Blackdisciple:
hmmm...
You have given her half of your salary bro , you try ooo.

Bros even if you are in rented house she will still ask for more like Oliver Twist.And it would have been worst with you.

She was never your wife just that pregnancy came between both of you.

I knw even as you give her 25k monthly you are still footing other things at home. So reduce the money back to 20k monthly as it was before because even if you transfer all the salary to her account she will still complain. Remember also the future of the kids too and be saving for them monthly.

Hassanmaye:
Lol that's the only thing you can say

ABANGWABOI:


Thanks Bro... Am blushing @compliments �


I read your comments thrice..
Gosh, any man that marries you is a lucky Chap..
All female contributors here were just saying balderdash without offering a balanced advice without sentiments and emotions but your contribution stood out..
other contributors here including the males were shouting that he should cut off the 10k he sends to his mom, but you never said so.. (I read that line thrice to be sure of it) it shows how considerate you are, and you brought up an idea of him sitting his ass down and planning how to diligently spend the remaining 45k on the family, even suggesting the maize, dawa options..
Everything you said was just on point..
can't start listing them all..
Rounding it up by telling him to ignore her Rants and he should remain positive..
I am totally overwhelmed, I doff my hats to your sensible contribution..
OP, this is the best advice you could get here.. Not the one been dished out by some confused boys and some bitter Feminist wannabes..

Jossy, Your kind is so Rare. ..
#Respect.

Mariangeles:


If you and your wife can find a way to be at peace with each other, and be of one mind, believe me, everything will be alright.
Even the little income will be manageable.

You might think money is the main problem, but it's not. It's just a part of it.
You both need to come together in peace, understanding and agreement, that way, the situation becomes easier to bear.

If you both continue the way you're going, even if you begin to earn up to #300-400k, it'll still seem to not be enough. There will always be something to fight about.
Be at peace with yourself, your wife, your children, and the situation, then it will become easier for you to work hard and earn more for your family.
Life is too short to live in regrets.
You're blessed with 3 beautiful babies, but you're blinded to see it. Be grateful.
It's not easy, yes, but hey! Life is a struggle for everyone, one way or another.

brownemmanuel43:
Op must be a Yoruba man

Prospertochu:


My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k

Prospertochu:

she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy.

Prospertochu:

I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first,

Prospertochu:

all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know it's too late now to change the past but what should I do?

Kriss216:
A woman you're giving almost 50% of your monthly income and she's still not satisfied is not the right one for you, bro.



Channel your energy, time, finances on your kids. That woman will never give you happiness.




What do you expect the OP to do? Join banditry? Or start stealing?

A sensible woman should have a job or a business before getting married so as to help her family. What are her contributions to the family aside nagging and quarrelling with the husband daily?

Toks2008:


Why can't she find something to do at least to assist the family?

I don't understand.

cococandy:


some things just blow my mind honestly. This internet gives them free hand to come and throw in nonsense contributions devoid of experience and empathy.

One new born is capable of monumental stress on the whole family. Gives mom sleepless upon sleepless nights. I can’t imagine 3 at once. With limited resources.

Then OP even has the nerve to complain of being denied sex. Who has sexual urges when they have those mountain of problems to solve? He probably won’t even agree to wear protection to avoid more children coming into that mix. But all he has are complaints .
I bet that poor woman is stressed out of her goddam mind.

Kriss216:
A woman you're giving almost 50% of your monthly income and she's still not satisfied is not the right one for you, bro.



Channel your energy, time, finances on your kids. That woman will never give you happiness.




What do you expect the OP to do? Join banditry? Or start stealing?

A sensible woman should have a job or a business before getting married so as to help her family. What are her contributions to the family aside nagging and quarrelling with the husband daily?

Johnnyplus01k:
ethnic bigot, if you don't have anything in your dry skull to contribute then keep quiet

thelish:


Hmmmmmm
Thank God u said "girl"
Not a woman with triplet and extra two mouth to Carter for..

Toks2008:


Why can't she find something to do at least to assist the family?

I don't understand.

Prospertochu:
I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage. My plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stays in her father's house, her mother was fine with it as long as I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children.

I pleaded with her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father's family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister.

My mother in law refused saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to save enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me.

My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complaining about the money not being enough. I refused giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know it's too late now to change the past but what should I do?

erico2k2:

Prayer without work is useless abeg,The man level is N50k the woman should learn to accept this fact and face reality, they are poor, at least she knows this b4 marriage. There are gatemen and drivers who earn N40k n are happily married, we nor dey hear pem

shashaperry:


Find something to do alongside the three toddlers she's nursing? Is She a robot?

Toks2008:


This is why ladies are advised to get something doing, a hand job or business so that they won't become a total liability

For people quoting me and writing what comes to their heads please go and read my comments again.

You people should save me the talks of triplets not allowing her do any other thing.

If there was an existing business or job before now I'm sure this guy won't be wailing.

