I have been married to my wife for 10years now. My 1st child (7 years) has some health challenge. My daughter's challenge was diagnosed at age 3. Same year, I came back from work to see my child having crisis. I asked my wife why she didn't take my DD to the hospital. She responded, "no more hospital in this house". I tried calling a friend to drive me an my girl to the hospital, she got the phone from me and ended the call. Her words were , " if you are aware what is causing your child's illness, you better let me know ". I kept focused. Got my girl the needed medical help. Next day when I got home, I asked her, she refused answering. I later told the priest that wedded us, who later spoke with her.

In 2020, I got a call from a church in Port Harcourt, that someone brought my picture to the pastor. That I am the evil man causing my wife's and daughter's illness. The person that took my picture is my wife's brother. I was mad! But family and friends helped me to keep calm. A month later, my wife wouldn't UnCloth in my presence. If I entered the room while she is dressing or the bathroom while she is bathing, she will quickly cover up. When I confronted her, she told me it is because she believes my "hands are not clean ". That she was told that I am occultic before she even joined me. That because I am "hot tempere","don't pray certain prayer points ", she believes that I have some dark powers. I did my best to refute her claim in a calm way. But was deeply hurting. I reported her to a Pastor at Mountain of Fire where she now worships. She changed and told the man that she believes I am a child of God.

Just few weeks ago, I picked a paper under our bed where my wife wrote to someone how her brother had a dream in December and was told that I am my wizard causing my child's illness. In that write up, my wife also claimed she had her own revelation that I am in some occultic powers. When I showed her the paper, she tried to cause a scene, but I left her. I only asked, "are all these true?" "Why are you bent on labeling me what I am not?"
Later that day, she came up with lies, that the paper was just some prayer points she was putting down.

Just yesterday, someone called to inform me that he was with a certain owner of prayerhouse when my wife called to tell the woman why she believes I am occultic.

I have tried to ignore her, but I am gradually getting worried. What is she really up to? She doesn't believe in the medical diagnosis for my DD, hence, she won't give the child the necessary medication if I am not home.

How does someone believes that the hubby is occultic, and wants to harm her, yet still tries to initiate s3x with the said husband? When she had a surgery last year, I was the person cooking for her till she could get back on her feet. Why did she not refuse the foods? Finally, who knowingly get married to someone she believes is occultic, then start running to prayer houses for deliverance?

Could it be my wife is mentally sick? Or she is projecting who she is on me?

Your wife goes from one church to another, looking for solutions to problems that are not even there.

Maybe that's the way she was brought up.

Ask GOD to reveal to her through dream.dat ur hands are truely clean.10pm before going to bed,for 3days.

Thread seen.

E go clear for your eyes when one randy pastor go marry your wife. Na so e dey start. If she is tired of the marriage, let her go please!

Your wife has been brainwashed!
She's also paranoid.

This is really deep! It will take a whole lot of effort to be able to convince her to stop going from one prayer house to the other. Those pastors only break homes apart with visions that are not true.
Have a heart to heart talk with your wife to see reasons why you cannot harm your child and for the child to get treatment ASAP.
You and your wife should pray more together too

Beremx:
E go clear for your eyes when one randy pastor go marry your wife. Na so e dey start. If she is tired of the marriage, let her go please!

I intentionally left some details out. But something close to this has happened before. I have tried to let her see how vulnerable she makes herself.

Divorce loading....

worriedhubby:


I intentionally left some details out. But something close to this has happened before. I have tried to let her see how vulnerable she makes herself.

sit her down and ask her if she’s tired of the marriage and hear what she would say. She can’t continue to torment you in the name of calling you an occultist.

This is funny

See wetin I want a God fearing lady don cause.

OP please take your kids to the hospital and ignore your wife abeg

OP @ worriedhubby your case is quite common; your wife is highly ignorant like many of us, some possibly reading this thread and even offering advice

I won’t be surprised if your wife thinks you used sex to charm her and she hopes to break free from you someday lol, or maybe even uses sex to weaken your “occultic powers” as recommended by a friend or sibling

This country na cruise Aswear. Sorry I don’t have advice for curing ignorance, you just have to manage it and reduce its impact on your family

I totally understand you OP, I was in your shoes too but it was my mum that got deceived by a prophetess in cherubim and seraphim church. The prophetess told my mum that I use to eat food from my friends in school and one of my friend was about to give me witch.

