Why marry at 23, whether you like it or not you body still needs freedom from the years you've been using to learn from primary to university even after your masters
Enjoying the moment would have helped you in your marriage life, like you've said after the divorce you will have time for your self...
Moral be say no dey rush into marriage take your time...

Pls am new in Awka
Where do people change dollar to naira in Awka?

Is there any special place where Hausa people stay and change money like those at Lagos airports or Sabo in Ibadan?

Pls advise a brother before dollar crash further make I quickly change am.


Also please let me know where dollar is changed in Enugu coal city

Grandmeister:

This is why Nigerian women will perpetually continue in their mistakes. The total lack of owning up to their responsibilities and mistakes! You want me to believe that a woman who lost multiple jobs and didn't know why she lost them is without blame?? Really?? A woman who refused to do her husband's laundry even when he reimbursed her 25% of the money she used in purchasing the machine is without blame?

A Wife is not suppose to do her Husband's laundry,and even his underwear. Children's own is fine,and other responsibilities like cleaning and Cooking.

The Man too is Mad!!Just like his Wife.
How Woman go they wash my Boxers and singlet and stockings...
The guy na Obote

youngest85:

Is that the yeye man on your dp?

The OP is a man not a woman. His name is Obembe Taiwo

holocron:
I put it to you that this is a tissue of lies and fabrication. OP sounds like an ingrate. You are serving/working for your family and instead of appreciating the results of your good works, you are grumbling, complaining and whining. Your husband struggles to do his part in upkeeping the family, you do not appreciate his role but you complain of your own role. You purposely abandoned your family and children for a fake independence and shallow ambitions and now you are regretting. You lost your cherished family for phantom degrees, career and independence. What shall it profit a man to gain the whole world and then lose his soul?

No matter what u do for women they will still complain. Nothing is ever enough, so why go the extra miles when all she will ever say is ‘what did u do for me’

kayusely70:
That's a tough one! I give kudos to you for your doggedness and sense of purpose! You shall find love and happiness again!

how do you know she is not lieing

UjuJoan2:


Refused to do her husband’s laundry? Like her husband is an invalid?

Did you not hear her say she had five kids and no help? And she had to do everything manually?

I bet no man can stand such volume of house work. So you guys hid behind ‘working to provide’ when in truth you are just not able to provide any form of support to your spouses. Guess what, women still hold down jobs and still do house chores and no husband ‘does their laundry’

Nigerian men are really annoying.

Because she had no say in the number of kids she bore? You see why I say you women detest owning up to responsibilities! In this case she was mostly a stay at home wife! The few times she got a job she couldn't keep it but cunningly said "I don't know why I lost the job"....any logical person will realise that such a person never admits to doing wrong. So a man providing for his family should come back in the evening to do house chores? For a house wife, how many hours does it take to prepare her kids and cook? She still has majority of the day to her fvcking self!

Charity4real:



Exactly my thought. You could have waited for the kids to advance more before getting back to your career. You must have nagged this man to the extreme for him to take such action. Probably you allowed bad advisers to deceive you out of your marriage.

I am in the same situation now; taking care of my children and giving my husband time to stand well here, but I am just taking my cool, even when my friends are working and grabbing there dollars daily, I am not moved because at the appointed time, everything will fall into places.

God bless you real good.

Marriage is not easy for both husband and wife, forfeiting your personal visions, ambition and dreams to serve others is a great sacrifice which will payoff one day only if we can wait for it.

holocron:
I put it to you that this is a tissue of lies and fabrication. OP sounds like an ingrate. You are serving/working for your family and instead of appreciating the results of your good works, you are grumbling, complaining and whining. Your husband struggles to do his part in upkeeping the family, you do not appreciate his role but you complain of your own role. You purposely abandoned your family and children for a fake independence and shallow ambitions and now you are regretting. You lost your cherished family for phantom degrees, career and independence. What shall it profit a man to gain the whole world and then lose his soul?

How dare you accuse her of lying?
It's either you're the woman's wicked husband or you're a yabaleft runaway, because you obviously have a mental problem to just invalidate someone's life story without knowing anything about them.

