agiboma: @ OP, last year December i could have written this post myself. My relationship was in shambles, came on NL family section posted my problems and well got pretty much the same response you got, from the same people. Listen work on your relationship as you have promised to do, things will change for you like they have for me. Ask g-d to help you and change your husbands attitude. You will see changes in him, he will return to teh man you originally fell in love with. Im also in this relationship for 10 years like you so i know. Today my home is happier place there is more understanding and appreciation. It does get better but it takes hard work. GL and you can do it.

agiboma: Well I worked on it my goal has always been to make the family work so my children dont grow up fatherless like i did. That was my motivation. So i started to see the route cause of the decay in my marriage and their where many, i started on the issues that where dividing us.

1.) Me being in another country for extended period of time, i went back to my home country for 18 months. This made hubby feel like i was not interested, nor did i want him to play a major role in bringing up our son. We decided that its not enough for him to visit every few months but i need to relocate permanently to Nigeria so he can feel more comforteble. I have done that.

2.) Money was another issue, he thought that i spent to much and demanded a lot from him. I decided to open up my business and day by day i am becoming more independant. My husband has seen the potential in my business and the work that i put into it daily and that has been a major turning point for us, as he is happy what i have done and im currently doing, he actually tells me he is prod of me.

3.) Reduce the nagging, i try not to complain that much put look past his shortcomings and i actually acknowledge his strenghts, he is a wonderful father and a great provider to me and my son, i let him know this and he know beleives that i see him that way and has softned up to me more.

4.) We talk more we still have issues our marriage is not perfect by any means, but we communicate and let each other know what is going on in our world. These days we work as a team and not independant contractors.

5.)We are both committed to raising our growing family and have an objective in mind, that we are working towards.

6.) I take time now to bring back the romance in our relationship and appearently it has worked well in many ways .

7.) I now have a good understanding of what triggers his anger, and i know know its best to let the anger subside and they try to communicate with him. Start to see him as a person that brings joy into your life and not misery, that change of perception is very important.

@ op get to know your husband again, you will be surprised to find out how you enjoy him again.GL

agiboma: @ OP, last year December i could have written this post myself. My relationship was in shambles, came on NL family section posted my problems and well got pretty much the same response you got, from the same people. Listen work on your relationship as you have promised to do, things will change for you like they have for me. Ask g-d to help you and change your husbands attitude. You will see changes in him, he will return to teh man you originally fell in love with. Im also in this relationship for 10 years like you so i know. Today my home is happier place there is more understanding and appreciation. It does get better but it takes hard work. GL and you can do it.

TheMadame: @ujujoan,
why are women our own worse enemies?
She said her husband has changed and she is now happy,why can't you let her be. She is the one wearing the shoes and knows where it pinches her.
Why do you cnose to believe the first story but refuse to believe her husband has changed story?
What do you mean that people can not change?
Please give it a rest. It is starting to sound boring.

Gayi: Pls i need advise from men and women of goodwill!
My husband has been cheating on me since 2000 i married him. I have on several occasions stumbled on sms from his harem of girls. I have even seen him twice with his girlfriends, one time they were making out in his car, the other time the girl was kissing him in a restaurant. It is always with a different girl. Any country, bank, office, school or location he finds himself he gets a girlfriend. He sleeps with them both married and unmarried and i never new that my husband has a flare for photography. He takes snapshots of these girls' nudity and stores in his phone. After i discovered these pictures and raised dust he decided to create a new mailbox that harbors these womens' pix and passwords his phone. Just yesterday i found a pack of used condom in his car. I took it and am not sure what to do with it for i know he will deny it. I am wondering if this is just a bad habit and if there is anything left for me in this marriage. Should i just hang on and see to my kids while he fools around. Or do i continue to show love and pray that God will touch his heart soon. What do i do?

