Good day Nairalanders!!

Please I need your advice. My current girlfriend has all the good characters that perfectly defines a wife material plus she's a scholar and also a virgin (not particularly concerned about this anyway but to evince how disciplined she is) but sometimes she will look attractive to me and other times she will appear unattractive and I won't feel attracted to her at all. To clarify things, this changes has nothing to do with her dress sense neither my beholding senses but real changes in her facial appearance and allurement.

To be frank and sincere, she is just greatly above average in attractiveness but she's not stable in her look, she falls far below average occasionally. Also we're both dark in complexion and I will prefer my children to be lighter than I am, if not fair.

I have been trying to look beyond her look by focusing on other quality attributes she possess but the issue about her irregular look keep on fluctuating my feelings for her.

The crux of it is that I'm in my early thirties I need serious relationship; someone to build future with and finally get married to but here I am with someone that meet up with more than seventy percent of my requirements in my ideal wife but with unstable look that is threatening my feelings for her.

I am concerned about this because of some issues we consider trivial are still crashing marriages these days....

My questions:

How important is look in marriage?
Is it me that is making issue out of trivial matters because this lady is receiving a lot of relationship advances from people far better than I am and she's turning them down to maintain her commitment to our relationship?
Is there any possibility of stability in her look in the future considering that she's still in school?

Your genuine, mature and constructive advice is highly needed.

I will appreciate ones from those who have experienced what I'm currently going through.

Your solution is within you and it is that you would have preferred if he was light skinned but sadly she's not, hence the reason for the beauty fluctuations. You also want your offsprings to be light skinned or brown skin as least, but you can only get that if your partner or spouse is light skinned in order to compliment yours.

I'd urge you to think over your choice again and decide whether you wanna continue with your dark skinned babe or go for a light skinned woman that you will see and be happy with her look always.

Follow your heart!

You never loved her person. You are been driven by lust for beauty that is why her looks is what determines your feelings for her.


You are emotionally unstable,and I am afraid for her,you will be a very big problem for her after marriage.

MufasaLion:
Your solution is within you and it is that you would have preferred if he was light skinned but sadly she's not, hence the reason for the beauty fluctuations. You also want your offsprings to be light skinned or brown skin as least, but you can only get that if your partner or spouse is light skinned in order to compliment yours.

I'd urge you to think over your choice again and decide whether you wanna continue with your dark skinned babe or go for a light skinned woman that you will see and be happy with her look always.

Follow your heart!

Thank you for this very candid advice, may God bless you. I had the intention of marrying a light skinned lady but you know sometimes life can be funny, there'll come a time that we will have even our deepest and most cherished goals and plans adjusted because we humans only make our plans but God....

I'm about to adjust to that new reality now and that's why I'm seeking advice from intelligent and experienced nairalanders if it's something I can truly outgrow. I also want to know how important look is in a marriage and what really matter in a marriage if beauty will not really count in the marriage in long run.

Once again thank you

MaXiK:


Thank you for this very candid advice, may God bless you. I had the intention of marrying a light skinned lady but you know sometimes life can be funny, there'll come a time that we will have even our deepest and most cherished goals and plans adjusted because we humans only make our plans but God....

I'm about to adjust to that new reality now and that's why I'm seeking advice from intelligent and experienced nairalanders if it's something I can truly outgrow. I also want to know how important look is in a marriage and what really matter in a marriage if beauty will not really count in the marriage in long run.

Once again thank you

You're welcome. Look is very important. Even though I'm sapiosexul but look is very important to me.

Unstable look, hope that's not effects of pancake?

Some ladies can almost use one at once

MaXiK:
Good day Nairalanders!!

Please I need your advice. My current girlfriend has all the good characters that perfectly defines a wife material plus she's a scholar and also a virgin (not particularly concerned about this anyway but to evince how disciplined she is) but sometimes she will look attractive to me and other times she will appear unattractive and I won't feel attracted to her at all. To clarify things, this changes has nothing to do with her dress sense neither my beholding senses but real changes in her facial appearance and allurement.

To be frank and sincere, she is just greatly above average in attractiveness but she's not stable in her look, she falls far below average occasionally. Also we're both dark in complexion and I will prefer my children to be lighter than I am, if not fair.

