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Who Has To Resign? by pinkrex(m): 1:28pm On Aug 11, 2011 |
Mr and Mrs Bells have bn married 4 the past 5yrs with 3 kids. The nature of their job doesnt really give dem time 4 dr kids which isnt too good. 1 has to resign to meet up with the kid's needs, mnwhile d wife earns thrice the husband's salary. Advice them |
Re: Who Has To Resign? by omega25red(m): 2:08pm On Aug 11, 2011 |
the husband better quit and take care of them kids. Besides staying home would give him time to study and improve on his career so when he decides to get back to work, he can earn more money too ( i know this is where your mind is going) |
Re: Who Has To Resign? by pinkrex(m): 2:22pm On Aug 11, 2011 |
omega25red: NO offense, But refine your next post after brainstorming In this kinda African setting, the man will become a woman while being naturally a man. |
Re: Who Has To Resign? by Goldieluks: 2:25pm On Aug 11, 2011 |
The solution is clear enough,the husband has to resign,but i don't think its a good idea,for a man to stay at home,while the woman becomes the bread winner. |
Re: Who Has To Resign? by pinkrex(m): 2:31pm On Aug 11, 2011 |
Goldieluks: That just the first thing to come to your mind aight? BTW, who now becomes the man when this happens |
Re: Who Has To Resign? by DaDoctor: 2:33pm On Aug 11, 2011 |
^^LET THEM BOTH WORK FOR A WHILE START A BIZNESS AND THEN THE WIFE SUSTAINS SAME COMBINING IT WITH HOME KEEPING, WHILE THE MAN BRINGS THE PENNY HOME^^ THAT WILL DO THEM GOOD |
Re: Who Has To Resign? by Goldieluks: 2:39pm On Aug 11, 2011 |
pinkrex: Da Doc is right too! The man is always the head no matter what happens along the line,but when the man starts staying at home taking care of the kids,there's this instinct in women,to start looking at the man,like he's loose his MALE pride,and not man enough for her. It is only in very few cases,that the man's pride still stays intact,very few. |
Re: Who Has To Resign? by pinkrex(m): 2:46pm On Aug 11, 2011 |
Da Doctor: No offense, but read the post again. Goldieluks: Exactly my point, but does that makes sense?? |
Re: Who Has To Resign? by Goldieluks: 2:50pm On Aug 11, 2011 |
It is a difficult one,but both parties have to work with understanding, and they must know there boundaries,and not breech it. the man should retain his duty as a man,and the woman should also do the same too. And the kids would grow up obviously,so it wouldn't be long,for the man to get something doing. |
Re: Who Has To Resign? by kokoye(m): 2:51pm On Aug 11, 2011 |
Does one have to resign? Cant they manage till either . .or both get a job that'll give more family time? It is not easy to raise a family . . .that's one of the things you have to deal with. It's in Africa . . and money is very important, get a family member to stay with the kids for the time being. We had loads of family members in my house when I was young. |
Re: Who Has To Resign? by DaDoctor: 2:55pm On Aug 11, 2011 |
pinkrex: nothing like sentiment. we are being realistic here. The woman is more skilled in home keeping. what can a man do. give the children suck? See the man just has been placed above the woman by God himself. Not saying he shud being an authoritarian though. You need to see the attitude of women who work and feed their hubby for real. |
Re: Who Has To Resign? by pinkrex(m): 2:57pm On Aug 11, 2011 |
kokoye: That's an alternative bro buh what im talking about has to do with who has to resign wif immediate effect to care for the kids and that point in time. If thats your opinion den its cool tho. |
Re: Who Has To Resign? by pinkrex(m): 3:02pm On Aug 11, 2011 |
Da Doctor: Who has to resign considering all pros and cons and not alternatives or solutions i asked for |
Re: Who Has To Resign? by r231(m): 3:02pm On Aug 11, 2011 |
Goldieluks: true pinkrex: Not really i guess African mentality is different in marriage, there is nothing like my money. its our money and any sensible man will make use of that opportunity to srt a small business with whatever they have available even if it involves working from home. as for the kids, what happened to nursery, nanny, daycare or even house help pinkrex: why does one have to resign tho its not like there is no alternatives |
Re: Who Has To Resign? by MMM2(m): 7:11pm On Aug 11, 2011 |
they need 2 sell dose children out 4 slave trade |
Re: Who Has To Resign? by sleekch1c(f): 11:51pm On Aug 11, 2011 |
Let the man resign.alternatively,they cld get a divorce, screw male pride,the answer is obvious! |
Re: Who Has To Resign? by omega25red(m): 11:57pm On Aug 11, 2011 |
pinkrex:no offence taken you should put africa only in the title of your post because there is a bigger world other than the fish bowl you live in no offence! by the way what happens if the husband lost his job? would he make his wife quite then because he is not making any money then she shouldn't? |
Re: Who Has To Resign? by guente02(m): 11:59pm On Aug 11, 2011 |
IMO let the man resign and open a spare parts shop, thats through his saving4 and get his relative to stay with the kids while he trades and his darling works. |
Re: Who Has To Resign? by Mynd44: 12:27am On Aug 12, 2011 |
