justiz5:


I hope when your precious son finds himself in such a situation. You will advise him to do same (That is to foot the bills of another man's child that is well to do). The trash that come out of Women's mouth amazes me.

May God bring this situation in the lives of one of your sons.

If your words are backed by hate and curses, i wish them back on you.

There is nothing wrong with two adults co-parenting and sharing the bills of their kids just cause to they are not together.

It's wickedness.

AyeMoJuba:


You are wrong bro....I'm 50+ and searching for a single vibrant lady to marry now. I will NEVER go for a single mother of 1 talk more of 2...only weak men does that.

I feel you. Single mothers are bad news period!!!!

I didnt say ALL 50+, I just meant that that is the kind of people that are more amenable to single mama. It's definitely not something for a young man.

personally i dont know why a man would marry a single mother period!!! it's not like she has options!!!

IMHO single mothers are for companionship, not marraige. they bring nothing to the table except companionship.

Romanoff:


This is the reason I called him a deadbeat.
1. It's not that he's incapable of child support.
2. He's withdrawing child support so he can take the kids away.

If man no get, we go gree say e no get.

But like I also said, they them double their hustle and take care of the kids. Especially the wife.

Abeg go rest, all these one na just English wey u dey speak. If u haven’t lived that kinda life b4, nor come dey give advice about doubling hustle and taking care of kids and all. Let dem dilly dally to whichever way fate carry dem

Please,take care of the kids. They won't forget you.
May God bless your hustle!!!

grandlexuz:


Your write up is biased and totally leaning towards the female gender. I don't see how kids living with their dad amounts to being abandoned by their mum. When my wife abandoned me three years ago I Iived with my kids for two years in a different town, taking care of their every needs even with deteriorating health condition. The had a phone of their own through their mum could reach them directly. During holidays I made sure the visited her..

When parents separate it is very important both parties get involved in the upbringing of the kids. Getting involve doesn't just mean financially but by spending time and guiding the kids too. From the write up the lady wouldn't let the man be with the kids because of rumours that he plans to runoff with them. Why should a father not have his kids over?

The lady and the dad of the kids need to work out an amicable settlement irrespective of their differences for the betterment of the kids. Whatever the settlement both parties spending time with the kids should be a guiding factor. It is the responsibility of the man to pay his kids school fees and put the lady on an upkeep allowance for the kids if the settle for the kids to be with her. The man also deseves acess to his kids.

In Cameroon most well to do men stay with their kids after a separation especially if the woman eventually remarries. For a year now my kids have been with their mum because I have been very mobile. I pay their fees and buy their personal effects, I put their mum on a 300 US Dollars equivalent monthly allowance for their upkeep. I'm not wealthy and its an enormous sacrifice I do for my kids offcourse... Oops I forgot this story wasnt about me...Lol

300 dollar benefits when another man Is digging her hole and changing styles on the bed but hey afterall when ur 300dollars come they spend

Dextre:


Abeg go rest, all these one na just English wey u dey speak. If u haven’t lived that kinda life b4, nor come dey give advice about doubling hustle and taking care of kids and all. Let dem dilly dally to whichever way fate carry dem

I have lived with people in similar situations.

One of them let her husband take the kids away. Today, she's alone, miserable and can't even tell where her kids are. For the kids to not reach out to her in these days of social media, I wonder what awful things they must have been told about their mother.

Another took her baby daddy to court and got him to pay fees while she handled the rest. Now that the man is even out of job, she's the one hustling to care for them.

I run advocacy on issues like these as well as child literacy, legislative processes and SDGs, trust me, I know what I am talking about.

Aje.....


why not give the owner of the property back to him...abi you won claim the kids nii

Let him take his kids, u give birth to your own.

Samson, how is Baruwa?

Andrew87:
I got married to my wife. I love her both with the kids but the biological father of the kids is a bit wealthy and left the whole responsibilities to my wife since last year.

