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Living Lovers --> A Bad Idea Before Marriage? - Romance - Nairaland

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Living Lovers --> A Bad Idea Before Marriage? by hitsales(m): 8:31am On Aug 20, 2007
Hi Guys,
Well, A friend of mine told me that I was being selfish not sharing all of that that I've been posting to Foreign Magazines and getting paid for it. He wanted me to share this to the Naija Families on here and help many that are "blind-folder" thinking they're in a relationship. Well, I guess I have alot to share and this is for starters. It meant to be targeted to both sexes and I hope this thread will help alot out there.
Okay let's get started with this --> This may offend some people, but it's just an opinion based on some statistics and from looking at real-world relationships. So, please do read with an open mind, even if you do not agree with the points made here.

Statistics show that most people who living together usually don’t ever marry, or the marriage generally ends in divorce. Many individuals (especially women) are doing themselves ill service by living with a partner in a intimate relationship, without being married. Some people argue that marriage is only a piece of paper signed and or meaningless. The part about being a piece of paper is partially true. The truth is when someone marries someone it's much more than that! Individuals are expressing to each other that they truly love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together.

One of the many reasons divorce rates are so high amongst people who have "shacked up" before marrying is that they anticipate that things will change after they are married. Some people believe that ultimately being married will all of a sudden make life seem perfect and the other person will change. The reality for most is that it does not happen. This disappointment is ultimately what makes many individuals to end the marriage.

Many men who living together never ending up marrying because many men simply do not feel the need to. If you look at it from a man's perspective, he is basically getting everything (and probably more than) a wife would give him without marriage, so why should he even bother? There is a comfort zone mostly for men who live with women they are not married to. There is no actual (or legal) commitment. He can leave whenever he wants with much less guilty feelings than if it was his wife. Women are most likely to want to marry as she knows in her subconscious mind of the fear that he may pick up his bags and leave at any time without too much emotional hassle.

This may sound brutal to some women, but there is a difference on how live-in girlfriends and wives are looked at by men. A man is much less likely to leave his wife than he is to leave his girlfriend. Men do leave their wives of course, but for the most part, men are much more likely to leave their girlfriends more easily and without guilt. It's a similar principal for men cheating on their girlfriend verses their wife. Again, this unquestionably happens where some men cheat on their wives, but a man will feel less guilty about cheating on his girlfriend then his wife.

The best solution is to not living together with someone if you are looking for a possible marriage partner. This will benefit women more than men, but it helps the marriage overall for both partners.
Re: Living Lovers --> A Bad Idea Before Marriage? by pinkttea(f): 8:43am On Aug 20, 2007
I HOPE ALL THE LADIES IN THE HOUSE GET THIS LOUD AND CLEAR

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Re: Living Lovers --> A Bad Idea Before Marriage? by IykeD(m): 9:29am On Aug 20, 2007
Well said, guys over to you. what ya think?
Re: Living Lovers --> A Bad Idea Before Marriage? by BABEELOVE(f): 9:55am On Aug 20, 2007
Desperation can make people do anything---hoping for "better" things to come.  Over my dead body, I say!  Ladies! Please get a sound education to be able to provide for yourselves! Get and keep your own shit!----always even if you are married! wink  Keep "the dog" in the "dog house" where it belongs!
Re: Living Lovers --> A Bad Idea Before Marriage? by NaJaHaJe(f): 10:25am On Aug 20, 2007
as they say; a word is enough for the wise!
Re: Living Lovers --> A Bad Idea Before Marriage? by godslead(f): 11:16am On Aug 20, 2007
pinkttea:

I HOPE ALL THE LADIES IN THE HOUSE GET THIS LOUD AND CLEAR

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@ pinkttea I hope so too o.And I also hope u got it too grin

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