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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Y Should I Suffer For Her Abusive Past? (926 Views)
When You Suffer With A Man And He latter Dumps You When He Becomes Rich. / A Nairaland Girl Narrates Her Ordeal In Her Abusive Relationship / OH Boy I Don Dyee; Girls Don Suffer For This We Country{pics}wicked Name (2) (3) (4)
Y Should I Suffer For Her Abusive Past? by sheuniye: 11:04pm On Jul 08, 2011 |
Nairalanders i'm in a fix and seriously need help. In a serious relationship with a wonderful woman, one you can define (to the altar). We've been dating for a couple of years and we're planning on getting married later this year but i seem kinda trapped now. We seem perfect on the outside but we're struggling on the inside. Her troubled childhood and bad relationships seem to be what I'm paying for at the moment. I accepted her for who she was when we started out and thought being loving and 100% sincerity was the antidote to whatever issue she must have had but it really isn't working i must confess. My being loving and attentive seems to make her feel uncomfortable, she says no man can ever be as good as i am except that i have something up my sleeves, when i try withdrawing a lil bit she says didn't she tell me i'll change. She's so good at everything else, if we have small issues no1 seems to listen to my part, they say it must be my fault etc. Family members being around has started making her uncomfy too, she says she we need our space (buh i had a family b4 i met her, one that actually raised me). To worsen it all, i can't even complain about anything she does now without her turning it all over and making me the culprit for something i complained about. I really want us to work out but i cant afford to manage a married life, I'll appreciate any and all suggestion(s). I've asked the Audience now, the last lifeline for me is to walk away, |
Re: Y Should I Suffer For Her Abusive Past? by Advocator: 11:07pm On Jul 08, 2011 |
She is traumatized, wants to be assured what had happened to her previously won't happen again. Use your psychological scantiness, calm her down, love her, ease her the pain she's carrying, slow sex her, be overly romantic until she leaves the dark room she is in. she is your woman now, and her painful past is your past. The pain she is in won't be forever. You are getting tested dude, so bare with her and all will be well. |
Re: Y Should I Suffer For Her Abusive Past? by Nobody: 11:10pm On Jul 08, 2011 |
Hmnn,nice one advocator! |
Re: Y Should I Suffer For Her Abusive Past? by Dyt(f): 11:12pm On Jul 08, 2011 |
Give it 4 Advocator neva knew u had dis kinda brain |
Re: Y Should I Suffer For Her Abusive Past? by sheuniye: 11:14pm On Jul 08, 2011 |
@Advocator, Thnx a mill |
Re: Y Should I Suffer For Her Abusive Past? by Goldieluks: 11:14pm On Jul 08, 2011 |
Advocator: Advocator?? aww how sweet. |
Re: Y Should I Suffer For Her Abusive Past? by ShyOne(f): 11:20pm On Jul 08, 2011 |
Advocator: wow, never thought i would say this - BUT YOU COMPLETELY RIGHT. Shy-One is impressed with you. A wonderful response that will definitely get results - it is very true - thank you |
Re: Y Should I Suffer For Her Abusive Past? by Advocator: 11:27pm On Jul 08, 2011 |
Thank you ladies, don't let 'my weird acting' in this site lie to you. I can be deep sometimes. OP you are wlc. |
Re: Y Should I Suffer For Her Abusive Past? by Breeze5000: 11:47pm On Jul 08, 2011 |
sheun@iye: Before saying anything I would advice you both seek proffessional help. And my own advice to you is take her out or do the thing you know she loves best and when both of you are in a real good mood, sit her down and pour out your heart. I mean tell her what you just told us, how you cant talk anymore without her turning it into something else. Communication is the key to a good relationship but unfortunately lots of people confuse talking for commnunicating. Finally you have to make her believe that your relationship cant work if you dont resolve this vital part of it and you should not be afraid to do this because your future happiness depends on how you handle this. Success |
Re: Y Should I Suffer For Her Abusive Past? by sheuniye: 12:18am On Jul 09, 2011 |
@Breeze50, Appreciate ur advice. Strongly agree with u all d way |
Re: Y Should I Suffer For Her Abusive Past? by Nobody: 12:38am On Jul 09, 2011 |
Advocator: |
Re: Y Should I Suffer For Her Abusive Past? by Advocator: 12:41am On Jul 09, 2011 |
talina: My My My! This is the 1st time I'm seeing a fellow Canadian. Do you reside in tdot? |
Re: Y Should I Suffer For Her Abusive Past? by Nobody: 12:44am On Jul 09, 2011 |
Advocator: |
Re: Y Should I Suffer For Her Abusive Past? by Advocator: 12:48am On Jul 09, 2011 |
talina: Slick sweetheart! I dislike that place. Everything about it sucks, the weather sucks, the architecture sucks, the night life sucks, the food selection sucks. I stand corrected though. |
Re: Y Should I Suffer For Her Abusive Past? by Nobody: 12:56am On Jul 09, 2011 |
Slick sweetheart! I dislike that place. Everything about it sucks, the weather sucks, the architecture sucks, the night life sucks, the food selection sucks. I stand corrected though. Well, its a beautiful city in the summertime at least! |
Re: Y Should I Suffer For Her Abusive Past? by Advocator: 1:02am On Jul 09, 2011 |
talina: Ah summer, when hot babes are half naked. I went to caribana 2010 and I was blinded with sexiness. By the way, Nice meeting you talina. |
Re: Y Should I Suffer For Her Abusive Past? by Nobody: 1:16am On Jul 09, 2011 |
Advocator: |
Re: Y Should I Suffer For Her Abusive Past? by MMM2(m): 3:26am On Jul 09, 2011 |
op just find anoda lady |
Re: Y Should I Suffer For Her Abusive Past? by horny4u(f): 3:51pm On Jul 09, 2011 |
You will spend the better part of your marriage reassuring her but guess what if you leave her its the same circle in that aspect we women are same no ni Grab the book men are from mars women are from venus |
Re: Y Should I Suffer For Her Abusive Past? by iice(f): 4:23pm On Jul 11, 2011 |
Breeze5000:Ding! |
Re: Y Should I Suffer For Her Abusive Past? by jeffman(m): 7:00pm On Jul 11, 2011 |
@Op. i will say u are doing well so far. u have the rite attitude for her. U just need a lil bit of patience. U are unassuming which is good. also never be judgmental. rememba u are teaching her to trust so u must trust completely. i wont agree withe the being overly romantic advise u were giving o. be natural. if u are naturally romantic then keep at it. the keyword is persistence & consistency not heroics. |
Re: Y Should I Suffer For Her Abusive Past? by kpolli(m): 10:18am On Jul 12, 2011 |
abegi, that one of being traumatized don do. . . . . how many yrs ago abeg jo she must learn to move on |
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