This is not funny because I am part of her although we hustle hard but it's not easy. He insists the kids must be with him if he must take care of them but a member of his family informed my wife that he plans to take them away and she will not see them.

Please friends what's ur take on this? Times are really hard.

Romanoff:


Child support doesn't need to be in cash na. Just pay for basic things.

Forget all these child supports you're talking about, do you think is all Men that are not serious?

Even if we are to go through legal processes to settle the issues, there are age the children will attain and the court will allow them to be with their father. If they are still below that age is understandable.

I repeat, no woman can take my children away from me. Do you think is all Men will allow women to take their children away in situation this? Forget that.

caprini1:
Dont mind the Ole jati jati.

the man has shown interest in hijacking the babies. Why not raise the white flag and give him his property whole heatedly than developing fondness for them and they later break your heart by going with their biological father. Blood they say is always thicker than water no matter the case

1. Why did the lady left the wealthy man?
2. Why did you marry her when you know it will be a burden to you?
3. Why did the man want to take his two kids from her?
That is the question we need to ask, I cannot judge or side anyone here.
The only thing left for you is to take care of the kids if you really love them and their mum

INTEGRITYA1:


Forget all these child supports you're talking about, do you think is all Men that are not serious?

Even if we are to go through legal processes to settle the issues, there are age the children will attain and the court will allow them to be with their father. If they are still below that age is understandable.

I repeat, no woman can take my children away from me. Do you think is all Men will allow women to take their children away in situation this? Forget that.

Rotfl.

I hear you.

Romanoff:


I have lived with people in similar situations.

One of them let her husband take the kids away. Today, she's alone, miserable and can't even tell where her kids are. For the kids to not reach out to her in these days of social media, I wonder what awful things they must have been told about their mother.

Another took her baby daddy to court and got him to pay fees while she handled the rest. Now that the man is even out of job, she's the one hustling to care for them.

I run advocacy on issues like these as well as child literacy, legislative processes and SDGs, trust me, I know what I am talking about.

This is not about the woman, nor be the woman come complain here. It’s the guy, las las the guy nor wan shoulder any responsibilities and he is right in doing so, life too hard to dey carry another man problem for head. It’s better for them to be adviced to find a common ground with the baby daddy, than tell the couples to double dere hustle and the guy should assume responsibilities. You think taking care of kids is by buying cheese balls and birthday cakes. Nor be so o

Wetin u find go after two yansh? And maybe na two fathers o

Op you are very funny.I Remember when my married Ex left her Husband and wanted to come back to me,i told point blank that i cnt marry a lady that has a child with another Man.Told her to go settle with her husband,she went and settled with her husband.

Romanoff:



If your words are backed by hate and curses, i wish them back on you.

There is nothing wrong with two adults co-parenting and sharing the bills of their kids just cause to they are not together.

It's wickedness.

If you are convinced that your conclusion is out of love why are you afraid of my prayers?

Watch out as this scenario plays out in your life later on.
Your son must fall victim to an a cunny mum with kids. The woman will charm him to take care of her kids she had with another man at the expense of you. You will cry but find no solution.

You come on nairaland and promote biased judgement at the expense of the men thinking it will not backfire. It will surely do.

justiz5:

If you are convinced that your conclusion is out of love why are you afraid of my prayers?

Watch out as this scenario plays out in your life later on.
Your son must fall victim to an a cunny mum with kids. The woman will charm him to take care of her kids she had with another man at the expense of you. You will cry but find no solution.

You come on nairaland and promote biased judgement at the expense of the men thinking it will not backfire. It will surely do.

Co-parenting ma bias judgement?

Wawu.

I gave that advice like I would give it to my brother, no hate, just a win win situation.

Could be your misogyny speaking out sha.

DirtyGold:
This thread is annoying me sef

Well done captain save a hoe... if she was so great, she won't be divorced now! Fresh girls are turning 18 every single day but, your sense failed you so badly that you had to marry a single mother of two.

