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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Thanks, post deleted (5042 Views)
post deleted / Relationship Problem( What Should I Do) Post deleted. / Post Deleted (2) (3) (4)
Thanks, post deleted by Jerri(f): 3:37pm On Jun 04, 2011 |
Thanks to everyone who made out time to read my post and reply to it! I honestly appreciate all of your input. And to all the matured responders, thanks so much, greatly appreciated. I decided to remove the original post this morning. I will one day return with an update whether good or bad. Thank you once again and y'all have an awesome week! |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by 190: 3:38pm On Jun 04, 2011 |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by Jerri(f): 3:43pm On Jun 04, 2011 |
. |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by Jerri(f): 3:44pm On Jun 04, 2011 |
190: why? |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by Dyt(f): 4:08pm On Jun 04, 2011 |
Ur sis doesnt want u both 2geda? |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by Jerri(f): 4:16pm On Jun 04, 2011 |
Dyt: I dont think she does by her actions, shes not coming out directly bt finding faults with everything Omolola1:. I dunno, |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by Omolola1(f): 4:18pm On Jun 04, 2011 |
I think i do |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by Omolola1(f): 4:41pm On Jun 04, 2011 |
Jerri damn ur sista! she is maried,so wat's hr stress?bsides d guy is jxt an ex 2 her Infact,ds isnt even an issue! |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by coogar: 4:51pm On Jun 04, 2011 |
Jerri: if you love yourself and value your family. . . .forget about the guy. never ever take sides with an outsider against your family. granted, your sister has been nasty, jealous and self-centred but she is still family. from what i can gather, your sister still likes this bloke and if you marry him. . . .can you trust the 2 of them not to rekindle their past on your matrimonial bed? are you aware there would be situations when your sister will be visiting and you will be far away from home to monitor what she and this bloke do behind you? do you seriously want to risk such drama every now and then or would you ban your sister permanently from entering your house? dump the bloke now! |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by Odunnu: 5:08pm On Jun 04, 2011 |
You said it better than I would have. |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by Jerri(f): 5:43pm On Jun 04, 2011 |
Thanks ladies, I truly appreciate your input. I know there will be a lot of bad blood flowing even if it works out or not. But like you rightly said, family and values for myself matters a lot. Gee, life can be unfair sometimes but I trust in God. Quite sad that I kept this bottled up so this long, |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by iice(f): 8:56am On Jun 05, 2011 |
Una dey try. All these siblings sharing partners is too much for me, stress level and gross level. |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by obowunmi(m): 9:03am On Jun 05, 2011 |
He shagged your sister, he only plans to just shag you and move on. No love here. A good man doesn't jump on his ex sister. You choose. Find your own man. |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by ojenew: 9:18am On Jun 05, 2011 |
I don't know why you wanna marry someone that had slept with your sister, we are Africans. Please don't do it. It will be shame on your family if the word gets out. and one question, why do u think you love this guy? Don't you think this is an art of desperation? Your younger sister is married and you don't want to be left behind. The guy that left your memory for years can always leave anytime. I can't see true feelings here. |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by Rhino5dm: 9:24am On Jun 05, 2011 |
Una too dey mumu tu much! Haba are you that cheap or just trying to be stuupid? You should drop him the moment you notice anything of that nature. Oya! Wait until when you hear. . ."your sister is even tighter than you and knows how to suck me better", then your coconut head will become active. Go search for your 'own' man and stop feasting on your sisiter's left over. Shiooor! This how a friend of mine slept with entire family in the name of wanting to marry. |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by Nobody: 9:27am On Jun 05, 2011 |
Please Summary someone, am too lazy to read this now, some Chinese food just put me in a lazy form this afternoon, summary please someone |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by Nobody: 10:17am On Jun 05, 2011 |
odiaero:body dey catch u sha |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by namski(m): 10:19am On Jun 05, 2011 |
