I cant sleep.my baby daddy of 9yrs wants to pay my bride price.my dad insisted on three hundred and fifty thousand naira for everything on d marriage list includin bride price(without him seeing d list).my baby dad spoke to some human right activists(baby dad is yoruba while am igbo,hes physicaly chalenged,my dad dislike him for these reasons)they begged my dad to pls reduce the amount hes charging.dad agreed that he should come with anything he has and pay d rest later.my baby daddy has been able to raise one hundred and fifty thousand naira,he has even put up online weding invitation card on facebook and some other social media platform,our friends are already happy 4 us.he called my dad this night 2 tell him to give him a date when he can come and see him.my dad told him to tell me to call him,he told me and i called dad.dad said if my baby dad doesnt bring three hundred and fifty thousand,dat he should not come.`i wont acept part payment'were his words.i told him to remember dat my sister's own was very

Sorry to say dx but your dad dey greedy and unstable

Shey na him go marry you nii?

Sometimes I wonder why dx African tradition dey enslave so many people soteh dem forget say marriage na something wey dey benefit both man and woman

easy,her husband spent less than 200k.i got angry and reminded him that my mum's brothers wanted 2 delay my mum's burial cos he didnt pay complete durin his time.i dont stay wit my baby daddy cos we had a misunderstandin late last year so i had to move from abuja to imo state.my agreement wit my baby dad was dat he should come and see my dad so dat we can all move back to abuja.these are d isues disturbin me:1.wen i had d misunderstandin wit my baby dad,i took an old friend who wanted 2 marry me(hes also from imo state),my dad slashed everytin to d bearest minimum for him,we had so many misunderstandins dat he was always stranglin me and threatenin me wit knives and cutlas,he wil beg me later wen hes calm,i even ones reported him to d police.wen i decided to leave d relationship,my dad insisted i marry him,even after hearin our story.i left d relationship anyway.2.my dad told my baby daddy dat he should marry me for free(after my disagreement wit dad dis night)3.since have been alone wit my kids,dad has neva

called 2 greet me 2 ask about my kids,but he always insist dat i change d kids surname to his.4.dad didnt complete my mum's bride price,but he beat her up even wen she was havin stroke,he is 62yrs old.he says he has seen a wife he wants to marry.mum died 5yrs ago.5.i av beta job oportunities in abuja,should i move back to live wit my baby daddy?.6.can i do court marriage without baby daddy payin bride price? Cc Lalasticlala

Move back to Abuja. Your dad is toxic, self-centered and wants you to suffer.

doggedfighter:
Move back to Abuja. Your dad is toxic, self-centered and wants you to suffer.

Understand,dat i disapointed him by getin pregnant,but his punishment is getin me depresed

Baby daddy of 9years? You said "kids", meaning you have more than one child. Yet this baby daddy of 9years isn't able to raise 350k, but he' was able to foot hospital bills and raise kids. Sincerely speaking, I don't think 350k is too much. This is the solution. Go for a court marriage with your man. Then move in with him, make sure you do the court marriage before you move in. Baby daddy should invest the 150k, or hand it over to you to invest, don't play with the money, hopefully the money should be able to yield the 350 in one years time, then he can go back and settle your bride price.
Your baby daddy was wrong to post marriage invitation on FB, even when he didn't have complete money and the situation complicated.

Your dad has done badly, he discriminated a physically challenged son in-law, rather than be supportive. Your dad can't have a good relationship with your husband in future, he should not complain when your hubby treats him with disdain in the far future.

Bjprodint, do whatever u think will make u happy.

Bjprodint, do whatever u think will make u happy.

Ur life is so complicated.

LilMissFavvy:
Baby daddy of 9years? You said "kids", meaning you have more than one child. Yet this baby daddy of 9years isn't able to raise 350k, but he' was able to foot hospital bills and raise kids. Sincerely speaking, I don't think 350k is too much. This is the solution. Go for a court marriage with your man. Then move in with him, make sure you do the court marriage before you move in. Baby daddy should invest the 150k, or hand it over to you to invest, don't play with the money, hopefully the money should be able to yield the 350 in one years time, then he can go back and settle your bride price.
Your baby daddy was wrong to post marriage invitation on FB, even when he didn't have complete money and the situation complicated.

Your dad has done badly, he discriminated a physically challenged son in-law, rather than be supportive. Your dad can't have a good relationship with your husband in future, he should not complain when your hubby treats him with disdain in the far future.

you don’t think 350k is too much? ok oooo

Newoldme:
Understand,dat i disapointed him by getin pregnant,but his punishment is getin me depresed

Is your baby daddy not the same.one that went to Facebook to say he wants a wife from.his tribe, which you are certainly not?

The fact is that your family of origin is toxic and going by the shenanigans your baby daddy displays here on Nairaland, it is like going from.frying pan to fire, you are not better off with him because you know deep dowm.you are "marrying yourself" because he even came here on Nairaland to raise funds for your bride price, is that not even a waving red flag?

You know by the tradition of where you come from, those kids belongs to your father until your baby daddy comes with his family to do the required traditional rites of marrying you.

You have been advised severally in different threads but it seens you are so fixated on wanting to continue with the baby daddy that has not made you grow as a person.

It is your life, your decision.