No sensible man throws away a good woman that gives him peace especially if they have children together. Don't worry, what her former husband saw and divorced her, you'll see it too in due time.
How you people manage your situation is your headache.

What's tha business?

Baba,funny thing is she wasn't even married to the man,she was just his babys mama,he didn't state it anywhere that she is a divorcee o,the niga married a single ho.e who got fvcked a million times and birthed 2kids and got dumped..simping on a whole new level..make him carry him wahala..him never see anything yet,a lady with 2KIDS..like wtf

Romanoff:
To those telling him to let the father take his kids, if you were one of those kids, won't you resent your mother for abandoning you?

Wouldn't you ask that "what type of mother will abandon her kids?"

@Op, you knew she had kids when you married her, I know it's not easy, but you both will have to double your hustle. Get other side businesses, cut your coat according to your material.

If you'll need to downgrade their school, do so, if you'll need to move to a cheaper area, do so.

Do all you can to cut cost.

Those kids will never understand or forgive their mum in the future.

Use two side look the matter.

Another thing your wife can do is to take him to court, especially for child support.

Let her get a good lawyer if she wants him to care for his children.

MODIFIED

She can go through FIDA to sort out Co-parenting and child support agreement.

For those coming for me, if you're not capable of talking like a homosapien, don't mention me, cause I no well. I will drag you from here to Timbuktu. So come correct

u have a good point but it would have been better if u looked at it from both sides and not just from the mother's end

Two people are involved in birthing a child and this two people are responsible for taking care of that child or children

Now u said the kids will not forgive their mum for abandoning them, so that means they will forgive their father for not taking care of them right....just asking

Now, talking about child support, this is Nigeria not the US, do u know how much the OP and the wife will spend in court or in getting a lawyer ? The father of the children is wealthy so money is not his problem...except u are ready to sponsor them

The op does not have total say in the lives of those kids just because he is married to their mother EXCEPT he adopted them legally, which I am sure he didn't

The only thing I feel he can do is to allow the woman and the father of the kids to settle their issues themselves because wen they were making the babies he was not there

Since he is not impotent God will give him his own kids, so he should focus on having his own...God will help them both

Chinny024:
Please,take care of the kids. They won't forget you.
May God bless your hustle!!!

Give him the money to take care of them na, that d koko dere, nor be daddy is home dey take dey take care of kids

Reelmii:
y have a good point but it would have been better if u looked at it from both sides and not just dlfrim the mother's end

Two people are involved in birthing a child and this two people are responsible for taking care of that child or children

Now u said the kids will not forgive their mum for abandoning them, so that means they will forgive their father for not taking care of them right....just asking

Now, talking about child support, this is Nigeria not the US, do u know how much the OP and the wife will spend in court or in getting a lawyer ? The father of the children is wealthy so money is not his problem...except u are ready to sponsor them

The op does not have a say total say in the lives of those kids just because he is married to their mother EXCEPT he adopted them legally, which I am sure he didn't

The only thing I feel he can do is to allow the woman and the father of the kids to settle their issues themselves because wen they were making the babies he was not there

Since he is not impotent God will give him his own kids, so he should focus on having his own...God will help them both

That's why I said they should go to court so they can work on co parenting. The man doesn't have to pay cash to the mother. He can handle the payments himself. Payments like school fees and health insurance.

They bother have the kids, taking them away because he has money is just wicked.

Reex12:
300 dollar benefits when another man Is digging her hole and changing styles on the bed but hey afterall when ur 300dollars come they spend

Hahaha. I do it for my kids. The deserve the best irrespective. When you have kids who make >19 average and have never been second you feel blessed beyond measure..

Romanoff:


I have lived with people in similar situations.

One of them let her husband take the kids away. Today, she's alone, miserable and can't even tell where her kids are. For the kids to not reach out to her in these days of social media, I wonder what awful things they must have been told about their mother.

