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How Do You Know When It's Time To Move On - Romance - Nairaland

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How Do You Know When It's Time To Move On by Theyemmie: 7:40pm On Feb 16, 2023
So from the beginning the relationship was perfect,he was the best ,normally he's not my type of guy,but he was there for me when I was at a low point in my life,we started as friends, then feelings developed, and he was the absolute best,no guy has ever treated me like that
So he asked for my hand in marriage, normally I am a pessimist, I expect the worst,create different scenarios in my head and how I would react when it happens and stuffs
So when he talked about the marriage stuff , I started thinking about what would go wrong (because he's kind of boring ,not spontaneous and not wild a lil bit),so I started thinking if the marriage would be boring and if I won't get tired of him as he's not my usual type of guy

so I sent a message to someone asking for advice ,then mistakenly he saw it and it turned to yam pepper scatter scatter sha
I begged him ,he really cried that I have been stringing him along ,which is not so,I do love him a lot
I begged him sha and we continued the relationship, but the relationship has changed a lot,he's not even asking for my hand in marriage again
I'm the one pestering him
and when I threaten him with break up ,he begs me not to,that he's just taking his time with me
This issue happened 2yrs ago o,how long is it going to take


I just feel I should break up with him,but can't seem to let him go
Is it some kind of pay back?
And I am not getting any younger

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do You Know When It's Time To Move On by Muffassa: 9:06pm On Feb 16, 2023
You should judge yourself
If na you will you go ahead with the marriage proposal despite what you saw? the story sef no clear the guy wasn't your type but yet you developed feelings for him.
After using the guy to your advantage then you realise he's not the type of man you wanted for marriage.
Just so you know hanty marriage is different from dating if you wasn't sure about him trust your instincts.

51 Likes 4 Shares

Re: How Do You Know When It's Time To Move On by Nobody: 9:36pm On Feb 16, 2023
.

19 Likes 4 Shares

Re: How Do You Know When It's Time To Move On by Autobot05: 11:59pm On Feb 16, 2023
Upcoming ENP

Damn we have enough ENPs already na

12 Likes

Re: How Do You Know When It's Time To Move On by HRHQueenPhil(f): 12:13am On Feb 17, 2023
Give him sometime

Send people to apologize to him

Don't give up on him and keep asking Holy Spirit for direction on the matter. He will come thru for u

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do You Know When It's Time To Move On by pansophist(m): 7:13am On Feb 17, 2023
You just described a good man, so tell me how exactly is a good man not your type? When people talk about "type", if I scratch deep a bit, they will mention superficial things that they will probably outgrow, and have no bearing to sustaining a relationship.

You can't have all in one person. You must compromise. If you meet " your type", he probably will have some qualities that you hate. So you must know that you're paying a price if you think you can just dump a good man. You're a lady, and being emotional can be your worse enemy.

To answer your question, you know it's time to move on when your effort has seized to be reciprocated. If you're the only one initiating, sustaining and perpetuating the relationship, then sign off. You'll be hurt, but it's better than loosing yourself.

You can't negotiate on being weak, and staying in a place where your presence is not appreciated is weakness, you'll lose yourself. It's like trying to score a goal, but the goal post is move farther and farther everytime you approach the scoring line.

And as a woman, you should understand your nature. Women are highly neurotic, meaning that you see negativities and pessimism where they are none. Scientist argued that it's because women carry the young, so their sense of danger is sharper than men. Women are physically weak as well, especially during pregnancy.

The last card you should play now is to discuss with him and tell him honestly that you know things have changed since he saw your message, and that you don't want to waste time if there are no future in this relationship. That you fully accepted the responsibility of your mistake.

Then make a decision from his response. You may need the help of a trusted, neutral person, because your emotions may overshadow reasoning. This discussion may be hard, but if you don't have it, you'll pay a costlier price, which is, your time.

As a woman, you can't afford to waste time on a fruitless relationship, I'm sure I don't have to remind this to you. Next time, don't make stupid mistake. You don't have a monopoly of "my type". There are places he wished you were better, but he accepted you. Why can't you do the same?

140 Likes 11 Shares

Re: How Do You Know When It's Time To Move On by Theyemmie: 8:36am On Feb 17, 2023
pansophist:
You just described a good man, so tell me how exactly is a good man not your type? When people talk about "type", if I scratch deep a bit, they will mention superficial things that they will probably outgrow, and have no bearing to sustaining a relationship.

You can't have all in one person. You must compromise. If you meet " your type", he probably will have some qualities that you hate. So you must know that you're paying a price if you think you can just dump a good man. You're a lady, and being emotional can be your worse enemy.

To answer your question, you know it's time to move on when your effort has seized to be reciprocated. If you're the only one initiating, sustaining and perpetuating the relationship, then sign off. You'll be hurt, but it's better than loosing yourself.

You can't negotiate on being weak, and staying in a place where your presence is not appreciated is weakness, you'll lose yourself. It's like trying to score a goal, but the goal post is move farther and farther everytime you approach the scoring line.

