Am a member of this forum bt i just decided to open another user name in other to conceal my identity and i wl be glad to get some good advice on hw to deal wt ths problem.

I was shocked and almost fainted today wen i saw d result of my HIV test  and since morning i hv nt eaten anytin coz my appetite is gone and am having a terrible headache since then. This is my second HIV test coz d first one i took was in 2004 wen my sister had an accident and needed a blood transfusion and my parents called me to get home immediately to help save her life and i didn't waste anytime to come home for d blood donation. I thank God that she eventually made it bt one thing that struck my mind then was if incase my test shows HIV positive hw am i going to deal wt it since my parents and siblings were aware of d whole thing and my parents thought that am  still a virgin then coz i came frm a strict xtian family upbringing.

I then vow to be careful frm then on bcoz i had unprotected sex wt abt three different girls before  that and i hv seen my con.dom burst in two different occasions wt a LovePeddler i bleep in a brotel bt yet i didn't get d virus,ths happened around d year 2000-2004.
In d year 2006,i met ths girl and we became intimate friends and we later started having protected sex bt after a while i then made another mistake by having unprotected sex wt her and we both loved it since we trust eachother bt we didn't do any HIV test to knw if we are safe. I later went for a job interview and passed and that was in 2007 a year into our relationship and my company demanded for a compulsory HIV test result frm a government hospital. I didn't went for d test immediately because am nt sure of myself bt i knw dat my girlfriend was d only girl i hv bn havin sex wt after my first test and that was my vow,to keep to only one girl. 

So,wat came to my mind was to ask her to do d test first because i dnt wnt my company and my parents including my friends to knw first because everyone was happy wen i got d job and i too was very happy for d job. So,she did d test and told me that it was negative and i doubted her telling her dat mine was positive just to get d truth frm her bt she insisted in sticking to her words and even told me that she wld come wt d test result. She later paid me a visit  and i saw d result whch was negative. I ask her to repeat that and she did and it also came negative. Then she started asking me abt my fidelity and i told her dat i dnt hv any other bt i later told her dat its all lies that i didnt do any test and my company didnt request for it again.

I later seperated wt my girlfriend and nw am abt settling down this year wt my new woman bt she demanded for d test and i agree though we hvn't  had sex and since am desperate to marry this year,i told her dat i wl do it whch i did yesterday and came ths morning for d result only to b told that am Hiv positive. My former gf was ok coz she married late last year and living happily wt her husband.

My fears nw is my parents coz we are only two boys remaining since our eldest died wen we are stil young. All my parents hope is on me and d wnt to see their grandchild and d love my fiance so well.

Hw am i going to break ths sad news to them and my beloved fiance? And am i really positive since my former gf is negative and i hv bn making unprotected love wt her since two years plus and neva hv unprotected sex since she left and i only did it once in a month and mostly unpenetrative sex.

I honestly need your advice coz am already dying slowly since i saw d test. Pls bear wt my wrong use of english, i just dnt get myself nw.

Uhmmmmm

wow

Ur responses is nt encouraging to me.

jeeez its hard to console u right now ,i dint grasp d last bit of ur story, after u had split up wiv ur galfriend of 2yrs , did u have unprotected sex wiv any1 before meeting ur present galfriend , if yes den u might have contracted it in that act , al i can say is take d test again if u in denial , if it shows u positive again , u need to brave it up and tell ur family most especially ur fiance .its a virus dat can be monitored , pray about ur situation deeply miracles sure happens, u wud definetly b included in my prayers wish u well and hope u react well to ur medications wen u strt taking them .B strong plss

U don't have to die b4 ur time,if U r in denial go 4 another test in a government hospital,if it's still d same then register with them in order to start treatment as soon as possible,tell Ur fiancee cos she has d right to know but if it will break ur family's heart or if they are not d understanding types better save them d agony and live with it cos U r not gonna die if U don't want to die.

Na wa oh

brb

Just please make sure you inform all the ladies that you have slept with unprotected, so that they could check and know and not donate it to other people without knowing.
make sure you treat yourself and enjoy

go for more tests in at least two different government hospitals just to be sure, i dont think you're +ve except you're not telling us the complete story

Well it is not a death sentence, if you want us to tell you that. You can live with it, if you take your medicine and eat properly.

But it does seem you are in denial. Get another test done and if it is the same results, then you should consult a physician. It is good that you know your status though. Some people are scared to get tested.

This should tell guys to never sleep with an ashawo.

what you have is HIV NOT AIDS so if you take good care of yourself and take your madicines as you should, you can still live for about 15 more years. I probably wont live that long. its a good thing you discovered in time. whatever you do, dont tell ANYONE about it. not now , not ever.if you do, the stigma will kill you before the AIDS.one more thing. i dont know how you will do it but you might want to leave your parents with one or two kids before.

Just go and repeat the test, it will tell u negative!! believe me, i have d feeling u got d wrong result

OP, if this is true (sorry that I'm doubting your "genuinity" , but there are too many fakes on NL), then I'm so sorry!

Take heart my brother. I don't really have any advise to give about breaking the news, but I just add to drop a comment. It's not the end of the world my dear. May the Lord be with you.

