not easy.

BTW @Jenny ; Has your husband cheated on you and what did you do ? (Sorry,I know its a personal question, I'm just curious)

lol iya basira we are not talking about my husband but the OP's hubby.

U are implying that your husband can never cheat, shey? Ok I get you lol.

like i said we are talking about the OP's hubby cheating on his wife and not jenny's husband. lol

I hope I am not being too dependent but I really need advice anonymously thats why I come here.

A friend visited us today. This friend is the one that the sister confessed to that she was in love with my husband and he told my husband but warned him not to tell me. And he knew about the affair when I wasn't around. He and my husband were about to leave to visit a friend of ours who is married and I asked to go along and my husband refused adamantly. I insisted and he agreed by the time I changed and came out, they said they weren't going again that the person isn't around anymore.

My husband said he would just go and drop his friend.

Ok lets get a few things straight yes homewreckers both male and female exsit.  But I hate how people are talking about chasing succulent bosom lady away shes not the problem here.  The worst part of this whole sorry arse story was

a) he was thinking about the lady while humping his wife
b) he doesnt deem it fit to give a humble apology
c) he still wants to remains friends with succulent breast so he can still suck when the desire arises.

This wife needs to give her husband the telling off of his life. Theres no soft approach he did wrong simple. So what he confessed if he continued sucking for 20years eventually the truth will out itself.

Nowadays infidelity seems part and parcel of marriages and its a damn shame.  

We shouldnt treat men like some m u s l i m s treat them in the sense that they need to be covered to stop them and the men who look at them from sinning.  

When you are married you are not blind but look dont touch!

your husband must be very maaaaaaddddd. What is he doing with all these people. I have told you if you wanna walk out feel free to,if you wanna stay you berra make that husband of your realize that you own that home and whatever you say must be at this point since you are the rational one here.

This one don pass don't be silly. Take over that home fully if you wanna stay and learn to make decisions on your way.

why didn't you walk this friend of his out of your house when he came visiting? You should have walked him out and warned him never to get involved in your family issues if he wants to live to see the next day

BTW your hubby is having an affair

Your husband is a spolit brat who should not have married since he is still acting like a Hot teenager!
The person you should be chasing away from your husband is this good for nothing friend.
Omo dont give yourself hypertension give him hypertension. Insult upon injury sit the baboon down and talk to him. If he decides not to listen thats his own headache he will regret it in the end.

My cousin was pulling crap like this when he first got married. At a point no one was seeing eye to eye with him. He would get hell at home and when he would call any of us to complain he would be left feeling like a total agabaya. Things did not change until he changed his friends. It seems your husband needs to change his friends. Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.
Also why did you want to follow them out. I personally do not subscribe to the idea that I should chase women away from my husband. It just will not happen. I would rather spend that energy on something else. If someone is going to cheat they will cheat. You just have to believe that your commitment and respect for each other is what will keep people at bay when temptation comes. I know you have no reason to even trust your husband right now but you cannot be following him around. Your husband obviously is not remorseful. I am beginning to think he only told you because the lady probably threatened to tell you. It is really dissappointing to hear that he is still trying to play games because I was rooting for him.
Your husband should be keeping his butt in the house and when he wants to leave he should ask you to come along. It is on him to show that you can trust him. Anything he gets now he brought on himself.

One day, marriage will be old fashioned.

The new fashion is to be gay, have mutiple children with multiple partners, marry on average 3 times and have at least two affairs whilst married.

hackney:

One day, marriage will be old fashioned.

queend:

I hope I am not being too dependent but I really need advice anonymously thats why I come here.

A friend visited us today. This friend is the one that the sister confessed to that she was in love with my husband and he told my husband but warned him not to tell me. And he knew about the affair when I wasn't around. He and my husband were about to leave to visit a friend of ours who is married and I asked to go along and my husband refused adamantly. I insisted and he agreed by the time I changed and came out, they said they weren't going again that the person isn't around anymore.

My husband said he would just go and drop his friend.

Seems the man is still bent on sowing wild oats.
Is this friend even married?
Insisting on going with them is not gonna work,how long wud u baby-sit and monitor him?

He should decide to live responsibly without you fussing over him.
I think its time you really confront him upfront and tell him exactly how u feel and what u think of his behavior,he just cant be treating u shabbily,disrespecting u and the vows u made.Now,i don't think u should be satisfied with his so called "coming out clean" . .  .its more of  informing you of the latest development so you won't be caught unawares,a wake up call; get used to it or walk 

Have u guys been having marital problems before now?Does he want out or wants to frustrate u out of the marriage?
The goalpost just shifted,he shifted it anyway.Play a spectator for sometime and see how it works.

hackney:

One day, marriage will be old fashioned.

What do u mean by that ? 

ifyalways:

Seems the man is still bent on sowing wild oats.
Is this friend even married?
Insisting on going with them is not gonna work,how long wud u baby-sit and monitor him?

