jennykadry:

Ehen naaa, me I am just leaving a mark incase he comes back after 4 yrs to tell us how his wife controls him or how he is tired of the marriage.

I mean, how can someone A MAN for that matter be in such a useless relationship? if the gurl does not want both families understandable, but she wanting hers and keeping his away from HIS OWN HOME is just way beyond me, and the dude is here telling us ''I don taya for the matter''

I need to know if we have real men left in this world.

What is that suppose to mean. Am I not a real man? Who else fit manage and dominate a yaba left woman like you, if not a real man like me.

jennykadry:

Ehen naaa, me I am just leaving a mark incase he comes back after 4 yrs to tell us how his wife controls him or how he is tired of the marriage.

I mean, how can someone A MAN for that matter be in such a useless relationship? if the gurl does not want both families understandable, but she wanting hers and keeping his away from HIS OWN HOME is just way beyond me, and the dude is here telling us ''I don taya for the matter''

I need to know if we have real men left in this world.

If your husband is as good as you say he is, then you probably married the last of them.   Selfish woman. You were not even thinking of the younger generation of girls, were you?  

Personally I don't think i could live with someone like Apache77's girlfriend. I dont like people who exist solely on their friends and family's approval. It's irritating.

IyaBasira:

If your husband is as good as you say he is, then you probably married the last of them.   Selfish woman. You were not even thinking of the younger generation of girls, were you?  

Personally I don't think i could live with someone like Apache77's girlfriend. I dont like people who exist solely on their friends and family's approval. It's irritating.

You can say that again. Am the guilty man

Iya basira No be my fault naaaaa we have one left OAM4J. Please apply.

You see if both parties agree on ''no family members'' then it would have made my poor heart work alot easier, but a woman saying NO to her fiance's family no be husband oooooo , is like WTH. And the dude dey hiaa dey whinn

SHARAPPPPPPP DIA OAM4J

jennykadry:

SHARAPPPPPPP DIA OAM4J

Kai, you are even selling me off to iyabasira, e don reach that level?

Come to me honey, let's go on a romantic trip to Seychelles, nice place! 

I fell out with an IBO Girl who told me that when she wants to MARRY, she wants her Mother in-law dead,  SERIOUS MATA
WHAT DO YOU THINK

.

There should be nothing like me and my wife, for me i adore my family and i also do for my husband family,and i expect my husband to adore and respect my family too as i do his, except i am getting negative vibes from them, as long as we all know our places, i don't have any problem with family members.

Tony from:

I fell out with an IBO Girl who told me that when she wants to MARRY, she wants her Mother in-law dead,  SERIOUS MATA
WHAT DO YOU THINK

Ask her if she will equally kill her own mother before she marry. Forgetting that one day she will be Mother in-law.

Yes ooooo its me and my man ALONE! I go even pursue the ones that live with him already before i come in.WHICH ONE SEF!

Hiss

jennykadry:

Ehen naaa, me I am just leaving a mark incase he comes back after 4 yrs to tell us how his wife controls him or how he is tired of the marriage.

I mean, how can someone A MAN for that matter be in such a useless relationship? if the gurl does not want both families understandable, but she wanting hers and keeping his away from HIS OWN HOME is just way beyond me, and the dude is here telling us ''I don taya for the matter''

I need to know if we have real men left in this world.

Yeeepa!
This is more than enough insult of Apache to quit his relationship. My goodness. See as my eyes dey help the bobo see stars.

I expect him here in the next 4 yearsdays giving testimonies about how his life has been turned around for good.

Cuteobi:

Yes ooooo its me and my man ALONE! I go even pursue the ones that live with him already before i come in.WHICH ONE SEF!

Hmm! I trust U!!

well it depends on who ur family is, if d lady is nt friendly with her inlaws it will bring problem.

no mother will ever want a lady to fence her off her son, (i will nt support da)

i made sure every 1 knows their boundary on both sides but then i av wonderful inlaws who av stayed with me cos they r from akure

my wife is a friend to my all family members, we all see regularly so i av no probs with dat

If my hubby's brother's kids will be my kid's cousin then should i not make sure we have a good relationship with them so that my kid's will have a good network, blood is thicker than water but if the family are crazy people then arms length will be in place yet with love and understanding.