And pls don't commit suicide, seriously it's just HIV, you'll live past it (with the right treatments)!

https://www.facebook.com/greaterthanaids

check on that page on facebook, there is a lot of info u can gather from it?
n about the child, if you get someone to marry, u can have a child who is none hiv infected, there is a drug now that are given to hiv infected mothers, so it doesnt get to their children whic is free,but i dont knw if it in nigeria yet, hiv is not a death sentence.

but about the parent part, i feel if your fiancee decide to get married to you but it suppse to be, n go back to the hospital for your clinical stuff, there is no need telling your parent, because they might be bitter about it all their life, this should be between you and your fiancee alone. but u can tell your parent tho, which idk might do a lot good than harm or might do a lot harm than good.

HIV began one person at a time, and it will end one person at a time.
A basketball player has been living with hiv for the past decades or more than, and he is stil happily married with is wife, and he is looking younger than ever
this is the easiest disease in this life,that u cant prevent just with a condom, but sadly millions get effected every year.

A person is not defined by a disease,the disease is defined by the person.

to the doubters


any 'normal' person playing with hiv disease  is obviously sicker than the hiv disease itself. i dont think that is the case here


even if the story is 'abnormal' Im sure many folks on NL and guest readers alike who are in similar position or knows someone who is would most definitely gain from whatever that is said here.

Not sure why my first reply didn't post here but guy ^{I don't know why I don't believe your story} I don't understand how you went for HIV/AIDS test yesterday, got the result this morning and buummm here you are on NL telling us tory! ^{don't know how many people that will think of their computer or even remember how to type only hours after collecting a HIV P result?}

what ever you do man just don't commit suicide. Confess to your parents, they might be sad, but they'll get over it with time. If you're a religous person, try seeking help from a church. Just remember, DO NOT COMMIT SUICIDE.

~Sissy~:

to the doubters


any 'normal' person playing with hiv disease  is obviously sicker than the hiv disease itself. i dont think that is the case here


even if the story is 'abnormal' Im sure many folks on NL and guest readers alike who are in similar position or knows someone who is would most definitely gain from whatever that is said here.

My dear there is nothing we haven't heard here in NL

prince_onx:

Not sure why my first reply didn't post here but guy ^{I don't know why I don't believe your story} I don't understand how you went for HIV/AIDS test yesterday, got the result this morning and buummm here you are on NL telling us tory! ^{don't know how many people that will think of their computer or even remember how to type only hours after collecting a HIV P result?}

everybody deals with situations very differently. he is dealing with his by sharing it and seeking more info on it.

prince_onx:

My dear there is nothing we haven't heard here in NL

guy i can assure u, if hiv test is done for every nland member, @least 30 percent will be affected,
dnt let us wallow in ignorance and be truthful to ourselve, sum1 killed is self yesterday or so in naija, because he found oout he was hiv infected.
the truth is even tho, this poster here is not affected, thousands of nland members are affected

EzeUche_:

This should tell guys to never sleep with an ashawo.

And who said you can only contact it through them or even sex? Some of those girls you call ashawo are Law and Medical students so my guy them no get ID

prince_onx:

My dear there is nothing we haven't heard here in NL

I know o! I'm a big skeptic on here nowadays. I can't be wasting my time dropping advise for fakes. BuT,   I have a feeling this guy is genuine and if he's not then----

Gosh! This thread is so sad. Reminds of a book called "it happened to Nancy"

Seriously people I don't think anyone would lied on having such a dangerous illness such as HIV.


@Poster, you have to tell your parents. Tell them so you can get the medication and support you need.
it's going to be hard for them to cope with,
but it will get easier.

Donlittle:

guy i can assure u, if hiv test is done for every nland member, @least 30 percent will be affected,
dnt let us wallow in ignorance and be truthful to ourselve, sum1 killed is self yesterday or so in naija, because he found oout he was hiv infected.
the truth is even tho, this poster here is not affected, thousands of nland members are affected

You almost sound like NL is one missionary school or something! are Nairalanders not the regular people you see and deal with everyday? No doubt you can find HIV/AIDS among people we work with, go to school and church with, everywhere so NL is not different.

@sissy: You right! that might be his own way of sharing the news or seeking ideas of what to do but like I said, anyone that left the hospital with such result with the papers and print out of things they will advise you to do both counseling and that person still remember nairaland! All well!

rokiatu:

Gosh! This thread is so sad. Reminds of a book called "it happened to Nancy"

Seriously people I don't think anyone would lied on having such a dangerous illness such as HIV.


@Poster, you have to tell your parents. Tell them so you can get the medication and support you need.
it's going to be hard for them to cope with,
but it will get easier.

Tell which parent? Please don't cause early death for your parents oh if this is indeed a true story. This is a full grown man talking about getting married you guys should advise him if you have one and if he really have HIV, telling his folks comes later. Yes its good to tell your family but most african families are not very supportive in cases like this so follow your Doctors advise first (^{i.e if you truely have HIV})

your life will never be the same.

OP

the deed is done. however, you might want to get a second opinion on the test just to reassure you that it is indeed positive.

the next step is not how to tell anybody but how to take good care for yourself now and arm yourself with all the necessary reliable and accurate informations you lay your hand on regarding this disease and how to manage it.

i'd encourage you to visit/see a doctor and see when you can start treatment. the earlier, the better.

next is to change your lifestyle( diet, attitude towards everything, life and the disease inclusive because it can and will get discouraging at times) to accommodate your management of this disease.

telling your family will be hard because some people still see/think hiv as a death sentence, not everyone know that it is not transmitted by hand shake, sharing plate etc so do brace yourself for the stigma your might face/ if any) from your own family and others you might tell. there is no easy way per se to tell them you have HIV.

if i may ask how close/supportive is your family? because you will definitely need their support.