So I have been dating my girlfriend Silvia for a while now, we both decided I should meet her parents, we agreed on this because she is currently pregnant.

We set the day to go and on that day we boarded a bus at YOUNG SHALL GROW motors , our destination is Ilorin ,we settled inside as we prepare to enjoy the trip to Ilorin from lagos

Suddenly I remembered My parents always told me that whenever I am going somewhere, whatever signs I see on the way will determine whether the place will be favourable or not ,I silently whisper a prayer that this journey should beget good signs ..

Halfway there my girlfriend turned to me and says she has a confession,. What could that be I asked , she told me her name is not Silvia but SILiFA so I shouldn't be surprised if her parents call her SILiFA instead of Silvia , "wow " I replied although I felt betrayed that she lied but then because of my love for her I overlooked it .


So what else have you lied to me about I asked her, she looked at me with a puppy face and said ," err my dad is a Native doctor and not a retired banker".. she quickly added that she's really sorry and she assured me that he's a nice man and she lied to me because she doesn't want to lose me . .

When I heard this I was both angry and surprised ,but I decided to calm because I thought maybe she's just playing mind games with me , I smiled and told her " Babe no matter what I will always love you ,I'm marrying you and not your parents".. I told her to rest and we would continue our discussion later .

She rested her head on my shoulder and slept off,while I begin to ponder what trouble might be awaiting me at Ilorin , What if she was saying the truth ?. What if I get there and the man use me as sacrifice for the gods or what if ....

My thoughts were cut short when the driver shouted ,the shout was so loud that everyone sleeping woke up ,he was on the phone with someone and the person gave him the news that his wife just died while she was giving birth ..

He was sad and we all tried to console him ,the man was already crying , but he told us thank you and assured us he is fine

Everyone returned to thier calmness until the driver started saying " My people nothing in this life ,I'm tired I just want to die "...

"Haaaaaaaaaaaa "we all screamed ,everybody started begging not to die and that he should stop saying those words and have hope .

"You people don't understand,I have nothing to live for ,pls let. Me die "... There was huge commotion in the bus and everyone was begging and advising him ,some were even offering him job and money to start a new life .

The driver told us thank you once again and kept on driving ,he then inserted a disc in the radio and " Jesus take the wheel " by carrie underwood was playing, He increased the volume and was singing along to the lyrics ,the elderly man beside him angrily switched the music off and told him to play another song Because Jesus cannot drive

" My son no let these oyinbo people decieve you ,jesus no sabi drive o "".. ,Next thing the bus started swaying left and right In full speed ,we realized that the driver hand is no longer on the wheels but on his head "his eyes was filled with tears and he keep singing jesus take the wheel "...

The man in the far back jumped to the front and was trying to keep the steering still while some are cursing the driver others were begging him to please stop driving.

He later came back to his senses , he parked the bus and stopped , he got down and was apologizing, he gave the bus key to an elderly man saying he needs time to rest and that someone else should take over the driving for now.

Then everyone started wondering who would drive us, the bus was filled with elderly men and women and they all claimed they could not drive suddenly my girlfriend shouted " My boyfriend can drive he is a good driver "... Omo I weak , I remembered I once brag to her that I can drive but the truth is that the only time I ever drove a car was in my dream and even there sef I still get accident.

Immediately she said that the elderly man gave me the key saying am the youngest and that I look responsible enough .

I should have said No immediately but my girlfriend was happy and everyone was clapping for me. so out of shame I collected the key



Typing...

ok na.. in dj khaleds voice *another one*

don't fvckin keep up waiting like u always do OG

Your girlfriend is showing you crazy

So talented

This is so funny. I enjoyed reading this.

Stuff has good dose of humour.


He never completed a story though

shoooooooooooooooots

issokay



if u did not complete this story
ah
u want to see madness
Ofe ri werey

.

RealGboy:
So I have been dating my girlfriend Silvia for a while now, we both decided I should meet her parents, we agreed on this because she is currently pregnant.

We set the day to go and on that day we boarded a bus at YOUNG SHALL GROW motors , our destination is Ilorin ,we settled inside as we prepare to enjoy the trip to Ilorin from lagos

Suddenly I remembered My parents always told me that whenever I am going somewhere, whatever signs I see on the way will determine whether the place will be favourable or not ,I silently whisper a prayer that this journey should beget good signs ..

Halfway there my girlfriend turned to me and says she has a confession,. What could that be I asked , she told her name is not Silvia but SILiFA so I shouldn't be surprised if her parents call her SILiFA instead of Silvia , "wow " I replied although I felt betrayed that she lied but then because of my love for her I overlooked it .


So what else have you lied to me about I asked her, she looked at me with a puppy face and said ," err my dad is a Native doctor and not a retired banker".. she quickly added that she's really sorry and she assured me that he's a nice man and she lied to me because she doesn't want to lose me . .

When I heard this I was both angry and shocked ,but I decided to calm because I thought maybe she's just playing mind games with me , I smiled and told her " Babe no matter what I will always love you ,I'm marrying you and not your parents".. I told her to rest and we would continue our discussion later .

