Hello all,

This is difficult situation for me, my mom's house has been left uncompleted since 2014 just the foundation and probably 2couch were placed ontop since then it's been there because she had to send my siblings and I to higher institution. Now am of age, doing quite well for myself. I think am finally ready to build a house, was thinking about getting a land 100 by 50 and raise 5 bedroom flats... but on the other hand that my mom's building had been left uncompleted since it's a family land, relatives are starting to say somethings and sometimes I could see the shame on my mom's face when she goes to her family compound. Almost every months they always call her to come clear it that it has become harbor for snakes and pests. So I thought why don't I just complete it for her first.


The issue here Is immediately I told my fiancee she said it's a good idea but kicked against it. That I should build mine first, before completing my mom's. That it can wait.

I also confided in a friend of mine, he said almost same thing, that my thing is different from our own. Saying am not the only one my mom gave birth to, if I complete it now I should be ready to share it with my siblings no matter what when the time comes.

I'm confused and need advice on the step to take. I would really want to complete that house for my mom I Know it would mean a lot to her..I'm really confused.

One way or the other somebody has to develop it, if I the first son don't do it now that am financially stable. Then my younger bro will do it, trust me it won't make sense that way that's just my fear.

If am completely my mom's house I be restarting it from the scratch, the only advantage is the land that's already available.

Dude build your own first
Ask your mom to stay with you in the mean time
Then call for a family meeting and then ask everyone to contribute for the completing of the family house
Evn if your own will be the biggest atleast let everyone add something

blazingblender:
Dude build your own first
Ask your mom to stay with you in the mean time
Then call for a family meeting and then ask everyone to contribute for the completing of the family house
Evn if your own will be the biggest atleast let everyone add something

I understand, but they are still in school one about to round up though.

Nice submission sir

how many sibling you got? if you are an only child, build your mom's house 1st (it will be yours anyway at the end)....if not, build your 1st and let your mom stay with you in the mean time....OR start building on both equally (longer process)

MrBrownJay1:
how many sibling you got? if you are an only child, build your mom's house 1st (it will be yours anyway at the end)....if not, build your 1st and let your mom stay with you in the mean time....OR start building on both equally (longer process)

we are 3 and yes am the eldest.

Barrister026:
Hello all,

this is not the time to be confuse oga build ya own house, your mother can come anytime and will be welcome but you see her house it belongs to everybody, you wil be drag for this in the end you have your own property.

We can't tell you which one you should build first but for me, i'll build my mum's first.

yuping:
this is not the time to be confuse oga build ya own house, your mother can come anytime and will be welcome but you see her house it belongs to everybody, you wil be drag for this in the end you have your own property.

One way or the other somebody has to develop it, if I the first son don't do it now that am financially stable. Then my younger bro will do it, trust me it won't make sense that way.
As for my mom she's aged already.

. The issue here Is immediately I told my fiancee she said it's a good idea but kicked against it.

You asked your girlfriend advice for something relating your mum

A girl you met recently will tell you what to do regarding your mum?


A girl you're sharing with different guys told you to discard your mum's happiness? What sort of men are we breeding these days?

Barrister026:

One way or the other somebody has to develop it, if I the first son don't do it now that am financially stable. Then my younger bro will do it, trust me it won't make sense that way.
As for my mom she's aged already.

Nothing will make sense when you don't have your own property and the one you build for your mom will not be hers anymore, nobody will even consider you, but from the look of things you just want to do something for your mom.
But the truth is with time you will not be able to visit there, when your mom is no more.

Kriss216:


You asked your girlfriend advice for something relating your mum

A girl you met recently will tell you what to do regarding your mum?


A girl you're sharing with different guys told you to discard your mum's happiness? What sort of men are we breeding these days?

I can't believe you actually booked space for this just to gather cheap likes

Don't you think it's better for me to confide in an olosho I sleep with, than to come online to ask random people who some are demented lunatics like you who find every loopholes to ridicule people online.
Kriss the whole nairaland knows you and your silly post, your Just a small boy who still feeds on mama thank you.

The funny thing is your mates are out there doing better things for themselves, winning daily.

yuping:
Nothing will make sense when you don't have your own property and the one you build for your mom will not be hers anymore, nobody will even consider you, but from the look of things you just want to do something for your mom.
But the truth is with time you will not be able to visit there, when your mom is no more.

Why won't I visit my mother's compound? Something that is a trek able distance from where I currently reside.

I was even there yesterday for a family meeting

Barrister026:

Why won't I visit my mother's compound? Something that is a trek able distance from where I currently reside.

I was even there yesterday for a family meeting

Time will tell.

Barrister026:

I can't believe you actually booked space for this just to gather cheap likes

Don't you think it's better for me to confide in an olosho I sleep with, than to come online to ask random people who some are demented lunatics like you who find every loopholes to ridicule people online.
Kriss the whole nairaland knows you and your silly post, your Just a small boy who still feeds on mama thank you.

The funny thing is your mates are out there doing better things for themselves, winning daily.

I'm glad you know me and how I'm trying my best in trying to emancipate silly boys like you from the shackles of that evil gender.

Please my brother, never take family advice from a girlfriend. It's foolishness.

Happy weekend.

yuping:
Time will tell.