He should decide to live responsibly without you fussing over him.
I think its time you really confront him upfront and tell him exactly how u feel and what u think of his behavior,he just cant be treating u shabbily,disrespecting u and the vows u made.Now,i don't think u should be satisfied with his so called "coming out clean" . .  .its more of  informing you of the latest development so you won't be caught unawares,a wake up call; get used to it or walk 

Have u guys been having marital problems before now?Does he want out or wants to frustrate u out of the marriage?
The goalpost just shifted,he shifted it anyway. Play a spectator for sometime and see how it works.

Now I actually agree with that but it seems like people are disposed to hate the friend. Let's not do that because whatever the friend tells him, the husband should definitely know better. I still think he only told her 1/3 of the story. She will only find out the truth when she gets to talk to that woman. That "Sister Mary" is actually the key to figuring out this whole thing.

And all she can do for now is wait and watch.

maybe the "friend" is the matchmaker.

in any case, alagbere ni gbogbo won.

if they want to go that route, then they should stop quoting bible for goodness sake.

if their lusts are stronger than their spirituality.

the husband sounds like a 419er sha.

..

Chaircover!!

Chaircover

This man is having an affair

obviously, but with who exactly?

that's the big question.

No way chairlover that's how a crazy fishwife acts. She needs to tell her husband that the next time his friend sets foot in the house she's going to disgrace him to the fullest because he's obviously aiding her husband to cheat.

Why go to the friends wife? Are you trying to destroy their home too? There's no point. You only spread hurt and pain haba

Give your husbands an ultimatum to stop all this rubbish and nonsense or you too will go and find yourself a boyfriend.

Seriously I don't see why the husband's friends should be blamed for all this. He did not 'force' the man on the woman . . . he made his choice. His friend did not make his marriage vows for him either. The friend is NOT the problem, the husband is . . . .

Until her husband decided to 'grow up' the problem with continue . . . if not with this friend, then definitely with another! She cannot keep chasing men out of her husband's house.

When a man know that his punishment for cheating . . . sorry sucking on b[i]oo[/i]bies . . . is a more caring and sexy wife, why should he show remorse or even stop for that matter

Men need to be taught that somethings are just plain unacceptable. To add insult to injury, he even had the guts to tell his wife! Not even in an 'I'm really sorry I failed you' way . . . . but in an 'I almost nailed that b[i]oo[/i]ty while you were away but got sacred halfway through' way!

SMH!

@ Poster

If I were you, I'd call my husband, sit him down and talk to him. He obviously doesn't realize the gravity of what he did and you need to let him know. You also need to let him know what the consequences of such a thing will be next time. This is not a time to PAMPER him . . . . it's not even the time to sulk. It's the time to be firm and strict . . . . . one look at your face and he will be scared of bringing his so called friend to your house again. Let's give the benefit of the doubt this time and stop at that.

If he does it again, come back and tell me let me tell you what to do finally!

Okija_juju:

Go naa!!

Just because ehn suck bobby u wan blow gasket, what of if to say ehn liberate her congo? You for kill am?!

Seriously, first of all, cut the guy some slack, its not like you caught him, he confessed to you without being under duress. That's gotta count for somethinng. Now ask yourself why would a man reach the pearly gates and not go in? That means he still has some concience left in him. I say sulk all day but you had better straighten poo out with him before you send him to another womans arm.

Remember that he had alreaady sold u a line of them being christian partners and would have exploited that line to fool around with her behinnd your back if he was most men but he didn't,

All men get tempted, many fall, some stagger, but very few would be bold enough to confess to their spouses about it except they are caught pants down,

Go back to your guy, no be ehn own bad pass,

Your respond is very bad. Dont you know it's better  for that man to keep it to himself than to open his mouth and confess to his wife raw.
It's all bad that happened that you'll tell your partner, because it can destroy your marriage.
If he really wanted the wife to know about that, there are other better way to present it to the wife. e.g (honey do you know that lady seduced me) not to the extend of telling her, he was even sucking her breast "Abba".
You too reason now, that was too raw. According to the wife, she said he didnt even feel anything after confession.

..

i hope its only sister breasted and not more!

nikkykay:

You attitude made him not to show remorse.Y r u sulking and for what? You shld be very happy d guy opened up to you and try to get over it.
Fine you hv every right to be angry but dont overdo it to d extent that he wuld n ot show remorse. You shldnt have slept in d parlour like you said, if i were you i wuld use silence to to tear him apart. Altho its not easy but you can still do dat and he wil be wondering what your next line of action wuld be.
Instead u acted like a really woman by leaving d bed to sleep in the sitting room. Were u thinking he wuld spend the whole nite begging you?
My sister just congratulate your star that d guy told u the truth dats even if  its d whole truth.
Do  u think wit ds your attitude he wuld ever want to tell u any of such again or if a woman is trying to woe him outside or in d office?
Ladies, lets always handle issues wit maturity. Whn he comes  in surprise him, with your romance, try to be unpredictable, give him his food and even feed and have hot and passionate s3x wit him. The guy go fear u eeeee and at the same time respect your maturity
Sorry i didnt mean to be harsh.