Mehn!!!! I see shege for my mama hand. My mum was always monitoring me, even had spies to watch every of my movement in school.

See OP, just pray God clear that ignorance from your wife or if you can't endure, threaten her you want to leave the marriage. Honestly, your peace of mind comes first o.

Also that her so called brother give him a stern warning.

See the way they just they spoil your reputation

set confusion between she and her brother, he is the one planting the seed of Doubt in her heart.
Hire some random persons, give them details of the situation, now this persons will meet your wife at different locations and pose as a pastor who heard from God that her Brother is trying to destroy her marriage by labeling you a cultists, watch her start changing.
This is a mind game, you have to play it smartly

worriedhubby:
How does someone believes that the hubby is occultic, and wants to harm her, yet still tries to initiate s3x with the said husband? When she had a surgery last year, I was the person cooking for her till she could get back on her feet. Why did she not refuse the foods? Finally, who knowingly get married to someone she believes is occultic, then start running to prayer houses for deliverance?

Could it be my wife is mentally sick? Or she is projecting who she is on me?

Well, it is indeed possible that your wife may be struggling with mental illness or her own but since that is not yet an emergency situation, I say you focus more of your attention on making certain the health of your kids are handled abeg.

You never did mention what it was that your kids were diagnosed with nor your wife's education level, and not even whether she has a job or not. These could help us better understand whether na stress or na pure unadulterated ignorance dey do your wife or maybe something else.

My advice is if possible try to engage help from those who are not as ignorant as wife to ensure your kids are given their meds. Take time to care for your own mental. If at any point you wife becomes open to counseling, even of the marital kind, do not hesitate to engage the aide of a mental Health professional this while you also seek marriage counseling if necessary.

mannasseh:
set confusion between she and her brother, he is the one planting the seed of Doubt in her heart.
Hire some random persons, give them details of the situation, now this persons will meet your wife at different locations and pose as a pastor who heard from God that her Brother is trying to destroy her marriage by labeling you a cultists, watch her start changing.
This is a mind game, you have to play it smartly

Oil dey your head.
Better advice

What were the diagnosis of your children's medical challenges?

Oga you have answered the question.
She is mentally unstable.
Why is she still living with an occultist man?
She’s not serious

Foodqueen:
Your wife goes from one church to another, looking for solutions to problems that are not even there.

Maybe that's the way she was brought up.

I'm salt of words.

Op, did you run a thorough background checks on your wife's family before marriage? Is your daughter's condition hereditary? If yes, I suspect your wife is using reverse psychology on you to shift attention and blames from her own side, especially if you're a big catch for her. I might be wrong though, but it's possible.

light099:
Your wife is paranoid, superstitious, naive and vulnerable.
Yet, from another perspective, your first child has suffered strange ailment since age 3.
Your wife too been having health challenges, perhaps after getting married.
Different sources keep pointing to you as been occultic and the cause of the health challenges of your family. All these going on, you keep forming agnostic and avoiding some hot prayer points from your story, which could mean you've something to hide by running away from spiritual atmosphere.

If sincerely you're not directly occultic as alleged, then you might be indirectly involved without your knowing, but if none of these are true, for the sanity of your home and wife, this isn't the time to be forming freethinker or irreligious. Play along with your wife whatever it takes to convince her. Even if it involves taking you for exorcism before her prophets.

Lol! I can only laugh at your line of reasoning.

Where did I mention that I am agnostic? So, running from one fake prohet to another is being spiritual? Off all the fake prophets and prophecies in Nigeria, what has changed?

My wife is healthier than myself if we must compare. The surgery she went for was more or less cosmetic, as she had that growth right from her secondary school. It wasn't hurting her.

Guy, I don't have to detail my life on a faceless forum.

Oga your hand is not clean ,you knew ur wife will read this , and you think you can change her mind set by writing this pretending you are innocent , change you still have time before it's late don't try to harm her , to justify your early response because you Will endup mad in the street be warned lol pls pay me my money I done help ur life

Kobojunkie:
Well, it is indeed possible that your wife may be struggling with mental illness or her own but since that is not yet an emergency situation, I say you focus more of your attention on making certain the health of your kids are handled abeg.

You never did mention what it was that your kids were diagnosed with nor your wife's education level, and not even whether she has a job or not. These could help us better understand whether na stress or na pure unadulterated ignorance dey do your wife or maybe something else.

