Let us all sit and imagine for a moment this was the other way round, the man would have rushed here to talk about how his wife wants to cut his family off. Is it that the men on nairaland love nagging more than pregnant women or what?

I don't think she's ready to settle down yet with her statements if you can't handle it go your ways hope it will not be too late for her

bigpicture001:


Must one be part of a family to show the most love and care....?

Which one is breaking..? Didnt youbread where she said she will always place her siblings over her hubby and even child she births.

guy, that's how daft people respond to important issues. Don't mind that foolish post!

They just jump and conclude nonsense.

My brother, for your own good leave that girl.
I know men suffering it today, when a woman gets married her attention switches to her husband and children, her number one priority becomes how to build her own home with her husband and raise her kids, while also carrying her siblings, father and mother along.

But when her siblings comes first, then her husband and kids comes second, I pity her husband. You won't understand it now, until when you become her husband.
You will be building your home alone without a helper (wife). All her resources and attention will be channelled to her siblings.

OP u have no moral right to discuss or make decision on this matter she is just your friend...not wife when nigerians go get sense..I will give u my reply like 7 years time when u are married and ur wife start having children...cuz by then u will be the one forcing her to call her siblings..all women ..mothers have been programmed just continue with ur boyfriend and girlfriend matter

Nwodosis:
You are not a good person, a family that you are yet to be officially part of, you want to break the family love bond! You are materialistic and selfish but love is not about materialism and selfishness.

you are a daft person.

What a nonsense response!

You don't know anything about marriage or family bond.
You are the type that would milk your sisters and brothers married or unmarried dry.

Marriage is bigger than that useless family bond of yours. A family bond that does not respect marriage is nonsense.

Now let me tutor you, so you don't go about breaking peoples marriages, when a lady is married, her husband and children becomes her number priority! She starts building her own home. This is how God has planned marriage. That does not mean her siblings father and mother are number two priority, No, rather she must find a way to reach out to them and carry them along as family too.

It is optional dear, when you eventually get married, please follow my advice to avoid divorce.

bigpicture001:


I found out the hospitals she now goes to for an ailment which is now past tense..its been there, no other person pays that much attention..I check on her tru calla almost every 4hours...I stand by her through thick and thin...

You don't get..I am totally involved in her day to day life..to say she cant do certain things for me cuz am not family is just so disgusting....
Mr. Emotions..who is more emotionally supportive of a lady when in need of it..ur sibling's or ur very loving girlfriend..

Would your adult brother stay days with you in the hospital if you are down..? As compared to ur fiancee..? If no..is she your family memeber yet..?

Guy cease to reason with just emotion..com to reality

U never see sickness. Wife wil run leave u.
Family will gather ur ass bc they ve nowherr to run.
U are just seeing this from ur angle.
That lady will build good bond btw ur children and u.
I divorced my wife for standing between me and my poor family members. We pass tru alot but they never left me til I stabilized

bigpicture001:


I found out the hospitals she now goes to for an ailment which is now past tense..its been there, no other person pays that much attention..I check on her tru calla almost every 4hours...I stand by her through thick and thin...

You don't get..I am totally involved in her day to day life..to say she cant do certain things for me cuz am not family is just so disgusting....
Mr. Emotions..who is more emotionally supportive of a lady when in need of it..ur sibling's or ur very loving girlfriend..

Would your adult brother stay days with you in the hospital if you are down..? As compared to ur fiancee..? If no..is she your family memeber yet..?

Guy cease to reason with just emotion..com to reality

oga go and sit down u have no moral right to discuss on this matter..for now u are only her friend...we all stayed with different babes in hospital during our university days.we nor marry any one..if u have not done this u nor be guy..I will answer you in 8 years time when u are married..for now continue with ur boyfriend and girlfriend..she may even have other plans u are not seeing now nor be woman

bigpicture001:


I found out the hospitals she now goes to for an ailment which is now past tense..its been there, no other person pays that much attention..I check on her tru calla almost every 4hours...I stand by her through thick and thin...

You don't get..I am totally involved in her day to day life..to say she cant do certain things for me cuz am not family is just so disgusting....
Mr. Emotions..who is more emotionally supportive of a lady when in need of it..ur sibling's or ur very loving girlfriend..

Would your adult brother stay days with you in the hospital if you are down..? As compared to ur fiancee..? If no..is she your family memeber yet..?