She rested her head on my shoulder and slept off,while I begin to ponder what trouble might be awaiting me at Ilorin , What if she was saying the truth ?. What if I get there and the man use me as sacrifice for the gods or what if ....

My thoughts were cut short when the driver shouted ,the shout was so loud that everyone sleeping woke up ,he was on the phone with someone and the person gave him the news that his wife just died during childbirth..

He was sad and we all tried to console him ,the man was already crying , he told us thank you and we all calm back until he started saying " My people nothing in this life ,I'm tired I just want to die "...

"Haaaaaaaaaaaa "we all screamed ,everybody started begging not to die and that he should stop saying those words and have hope .

"You people don't understand,I have nothing to live for ,pls let. Me die "... There was huge commotion in the bus and everyone was begging and advising him ,some were even offering him job and money to start a new life .

The driver told us thank you once again and inserted a disc in the radio and " Jesus take the wheel " by carrie underwood was playing and he was singing along to the lyrics ,the elderly man beside him switched the music off and told him to play another song Because Jesus cannot drive

" My son no let these oyinbo people decieve you ,jesus no sabi drive o "".. ,Next thing the bus started swaying left and right In full speed ,we realized that the driver hand is no longer on the wheels but on his head "his eyes was filled with tears and he keep singing jesus take the wheel "...

The man in the far back jumped to the front and was trying to keep the steering still while some are cursing the driver others were begging him to please stop driving.

He later came back to his senses , he parked the bus and stopped , he got down and was apologizing, he gave the bus key to an elderly man saying he needs time to rest and that someone else should take over the driving for now.

Then everyone started wondering who would drive us, the bus was filled with elderly men and women and they all claimed they could not drive suddenly my girlfriend shouted " My boyfriend can drive he is a good driver "... Omo I weak , I remembered I once brag to her that I can drive but the truth is that the only time I ever drove a car was in my dream and even there sef I still get accident.

Immediately she said that the elderly man gave me the key saying am the youngest and that I look responsible enough .

I should have said No immediately but my girlfriend was happy and everyone was clapping for me. so out of shame I collected the key



Typing...

So funny.
Even though we know this isn't a true story.

Good stuff man.

Quote me nigga

so what happened nxt

Hahaha.

RealGboy:
So I have been dating my girlfriend Silvia for a while now, we both decided I should meet her parents, we agreed on this because she is currently pregnant.

We set the day to go and on that day we boarded a bus at YOUNG SHALL GROW motors , our destination is Ilorin ,we settled inside as we prepare to enjoy the trip to Ilorin from lagos

Suddenly I remembered My parents always told me that whenever I am going somewhere, whatever signs I see on the way will determine whether the place will be favourable or not ,I silently whisper a prayer that this journey should beget good signs ..

Halfway there my girlfriend turned to me and says she has a confession,. What could that be I asked , she told me her name is not Silvia but SILiFA so I shouldn't be surprised if her parents call her SILiFA instead of Silvia , "wow " I replied although I felt betrayed that she lied but then because of my love for her I overlooked it .


So what else have you lied to me about I asked her, she looked at me with a puppy face and said ," err my dad is a Native doctor and not a retired banker".. she quickly added that she's really sorry and she assured me that he's a nice man and she lied to me because she doesn't want to lose me . .

When I heard this I was both angry and surprised ,but I decided to calm because I thought maybe she's just playing mind games with me , I smiled and told her " Babe no matter what I will always love you ,I'm marrying you and not your parents".. I told her to rest and we would continue our discussion later .

She rested her head on my shoulder and slept off,while I begin to ponder what trouble might be awaiting me at Ilorin , What if she was saying the truth ?. What if I get there and the man use me as sacrifice for the gods or what if ....

My thoughts were cut short when the driver shouted ,the shout was so loud that everyone sleeping woke up ,he was on the phone with someone and the person gave him the news that his wife just died while she was giving birth ..

He was sad and we all tried to console him ,the man was already crying , but he told us thank you and assured us he is fine

Everyone returned to thier calmness until the driver started saying " My people nothing in this life ,I'm tired I just want to die "...

"Haaaaaaaaaaaa "we all screamed ,everybody started begging not to die and that he should stop saying those words and have hope .

"You people don't understand,I have nothing to live for ,pls let. Me die "... There was huge commotion in the bus and everyone was begging and advising him ,some were even offering him job and money to start a new life .

The driver told us thank you once again and kept on driving ,he then inserted a disc in the radio and " Jesus take the wheel " by carrie underwood was playing, He increased the volume and was singing along to the lyrics ,the elderly man beside him angrily switched the music off and told him to play another song Because Jesus cannot drive

" My son no let these oyinbo people decieve you ,jesus no sabi drive o "".. ,Next thing the bus started swaying left and right In full speed ,we realized that the driver hand is no longer on the wheels but on his head "his eyes was filled with tears and he keep singing jesus take the wheel "...

The man in the far back jumped to the front and was trying to keep the steering still while some are cursing the driver others were begging him to please stop driving.