And as a woman, you should understand your nature. Women are highly neurotic, meaning that you see negativities and pessimism where they are none. Scientist argued that it's because women carry the young, so their sense of danger is sharper than men. Women are physically weak as well, especially during pregnancy.

The last card you should play now is to discuss with him and tell him honestly that you know things have changed since he saw your message, and that you don't want to waste time if there are no future in this relationship. That you fully accepted the responsibility of your mistake.

Then make a decision from his response. You may need the help of a trusted, neutral person, because your emotions may overshadow reasoning. This discussion may be hard, but if you don't have it, you'll pay a costlier price, which is, your time.

As a woman, you can't afford to waste time on a fruitless relationship, I'm sure I don't have to remind this to you. Next time, don't make stupid mistake. You don't have a monopoly of "my type". There are places he wished you were better, but he accepted you. Why can't you do the same?





Yes they were superficial things,and I thought about it and came to my senses,because it's not worth losing him over
And no one is perfect
But now I have messed everything up
Thanks so much for the advice
God bless

33 Likes 3 Shares

Re: How Do You Know When It's Time To Move On by zed7: 9:28am On Feb 17, 2023
The ball is no longer in your court, it's now in the man's court. Women choose whom to date, men choose whom to propose to.

You claim to love him and you're asking for external advice? You don't love him. Love accepts every imperfection.

36 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Do You Know When It's Time To Move On by mbahdi(m): 12:59pm On Feb 17, 2023
If u av old note bring it to oyo state we are still accepting it.we all owns Nigeria together and no one will detect for us

1 Like

Re: How Do You Know When It's Time To Move On by dapsoneh: 12:59pm On Feb 17, 2023
R
Re: How Do You Know When It's Time To Move On by StrongAlphMale: 12:59pm On Feb 17, 2023
normally he's not my type of guy

Any girl who tells a guy the above statement is a prostitute, an olosho and a runz girl.

The average Nigerian girl is confused and don't know what they want. The op is a clear example. He is not your type and yet you developed feelings for him? I'm sure you were with him because of the little money he was giving you. Olosho! You want a wild guy and yet you're with this one? You really think guys are stupid or what? you wanted to play smart by using and dumping him, but in the process he outsmarted you.

I'll urge that young man to dump you ASAP and move on with his life. Until you fully turn into an evening newspaper na then you go get sense

18 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Do You Know When It's Time To Move On by Chevrolet076(m): 1:00pm On Feb 17, 2023
Theyemmie:
So from the beginning the relationship was perfect,he was the best ,normally he's not my type of guy,but he was there for me when I was at a low point in my life,we started as friends, then feelings developed, and he was the absolute best,no guy has ever treated me like that
So he asked for my hand in marriage, normally I am a pessimist, I expect the worst,create different scenarios in my head and how I would react when it happens and stuffs
So when he talked about the marriage stuff , I started thinking about what would go wrong (because he's kind of boring ,not spontaneous and not wild a lil bit),so I started thinking if the marriage would be boring and if I won't get tired of him as he's not my usual type of guy

so I sent a message to someone asking for advice ,then mistakenly he saw it and it turned to yam pepper scatter scatter sha
I begged him ,he really cried that I have been stringing him along ,which is not so,I do love him a lot
I begged him sha and we continued the relationship, but the relationship has changed a lot,he's not even asking for my hand in marriage again
I'm the one pestering him
and when I threaten him with break up ,he begs me not to,that he's just taking his time with me
This issue happened 2yrs ago o,how long is it going to take


I just feel I should break up with him,but can't seem to let him go
Is it some kind of pay back?
And I am not getting any younger


I don't know about other men, but once you begin threatening a guy with breakup, for me, that's a red flag because it means you have other options you're looking forward to and you're only managing to get along with me or you are staying temporarily because of some reasons I'm yet to discover. And immediately i sense that, I'd never take you serious again. I'd just keep getting along with you and enjoy the benefits that the "sexlationship" brings till everything dies a natural death or you decide to finally breakup. Meanwhile, I'd have had alternatives. It's not wickedness, it's the way you wanted it to be.

Q.E.D

Meanwhile, you should hold on tight to the advise given by pansophist.

23 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Do You Know When It's Time To Move On by saphiere(f): 1:00pm On Feb 17, 2023
Theyemmie:
So from the beginning the relationship was perfect,he was the best ,normally he's not my type of guy,but he was there for me when I was at a low point in my life,we started as friends, then feelings developed, and he was the absolute best,no guy has ever treated me like that
So he asked for my hand in marriage, normally I am a pessimist, I expect the worst,create different scenarios in my head and how I would react when it happens and stuffs
So when he talked about the marriage stuff , I started thinking about what would go wrong (because he's kind of boring ,not spontaneous and not wild a lil bit),so I started thinking if the marriage would be boring and if I won't get tired of him as he's not my usual type of guy

so I sent a message to someone asking for advice ,then mistakenly he saw it and it turned to yam pepper scatter scatter sha
I begged him ,he really cried that I have been stringing him along ,which is not so,I do love him a lot
I begged him sha and we continued the relationship, but the relationship has changed a lot,he's not even asking for my hand in marriage again
I'm the one pestering him
and when I threaten him with break up ,he begs me not to,that he's just taking his time with me
This issue happened 2yrs ago o,how long is it going to take