Time won't tell my friend, if you come from a family who disregard mother side.
We are not like that, if I tell you I still have access to my grandmother's compound you won't believe or my great grand father mother's compound.
It's what oyibo calls extended family

Long before I built my mum a house on her land. I had finished 1 rental property and bought a few other piece of land.

It was when the land was about to be taken that I finished it. Funny enough i live there for 1 yr before i left Nigeria.

Listen to me.

I beleive every man should Put himself first.

Your mum has options. She currently lives somewhere, she has siblings. She has other children. The govt, church and community pity women. Life can be cruel on men, you did not mention your father . I.suppose he may not be alive just like mine.

Don't be emotionally blackmailed oo. I know its.hard because of the connection we have with our mums.

Worse case scenario. Build yours and give her a free flat in it. While you work on setting up your life for better.

Kriss216:

I'm glad you know me and how I'm trying my best in trying to emancipate silly boys like you from the shackles of that evil gender.

Please my brother, never take family advice from a girlfriend. It's foolishness.

Happy weekend.

Okay, run along now to see if that boser you sunned outside is dry.


I don't know you, I only see some silly post and shake my head like who born this one.

Barrister026:

Okay, run along now to see if that boser you sunned aside is dry.


I don't know you, I only see some silly post and shake my head like who born this one.

You don't have to insult me... advice is not a curse. Be guided please

Kriss216:

You don't have to insult me... advice is not a curse. Be guided please

Are you tired? I'm giving it to you back wotowoto. Keep it coming, small boy.

When grownups who have gone far in life are talking you are supposed to sit your assz down and learn not to run just to comment with your normal Simp line. looking for who to tag..it's staled already.

This is a mature conversations for the elderly, na run along and go play with your phone.

Barrister026:

Are you tired? I'm giving it to you back wotowoto. Keep it coming, small boy.

When grownups who have gone far in life are talking you are supposed to sit your assz down and learn not to run just to comment with your normal Simp line. looking for who to tag..it's staled already.

This is a mature conversations for the elderly, na run along and go play with your phone.

I know why you're vexed...you believed your girlfriend is the best and you're not sharing her with anyone that's why you flamed up when I mentioned her.

Calm down egbon, she's just a girlfriend not your wife yet. Don't give her too much opportunity to dictate what happens in your family. Treat a girlfriend like a girlfriend before you ruin your life.

Kriss216:

I know why you're vexed...you believed your girlfriend is the best and you're not sharing her with anyone that's why you flamed up when I mentioned her.

Calm down egbon, she's just a girlfriend not your wife yet. Don't give her too much opportunity to dictate what happens in your family. Treat a girlfriend like a girlfriend before you ruin your life.

I asked a closed pal of mine, who is in his early forties, and he said almost same thing. I guessed you didn't see that.

Don't you see how pathetic you sound?

Barrister026:

I asked a closed pal of mine, who is in his early forties, and he said almost same thing. I guessed you didn't see that.

Don't you see how you pathetic sound?

I got no problems with you asking a man in his 40s, my problem is you asking a girlfriend. What nonsense? There are things you shouldn't ask a girlfriend until she turns to your wife. Stop giving these girls leverage to use against you.

Kriss216:

I got no problems with you asking a man in his 40s, my problem is you asking a girlfriend. What nonsense? There are things you shouldn't ask a girlfriend until she turns to your wife. Stop giving these girls leverage to use against you.

Boy call your English teacher and ask him the meaning of "fiancee and your normal "girlfriends"

I might even be talking with a teenager, your post is giving you out big time. You reason so immature that's what annoys me on every front page just to gather likes.

This my last response to you, I won't indulge any further.

Kriss216 the roasting and gbas gbos never do you?

Thank God almost everyone knows you are an irredeemably slimy human

Go and rest....

Barrister026:

Boy call your English teacher and ask him the meaning of "fiancee and your normal "girlfriends"

I might even be talking with a teenager, your post is giving you out big time. You reason so immature that's what annoys me on every front page just to gather likes.

This my last response to you, I won't indulge any further.

Fiancée is just a word devised by greedy and evil men to drill the kpekus deeper...chill guy.

Biglittlelois:
Kriss216 the roasting and gbas gbos never do you?

Thank God almost everyone knows you are an irredeemably slimy human

Go and rest....

Not today Satan, not today.

Kriss216:

Not today Satan, not today.

You go dey alright las las

This ur situation is tricky and needs wisdom but just know that completing ur mother's house is a long term goal while urs should be short term.
However, I suggest you get the land needed to build ur house and reason with ur mother pending on when ur siblings will be financially buoyant enough to help u.
And if where she currently stays is not rented pls u know what to do

Barrister026:

One way or the other somebody has to develop it, if I the first son don't do it now that am financially stable. Then my younger bro will do it, trust me it won't make sense that way.
As for my mom she's aged already.

You make it sound as though it's a competition of who builds it. Please, don't put yourself under unsure pressure competing with anyone.

That said, as for which one to build first, decide your scale of preference and follow it. The circumstance should dictate which one you should do first

GboyegaD:


You make it sound as though it's a competition of who builds it. Please, don't put yourself under unsure pressure competing with anyone.

That said, as for which one to build first, decide your scale of preference and follow it. The circumstance should dictate which one you should do first

No it's not a competition, it's just common reason every elder son of a family is supposed to reason.
My younger brother can't complete my mom's house, then maybe later I start to drag with him, it doesn't sound right.
Besides I want to complete it because it's been there for a long time now.