hi,dis is actually my first time of seeking u guys advice,pls help me nlanders.I noticed dat ever since i got heartbroken by my girlfriend of 8 yrs,i've not seen any girl dat is worthy enough to be given my heart,i always have d feeling dat it is even d commited and faithful guys dat r treated like trash by ladies,i will be 29 dis sept and i dnt even have any girl i can call mine,i have dos i use to satisfy my sexual needs though but not serious wit any cos i knw d moment u fall in love then be prepared 4 d worst 4rm dem bitches.i desire to luv and be luved but i'm scared cos of past experiences,i know wat i passd tru den.i dnt want to exceed 32 b4 settln down.help me guys,no insults pls

muystoy:

hi,dis is actually my first time of seeking u guys advice,pls help me nlanders.I noticed dat ever since i got heartbroken by my girlfriend of 8 yrs,i've not seen any girl dat is worthy enough to be given my heart,i always have d feeling dat it is even d commited and faithful guys dat r treated like trash by ladies,i will be 29 dis sept and i dnt even have any girl i can call mine,i have dos i use to satisfy my intimate needs though but not serious wit any cos i knw d moment u fall in love then be prepared 4 d worst 4rm dem bitches.i desire to luv and be luved but i'm scared cos of past experiences,i know wat i passd tru den.i dnt want to exceed 32 b4 settln down.help me guys,no insults pls

What more can a man ask for?!

^^^ He asked for advise.Now or step.

YES YOU CAN LOVE AGAIN.

Listen op.Your situation is not unique at all. All these people you see around you in love have been heart broken at one point of their lives.
They just decided to shake off the past and love again.If they did it and they are human then you too can.
8 yrs is a long time.The reason you hurt deep.But rem. there are people that have invested more time than you did and it all fell apart.

My advise to you is.Pliz do not be a prisoner of you past.It stops you from seeing the good ahead.
At times we spend so much time gazing at a door that is closing we fail to see the one that is opening.

Look at it this way.The person that hurt you moved on and are living their lives.Why cant you do the same?
If you are over the healing process then open your heart to embrace and love again.That will help you to forget the pain,you will not even rem. how bad it hurt.Do not even hold a grudge just let go and let God open another way for you.

How do you know you are healed from hurt? When you are able to talk about the other person that hurt you without anger or bitterness.
You meet them on the street and say hi without feeling a thing!

Realise that nobody can help you out of your situation.You must wake up and decide you are going to love again otherwise you quench your heart and suffer from depression. Get out their see other gals and dont break their hearts as revenge.You will hit 50 before you settle if you go round doing that.

And yes most times its the good people who get hurt.You are human and not exempt from anything cz that is what we call life.
So change your tune to 'YES I CAN LOVE AGAIN.

Who said you have to be in Love to get married

wait and see claremont back that up with talk about mutual compatibility and whtevr else.

@pendo89,i'm really amazed and impressed by ur analysis,i'm telln u i'm neither hapi nor proud of wat i'm doin but i cant help it,wen i tink of how much luv,care,attentn,pampering,finance et al i wastd on dis girl nd d level of her betrayer,i always ve d feeln dat any guy dat is stil luvn must be insane .@sexkillz i'm not down wit my current status but i must be a big fool i allow thunder to strike me twice@ d same spot,once beaten twice, ,i almost died wen it happnd

^^ [b]You have not met people that have suffered major heartbreaks.[/b]That's why I tell you to stop whining about nothing.
See there are people that love pity parties and no amount of encouragement can change them.
If you are the kind then am sorry.You are 29! grownup am sure you can handle that so get over it since it didn't kill you.
But if you choose to sit there in that cave and moan forever that's your choice.
Maybe your eyes will open when you discover your agemates are married with kids
Get yourself UP! and give that broken heart to God.He knows how to mend it well. Do not assume that a miracle will catapult you from your current position.
Go out there and meet people and change your song. Is all have to say to you.