nothing to say to you, just follow your heart. |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by olorilaide(f): 10:37am On Jun 05, 2011 |
you would be surprised if you marry this guy and you find him fucking ur sis one day . so the guy was asking you out 4 so long, that means he was once interested in you, and then you faded away and he went down with the next on the queue . am sure when ur sis asked about his relationship with him, he must have said you were the one toasting him then . my candid advice is that you should dumb him fast and look for a fresh dude. guess you are still in town,ure not too old to go for "just anything" that comes your way |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by violent(m): 10:41am On Jun 05, 2011 |
din' someone tell you it's a sick thing going out with your sister's ex? The dude would feel awesome, sure! he's had both sisters. . .but you, yes you!--how would you feel bringing him home to dinner with your pa and ma ?. . . not minding the fact that yo sister knows exactly how big his díck is and the things that make him go "oooh, ahhhh, yes baby yes baby" in bed get yo head together mate, at last count, there are 6.5 billion boys in the world, must it be this one?. . .hell i'd wager their are better guys on NL than the ársehole you're currently sleeping with! |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by Blazay(m): 11:13am On Jun 05, 2011 |
Oh gal! That is a Nigerian man for you o! To phock as many poohsies as possible. No discrimination. Sister o! Mother o! Aunty o! Daughter o! Amazing he waited to 'kpansh' you first before the almighty confession. No discrimination with this poohsie matter! O gal forget the dude. No be am atol atol! Like a wise poster wrote above. . . .NEVER FIGHT A FAMILY MEMBER OVER A MAN! Neither of you had any control over the situation but the dude. . . As for the need to get married. The best things in life come when you are not looking. Take your mind out of the 'marriage' issue and enjoy your life. There is no time limit to achieving happiness. |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by paraphase(m): 11:16am On Jun 05, 2011 |
x |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by jmaine: 11:16am On Jun 05, 2011 |
I understand why people are advising you to do away with your man since he dated your sister before . . . And they are all correct though not a certainty anywhere . . . Why don't you give him a chance considering the fact that he owned up his dealings with your sis to you which is a courageous and commendable thing few men dare attempt . .if he wanted to have you as a quest . .they why spill something that could mar that adventure . . , . The respect and love he had for you made him do that and am sure he was scared of the outcome, but he still came clean . . . You need to follow your heart and for once appreciate the fact that he was bold enough to face you with the truth . Guess your sister is just mad that she preferred him than her present hubby and she can't just stomach the fact that you are about to get the best . . . If she can't come clean on the guy, like the guy did then the problem lies with your sister and not the guy cos naturally it should be the other way round . . And my last parting . . .She is your junior sister and the best you can do for yourself is sit her down and let her talk to you about it . . . And Please watch out for malicious lies |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by IykeD(m): 11:18am On Jun 05, 2011 |
violent: lol You must be kidding, aren't u? @OP, from your post, you played so hard to get initially and then lost him so i guess you should move on, especially now that he's had your sister. I know it's not easy but in life, we win some, we lose some. All da best! |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by Nobody: 11:45am On Jun 05, 2011 |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by blacklion(m): 11:58am On Jun 05, 2011 |
@ OP You will not be the first nor the last woman to date or marry a guy who previously dated her sister, cousin, aunt etc. In fact, its not as uncommon as some people are trying to pretend here. Some men have married women that previously dated their brother or uncle. It is true that your situation is really not ideal and most families would not like for a man to date one sister and then marry another. But there is an exception to every rule. At the end of the day, its you and this man who will share a bedroom/life together for the next 50 years plus. The main issue you need to address is your sister's lingering feelings for the guy. Are you certain that he's moved on from your sister? Do you trust that he will not betray you in future with your sister if the opportunity presents? What do your parents/family have to say about this situation? Disclose fully to them and hear them out. Bottomline - the decision is yours. Pls don't let all the childish rants and petty insults put you off. As for those going eew, gross etc here, pls keep in mind that inheritance of a late brother's wife or wives was once accepted as part and parcel of our African culture. And in the olden days before IVF and other modern reproductive technology was available, an infertile or impotent man would ask his male relative to help impregnate his wife. So its not necessarily an abomination by African culture to have sex with a woman or man who previously had sex with your brother or sister. |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by Winnerslfc(m): 12:43pm On Jun 05, 2011 |