I believe you are not a lady for saying these. Do you think it's easy to receive such a message into your heart? Pls if we see the truth or fault let's handle it sincerely. so what did you want her to do after confessing before he'll show remorse. Was he not suppose to confess and plead with the wife to forgive him. now you're expecting the woman to fall down and leak his anus. Let me tell you sucking is worst, he'll now use the same mouth to go and kiss the wife. I believe he did it intentionally since he didnt show any remorse about it.


My sister just take heart, there's nothing you can do. must men are like that. That's why i dont trust any human, except God. Dont divorce him, I believe you may not really have the love / trust for him again, but try stay back and take care of your kids. Such is marital life, must marriages are like that.

@OP, Sometimes you have to fight for your marriage and when I say fight that is exactly what I mean. Make an example of Sister Big bosoms. Give her no peace. Like Chaircover said, go to her Pastor, put her name out there to be talked about. Get her phone number and give it to available men. Sign her up for some dating websites. She wants a man so badly help her find one, but let her know in no uncertain terms she cannot have yours.

As for your husband he told you he would do whatever is necessary to gain your trust back, so tell him. Write it down, put it on the bathroom mirror, tape it to the toilet, put it in a frame and put it next to every phone in the house. Tell him the consequences if he fails and mean it. You must follow through if he fails. Your husband does not respect you so you must show personal strength through all of this. Sometimes men
only understand strength so show him that.

As for your husbands friend, make it crystal clear he is no longer welcome in your home. Everyone should not be allowed in your home. We are all spirit bodies, be careful of the
spirits that come in your house. There are certain members of my husbands family who are not welcome in our home and they know why. Your home is your haven, guard it well.

I'm praying hard for you. You can do it, don't ever doubt yourself sis.

Why do women do this?
Its ok to blast breast lady but its not ok to chase away his friend who is aiding his sucking and probably more?

Why attack the other woman? She hasnt done anything wrong if you really think about it. Its the husbands duty to control himself and brush off any advances from succulent breast woman. The first persn who needs a serious telling off is the husband.

Its extra stress trying to make bosom womans life hell Karma will do that for her. Even if you see her a calm cool collected telling off to the highest order is needed then move on. Shes not worth the time or energy.

You "prophesy" my death while I'm giving birth and you confess to a mutual family friend that you are in love with my husband then yes, I will make your life hell. I'm newly married so I admit I'm still a newbie, but d.a.m.n. that not confronting the other woman poo. I'm going to make you wish you had never met my husband. This is my opinion and how I would handle it. Every woman must be true to herself. If you think confronting the other woman is a waste of time, then don't do it. Simple as that.

What kind of nonsense am I reading here? Why must the wife tag along with the husband and his friend? Does he tag along when she goes out with her girlfriends. People deserve their space in marriages. So he can't go out with his friend anymore, because he confessed to you he sucked bosoms. Please!!!! If you had gone with them, you would have messed up their fun because they won't be able to engage in guy talk.

You better not allow this irrational emotional women give you silly advice. Yes, it is well within your rights to forbid your husband from seeing the woman again. But that's it. I will let you know that if you continue to give your husband unnecessary stress, his resolve to cheat on you  will increase exponentially. Contrary to what all these emotional women think, ALL of their husbands will chop clean mouth if the right opportunity with the right woman presents itself.

And to those blaming his friend, please grow up. No man worth his salt will ever tell on his friend. Infact, it's an unforgivable breach of the man code. Any man that does that dose not deserve to be called a man.

My advice to you is that if your husband starts acting strange like going out every night etc, then you have to RESPECTFULLY call him to order. But if you attempt to suffocate him, and cause him unnecessary stress, he will most definitely cheat on you.

adamsrib:

You "prophesy" my death while I'm giving birth and you confess to a mutual family friend that you are in love with my husband then yes, I will make your life hell. I'm newly married so I admit I'm still a newbie, but d.a.m.n. that not confronting the other woman poo. I'm going to make you wish you had never met my husband. This is my opinion and how I would handle it. Every woman must be true to herself. If you think confronting the other woman is a waste of time, then don't do it. Simple as that.

Yep different strokes for different folks. But as far as I am concerned I woudnt go out of my way to confront her shes a non entity a waste of time and space. And the fear of not knowing what I can do will kill her slowly. But if our paths cross she will regret it because I was insult her she will not eat for three days but I will do it all with a smile on my face


Oh PLEASE Genius so you are telling me if your womans friend was aiding her to sleep around you would not say something?