"Me and my wife/husband" should always be priority over other relationships.  I remember when we were getting married one of the things we were told repeatedly is "never get anyone else involved in your relationship if you have a disagreement".   As much as I love my brothers and sister and my in-laws, they have no place in my family business.  I will not stop my spouse helping one of the family, but that doesn't mean they have to live inside our house and know our business.

If I wanna talk to somebody I'll talk to Jesus 

I'm a very out-and-about person, I love visiting and going out with friends, but I'm married to someone who is happy with their own company.  I do  not impose my will on them and insist they must come visiting with me.  We don't live near family but that doesn't mean we don't have a support network outside of immediate family. 

I have friends who have in-laws that try to butt into their business.  A family itself is a new and separate unit, created out of another family unit.  There's nothing wrong with husband, wife and children knowing both families, but don't dictate to someone else's family what they should and shouldn't do.  Let them build their own life and learn from their own mistakes.  Advise them when they ask for it but don't make their business your own.

Whats wrong with "Me and My Husband?"

well, me n my husband life is not bad or wrong. Its simply about preference. It has its own pros n cons. But really no lady will like in-laws influencing her husbands decision more dan she does. It is her home. Even if family members visit from tim to time they should know which line not to cross n when to say 'wat does your wife think?'. They have their families to run so dey should get busy n leav another family alone.

I dont mind

IF YOU ARE A PRACTICING CHRISTIAN OUR BIBLE HAVE ANSWER TO EVERY ISSUE IN LIFE IT DEPENDS ON YOUR UNDERSTANDING, BUT FROM MY OWN VIEW I BELIEVE THAT WHEN A LADY ACCEPTED YOU AND LEFT HIS FAMILY FOR YOURS SHE HAS ALREADY DONE WELL, NORMALLY YOUR FAMILY AND HERS IS UNITED BUT DON'T FORGET WHAT THE SCRIPTURE SAID "SO SHALL A MAN LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND CLEAVE UNTO HIS WIFE" NATURALLY THEIR MUST BE LITTLE MISS UNDERSTANDING AT INITIAL TIME BUT PLEASE COUPLE NO MATTER WAT FAMILY PROBLEM REMEMBER THAT YOU AND YOUR WIFE HAVE YOU OWN FAMILY TO BUILD. PLS NEVER ALLOW ANY CHALLENGE TO TAMPER WITH YOUR MARRIAGE VOWS THANKS.

A Tree cannot make a bush, in the western world their culture doesn't believe in extended family ,but in Africa once you marry a person you become part of the whole family ,when there is an occasion you buy the same cloths together, they can even contribute money to support you, interference, but if you what me and my husband syndrome they will avoid you, but in the day of trouble be ready to go through it alone,but i will say it is good to have people around you.

naijababe:

Why do people keep repeating this ridiculous notion? I am yet to meet white people who don't associate with their extended family. That people refuse to let their extended family overun their homes does not mean they do not associate with them.

My personal opinion is that the whole thing boils down to selfishness and immaturity. Otherwise, tell me the reason why a mother-in-law or sister-in-law will go to another woman's house and simply refuse to respect her or why young woman would think it's okay to ill treat people because they are in-laws.


Live and let live, abeg.
You need to read my post well ,I do not say  white people don't associate with their extended family,but compare to African there  clear is difference ,am working with white people and I do travel, I know a white man who have not seen any of his two children for the past 15yrs ,all they do is little chat s on phone,in abroad you and you husband can decide to relocate to anywhere in the world ,and after doing this you can later call you family at anytime to inform them,if you do this in Africa your family will be angry ,they will say why  telling now, when you have already move without informing us,

if you are my sister you may be staying in Chicago while am in Texas for years we may not bother to see each other, the best  i can do, is may be to order greeting card online for  your birthday,

There have been many cases where an old person will died in a house and people may not know in the neighborhood after long time,is not common here,because someone is likely to come and say good morning grandma, me too and practicing me and my wife only , family member can come for visits ,there are some responsibilities am taking now that if am a white man ,it will not be in my book.

bi ilw wu:

A Tree cannot make a bush, in the western world their culture doesn't believe in extended family ,but in Africa once you marry a person you become part of the whole family ,when there is an occasion you buy the same cloths together, they can even contribute money to support you, interference, but if you what me and my husband syndrome they will avoid you, but in the day of trouble be ready to go through it alone,but i will say it is good to have people around you.

Since when were you are an authority on all things in the Western world? Are you talking from experience or what you've seen on tv?