@posta, one thing is certain and dats d fact dat u alredy kno wat 2 do. What ever decision u may take is alredy wat u wanted. Howeva, i wil stil advise u. If dis was an election, i tink "dump the dude" wud av won. But its dangerous to take such a rash action. U prayd 4 tru luv and God availd a man whom u luvd. So, weda he had don wat wit ur sista shouldnt be an issue. The guy desav u bak sins he was courageous enof to tel u the truth as regads his past afair wit ur sista. Every woman is afta corageous and honest guyz and i tink he is. Lets luk at it dis way: ur sista is angry bcuz he told u d truth, ok, what if he neva mentiond it, wud u av known? So u see wat i mean. som folks here may call a desperate gurl but hey! Sweet heart, you ar gettin no younger. Did i hear som1 sayin u ar not too old either? Yes u ar not dear. . . But i guess u ar already above 25 and hmm! U know what it means. However, i must say i like ur mode of expresion and u wil make a gud wife. GOOD LUCK. |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by frank317: 1:44pm On Jun 05, 2011 |
how serious do u think this dude is, i mean do u think he is willing to go that far with you. what does he really want from u, a relationship? i wouldnt advice u to dump the guy just because he once slept with ur sister. people sleep with people before they finnaly settle down. if u think the guy really loves u, please dont let him go for such a silly excuse. or are u expecting to marry a virgin. the next man would have probably slept with some other girl, will u leave him if u meet the girl. only be sure that ur sister is his past. to me, the fact that it is ur sister does not matter, it could be any girl, and that does not change anything. |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by Akainzo(m): 1:48pm On Jun 05, 2011 |
jmaine: @jmaine, thanks for the sense of maturity. @OP, the world doesn't end because someone you love once had a tryst with a relative or a close friend. Yes it is hard to stomach and could be an emotional drain, but once you accept that your love for him is greater, things can only lead to more happiness. Nothing says the two of them would get back together again and nothing says they wouldn't, but all the same he loves you enough to open up to you, and that can only be because he truly and genuinely loves you. The choice is yours but make it sensibly. |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by Tiana155(f): 4:24pm On Jun 05, 2011 |
Think about FAMILY VALUE. He has slept with your sister is a lifetime-stigma, that will always be at the back of your mind whelther you like it or not, even though you said you stil love him. And if you want to go ahead with him just because you are in a desperate need to have a man in your life. FAMILY VALUE is very important. Dont let your man cause pain between you and your sister, find a way to make peace with your sister and listen to her. Goodluck. |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by Nobody: 4:42pm On Jun 05, 2011 |
Well the situation is not ideal but it isn't the worst scenario. The guy came clean and even told ur sister that's got to count for something. The rest is up to you and pls cancel that idea that anytime he sees ur sis they will look for the nearest bed and get at it. Were that to be the case then they are already at it. |
Re: Thanks, post deleted by micklplus(m): 4:49pm On Jun 05, 2011 |
Op, How sure are you that, ur boyfy and your sister had sex just once?? Are you sure they are still not seeing? For a moment, take yourself out of the issue and view the whole thing as if you are a third party!!! His mistake was that; He slept with ur sister ( how many times? We don't know!!!!) Given that, he once professed love to you but, he had d gut to go straff the sister of the. ame woman he claimed to love. U have got to be careful!!!! Slow down and don't get desperate. I know a game when I see one! This is obviously a game and you would do better not to be caught in it. If you are not a shy type, feel free to mail me here; micklplus@yahoo.com Mind you, I am happily married so, I aint trying to toast you. Cheers |
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