@Op,

you have to re-adjust your mind set about LOVE,
stop punishing yourself,because of a failed 8 year relationship(sadly though),
and not until you set out your mind to fall-inlove again,you would come here in another
8 years time,crying for this same issue,i don not wish you that though.
So, feel free and fall inlove again,because everything happen for a reason,you never know
what would have happened to you,if you had gotten married to your ex,you just never know.

so get a grip,bruv.

Maybe you haven’t really forgiven her yet, that’s why. You need to let her go, and love again. Life itself is a risk, and too short for you to live in the past.

I dated my childhood sweetheart for 6 years and she hurt me pretty bad, so I know what you are going through.

muystoy:

but not serious wit any cos i knw d moment u fall in love then[b] be prepared 4 d worst 4rm dem bitches[/b].i desire to luv and be luved[b] but i'm scared cos of past experiences[/b],i know wat i passd tru den.i dnt want to exceed 32 b4 settln down.help me guys,no insults pls

You brand ladies "bitches", from the tone of that you don't wanna fall in love with a bitch,you've just called all ladies that, if that mindset doesnt change,

"Scared of past experiences" ---- Even when your past relationship "seemed" sweet, didnt you have bitter moments?
LOVE is a bitter-sweet experience, if you need just sweet go get SUGAR.

190:

^was that the reason why you dated me for 8days and left me

now i can love again

Sad!!!!

@op

You just have not met that girl that would take you there. Often times, we all use that phrase that I don't think I can fall in love again but you will. Its a matter of time. Don't go looking for it, it would just find you and you would know she is the one. It would come naturally & mutually. But first of all, forget the past where it belongs-the past and live for today because no one knows tomorrow.

I don't judge you for having flings, it takes 2 to tango, you obviously did not use a knife to get them to spread. The girls knew what they were doing and probably have moved on so its no biggy. For a man, there would be several options, choices & picks, its up to all of them to battle it out and the most intelligent one wins. So let the best lady win your heart. One must surely end up as the No 1. Let them play their games tight to occupy that vacuum.

Love does not have to happen in one day, its built. Infact I am a sucker for peace of mind & happiness then the love would grow. Realistically most happy marriages were not based on love but friendship, compatibility, interest, compromise, communication, trust, companionship & fondness. When you have all that, it keeps your interest alive. Only God has sincere love for man. So don't rush. Take your time.

^^^Well articulated, Gbam!!! When is your next hairdo?

^I am carrying my natchy hair now. Need to grow the front with Indian hemp cream and spirit.

op, harsh words there, just because one orange isnt sweet, that would not make u to stop licking oranges,
first u got to forgive and let go, its for the best, i kinda feel ur a good guy,^{***having a relationship for 8 yrs , maybe without cheating***},on settling down no need for the pressure, am pretty sure u would meet som1, u could spend the rest of ur lyf with.just take it easy , forgive and get the other lady out of your system.

@cuddlemi,well spoken,@donguutti its not my fault,u cant undastand if u've not experienced it

Cuddlemii:

^I am carrying my natchy hair now. Need to grow the front with Indian hemp cream and spirit.

Try animal(cow) dung. They work wonders

^ I just googled it. Yes it does work but how do I get it. I'm sure in advance countries, they would redefine it and all. I can't go around with excrete cos I want to grow my hair.

op
hope u dont mind if i give u my left over,

4 u 2 marry.

First of OP, you need to pick up, dust yourself and move on. Second, you need to take your time in your search for true love. Do not fast track the process cos of your pressing need to love and be loved otherwise, you go meet chic wey go take you do maga again.

Best of luck man.

sexkillz:

Your topic has condemned you already! I have nothing to say to you for now, cos as long as you have that mentality of not falling in love again, there's NOTHING I or ANYONE will say to you, that would make you change your mind! Unless you are happy with your current state of singleness, and happy with the Intimate satisfaction you are receiving, then you MUST change your Perception about LOVE!

Tell am again abeg!! i no wan tell am this Forget about the past.let the new girls I melt in your hands." If you're looking at it and think it's cheesy, you are forgetting the chemistry that can happen when the time is right

good for you.