Guy cease to reason with just emotion..com to reality

you have already crossed the line!
If I knew you were a terrible simp I wouldn't have responded earlier.
You have already out performed more legally married men in terms of commitments and responsibilities and you are just an ordinary boyfriend. Damn!

You crossed the line!

The rule is don't investment so much on a girlfriend. Everything done for a girlfriend that does not translate to a wife is called WASTAGE.

bigpicture001:


But we are planning to marry...and I dint mean cut off from ur siblings...I mean pay more attention to ur relationship and and get more involved with ur man...ur brothers and sister wont take a biga risk for you than your loving husband and boyfriend...

You are very petty for man!
This complains should be coming from your girlfriend, not u the man! Very shameful!
Better leave that girl alone & let her meet a more reasonable person, before u ruin her life with your pettiness!

bigpicture001:


But we are planning to marry...and I dint mean cut off from ur siblings...I mean pay more attention to ur relationship and and get more involved with ur man...ur brothers and sister wont take a biga risk for you than your loving husband and boyfriend...

i think u lack wisdom.

Now you know the kind of wife she's gonna be. You can decide to marry or leave her for better dude out there.
Adult with childish brain.

mariahAngel:

Lol how r u

Fuckyoumod:
you are a daft person.

What a nonsense response!

You don't know anything about marriage or family bond.
You are the type that would milk your sisters and brothers married or unmarried dry.

Marriage is bigger than that useless family bond of yours. A family bond that does not respect marriage is nonsense.

Now let me tutor you, so you don't go about breaking peoples marriages, when a lady is married, her husband and children becomes her number priority! She starts building her own home. This is how God has planned marriage. That does not mean her siblings father and mother are number two priority, No, rather she must find a way to reach out to them and carry them along as family too.

It is optional dear, when you eventually get married, please follow my advice to avoid divorce.

Are they married?

bigpicture001:
Yes it true that we always claim that family is everything, they will never desert you bla bla bla....but my main question is, is your family always right in taking your top ranking position of importance..?

Many atimes we have heard of family members betrayals just like friends do. We have heard of family abandonment of a sibling, we have seen a lot if times how elder siblibgs jettision youger ones and face thier own life...

My girlfriend is an orphan with four other siblings. Who grew apart in other relatives houses. Everyone is now adult..she cant seem to get over her emotional connections to her siblings, always claming they com first even before her lover or eventual hubby or even the children she will birth...

Looking at the family, I don't even see what is so special a sacrifice they have done for themselves. Example her eldest bro who earns over 600k monthly gave her a paltry 15k for a trip to sokoto for her NYSC. A place she has never been to..this includes t/fare, feeding etc. Her siblings would never feel like being around each other except it calls for a serious Holiday like xmas...there are many more I can't list here.

Wtf! My family have much more sacrifices for each other yet we understood the roles new person entering the family through love have in each and everybody's lives....

People are so two faced in this country claiming family family but dont really care..for the ladies that wil crop up on this thread..first ask yourself how many times have your brother bought you exmas gift or burthday gift before you open ur lieing mouth

Mind you this is not to underscore, the relevance of family bond, but everyone that affects your life should be rightly placed where they importantly belong.

Get out if you can't respect her emotional connection. You said she and her siblings were orphans and yet don't want her to feel too attached to them. We're your family members orphans or stayed with different relatives? If you did you would understand what it is to have a family.

OP, you are a very selfish person. What's your business with her attachment with her family? You expect her to cut ties with them over your dick or what? Omo face your role and leave the rest!

As an orphan you don't know what they went through and the sacrifices they made for each other to be where they are today, I bet if she turned out to be a bread or akara seller in the street you won't notice her.

bigpicture001:


Must one be part of a family to show the most love and care....?

Which one is breaking..? Didnt youbread where she said she will always place her siblings over her hubby and even child she births.

You don't deserve that lady.. how on earth do you expect her not to love and cherish her family?

I'm not surprised by your actions though, it's a typical African man's mentality

She knows them first before knowing you

I wish that lady can drop your ass off, with this your materialistic mentality about family's love

Lol seems this guy is possessive and jealous, nothing wrong but you need to understand why she's like that, already you say she is an orphan the attachment could have been out of life situations they have faced as orphans.

It can change really just don't force her or make her feel bad about it, keep a good and steady relationship with her.