I have been trying to look beyond her look by focusing on other quality attributes she possess but the issue about her irregular look keep on fluctuating my feelings for her.

The crux of it is that I'm in my early thirties I need serious relationship; someone to build future with and finally get married to but here I am with someone that meet up with more than seventy percent of my requirements in my ideal wife but with unstable look that is threatening my feelings for her.

I am concerned about this because of some issues we consider trivial are still crashing marriages these days....

My questions:

How important is look in marriage?
Is it me that is making issue out of trivial matters because this lady is receiving a lot of relationship advances from people far better than I am and she's turning them down to maintain her commitment to our relationship?
Is there any possibility of stability in her look in the future considering that she's still in school?

Your genuine, mature and constructive advice is highly needed.

I will appreciate ones from those who have experienced what I'm currently going through.

Does she become beautiful when you're Hot and then ugly after you cum? You should have explained how her looks changes. Does her face appear puffy at times and then other times, it's toned? Does her nose grow big and sometimes reduce? Is it her skin? Does it become fresh and sometimes rough? You literally need to sit down and define what you mean by her face changing.

Wahala no dey finish,

Oga are u 100%?,

Wetin u pray for, God carry give u in wholesale u come dey complain say goods no complete.

Oga Life no balance..

Pierocash:
You never loved her person. You are been driven by lust for beauty that is why her looks is what determines your feelings for her.


You are emotionally unstable,and I am afraid for her,you will be a very big problem for her after marriage.

Lol.
Like one scholar rightly opined truth does not matter, perception is the reality, that's the way you perceived the whole matter. My brother, issues of this gravity is more than you are seeing it, it's better for me to seek advice now and get it right than....

Your opinion is very appreciated, I will look into some iotas of sad truth in your submission.

Thank you for giving me some of your time.

helinues:
Unstable look, hope that's not effects of pancake?

Some ladies can almost use one at once

Funny you.
She doesn't wear make up only her natural beauty with her natural long hair.

Which side of her look did you woo?

Like you rightly said: truth does not matter, perception is the reality.

As a person that have been in this institution called marriage for over 15years, here is my candid advice....

Value character above beauty. Beauty fades.
Character doesn't.

Any man that wishes to go far needs a stable home, and most times, it's the woman that guarantees this.

The Good Book says,
It is better to live in a corner of the housetop [on the flat roof, exposed to the weather]
Than in a house shared with a quarrelsome (contentious) woman.


You should review your expectations on the subject matter that concerns the beauty of your lady.

The thing is this.....If she meets up to 70% of what you want, you have struck gold.

Let me reveal a little secret. You train yourself to love someone. It's an action. It's something you do every day and voila...you are in love

While you are at it.....build on your communication. Nothing beats communication in building a home.

Nawaoooo

I guess u av seen her natural side that's why.most women are ugly in their natural face na makeup day help them.

I no even know wetin 2 talk! I'm only trying to imagine that change u spoke about.
Na God go settle you.

OP...

In your words, "she's a perfect definition of a wife material, and she meets 70% of your requirement as an ideal wife"

So you want to bypass the above for looks??

Looks that will definitely fade in the next couple of years... That's what you're prioritizing over 70% ideal wife material?

Tis well o...

Well...

The decision of whom to spend the rest of your life with is not something you should be lackadaisical about, just pray about...

Now I know why many of you end up miserable in life.

When it comes to choosing who to marry, you must learn to be contented and celebrate your partners physical look in as much you have decided to settle with her.

Even after marriage, regardless of how beautiful she is, you will meet myriads of people far beautiful than her, you will see the ugly part of your partner.

Mind you, we don't always look beautiful. There are times we are caught unfresh.

I think you need to work on your contentment first, then you can decide if you can settle for her.

Even if you marry in quote ' The most beautiful lady in the world' she may loose her beautiful during pregnancy, she can suddenly break out after child birth and become plus size, she might develop big stomach, and loose that beauty, what will you do then?


One major ingredient for sustainable marriage is first contentment to the person you choose.

NOBODY has it all.

If after this, you ARE still not proud of her look, let her go, it means somebody else deserve her instead of you. It does not make you a bad person at all, it only mean she deserve better..