A Tree cannot make a bush, in the western world their culture doesn't believe in extended family ,but in Africa once you marry a person you become part of the whole family ,when there is an occasion you buy the same cloths together, they can even contribute money to support you, interference, but if you what me and my husband syndrome they will avoid you, but in the day of trouble be ready to go through it alone,but i will say it is good to have people around you.




You need to read my post well ,I do not say white people don't associate with their extended family,but compare to African there clear is difference ,am working with white people and I do travel, I know a white man who have not seen any of his two children for the past 15yrs ,all they do is little chat s on phone,in abroad you and you husband can decide to relocate to anywhere in the world ,and after doing this you can later call you family at anytime to inform them,if you do this in Africa your family will be angry ,they will say why telling now, when you have already move without informing us,

if you are my sister you may be staying in Chicago while am in Texas for years we may not bother to see each other, the best i can do, is may be to order greeting card online for your birthday,

There have been many cases where an old person will died in a house and people may not know in the neighborhood after long time,is not common here,because someone is likely to come and say good morning grandma, me too and practicing me and my wife only , family member can come for visits ,there are some responsibilities am taking now that if am a white man ,it will not be in my book.
Posted on: Today at 10:27:17 AM
Posted by: ogospe

^
Are the examples you cited above supposed to be good things? A man who has not seen his children in past the 15 years, an old person dying at home and nobody knows?

Very terrible way to argue your case, not that I have taken sides already. Just saying.

Interesting thread

If me and my husband is a syndrome to you, then you are a syndrome.

When you get married and become one, you thought it was a joke.

Abeg, me and my husband is not a joke. if it is not me and my husband first and foremost, it is divorce.

revert your thinking.

;. yeah, every woman wants me and my husby thing , but there are some situation that you will find yrself that u cant just do anything about but agree with yr husby. take for instance, my husby's immediate younger sis suddenly lost her husby last yr june, and since then, my husband has been d one helping her and d 3 kids financially, pay for house rent, celebrate d kids b/days, their sch fees etc, there ar other siblings o, onme is still in sch dat he pays d sch fees, another one just finished service but has not gotten a good job, his father is there. now, tell me, do i stop him from take care of all dis pple then i bcom a bad person? even though i know its affecting us financially? no i wont. but i will make sure am always doing something for myself, so that wen he is not having too much or when what his extended family wants bcoms more important than mine i can still take care of myself. every woman MUST be doing something. that is d koko

mafolayomi:

;. yeah, every woman wants me and my husby thing , but there are some situation that you will find yrself that u cant just do anything about but agree with yr husby. take for instance, my husby's immediate younger sis suddenly lost her husby last yr june, and since then, my husband has been d one helping her and d 3 kids financially, pay for house rent, celebrate d kids b/days, their sch fees etc, there ar other siblings o, onme is still in sch dat he pays d sch fees, another one just finished service but has not gotten a good job, his father is there. now, tell me, do i stop him from take care of all dis pple then i bcom a bad person? even though i know its affecting us financially? no i wont. but i will make sure am always doing something for myself, so that wen he is not having too much or when what his extended family wants bcoms more important than mine i can still take care of myself. every woman MUST be doing something. that is d koko

you a nice woman with good understanding of situations, God bless you, MY FELLOW LADIES MAKE SURE YUO HAVE SOMTHING DOING NEVER BE A HOUSE CONSUMER BUT BE A HOUSE CONTRIBUTOR[color=#990000][/color]

Personally I believe that we need to focus more on our immediate family. Me, my wife and our kids that is my number one priority, others are welcome after I have taken care of these ones. Beside my family members are all doing well, we inter visit, and its always fun. The same with my wife family. But from day one I made it clear to my family members, that now that I have my own immediate family that they will always come first. And this my father agrees with.

A lot of ppl believe that theirs wife is stopping their brother from giving them money, without bothering to ask how mush is their brother earning and what is his immediate family needs, which is his major responsibility. A lot of my Igbo brothers will not marry until he have finished training his younger ones. so that the responsibility will not be too much for him.



yeap

Depends on who really needs the help or a relative spending a holiday. And it just has to be a big house. Won't squeeze myself with any relative in a 3 bedroom flat. The ones who wants to turn themselves to nuisances (like complaining the meat I give her is not enough or vexing because I forgot to greet) would be shown the door. And yes it's me and my husband.