If he is wise,he'd notice you need the money more to set up yourself if Botrix pays.I hope he'll do that cos no be clear eye you take dey return to Botrix.

Bjprodint,I hope you have thought it over well I mean this going back.

Goodluck on your matter.

Hmmmm

@newoldme, is it with this same man



Dear botrix,i neva cheated while with u,u stole ownership of my house 4rm me,i registered ur company with my money,u av neva paid ur kids school fees 4 ones even when d money was there,i av bought u 2 laptops from my poor salary,i have carried ur feaces and urine 4 9 yrs,i have assisted u to move around all these years,u called me a useles woman in public in front of ur female friend,i became a school drop out because of u,i was disowned by my family all these years because of u,i turned 2 a beggar because of u.u kicked me out of ur house while pregnant with our daughter,i hid d pregnancy 4rm my family until 7months no antenantal ,no medicals,my family threw me out wen they found out,i slept outside without roof until my friends mum took me in,u have never apologised 4 dat incident.u deceived and got me pregnant again wen i just lost my mum,u neva attended my mum's burial,u hit me while pregnant with our daughter.d kids became violent,u even av gusts to threaten my sister dat she should produce me...

I need my mother right now.these few coments have given me idea on what to do.thank u family.

No wonder he created that thread asking people to contribute to the bride price. He has tried with the money he has gathered; your Dad shouldn't ask him to give that 350k by force.

It's like your dad prefers you being a baby mama to being a married woman.

Problem no dy finished

Decide your future, dear.


Your dad is interested in the money and prestige, not your happiness.


Igbo men...

tabithababy:
Hmmmm

@newoldme, is it with this same man



Dear botrix,i neva cheated while with u,u stole ownership of my house 4rm me,i registered ur company with my money,u av neva paid ur kids school fees 4 ones even when d money was there,i av bought u 2 laptops from my poor salary,i have carried ur feaces and urine 4 9 yrs,i have assisted u to move around all these years,u called me a useles woman in public in front of ur female friend,i became a school drop out because of u,i was disowned by my family all these years because of u,i turned 2 a beggar because of u.u kicked me out of ur house while pregnant with our daughter,i hid d pregnancy 4rm my family until 7months no antenantal ,no medicals,my family threw me out wen they found out,i slept outside without roof until my friends mum took me in,u have never apologised 4 dat incident.u deceived and got me pregnant again wen i just lost my mum,u neva attended my mum's burial,u hit me while pregnant with our daughter.d kids became violent,u even av gusts to threaten my sister dat she should produce me...

OP, if you wrote this about your baby daddy, please do not marry him.
He will be more trouble for you than a plus.
What you need right now is how to build a career or business to look after yourself. Can friends or relatives help you with that?
Man shouldn't be

Nuelito:
Sorry to say dx but your dad dey greedy and unstable

Shey na him go marry you nii?

Sometimes I wonder why dx African tradition dey enslave so many people soteh dem forget say marriage na something wey dey benefit both man and woman

The truth is crystal clear.
The dad hates her baby daddy either because he's a Yoruba or disabled or for being both.

WAHALA FOR WHO MARRIED WOMEN FROM THE EAST

Foodqueen:
Bjprodint, do whatever u think will make u happy.

Ur life is so complicated.

Oversabi madam, why did you call out her old moniker, she created a new moniker for a reason you should have respected that decision.

Newoldme:
I cant sleep.my baby daddy of 9yrs wants to pay my bride price.my dad insisted on three hundred and fifty thousand naira for everything on d marriage list includin bride price(without him seeing d list).my baby dad spoke to some human right activists(baby dad is yoruba while am igbo,hes physicaly chalenged,my dad dislike him for these reasons)they begged my dad to pls reduce the amount hes charging.dad agreed that he should come with anything he has and pay d rest later.my baby daddy has been able to raise one hundred and fifty thousand naira,he has even put up online weding invitation card on facebook and some other social media platform,our friends are already happy 4 us.he called my dad this night 2 tell him to give him a date when he can come and see him.my dad told him to tell me to call him,he told me and i called dad.dad said if my baby dad doesnt bring three hundred and fifty thousand,dat he should not come.`i wont acept part payment'were his words.i told him to remember dat my sister's own was very

Hi.

Is your other moniker by any chance bjprodint?

Just asking.

Resurgent2016:


Oversabi madam, why did you call out her old moniker, she created a new moniker for a reason you should have respected that decision.

Oops just mentioned her old moniker before seeing this.

Reading this story and the one you posted before, I’m wondering how people manage all these stress without running mad. Small thing that will happen to me, I’ll start behaving erratically. You guys are trying!

ediko5:


The truth is crystal clear.
The dad hates her baby daddy either because he's a Yoruba or disabled or for being both.

The baby daddy himself has a reputation here on Nairaland!

Bjbrodint

@Resurgent2016, if you look at OP/Newoldme's diary, she says on there that she's "Bjprodint". I'm sure @Foodqueen found out from there. Also, there's nothing wrong with FQ referencing OP's other monicker, as it helps with context.

Mindlog:


The baby daddy himself has a reputation here on Nairaland!

Care to drag him here?

ediko5:


Care to drag him here?

Why she go drag am? They are regulars with their numerous issues and at this point, it is advisable to ignore them.