Another took her baby daddy to court and got him to pay fees while she handled the rest. Now that the man is even out of job, she's the one hustling to care for them.

I run advocacy on issues like these as well as child literacy, legislative processes and SDGs, trust me, I know what I am talking about.

No you dont, you are talking with female bias.

An an aside all children will leave home sometime, this is something women (particularly single mothers) fail to realise. A child is not a recipe for loneliness, a partner is. Secondly women are more prone to poisoning the minds of their children than men. men rarely say anything bad about their wives/ex-wives to their children, in fact i do not know of any case of a man the most a man will do is say i will not pay for achild not under my roof or under the roof of another man. The world is full of incidents where women (even those in marraiges) weaponise their children against their fathers.

Romanoff:


That's why I said they should go to court so they can work on co parenting. The man doesn't have to pay cash to the mother. He can handle the payments himself. Payments like school fees and health insurance.

They bother have the kids, taking them away because he has money is just wicked.

the man who impregnated the woman has every right to take em away. If the woman decides to live with him cause of her kids that one is up to her

Romanoff:
To those telling him to let the father take his kids, if you were one of those kids, won't you resent your mother for abandoning you?

Wouldn't you ask that "what type of mother will abandon her kids?"

@Op, you knew she had kids when you married her, I know it's not easy, but you both will have to double your hustle. Get other side businesses, cut your coat according to your material.

If you'll need to downgrade their school, do so, if you'll need to move to a cheaper area, do so.

Do all you can to cut cost.

Those kids will never understand or forgive their mum in the future.

Use two side look the matter.

Another thing your wife can do is to take him to court, especially for child support.

Let her get a good lawyer if she wants him to care for his children.

MODIFIED

She can go through FIDA to sort out Co-parenting and child support agreement.

For those coming for me, if you're not capable of talking like a homosapien, don't mention me, cause I no well. I will drag you from here to Timbuktu. So come correct

he should be taking responsibility of another man....who well for this Nigeria!

Juicewrld27:
the man who impregnated the woman has every right to take em away. If the woman decides to live with him cause of her kids that one is up to her

No. He has no right to take them away. They both own the kids.

uthlaw:
he should be taking responsibility of another man....who well for this Nigeria!

Shey e no know before e marry the woman ni?

Romanoff:


This is the reason I called him a deadbeat.
1. It's not that he's incapable of child support.
2. He's withdrawing child support so he can take the kids away.

If man no get, we go gree say e no get.

But like I also said, they them double their hustle and take care of the kids. Especially the wife.

How do u know he is withdrawing child support so he can take the kids away
Is it not possible that like me he is seeing that this man and his wife want to milk him
U take sides of this gold digger and his wife and have refused to see the other side of the story

Ur take from the start is he must pay the woman
So it's ok
U guys always love the victim card

Romanoff:


No. He has no right to take them away. They both own the kids.

maybe in europe that is applicable but we africans believe the man has every right over his kids.

Weedhustler:
U be mugu.....who send u?

correct mugu

[s]

Romanoff:
To those telling him to let the father take his kids, if you were one of those kids, won't you resent your mother for abandoning you?

Wouldn't you ask that "what type of mother will abandon her kids?"

@Op, you knew she had kids when you married her, I know it's not easy, but you both will have to double your hustle. Get other side businesses, cut your coat according to your material.

If you'll need to downgrade their school, do so, if you'll need to move to a cheaper area, do so.

Do all you can to cut cost.

Those kids will never understand or forgive their mum in the future.

Use two side look the matter.

Another thing your wife can do is to take him to court, especially for child support.

Let her get a good lawyer if she wants him to care for his children.

MODIFIED

She can go through FIDA to sort out Co-parenting and child support agreement.

For those coming for me, if you're not capable of talking like a homosapien, don't mention me, cause I no well. I will drag you from here to Timbuktu. So come correct

[/s]Shut up!

Ignore this person