Are you for or against living together before marriage? All the couples I know who lived together before marriage are having issues now. What I notice the most is the husband tends to not appreciate his wife and the wife complains a lot about her husband. The couples I am thinking of are Nigerian w/Nigerian, Nigerian w/African-American and African-Americans together. What's your take?

the matter of who the person gets married to(nigerian or african-american) has nothing to do with breakup rates get higher and higher due ot the fact that ppl seem to think its ok to live together before getting married.I think its wrong.if the man is not yet ur husband why would u live together, I'll put it like this:if u live together then most likely u'll be sharing a bed and when u share a bed that means ur most likely goin to have sex in that bed.men and women should only lay together in a bed if they are married

Most of the married people I know were sleeping together before they got married. I think the reason why women fair out worse if they lived together is the man was in no suspense about her. She started performing wifey duties before they got married. When two people are in a relationship and live seperately, there's usually some anticipation about seeing each other again.

What is marriage? Marriage is an agreement between a man and a woman. Until recent times, african marriage didn't have anything to do with church, and they lasted. I have met couples who slept together the first day they met, and they are still together to this day. I have also met people who didn't sleep together until they got married, yet are divorced now. Don't believe the hype.

living together be4 marriage do not determine if you would have probs later or not, there are issues and circumstances, so i have no prob with living together be4 marriage

What is marriage? Marriage is an agreement between a man and a woman. Until recent times, african marriage didn't have anything to do with church, and they lasted. I have met couples who slept together the first day they met, and they are still together to this day. I have also met people who didn't sleep together until they got married, yet are divorced now. Don't believe the hype.

Me:

This is a typical man's response. Any woman who thinks she's married to a man who didn't officially marry her is crazy (i.e. paperwork involved). I think it's healthy for couples to at least wait a few months before sleeping together. Men like to say it doesn't matter, but it really does.

Honestly! I dont buy the idea of two people staying 2geda b4 marriage.The truth is the both of them lose their value b4 each other cos there isnt anythng new and exciting anymore.

Sorry! Love the sound of my car/apartment keys in my pocket. Please take your toothbrush with you when you leave in the morning!!!!!

Living together before marriage? Very bad idea---I can never respect such a guy! Tufiakwa! ---I do not like men or women who are not independent! Get your own shit! When you are married--still keep some of your own shit!

Is not advisable for a girl to live in her guy’s house before marriage. You can pay him visits occasionally but living with him is totally out of the question.

The disadvantage there is that he may get tired of you and there would be nothing you would have to offer to him since he has had you to his satisfaction. That’s where cheating begins. So ladies, if you man tells you to come over to his place, you better give it a second thought.

crazykid:

Is not advisable for a girl to live in her guy’s house before marriage. You can pay him visits occasionally but living with him is totally out of the question.

The disadvantage there is that he may get tired of you and there would be nothing you would have to offer to him since he has had you to his satisfaction. That’s where cheating begins. So ladies, if you man tells you to come over to his place, you better give it a second thought.

good one there

So u dont thnk it is better for him to get tired of you now, while you are yet to marry than wait till you are married and yuo will be in his face all the time, and then start cheating then as well, i dont see no arguement in that at all, if tha man will get tire of you, he surely will, yuo not living with him be4 marriage is not the point

De vivre ensemble avant de marié, c'est or de question. Je ne peut le faire. C'est le chose plus pires dans ce monde.

Chiori, u too

C'est quoi?

Really,living together before marriage. If you are ready for marriage,simply get married.Period.

In a naija setting, living together before marriage benefits the man more than the woman.

As many women can testify after years of cohabiting only to get dumped.

If the man isnt "into" marriage, thats a red flag right there. Shady character.

@$$Rhino
You made the most valuable point.
Will they not eventually leave together after they get married? and who says after getting married, people don't or wont get tired of each other
Wipe the dreams of your fantasy marriage and prepare to experience real marriage that can only survive on love, trust, endurance, e.t.c, All wonderlands are in books,

i'm against it. i dont see the benefit of it. it does more harm than any intended good imo.

I've done it, but I do not agree with it. I think people should not live together as a try eachother out untill after they are married.

good for the man.

cant say the same for the woman, especially if the couple is naija.

Living together b4 marriage should be seen in two ways, one- trying to know one another better, secondly securing your nest b4 laying the egg, you never can tell, out of sight maybe out of mind, you can imagine eagle eye ladies of this days, taking over what you may have for years struggled to gather, in the name of living away from each other, Just don't support it especially when the unions goal will eventually leads to marriage, Let's not pretend out all, now tell me, how many were virgin b4 marriage, Though my opinion may differ, but pls throw my words and take me,

If a man gets tired of u jus because u r livin wit him, den i think he's also gonna get tired of u wen u both tie d knot, nd he realises dat u r actually gonna be livin wit him 4 eva!, my point is who wan tire go tire!, livin 2geda or not!,

Wrong any way you look at it. Sorry thats my opinion. From a religious and moral point of view (african culture).
I'm not necessarily saying that it always affect a relationship in the long term or accounts for higher rates of divorce. But to me, it's not about feelings, it's just wrong period.

A lot of your response guys are okay, before you love someone and ready to marry that person, i think either you must have seen what you desire. i.e maturity. People who never leave together before marriage is having a break in marriage and also people who leaves together before marriage are still living until dead do them part.
Which ever way you plan your life for future, it's left for you.
To be on a save side, if you leave together and think and believe you will marry eacth other, go ahead, never stop half way. Except you are a play boy and girl, then problems comes.
Are you gonna tell me that, every marriage in this universe has been legalised? Yet they have children and are happily living together even has you are thinking now.

if you leave together and think and believe you will marry eacth other, go ahead, never stop half way

that is all, _{even though the rest of your post is somehow.}

a word is enough for the wise.

Seems to be wrong in all aspects.

;d ;d ;d

Not adviceable either.

it seems it is wrong the last time i check, but come to think abt it oh, whats are the odds even if u stay 2gether b4 marriage,after marriage it does not make any differences the main thing is that are u guys compatable, if yes.then what nxt

If my boyfriend and I are living together what is the point of gettin married ?? So I can carry the Mrs title?? I believe that living together defys the marriage institution. I mean nowadays they have common law marriages which is when a couple lives together as though they are husband and wife with children included. I mean everday our morals are being challenged: one can now be involved in premarital sex, one can now live together b4 marriage, one can now divorce, it's now common for spouses to cheat on each other in fact baby #2 doesn't belong to hubby, what next

None of the responses here actually touched upon the actual problems of living together before marriage. Pretty much everyone is saying: "if you live together before marriage (and then have sex) or with the woman performing "wifely" duties, at some point the man could get bored and start cheating".

Hmm. . . and what is so special about "wifely" duties after marriage that would keep someone from not getting bored them.

The real reason is that not all relationships last. When you get to the point where you are getting married, you have reached a point of deeper commitment to each other. Living together before this point can create lots of problems for the two parties if thing should come to an end. Who will move out? Where will they go? How will you divide what has become common property? Etc.

Those are better reasons to reconsider living together before marriage than purely "maybe he'll get tired".

wish kain togetherness does poster mean, you mean like if they are both student then man and hin babe living together throughout academic year or [b]when girl visits 4 weekend and leaves on monday or sunday [/b]cos mi nuh see anyting wrong in weekend visit