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Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? - Romance (11) - Nairaland

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Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by mathong: 10:12am On Dec 17, 2020
eeewise:


this mindset makes we want to vomit.

marriage is supposed to be a partnership

not a union where a man takes care of a woman
he wont promise you to support her own family

really sad how entitled we are here
While dating a woman her actions will tell all not just words.

The man knows her better than outsider....

Not every Woman will want to voice out directly coz she knows her man also better than outsider ....

Some men will relax, relents and rely once woman promise to do this or that...
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Montaque(m): 10:12am On Dec 17, 2020
oyinella:
In my opinion, I feel like she answered that question correctly. It's your duty to provide for your family, but then again it's totally okay for your wife to help. What if for some reasons there are months you cant meet up to your shared financial responsibility and she has more money then, dont you think she will want to stand by this so called responsibility sharing? Let everything come from a place of understanding and mutual respect, I don't need any sharing formula to pick up bills around my house without being told, because I'm not pressured to

With what you wrote in the later part, do you still think she answered the question correctly?
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Ricoluv(m): 10:14am On Dec 17, 2020
My brother..i beg you in God's name, RUN!!!
Do not listen to those you spoke to..listen to your gut instincts..God put it there for a reason.
Gone are the days of our parents when it was economically viable for the man to be the sole provider..these days are not so anymore.

Please if you can dm me let's talk better bicos I don't want to see a fellow broda make such a lifelong mistake.

Biko, Ejoo, Dan Allah...leave that girl and move on.

3 Likes

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Seniormanfeyyie(m): 10:16am On Dec 17, 2020
My brother dont mind that thing you call wife to be. Maybe she will be using the money to finance her boyfriend or use the proceeds to buy land and build house for herself or her parents. Dont sponsor her in my humble opinion she doesnt love u. A woman who loves you will be ready to cooperate and support u anytime any day

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Dnight(m): 10:18am On Dec 17, 2020
Well that is the reality of most Nigerian home
They mostly offer nothing more than sex

2 Likes

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by futurism: 10:19am On Dec 17, 2020
Dliquidmetal:
I dont know about others o but even if I'm a billionaire tomorrow and I decide to get married,I would still wont like it if my wife dosent contribute anything into the union cause its gonna be one side and that mean say the babe no even really love me b4. I would advice you to sit her down and make her reason from your perspective the world has advanced pass those level wey na only man go dey stress himself even economy tough. Marriage is a lifetime something and what you know isnt okay with you now about your partner wouldn't change once you marry(which is a bondage to me anyway)
There is nothing to reason there... you even included what I omitted in mine. A lady who love you will sacrifice, no matter how little
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Bryan88(m): 10:19am On Dec 17, 2020
BABA THIS IS MARRIAGE AND NOT RELATIONSHIP AND THAT'S WHY THERE'S NO HOW A WORKING WIFE & A MOTHER WIL LET HER HUBBY OR CHILDREN SUFFER WHEN THINGS ARE ROUGH FOR THE HUBBY...I WANT YOU TO GET THAT INTO YOUR HEAD BRO AND THAT'S WHY ALL YOU SEEKED THEIR OPINIONS KEPT TELLIN YOU SAME THING.

1 Like

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Nobody: 10:20am On Dec 17, 2020
Alwaysachick:
Op look around you men with working class wives are loosing their jobs.

While men with housewives are building houses.

Save your self from this modern bondage young men are putting themselves in all in the name of finding a woman who they can share responsibility.

It is not your biblical duty to baby sit, don't lay a curse on your self. Your parents have told you, use your tongue to count your teeth.
In other words, Men with house wives don’t lose their jobs and men with working class wives don’t build houses.

This is dumbest thing I will read today and it’s not yet noon

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Nobody: 10:21am On Dec 17, 2020
Zzor:
Is he marrying her for gains, why have are you men becoming leeches smh
pls what should he marry her for?
pls I want to learn from your side.
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by mathong: 10:24am On Dec 17, 2020
Don't mind the small boy mindset, he will taking advice from the masses that know nothing about marriage.


He's still mummy and daddy boy!

Better go make money or can Ned tell Regina what will you contribute since I'm going to invest 1.5m in your business

Mediocre!
valencia25:


How much do you think a Keke Napep cost? 4 Brand new Keke, are you going to buy a Graphic design of it?

NEVER expect anything from your woman as a man, it slow down the pace of your responsibility.

You will get better when you don't feel entitled to what she brings, trust me... a good woman will empty her account for you to invest when it's time.