He later came back to his senses , he parked the bus and stopped , he got down and was apologizing, he gave the bus key to an elderly man saying he needs time to rest and that someone else should take over the driving for now.

Then everyone started wondering who would drive us, the bus was filled with elderly men and women and they all claimed they could not drive suddenly my girlfriend shouted " My boyfriend can drive he is a good driver "... Omo I weak , I remembered I once brag to her that I can drive but the truth is that the only time I ever drove a car was in my dream and even there sef I still get accident.

Immediately she said that the elderly man gave me the key saying am the youngest and that I look responsible enough .

I should have said No immediately but my girlfriend was happy and everyone was clapping for me. so out of shame I collected the key



Typing...

was bored until I read this

Nice story as always, but you're good at not completing a story.

Make sure you complete this one

following

Lucky for me immediately I was handed the keys, another bus from the same company parked near us , the driver got down to ask what happened? When we told him he apologized on behalf of his colleague .


He turned to me and appreciated my efforts in trying to help but assured me that he has someone else who would help us drive .
The new driver was introduced to us and we settled back in the bus to continue the journey, while in the bus i kept wondering to myself " with all these signs my eyes have seen hope ilorin will be good ".. i shook my head and whispered another silent prayer .before i slept off.


When we reached the final bus stop my girlfriend tapped me and I woke up , wow we are in Ilorin already , everyone was happy to arrive safely ,me and my babe alighted we then booked another private cab to her parents house .


On getting there I noticed the area was very far from town and a bit local , we got down from the cab I paid the driver ,pack our box and followed my babe while she lead the way to a bungalow,

On reaching the compound ,she told me to wait outside while she quickly inform her parents of our arrival..

While I waited I saw some people gather around a goat , and every one was feeling sad I walked up to the scene and I heard someone saying .. " Heya and the guy is an handsome boy o "..

Hearing this I was a bit confused because I wasn't seeing any boy but a goat . so I asked a young guy among the crowd "my guy sorry o but pls what happened? "

The young man turned to me and said " brother this goat na Human being before o , na Baba Awojare turn am to goat .

I was shocked and couldn't believe my ears .. " What did he do? . I asked the guy ....

." He gave one of the baba daughter belle and when the man found out he turned him to a goat , as he dey so them go chop am this evening ".. the guy replied.

I wanted to ask who is Baba Awojare but immediately my girlfriend showed up with an elderly man beside her , every one ran away including the young man .


I was scared but I summoned courage and walked up to them , she smiled and said Baby meet my dad he's popularly called Baba awojare , hearing this I didn't know whether to start crying or runaway

, I fake a smile and bow my head in pain, the man looked at me intensely before saying . "O ma baje gaan o. (Which means you're so disrespectful)..

. Shey bi won shey ki yan ni ilu niyen (is that how they greet In your village).

I immediately prostrated and begged that am sorry, my girlfriend also knelt down and begged on my behalf. The man shook his head and told us to stand up , he then asked me " Do u like pounded yam and goatmeat ?..".
I was shocked at such ridiculous straight forward question but I saw my girlfriend giving me a sign to say yes , so I replied " Yes sir I like the food sir _..

He then gave an order to a young man to kill a goat for us ,

Without saying another word ,he left me and went back inside ,my girlfriend told me to just act normal and that he's only testing me.

I told her I was beginning to feel uneasy but she kept saying I should not worry., she told me to wait a while while she quickly arrange our room . She gave .me a stool to sit .

While I was waiting outside again and wondering if I will even last the night here not to talk of the 7 days I planned to spend I suddenly heard someone calling me ,I looked around and saw no one ,the person called again and I couldn't believe my eyes, a goat was talking to me .

" Guy abeg show face na beg I dey beg I no be goat ar beg "...

Goat speaking to me i thought I must be imagining things in my head but the goat spoke again

" Guy abeg u fit give me your phone make I make calls ,I no wan die like this my guy ".

I didn't know whether to scream or run ,then I still was not sure the goat was talking ,the goat replied again

" Guy abeg do fast now before this man show up kill me abeg ,give me phone make I call my people, na God I take beg you "...


As if that was not enough the chicken beside the goat replied.

" Guy do fast fast if you wan help us las las u sef go still join us "..

I screamed loud ..













Typing ....

Guy I no dey read story for nairaland but dis your story dey make me laugh like mumu for parlour. Abeg continue

following.
Meanwhile get a quick and affordable loan with no collateral requirements. check my signature for more details.

realgboy keep updating bro... you de man

Extension greetings to them on my behalf

Omo!! Like dis I just kant

I read this out to my whole family....Oga complete this story pls before u turn to goat, u just made our evening.

very funny..abeg keep updating us

Haha

Please,I take God dey beg, complete am.

What a funny post!

Lool If this guy no finish this story ehhn.. na devil

Myer:


So funny.
Even though we know this isn't a true story.

Good stuff man.

If you ever believe any of his story is near true, then you must believe a soul can write from the great beyond!
However, if one of his stories can make a bereaved widow to laugh out loud, my condition is nowhere near that. So why won't I enjoy his stories?