There is no way to answer this the right way so I will make it personal. If I was the guy, I will quit for the sake of my children. The whole male pride thing cannot stop me from giving my kids the best. The funds is very important and while my wife works, I can also try to find something doing that will take less time and still keep me busy cos ' can't stand not doing anything |
Re: Who Has To Resign? by pinkrex(m): 9:02am On Aug 12, 2011 |
Mynd_44: Coool, But can the man really do all the chores like the woman would? #justsaying |
Re: Who Has To Resign? by SexyBabie(f): 10:11am On Aug 12, 2011 |
age of kids? |
Re: Who Has To Resign? by Mynd44: 10:14am On Aug 12, 2011 |
pinkrex: He could try and you know what they say about practising and perfection. |
Re: Who Has To Resign? by LongOne1(m): 10:28am On Aug 12, 2011 |
They should both come together to brainstorm, and prayerfully find a solution. It’s not the easiest of situations to be in, particularly as Male pride is involved. I guess if the woman is understanding enough, he can choose to stay at home and develop himself (part time degree/on-line or long distance learning) without her rubbing it in. My Aunt, worked tirelessly to support her husband through his Masters degree abroad. Then again, this was in the 80’s, and I am honestly not sure, if women are made that way anymore. |
Re: Who Has To Resign? by pendo89(f): 10:41am On Aug 12, 2011 |
^^ not bad.I also know of an almost similar case. The hubby had a good job but the wife had to leave the country to go pursue a PHD in a prestigious university. After a while, the hubby had to forsake his good job,and travel with their young kid to accompany and support the wife. He stayed in the house with their baby boy till she was through with her PHD and landed a dream job. And now it was the guy's turn to study.He graduated last year and they both have wonderful jobs and 2 kids! It takes a very understanding partner to make things work. At times Pride hinders us from achieving our goals and being happy. @op The dude is not dying here! Hes sacrificing something for the good of[b] his[/b] family.On the other hand he should not just sit at home and play house hubby. He can manage a biz and work from home.People nowadays have Virtual offices therefore he can still run and manage an office from his living room. Eventually the kids will grow and not need baby sitting.The man will simply continue with what he has been doing. Infact he will be more flexible Having said, that we must also bear in mind that the kids need both parents time not just 1. So its not the quantity [/b]of time you spend with your kids that will make difference.Its the[b] quality. I hr quality time with them is much better than 8 hours spent doing nothing for them. |
Re: Who Has To Resign? by pinkrex(m): 12:02pm On Aug 12, 2011 |
pendo89:Interesting story, but few cases tho. One of d kids is 5 and the other 3 |
Re: Who Has To Resign? by pendo89(f): 12:17pm On Aug 12, 2011 |
Those are not toddlers. If you asked me,the solution is not to resign but to balance their time well. With the tough economic times and everything fluctuating every now and then you can never be too sure whose job will last longer. Many people are managing in their situation and they are raising very good and responsible kids cz they value quality more than quantity time. Perhaps they can reduce office hours,stop carrying work home, sacrifice a bit of the social time spent with friends and dedicate their weekends to the family. Op I grew up in a boarding school from a very tender age without my mum and dad around everyday to supervise me and I turned out to be very responsible/survivor early in life, when most of my agemates were living with parents and acting like babies. . Some distance helps kids mature fast. |
Re: Who Has To Resign? by pinkrex(m): 12:45pm On Aug 12, 2011 |
pendo89: You think so? some of these parents are afraid of taking a house help or bringing a family member who might cause some problems in the family. Those kids stay alone after school, their mom would dish their food into a flask and always beg their neighbors to help serve. The little girl hardly knows her mum nimore. For the boarding school, you were lucky. 90% of kids turns out rude to their parents after school. Me i even became a bully after bschool. |
Re: Who Has To Resign? by pendo89(f): 12:58pm On Aug 12, 2011 |
pinkrex: Well being a bully was your choice.Instead of being bully, I became a survivor and it really shaped my life in a positive way. That bolded part is dangerous. You cannot not trust people with your kids anymore this days. If they dont have time for the kids at all then employing a maid will only serve to worsen the situation. They will stop showing face at home due to the nature of their work. I don't know but thousands of families all over the world are managing in this situation of theirs but if they decide that sacrificing a job is the way to go then its up to them to decide who will resign.By the way if that is their conclusion,to resign,then they should nt have trouble deciding who ! |
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