And most women will give you the same reply your gf gave to you until you need their help. They can empty their piggybank for you, don't hold any grudges and for you to have informed your parents and your inlaw about her response shows you're NOT SERIOUS yet o.

Small gist, you dn air her matter give her people.

1 Like

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by JordanMichael(m): 10:24am On Dec 17, 2020
Zzor:
I support her fully, it's a big turn off for a man to be asking hid wife to be such question,assist her if you can from your heart and I believe she's wise enough to know where and when to assist you as per responsibilities. I hate guys who throw such question,i have ignored a guy for this reason and till today he's still wondering what he did to me, don't give me the impression that your eyes are fixed on my money, its a big turn off
And your EYES fixed on his money is a big turn on? smh
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Onowu2020: 10:26am On Dec 17, 2020
In that case there is no need to invest in her business..let her sort it out but I know if you Ur smart enough u will be controlling her income.
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by bepositive11: 10:29am On Dec 17, 2020
Invest in yourself before investing in her. It seems that you both may not be compatible though. What else have you both disagreed on?
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by hottadiva(f): 10:29am On Dec 17, 2020
I don't agree with her mindset especially with the investment you're making. Yes it's a man's duty to provide for the home but how he chooses to do that differs. Investing in your wife or providing the right resources/environment for her personal growth so that she can support the family is one of such.
In our society today, couples should have shared responsibilities. She can take care of something in the home no matter how little.

Have another heart to heart with her and clearly state what you expect her to handle, outlining what you would also handle. If she still disagrees, please don't invest in the business. You would only resent her later and it would be the source of future quarrels. Let her figure out how to raise her own money for herself alone.

P.S - strikes me like you both are Igbo

1 Like

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by MadamExcellency: 10:33am On Dec 17, 2020
Zzor:
I support her fully, it's a big turn off for a man to be asking hid wife to be such question,assist her if you can from your heart and I believe she's wise enough to know where and when to assist you as per responsibilities. I hate guys who throw such question,i have ignored a guy for this reason and till today he's still wondering what he did to me, don't give me the impression that your eyes are fixed on my money, its a big turn off

You are too Uncivilised for a marriage.

What then becomes your part of the contract that will earn you respect and equality? Your ppussy is never an asset and taking care of the children is equal responsibility.

1 Like

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by oyinella(f): 10:34am On Dec 17, 2020
Montaque:


With what you wrote in the later part, do you still think she answered the question correctly?
Yes! It's the duty of the man to provide for his family, and the duty of the wife to help.. She said she was going to help didnt she? Then again, that's my opinion

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by DonCortino: 10:34am On Dec 17, 2020
Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

You are not matured enough for marriage. Better not go into it.
Allow the girl go find a more responsible man to marry.

1 Like

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Georgejeez: 10:36am On Dec 17, 2020
Topmaike007:
one keke is sold for around 650-700k depending on the types
Tvs is sold for 650-670k
Plagio is sold for 700-730k
Bajaj is sold for 670-700k

Honda ace motorcycle is sold for 250k
Honda ace with hand kick and alloy rim is sold for 270-280k

Bajaj Boxer is sold for 240-250k
Boxer with 5 gear and hand kick is sold for 370k

Daylong alloy rim sells around 280-300k

So mr know all even if op want to buy plagio keke which is the best,he will still buy 2

If he want to buy honda ace motorcycle which my peeps use where i reside,he will still buy 4 and collect change.So what is your point?

The keke importer has spoken .
Case closed .
Igbo kwenu!!
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Xkale1234(m): 10:38am On Dec 17, 2020
Zzor:
I support her fully, it's a big turn off for a man to be asking hid wife to be such question,assist her if you can from your heart and I believe she's wise enough to know where and when to assist you as per responsibilities. I hate guys who throw such question,i have ignored a guy for this reason and till today he's still wondering what he did to me, don't give me the impression that your eyes are fixed on my money, its a big turn off
shut da Bleep up werey, if u don't have something meaningful to say keep off and how dare u ignore the guy bcox you're senseless
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Nobody: 10:40am On Dec 17, 2020
Xkale1234:
shut da Bleep up werey, if u don't have something meaningful to say keep off and how dare u ignore the guy bcox you're senseless
yeye
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by sogud(m): 10:41am On Dec 17, 2020
Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks


Bro ...to me, u Bleep up by asking her such qtion..u re taking it to b a division of responsibility, whch is very wrong , u re investing on her so dat she cn b independent, asking u for money all d time for her needs will stress u n ur pocket, n nt u investing for her to take sum responsibilities at home......invest for her n allow her to help u willingly wit wat ever she earn n dnt mek it a compulsory tin....u re d head n d man, it is ur full responsibility to provide for d family, even though ur wife is working n earning more dan u, it is stil ur responsibility to provide for d family n tekia of her.. Neva u look at ur wife finance n expect division of responsibility at home...it is wrong, u married her n nt she marrying u...,.... invest for ur wife n let her b financially independent.