What else do you want, this just means you aren't ready to be committed to this said lady because am sorry this doesn't look like an excuse to me

How the hell does skin colour matter to pple?

Weda dark or light, let's jst love each other.

So u are saying she be agama lizard?
Okay

MaXiK:
Good day Nairalanders!!

Please I need your advice. My current girlfriend has all the good characters that perfectly defines a wife material plus she's a scholar and also a virgin (not particularly concerned about this anyway but to evince how disciplined she is) but sometimes she will look attractive to me and other times she will appear unattractive and I won't feel attracted to her at all. To clarify things, this changes has nothing to do with her dress sense neither my beholding senses but real changes in her facial appearance and allurement.

To be frank and sincere, she is just greatly above average in attractiveness but she's not stable in her look, she falls far below average occasionally. Also we're both dark in complexion and I will prefer my children to be lighter than I am, if not fair.

I have been trying to look beyond her look by focusing on other quality attributes she possess but the issue about her irregular look keep on fluctuating my feelings for her.

The crux of it is that I'm in my early thirties I need serious relationship; someone to build future with and finally get married to but here I am with someone that meet up with more than seventy percent of my requirements in my ideal wife but with unstable look that is threatening my feelings for her.

I am concerned about this because of some issues we consider trivial are still crashing marriages these days....

My questions:

How important is look in marriage?
Is it me that is making issue out of trivial matters because this lady is receiving a lot of relationship advances from people far better than I am and she's turning them down to maintain her commitment to our relationship?
Is there any possibility of stability in her look in the future considering that she's still in school?

Your genuine, mature and constructive advice is highly needed.

I will appreciate ones from those who have experienced what I'm currently going through.

Work on yourself because if you enter marriage with this mindset you'll get out of it in less than 2 years.... Imagine when you see her taking a shit?? Or when she is in her not so Good day?? Or when she is pregnant.... Focus on what really matters .... Help her grow and work on your fears accepting her both when she is super beautiful and when she looks like a frog!!!
Understand one thing!! The moment you have a reason to love, you will have five reasons not to..... So love her without thinking about why you love her.... Just know that you do.... Leaving out why is the best advice I have.... That way she will remain forever young when you look at her and just feel the warmth of loving the woman who adds to your genuine happiness

Jeremani:
So u are saying she be agama lizard?
Okay

No na chameleon

MaXiK:
Good day Nairalanders!!

Please I need your advice. My current girlfriend has all the good characters that perfectly defines a wife material plus she's a scholar and also a virgin (not particularly concerned about this anyway but to evince how disciplined she is) but sometimes she will look attractive to me and other times she will appear unattractive and I won't feel attracted to her at all. To clarify things, this changes has nothing to do with her dress sense neither my beholding senses but real changes in her facial appearance and allurement.

To be frank and sincere, she is just greatly above average in attractiveness but she's not stable in her look, she falls far below average occasionally. Also we're both dark in complexion and I will prefer my children to be lighter than I am, if not fair.

I have been trying to look beyond her look by focusing on other quality attributes she possess but the issue about her irregular look keep on fluctuating my feelings for her.

The crux of it is that I'm in my early thirties I need serious relationship; someone to build future with and finally get married to but here I am with someone that meet up with more than seventy percent of my requirements in my ideal wife but with unstable look that is threatening my feelings for her.

I am concerned about this because of some issues we consider trivial are still crashing marriages these days....

My questions:

How important is look in marriage?
Is it me that is making issue out of trivial matters because this lady is receiving a lot of relationship advances from people far better than I am and she's turning them down to maintain her commitment to our relationship?
Is there any possibility of stability in her look in the future considering that she's still in school?

Your genuine, mature and constructive advice is highly needed.

I will appreciate ones from those who have experienced what I'm currently going through.

pictures of the two looks so that we can see and advice you better

Lol, unstable look.
Abeg, no need to waste her time. Let those who want her go for her.

MaXiK:
Good day Nairalanders!!

Please I need your advice. My current girlfriend has all the good characters that perfectly defines a wife material...

but she's not stable in her look, she falls far below average occasionally. Also we're both dark in complexion and I will prefer my children to be lighter than I am, if not fair.