I just feel I should break up with him,but can't seem to let him go
Is it some kind of pay back?
And I am not getting any younger

* When he tries to rule over you. Seeing himself as a lord.
*When he starts acting like a child. (Sadly most men behave this way)
*When he wants your 100% faithfully when he is not married to you.
*When he starts getting jealous unnecessarily.
*When he starts thinking with his third leg instead of his brain.
*When most of the times he talks about sex and want sex than anything else.
*When he does not contribution positively to your life.
*When he starts policing you (checking your phones).
*When he wears one boxer for days.
*When he only bath and clean his house when he is expecting a guest.
*When he cannot take care of your financial needs.
*When he does not respect women.
*When he sees women as sex objects.
*When he has nothing to offer except his third leg (sadly all of them only have that to offer).

3 Likes

Re: How Do You Know When It's Time To Move On by gaby(m): 1:00pm On Feb 17, 2023
Dem no dey telli person...

Na body go phone your brain wey go come activate your legs to begin waka... grin

Signed,

Moving on

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do You Know When It's Time To Move On by jimmyolasun: 1:00pm On Feb 17, 2023
When its becoming hard to off the paynt cheesy

1 Like 1 Share

Re: How Do You Know When It's Time To Move On by Aboguede(m): 1:00pm On Feb 17, 2023
This is the teaching of the quran today grin

"pay people their dues"

That boy was lucky though he is a real nigga grin

U are little feminist in delusion grin

Anyways, u have time to do the right thing only if u can avoid evil feminist friends grin

9 Likes

Re: How Do You Know When It's Time To Move On by Irondome1: 1:00pm On Feb 17, 2023
You messed up big time and it's time to leave or you will be served breakfast, lunch and dinner at once.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Know When It's Time To Move On by atobs4real(m): 1:00pm On Feb 17, 2023
every thing will happen unplanned and that's all
Re: How Do You Know When It's Time To Move On by victoryaddict(m): 1:01pm On Feb 17, 2023
Normally I don't do these but due to the situation being so serious I decided to. My name is Victor, My elder brother, a father of 3 kids of which the eldest of them is 4 years old is down on the sickbed for about 2 months ago now, diagnosed with Colon obstruction and (metastatic adenocarsinoma) colon cancer. ever since the sickness began, we've been rallying around to get money, it's been a serious issue that one should not imagine, done countless of tests, brought series of drugs, bought many medical materials etc now the former is treated through colostomy surgery which will be reversed, remaining the later (Colon cancer) which would cost #3million. We The family have spent and exhausting our financial capacity cuz it really cost a lot for the treatment and surgery for the colon obstruction. Doctors gave us assurance that my brother will live if there is enough money for his treatment cuz the tumor has not gotten to any vital part of his body. And this is why we are calling on every well meaning people to help us financially. pls we and his little kids can't afford to lose him now. pls🙏 help my dieing brother 😔 nothing is too small
Acct number:2236303986
Acc name: Victor Bamisaye
Bank: UBA
May God bless the source of your income.
Thanks
Re: How Do You Know When It's Time To Move On by StrongAlphMale: 1:01pm On Feb 17, 2023
HRHQueenPhil:
Give him sometime

Send people to apologize to him

Don't give up on him and keep asking Holy Spirit for direction on the matter. He will come thru for u

You think men are fools or what?

That young man has since moved on.

The op should do likewise

11 Likes

Re: How Do You Know When It's Time To Move On by Raj10(m): 1:02pm On Feb 17, 2023
Muffassa:
You should judge yourself
If na you will you go ahead with the marriage proposal despite what you saw? the story sef no clear the guy wasn't your type but yet you developed feelings for him.
After using the guy to your advantage then you realise he's not the type of man you wanted for marriage.
Just so you know hanty marriage is different from dating if you wasn't sure about him trust your instincts.
💯
Re: How Do You Know When It's Time To Move On by GRACEGLORY: 1:04pm On Feb 17, 2023
Your shoes will tell you.



It's simply, when you spend more time dwelling on past memories rather than the present.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Know When It's Time To Move On by kennyz247(m): 1:04pm On Feb 17, 2023
oj
Re: How Do You Know When It's Time To Move On by atdscentofwater: 1:05pm On Feb 17, 2023
seems he's buying time wt u, just sit him and ask what next wt us.
Deep talk, afterwhich u make ur conclusion
Re: How Do You Know When It's Time To Move On by emmanuel596(m): 1:05pm On Feb 17, 2023
When he ghosted you that's when you remembered he wasn't you kind of guy....go to hell with your sad story

8 Likes 1 Share

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