The Nigeria system is bad enough, please ladies, get something doing before ever bringing a child into this world whether as a married lady or single woman.

Toks2008:


Im sure you read where i wrote older siblings that were also children. What is older in a 4 and 2 year olds combined with twins. Are we not talking about 4kids here?

Sometimes Some women just want to hang on to that as an excuse. There is a type of business for every situation so lets be reasonable here. Even if the guy makes 200k a month, it will still be a struggle to raise triplets with such a salary howbeit 55k.

The guy should think outside the box and see how he can establish the woman to make side money on her own.

IjeBos:


Stop this stuff. Some of you guys here sound like Neanderthals. Have you ever taken care of a child, let alone 3? There is no business a woman who has new born triplets should be doing, unless she has some type of help and even then that wouldn't be immediately. And if you are the type of man to expect that, that is a flaw in your character and a tacit acknowledgement that you are unable to stand up to your responsibility at that moment. Be better than this.

Toks2008:


But for fools all words should be written in proverbs goes a saying.

Please get the guy's contact and make a transfer of good sum Into his account to assist him.

purples25:


Lol, the only way you would stop running your opinions is if you give birth to not one but three, see how that feels first. Then have kids suck from your breast and wail to be comforted day and night and midnight. Then bathe and clothe and change them every few hours.

But because you stand gidigba with balls, no weakness in your body, you never thought of how it is for the woman. With the maxi pad on with she will be bleeding after birth, and the kids who don't understand anything but she must take care of them whether she is sick, weak or strong, you want her to go out and work.

My mother was working after the birth of our last born. Her customers couldn't care less. She nearly DIED due to the stress.

You are only thinking of your gender, you are INSENSITIVE!

Even if she has work, she should continue it after birth?! Even sane countries realize and give women maternity leave! Why are you wicked and your heart is like stone! Is it a woman's fault that you were born a man? Did she punish him because she had to birth children? Why are you trying to punish women because your role is to go out and work?! Why are you bitter because it is your work as a man!!!

Toks2008:


I know you are a lady and most ladies are not apt when it comes to discussing matters such as this cos they never use logic but emotions.

I think you should try to calm down to raging hormones and think like a reasonable fellow.

You are are just spewing anything that comes into your heads without considering the vivid situation.

I suggested him opening a food stuff business in a shop if only he can get a loan and all you people can opine is trashy condemnations.

The only way any one countering me will make sense is to send the guy money or just Shut up.

See your lame post up there which is typical of a naija lady with no sound intellect.

When you make posts on a social forum, give your points without sounding like a local uneducated pepper seller and you will make more sense.

RedSquid:



No listen to pittance. Any adult that has unrestrained sex should be ready for its consequences.

Jossyfine:
Op you are not stingy but all you and your wife needs to do is proper planning. You have to stop eating out. Once you've gotten ur salary, sit down with ur wife and draw a plan. Eg:
After removing your Mum's 10k,ur 5k savings. Then the 40k should be planned on very well.
Nice
What kind of food are you feeding ur triplets? You
can buy raw maize (joro and dawa) soak and grind to process pap.
But she needs to buy peak powder milk (peak 123)about 3 tins, this should last a month.

If your kids are up to 6 months, you can introduce semi solid food like beans, draw soup and light swallow garnished with fish.
If your wife is not working, then she has to try and prepare breakfast for you to eat before leaving for work,or better still she can be packing lunch for you to stop you from spending on food in ur work place. Then when you get home in the evening, you eat dinner, this will help a lot in salvaging your finances.

She can locate the nearest bush market in your area to be buying food stuff you guys will be needing in a month.

Please, you can manage and increase her monthly upkeep to 30k,then persuade her to be making breakfast for you.

And lastly, learn to ignore her ranting and nagging while you encourage her to get something doing if your kids have come of age. you will scale through this phase soon.

Stay positive

Toks2008:


On the contrary I believe this can happen to anybody and what the guy needs now is not a pat on the head or castigations but a way forward.

I have seen numerous comments of people blaming and shaming but hardly did anyone give a way out.

My suggestion for him to open a small food stuff business or any business with little stress is because I know it is possible even if she won't be actively involved at the moment but it is a way of easing the financial stress on the man and trust me, food stuff business is lucrative to an extent.

But because we have bunch of lazy ladies who are quick to use anything as an excuse, they would rather want the guy to go jump into the lagoon out of frustration or die of High BP.

I implore nairalanders to also render any financial help they can to alleviate the pressure on this young man.

Nobody plans for triplets and once it happens, we must find a way to move ahead.

bigjackass:
nonsense. That half salary you talking about is just 25k and you expect a nursing mother to keep a family of five with that amount. Plus pampers and baby food. I'm sure you are still a young unmarried guy hence your way of thinking. Even telling him to reduce it to 20k again. He's giving his wife 25k for 5 people and using 20k personally. For what? probably drinking beer and carrying olosho. You should advise him to find a way to increase his income to take care of his family not this shit.