Grandmeister:

Men do too..they forego that fancy wrist watch or shoe to pay their daughter's school fees. Do you think the husband wasn't sacrificing certain comforts to cater for the family? Remember she never complained that he didn't provide, remember that very important part. She didn't also say he was cheating. But somehow she still managed to make him look like the bad guy in this story.

We don't have the husband's side so I was relating to her side of the story talking about how women forget themselves too many times.
I wasn't implying that husbands don't and it doesn't mean that I condemn the husband in the story.

DrFunmisticGlow:
you don't want to understand and lack empathy, so there's no point with you

Au contraire. I am the most empathic person you will ever come across BUT I detest manipulative people! I detest those who push their faults or fvck ups to others. Own your shyt! If you mess up and own up you'll have more respect because it takes courage to say "I was wrong". I highlighted some glaring faults from the Op narrative and yet you ended up saying this?

snoopz:
Why marry at 23, whether you like it or not you body still needs freedom from the years you've been using to learn from primary to university even after your masters
Enjoying the moment would have helped you in your marriage life, like you've said after the divorce you will have time for your self...
Moral be say no dey rush into marriage take your time...

Yea, she complained cox she now see girls in her age n how they r hot n beautiful. She wants the same sadly she is not hot anymore

Hathor5:


We don't have the husband's side so I was relating to her side of the story talking about how women forget themselves too many times.
I wasn't implying that husbands don't and it doesn't mean that I condemn the husband in the story.

OK then. Atleast someone understands my point.

Yes, your issue is worrisome. firstly, your husband by now must have realized the vacuum your absence created in his life.so be open to reconciliation. Also, leaving five children behind is suicidal because their upbringing in somebody's hand will not augur well for you.You might not make. it now as expected but these children can later wipe your tears and make you a fulfilled mother.One thing is obvious, sit with your spouse to help address your challenges that's if you are willing to go back.Finally, be spiritual to claim back your home,talk less about your failed marriage and assume you only have misunderstanding.Do not share your issue with feminist because all you will hear is slavery, slavery etcGod will visit your issue in Jesus name.

Which is why you need to work on yourself while single. Develop every area of your life and find a purpose. So when marriage meets you, it doesn't alter your life. Sometimes we jump into marriage just too early and the marriage then defines us. Always get a job first or have a business doing before you get married. Man or woman.

I don't believe this and is a lies, some can be true but most is a false. And mind you, no relationship is perfect. Even, if you married another also, it possible to worse than previous one and not because both are not love you but is request extra patience and prayer because nothing past prayer. Even your husband have many things to say against you, likewise what you say against him... I am not comment to against you but I feel for your children because they can never happy with you.

So, to me. I don't believe impossible but I believe all things are possible. You can still settle with your husband and move to his house as your husband and continue your life with him before it will late. If you said, you are happy because you leave his house, is a lie. But you have grace and take a step today to settle this matter and move back to him before Christmas � and it possible if you take the action today with prayer. What I want from you right now is to settle with him please and please ���

Believe Ladies only side of story at your own peril..

Grandmeister:

OK then. Atleast someone understands my point.

kramer:
I suppose this is a lesson to all the women who think they can marry a man who brings in all the money and expect to do nothing.

God bless you

Grandmeister:

Because she had no say in the number of kids she bore? You see why I say you women detest owning up to responsibilities! In this case she was mostly a stay at home wife! The few times she got a job she couldn't keep it but cunningly said "I don't know why I lost the job"....any logical person will realise that such a person never admits to doing wrong. So a man providing for his family should come back in the evening to do house chores? For a house wife, how many hours does it take to prepare her kids and cook? She still has majority of the day to her fvcking self!

I see you are one of them and trying to make you see reason is a complete waste of time.

Didn’t she say she’s now better off? That’s all that matters at the end of the day.

Imustnottalk:
If you ain't ripe or mature for marriage please don't think of it . Young ladies between the age of 18 -25 that rush into marriage are the ones that get divorce mostly

That's why it's good to be patient and get to at least ur peak of carreer before looking for someone at ur own path or standard to marry then....

Cos early marriage delay and destroy most careers without doubt.

TuFab:


How dare you accuse her of lying?
It's either you're the woman's wicked husband or you're a yabaleft runaway, because you obviously have a mental problem to just invalidate someone's life story without knowing anything about them.