My advice is if possible try to engage help from those who are not as ignorant as wife to ensure your kids are given their meds. Take time to care for your own mental. If at any point you wife becomes open to counseling, even of the marital kind, do not hesitate to engage the aide of a mental Health professional this while you also seek marriage counseling if necessary.

My daughter is autistic.
My wife is a graduate, and she was working till she went for her surgery last year.

I have engaged the service of a marriage counselor. She preferred meeting with the counselor alone. We only met 2 times as a couple. After that she stopped, telling her friend that the counseling session is a means to get words from her that I will use for divorce.

Whenever I engage someone, she will raise dust and accuse me of bringing in a 3rd party, especially if the person is trying to make her logical. Must times when she makes false accusations, she would mandate that the person shouldn't tell me.

Someone confided that my wife could be doing some diabolical stuffs against me, but since it is not working on me, she feels I am occultic. Her extended family, as I later discovered after marriage, is big on such activities.

Jman06:
Op, did you run a thorough background checks on your wife's family before marriage? Is your daughter's condition hereditary? If yes, I suspect your wife is using reverse psychology on you to shift attention and blames from her own side, especially if you're a big catch for her. I might be wrong though, but it's possible.

Sadly, I didn't do any background check. Most of the stuffs I am learning about her family is in the last 3 years. And they are scary!

pinkguy:
Oga your hand is not clean ,you knew ur wife will read this , and you think you can change her mind set by writing this pretending you are innocent , change you still have time before it's late don't try to harm her , to justify your early response because you Will endup mad in the street be warned lol pls pay me my money I done help ur life

I know say one slowpoke go show up to label the guy an occultic man.... Una no dey ever get sense.. as old as you are .. naa this durty enter your brain... Tufiakwa

pinkguy:
Oga your hand is not clean ,you knew ur wife will read this , and you think you can change her mind set by writing this pretending you are innocent , change you still have time before it's late don't try to harm her , to justify your early response because you Will endup mad in the street be warned lol pls pay me my money I done help ur life

Waaaooooh!!!
After typing this, are you fulfilled?

OP, Please avoid people like this!
I thought this is in the family section!!

I know of a Jos man here in Abuja, former MD in a bank, his daughter became sick and died. Only for the wife to accuse him that he was occultic. This woman went all the way to the village, her shop, neighbors everywhere to tell people that her husband killed their daughter.

The man almost ran mad, how do you prove that you are not occultic in Nigeria? He will beg, even asked her to see a therapist but madam refused.

It got so bad that the man asked her to leave, in his words, how can I be an occultic man and you are still here. Madam packed and left her two kids with "occultic" man.

Wetin fake prophets don do for naija eh? Fast forward to last year, after more than five years, madam came back to beg occultic man to forgive her.

She said her fellow market women and pastor deceived her.

As we speak, "occultic" man no gree collect her back.

Some of my gender believe so much in nollywood and fake prophets.

worriedhubby:


Sadly, I didn't do any background check. Most of the stuffs I am learning about her family is in the last 3 years. And they are scary!

That's where the problem stemmed from. Family background matters a lot in choosing a spouse.


I think you should warn her sternly about running from one fake prophet to another. Let her choose between remaining married to you and doing what she's currently doing. Stop being soft and trying to prove your innocence. She's preying on your softness about the matter. I'm almost certain she knows what she's doing!

Fake unconnected, concocted story.

worriedhubby:
1. My daughter is autistic. My wife is a graduate, and she was working till she went for her surgery last year.

2. I have engaged the service of a marriage counselor. She preferred meeting with the counselor alone. We only met 2 times as a couple. After that she stopped, telling her friend that the counseling session is a means to get words from her that I will use for divorce.

3. Whenever I engage someone, she will raise dust and accuse me of bringing in a 3rd party, especially if the person is trying to make her logical. Must times when she makes false accusations, she would mandate that the person shouldn't tell me.

4. Someone confided that my wife could be doing some diabolical stuffs against me, but since it is not working on me, she feels I am occultic. Her extended family, as I later discovered after marriage, is big on such activities.

1. OK

2. CHEEEZZUSS!

3. Na wa oo!

4. So you don't believe in that occultic hogwash, right?

I feel for you. Like I suggested earlier, please focus on your kids and ensuring they are cared for. If your wife turns 'winch' on the children, please do not hesitate to get them out of such toxic environment. Autism is hard enough for your kid to deal with.

As for you, please do not hesitate to seek care of mental health counselors to help you maintain your sanity while you continue to live with and deal with the irrationality that is currently your wife.