Busy_body:


Just been in the health section. Glad you decided to not only stick it for your son but also found your God-given inner strength to reach out to the "less obvious" victim too. . . Congratulations also to the new bun in the oven. Wish you a safe journey second time round expectant Momma This is just the start, may your household continue to radiate peace that passeth human understanding and unlimited joy that knows no bound in Jesus' Name.

agiboma: Hmmm "mad people" u say,

People can change and my house is now a different place, i dont put a blind eye to anything, my house is the home of love, understanding and peace. .It took work to get to the point we are at but its worth i. When i see my son and the baby coming i know i am where i belong. Dont let negativity and hatred alter you thoughts on people change its possible, just have patience.

Ujujoan:

STFU!

Next please . . .

obowunmi: Also OP, how do you plan to protect yourself from HIV and STDs, you know a sick woman has no strength?

Do your children know ? Do you have a female child and what are you teaching her by staying with an unfaithful man ? Don't think children don't know ---- would you want any of your own children to remain with a cheating spouse ?

agiboma: Well I worked on it my goal has always been to make the family work so my children dont grow up fatherless like i did. That was my motivation. So i started to see the route cause of the decay in my marriage and their where many, i started on the issues that where dividing us.

1.) Me being in another country for extended period of time, i went back to my home country for 18 months. This made hubby feel like i was not interested, nor did i want him to play a major role in bringing up our son. We decided that its not enough for him to visit every few months but i need to relocate permanently to Nigeria so he can feel more comforteble. I have done that.

2.) Money was another issue, he thought that i spent to much and demanded a lot from him. I decided to open up my business and day by day i am becoming more independant. My husband has seen the potential in my business and the work that i put into it daily and that has been a major turning point for us, as he is happy what i have done and im currently doing, he actually tells me he is prod of me.

3.) Reduce the nagging, i try not to complain that much put look past his shortcomings and i actually acknowledge his strenghts, he is a wonderful father and a great provider to me and my son, i let him know this and he know beleives that i see him that way and has softned up to me more.

4.) We talk more we still have issues our marriage is not perfect by any means, but we communicate and let each other know what is going on in our world. These days we work as a team and not independant contractors.

5.)We are both committed to raising our growing family and have an objective in mind, that we are working towards.

6.) I take time now to bring back the romance in our relationship and appearently it has worked well in many ways .

7.) I now have a good understanding of what triggers his anger, and i know know its best to let the anger subside and they try to communicate with him. Start to see him as a person that brings joy into your life and not misery, that change of perception is very important.

@ op get to know your husband again, you will be surprised to find out how you enjoy him again.GL

TheMadame:

Like I said the brains of an infant trapped inside a womans body.
Be careful how you point those cowardly fingers of yours because the rest all point directly back at you.
Do you know where your huisband is right now?
Did you know where he was this afternoon or in the morning?
Smart mouth,he was probably with a hooker getting a blown.
Oloriburuku akunakuna.

TheMadame:

The joke is on you my dear toady.
I am patiently waitig for your soon to come thread about your husband cheating on you with your best friend.
Remember the wife is always the last to hear.

debrief08: Somebody asked a question, the person they asked answered her without insults, the question asker congratulated the poster, someone else has taken it as her duty to respond with insults, even when the insults have not been reciprocated. na wa oh

TheMadame:

why are people such hypocrites?
Did you not see the b1tcthes comment about my husband?
Please if you can not be fair in judgement,mind your own business.

debrief08:
I didnt see oh, Se asked Agiboma a question you jumped in and attacked, Agi herself answered, Uju even congratulated her, yoiu still insulted her for doing so.
I am not qualified to tell you how to behave but I can beg you to ease up on the insults. It is not worth it, any word we say online or offline will be recorded for and against us, you can disagree without insults

TheMadame:

you will not see because you are biased. Is this how biased you are in real life?
After half of the exchanges had been hidden you ar now here giving sanctimonious judgement?
Well your lordship your biased judgement is unacceptable to me. Did you not see her remarks that my husband is a cheat? I gave it back to her and the coward scampered to the mods.
I hope you realise there is a God and he will judge you for your skewered and biased views.
Please in future mind your business. You are not my mother!