I have been talking to this divorced guy for about 6months. Up till now he has not expressed to me how he feels or what he thinks of our relationship. We both have a sense of humor and often joke about stuff, but I feel its time that I know how he feels. What makes this is even harder is that this is a long distance relationship so we mostly talk on the phone. I am thinking of calling him and telling him that we need to seriously talk about "us" and where how relationship is heading to. I dont want to scare him off by being too direct but at the sametime I will like to marry sometime in the future and there is no need wasting my time on somebody that does not see that in his future. Any advice on how I should handle this?

hmmm

has he hinted at wanting to go out with you?
has he asked you out?

has he made future plans that involve you?

if he hasn't done any of these, i'm sorry he may not be planning on having a serious relationship with you.
if he has, then he may very well be. Just watch for the signs, but whatever you do, DON'T TELL HIM YOU WANT TO DISCUSS THE STATUS OF THE RELATIONSHIP!!! This tends to scare men away, as it makes you appear too serious and it makes them feel trapped. You can even talk about other men and see how he reacts and if he gets jealous

only 6 months and u r already thinking of commitment. Na wao. Tell him and see how soon he will fly out of the window and all u will get is red face and tears - careful ok?

i wouldnt advise you to ask him where the relationship is headin to cuz if he has not asked u out he might just see u as a friend.so keep ur feelings in check continue to see him as ur friend and if he does nt make any attempt to ask you out that means u have to look else where. good luck

@ poster,
Tell him what is on your mind and set your mind free, it's better you let him go ,if he doesn't have better thing to offer,dont you think is waisting of time ,energy and more important valuable gift from God hanging out with a guy that doesn't feel the way you do ? I dont see reason in waisting time in relationship that doesn't worth it, somebody like me right from the scratch i dont go for hopeless relationship .
My dear, you need to be very sensitive with him ,try to read his mind and be smart ,

Well I went ahead and called the guy, before I read the above replies. I told him about how I felt about the relationship. And it is apparent that he is not sure of what he wants, which I guess its understandable, but I can't be drag in into other people's indisiciveness. I felt that after 6months of going out out, a guy should have an idea of whether he likes the girl or not. I opened up about how I felt and since we are not on the same page, it looks like we are just going to be friends. This is not what I would want, but I can't be with a guy who is not sure of what he wants, because that means the girl will be in a limbo relationship. I rather have my options open and not be tied down in a relationship that might not go anywhere.

Cut the guy some slack, the guy just got out of a marriage, that could be a bad divorce, besides, if he is in a western world, where you are, after a divorce, you know quiet well that they guy would have lost one or 2 things, if he is a guy that got it going on, half of all he owns would have gone with the woman, so jut try to understand, it will take more than 6 months to get himself together, if you truely love this guy, give him time, be there for him, and show that you truely care, like some of the ladies has said, tell a man you wanna marry, and we look for the next exit, however, you cant blame the men, sometimes, it is cos of what the man has seen happened, especially for men in da western world, it is not that easy,
Good luck sista and listen to your heart

I understand that divorce men might be hesitant to jump into a relationship maybe due to past experience, but if he does decide then it means that he has taught about what he is getting himself into. No one should go into a relationship if they are not ready esp if they have not fully recovered from previous relattionship. FYI, I was not asking him if he will marry me, I am not looking for someone to promise me marriage, i just wanted to know if he will ever remarry in the future. It does not necessarily have to be me, beside I can't marry a guy just after 6 months of dating. The guy am talking about was really understanding of what I was saying but he made it clear that he just wasn't sure or ready to give me an answer. I was previously in a 3yr relationship and the guy decided withour any warning to end it. This happened a long time ago but it has taught me a real hard lesson. I am glad that we had the conversation because we were being honest to each other. I know exactly what I want, but he is not sure of what he wants, and i made the decision to move on, who knows, maybe this will give him time to think about what he wants. I am sure that we will still be friends because he is a great guy.

I just have the feelings that the guy knows what he wants, and you could be what he wants, however, he might just be scared, give him time, be there for him, and i am sure with time, and with your support he might be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, cos if he is much of a great guy as you've said, then, dont lose the great guy,

Chiomao: Well I went ahead and called the guy, before I read the above replies. I told him about how I felt about the relationship. And it is apparent that he is not sure of what he wants, which I guess its understandable, but I can't be drag in into other people's indisiciveness. I felt that after 6months of going out out, a guy should have an idea of whether he likes the girl or not. I opened up about how I felt and since we are not on the same page, it looks like we are just going to be friends. This is not what I would want, but I can't be with a guy who is not sure of what he wants, because that means the girl will be in a limbo relationship. I rather have my options open and not be tied down in a relationship that might not go anywhere.

Women and marriage na wao.
I blame the society sha.