...here I am with someone that meet up with more than seventy percent of my requirements in my ideal wife but with unstable look that is threatening my feelings for her.

Fair girls don't like fish-brained black boys who are ugly.

Just break up with your girlfriend. It's not too late for her to find a man that has sense.

1. I've observed that ladies that are average or below average in looks tend to be of higher mean in virtues like faithfulness, loyalty, commitment, obedience, submissiveness in comparison to their counterparts. And these virtues serves as veneer to complement their looks.

2. Since her looks is unstable, meaning that there are sometimes when you're really attracted to her, then, ensure that you call her to notice so that she can maintain the looks that makes you get attracted to her.

3. You are simply expressing an evolutionary behavior in men and it's so funny. Yeah, men want beautiful women so that the beauty will eventually be passed to their offsprings and into future generation. Because beauty symbolizes good health and quality genes that can possibly survive and reproduce. So, your desires are in line with nature.

4. Understand: many beautiful women lack the qualities being possessed by your spouse. So, if you are interested in looks, have it in mind that you will expecting a woman who deem her beauty as virtue and will struggle to be more of a virtuous woman because she will always feel her beauty deserves a constant applause.

Your spouse can maintain her virtuousness to a higher degree than the former because she knows that you've chances with other women, ergo, will do whatever thing to keep you attached.

5. The best for you is to cultivate these virtuous qualities in a woman with good looks, however, this is a task (almost) impossible because attractive men and women tend to be more narcissistic. Or, you wait for a beautiful woman who got both. But in this era, it is (almost) impossible to find a beautiful woman that's virtuous! The only time you can as well find such kind of women are during their epiphany phase, but by this time, why buy the cow that was once milked free? Or, a pretentious beautiful woman wearing the linens of virtue?

6. If you can help your spouse cultivate her looks fine. If you can't, go for the beautiful ones you desire. But better a woman that choose you above other men because only then you can enjoy the relationship while it last. Rather than you choosing her. For the former, she will be the one trying to ensure that the relationship holds the most. While for the later, the burden of the longevity of the relationship falls upon you greatly.

7. By and large, your peace of mind is of paramountcy, go for what will give you peace and be aware of the left, right and inconspicuous consequences.

Take care.

Godada:
Like you rightly said: truth does not matter, perception is the reality.

As a person that have been in this institution called marriage for over 15years, here is my candid advice....

Value character above beauty. Beauty fades.
Character doesn't.

Any man that wishes to go far needs a stable home, and most times, it's the woman that guarantees this.

The Good Book says,
It is better to live in a corner of the housetop [on the flat roof, exposed to the weather]
Than in a house shared with a quarrelsome (contentious) woman.


You should review your expectations on the subject matter that concerns the beauty of your lady.

The thing is this.....If she meets up to 70% of what you want, you have struck gold.

Let me reveal a little secret. You train yourself to love someone. It's an action. It's something you do every day and voila...you are in love

While you are at it.....build on your communication. Nothing beats communication in building a home.

I must confess this has 100% settled this issued for me sir. I wanted raw truth from experience and this I have gotten in the most basic and comprehensible manner.

Thank you so much for taking your time to break this down to me sir, may God in his infinite mercy keep on blessing and upholding your home.

Favfables:
OP...

In your words, "she's a perfect definition of a wife material, and she meets 70% of your requirement as an ideal wife"

So you want to bypass the above for looks??

Looks that will definitely fade in the next couple of years... That's what you're prioritizing over 70% ideal wife material?

Tis well o...

Well...

The decision of whom to spend the rest of your life with is not something you should be lackadaisical about, just pray about...

Much thanks for you and to all Nairalanders that have rendered their piece of advice. May God bless you and yours. I have chosen values over mere look and I will fervently seek God's will towards the relationship as you've advised.

MaXiK:


Lol.
Like one scholar rightly opined truth does not matter, perception is the reality, that's the way you perceived the whole matter. My brother, issues of this gravity is more than you are seeing it, it's better for me to seek advice now and get it right than....

Your opinion is very appreciated, I will look into some iotas of sad truth in your submission.

Thank you for giving me some of your time.

Abegi!

All this grammar to hide the reality, which is: you will make this complaint again after marriage and make her suffer.

Just free the poor girl.