Nbotee:


Ur galfriend not wife... U haven't married her yet and have no right to complain about her attachments with her siblings. For someone who's an orphan U expect her to jus detach herself from her siblings ? And over a boyfriend? How selfish and unreasonable can U b.. If U marry her na complete isolation b dat na abi

My elder sister is a victim of this

The useless man took her far away from us, and my senseless sister accepted because of non existing

bigpicture001:


But we are planning to marry...and I dint mean cut off from ur siblings...I mean pay more attention to ur relationship and and get more involved with ur man...ur brothers and sister wont take a biga risk for you than your loving husband and boyfriend...

Guy you are wrong

Her family will sacrifice and take a bigger risk much more than you

You talk as if we are all dumb.. You are absolutely wrong with that statements

Nbotee:


As a boyfriend U asking her to pay more attention to U and get more involved with U and less with her family is unreasonable. What do U mean get more involved with u? Move into ur apartment? Spend more time with U than she does with them? U are asking her to chose between U and her siblings which is very wrong.

He's already calculating the brothers salary and how much he must give his sister for a trip. The girlfriend who must have told him the salary is not even so bothered but the boyfriend who is not earning the 600k is bothered on her behalf.
If the girl reads this, she better run away from this guy, he's a mere price tag

Kondomatic:
Ordinary boyfriend wants his girlfriend to detach from her family. Imagine what would happen when he eventually marries her.


I wish the relationship ends this evening, the girl deserves better.

i swear to God

I wish I'm a witch, i will scatter the stupid relationship instanta

lyndaway:
Family over everything.... family is everything..

Mario Puzo...

Op you’re a selfish human... if Na my sister Godforbid you marry her

Anu

i swear down

The guy dey annoy me

Instead of him to support and show her much more love

plaetton:


I think you're an insecure man for expecting your girlfriend, not a wife you have married, detach herself from her family just to please you.
And how dare you try to paint her family members in unpleasant colors.
What about yours ?
You're probably more envious that she has a closely knit family than you have.

The guy no be good person

He was even saying if things goes south he will be the one to stand by her not her family

The guy forget the adage Family over everything

Leave her ,she never get sense

DonBenny77:

Good person! I'm dating an orphan I can relate to what he said, my girlfriend's brothers would collect rent from late late dad's property and she won't get a dime. Where the family love?

look at you

You place family's love on materials things

Even if they didn't give her a dime and she still chose to love her family deeply then let it be

Her mentality for love for family differ from una type of material love for family

wirinet:


It is wrong to place family over husband (or wife).

ok e right to place husband/wife over family?

Guy, ignore the bashings here. No matter how important her family is to her she never should say they’ll forever be more important than her hubby or kids.

Free her.

wirinet:


The OP never asked his girlfriend to throw her family away. He is only asking for them to allow them start their own family without undue interference. If the family can leave their sister in the cold because she decided to start her own family, then that family is very wicked and selfish.

that is how they start

He will take the girl out of her family reach

Na from clap dance take dey start

I love the girl for the genuine love she had for her family

LienwaltAbel:
Let us all sit and imagine for a moment this was the other way round, the man would have rushed here to talk about how his wife wants to cut his family off. Is it that the men on nairaland love nagging more than pregnant women or what?

Same thing I have been wondering and he is even a boyfriend, he didnt even manage to say fiance, that makes the situation worse.

He is even calculating the salary one of the girls siblings earn, his mouth like he's earning 600k and only gave her 15k. I just tire for the guy. I would be very careful with someone like him.

And then the boys that are preaching 'when are woman marries attention is shifted to immediate family' should preach it for the guys too. It goes both ways that's how it should be.

jaxxy:


The fact ur are trying hard to compete with her siblings is disgusting just because u do things for her. Competing not with her Frnds bt her only family. Emotional connection is not about who does things for u and then demands u listen to them cos of it ok?

It is about who makes u secure.

So if her boss in the office does all these things u listed here including the hospital links he should automatically demand to be more important than her family because of it??

Just listen to ur self?

U don’t have a clue have emotional security and attachment works. It’s not by demanding it like a lecturer.

I have to conclude ur are either a highly insecure or a very selfish and self centered person.

If u do anything for sm1 u record it and can demand their 2 kidneys for it in future because u did what nobody has done b4 4 them?

Listen to ur arrogant self properly. Then look in the mirror.

The Guy don't deserve that good girl

He thought family love is determined by material things

You are a characterless human being. Why do you want your girlfriend to detach herself from her family? It means you have an ulterior motive. That girl doesn't deserve an inhuman person like you.

If her brother gave her N15k as transport for NYSC, what stopped you from topping it up?

Selfish human being, you are.