2 Likes

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by GIdiata(m): 10:42am On Dec 17, 2020
Zzor:
Is he marrying her for gains, why have are you men becoming leeches smh

But she's Marrying him for gains cool
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by 99thEnemy(m): 10:43am On Dec 17, 2020
Lordseyad:



But your eyes are fixed on his own money grin grin
Zzor will never borrow sense even just long enough to write one short reply.
.
Imagine calling someone who made it possible to have a source of income a leech.
.
Zzor I pity the fool wey go wife you this parasitic, materialistic, money monger grin grin grin
.
Your only contribution in the family will just be your Vagina grin

2 Likes

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Nobody: 10:46am On Dec 17, 2020
99thEnemy:

Zzor will never borrow sense even just long enough to write one short reply.
.
Imagine calling someone who made it possible to have a source of income a leech.
.
Zzor I pity the fool wey go wife you this parasitic, materialistic, money monger grin grin grin
.
Your only contribution in the family will just be your Vagina grin
Being a woman is enough contribution already, let the man take full charge of his responsibilities which is to PROVIDE

1 Like

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by luvyaself95(m): 10:48am On Dec 17, 2020
That girl isn't for you man.
These days man and woman take responsibility in the house even if the man is billionaire woman still need to contribute something it can't money always but another thing when necessary but this your girl sound like she is bringing nothing to the table...
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by VULCAN(m): 10:51am On Dec 17, 2020
There is no problem.

Invest that money by yourself and ensure the returns come to you.

She isn't a wife, she is a staff.

Therefore put her on a monthly salary for acting as your wife and the mother of your children.

DazAll

2 Likes

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by 99thEnemy(m): 10:54am On Dec 17, 2020
Zzor:
Being a woman is enough contribution already, let the man take full charge of his responsibilities which is to PROVIDE
Then be OK with being a fulltime house wife too.
.
Awon Feminists are now running away from equal rights abi?

You responsibilty now will be to cook, clean, wash, change diapers and watch Zee world.
.
I bet you prefer this. grin
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by MisterGrace: 10:55am On Dec 17, 2020
Shortyy:
This is why advice everyone fend for themselves. To avoid, after all I've done for you. Or what will you give me in return.

What do you mean by this?
That it is a taboo to support the family?

I don't understand.
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by osomegbe(m): 10:57am On Dec 17, 2020
Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks
Bros marry her before another guy claim her from you. At least she was bold to tell you that it is your responsibility and you shouldn't make it compulsory for her. That means she is praying for you that you will not lack not to be able to take care of your responsibilities. Let her be doing what she loves doing and don't push her away.
Some people will even be paying their wife monthly added with feeding money and the wife is still not faithful.
This life no balance.
If you no want her please give me her number. I am looking for that kind industrious wife material. Seriously.

1 Like

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Truthteller2020: 10:58am On Dec 17, 2020
Ishilove:
So what exactly is she bringing to the table in this marriage apart from her womb and vagina?

How anyone can have this kind of mentality in this day age boggles the mind. Her kind will nag you to depression if you happen to fall on hard times.

Op, count your teeth with your tongue.
Nothing.she is bringing nothing into the table.She is a very selfish girl.
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Olakunleyakub(m): 11:09am On Dec 17, 2020
I don't know you in person but instinct is always telling me that you will be a loyal, responsible and blessed wife to whoever that seems it fit to settle down with you based on some of ur comments av been seeing for a while here.

No doubt, we are not compatible in terms of religion, age and some little aspect of life but the truth is that I cherish your personality and pls keep it up. The right person that will be a coolness of your eyes will locate you soon.


To the op,
Pls never settle for less or self woman whou does not have any attributes of a sense of responsibility or else it will end in premium premium tears.

Truly, it is a men duty to take care of there family without expecting anything in return but a reasonable and responsible woman should understand that we needs to Help her husband once in a while if there is a need to.

I bid you best of luck in your marital journey!
Bola146:
No matter how little, a responsible wife must support her husband and home!!! No matter how rich or poor the husband is! So that the blessings will be coming back to both of them. The man might go broke, his wife should be there to raise him up.

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