Stop all this emotional bullshits
How on hell will you validate someone's story without knowing the person...do you know the man?, The kind of jobs he does he might be a banker for fvck sake and do you think it is easy to make money legitly go and ask your dad he will explain better or perhaps when you start making you will understand.
This man did the primary duty of a REAL MAN and that is financial security and he was able to provide for a liability who couldn't keep 4 month job and for fvck sake even a maid you pay 25k a month will do a better job without grumbling...have this woman ever appreciated her husband... Do you think it easy to be a head of a family ( the smallest unit of the society) where I get blamed for the silliest sh!t or is it because men don't talk too...Go home and ask your dad he will explain better to you.

Madam please don't be annoyed your husband is negligent but you too contributed to it,no Africa man will lodge complaint and saying the one opposing him.
Again as a Christian I don't judge base on what I heard about somebody without confirmation

Hathor5:


Did I get it wrong or you? I thought the husband kicked her out.

Which man will kick a hardworking lady out? Someone taking care of him and his five kids! Lol. The story get as e be. I never marry and I am currently with a lady I have never wanted to end up with, but I can't let her go cos the babe is everything a lazy person like me (house chores wise) desires. I will rather make it work with her than lose her. Madam need to tell us more about how a man chased you out after five kids.

So you see being a full time house wife as doing nothing?

Most of you cannot survive living your bachelor life alone without a woman by your side to cook, clean and wash your dirty smelling clothes and boxers but you dare call it nothing when you have someone who does that round the clock all day everyday for the rest of their lives for you.

What do you African men really want? You're only bold enough to do and say rubbish when you're married to your African women but when married to your white great grand mothers you become errand boys, doing everything you swore your African redpilled egoistic self would never do.

You want the traditional African setting only when it favours you. You want a wife who'd split bills with you. Someone who'd also work 9 - 5 like you but still come back to wash, clean, babysit and fvck you as if body na firewood while refusing to also help in house chores.

Keep fooling yourselves. Thank God women are getting wiser now.

kramer:
I suppose this is a lesson to all the women who think they can marry a man who brings in all the money and expect to do nothing.

Vision101:
The op's write up and most comments mainly align to the position of a woman. This also happens to men. Some men spend all their lives and energy thinking and providing for their families.

He leaves so early and returns very late. Children are in good schools, madam looks gorgeous. The home is comfortable but he hardly stays at home. The guy man hardly upgrade his dress except that detected by his work rules.

His life is pressure and stress. The spouse might still be nagging. Is this the reason why there are more widows than widowers?

I feel your pain and idea I guess it's for both parties both men and women need to be on of a kind to rub minds together on how to win d "death do us apart race"

Mercychen:


Eeh.. leave am.
*Mark am for am like that" lol.. chai! Nairalanders!

Don't be too negative in your approach, that's all we want.

Balanced and fair views is what we want..

Do not mind the guy, typing rubbish without reading, Nairaland boys will always throw blames on women and turn the situation in a way that will make the woman feel bad.
A man kicked a woman out of his house , you are there talking rubbish.




















uote author=Hathor5 post=107483501]

Did I get it wrong or you? I thought the husband kicked her out. [/quote]

efficiencie:


There is one question if unanswered will result in you learning absolutely nothing and the question is: What was your reason for getting into a marriage with a man who, by your admission, does not appreciate your efforts, abuses you and blame you for all of his misfortune?

Yes I guess that's the disadvantage of marrying so early because by then she dosnt really know what she needed in a man rather than love and sex ... But now that she had found herself and matured enough to understand how she wants her man her dreams and her home , that's y all dis issues her arising ...
So if does young girls rush into marriage they will still rush out because ita a university of no convocation..

DrFunmisticGlow:
outsource the work of a housewife and find out

By outsource, you mean hire a maid to do the job instead? Why have wife then?

Please reread the previous comment which you pretended to respond to so as to better understand what the discussion is about.

Hathor5:


Did I get it wrong or you? I thought the husband kicked her out.

And you believe she is telling the truth? Why not ask her what led to his kicking her out suddenly after wooing her, marrying and kicking her into his life. Divorce looks fanciful to ladies, but they get wiser afterwards. The unconfessed regrets in that piece is deep and profound.