REALITY101:

Yawn- - -> Next please

aloy/emeka:

Dear Taiwo,

You are the only one who can help me out of this present predicament I am in. It is as if the whole world is against me and I am all alone.

The person who shocked me most is my mother; we have never had any cause to disagree to this extent since I have known her. She has always been on my side even when everyone felt otherwise. My siblings always accused her of bias when it comes to my issues, but I took this for granted.

She loved me to a fault, that was why her disappointment when I impregnated our neighbour’s daughter really got at me. Tinuke and I grew up together, although I was some few years older than her, we were playmates. We attended the same primary school. She joined our school the year I got promoted to primary four and without soliciting for it, I naturally became her guardian in school.

I would leave home in the morning, stop by her house so that we could walk to school together. Sometimes I had to wait for her to finish eating and other things so that we could go to school together. She equally took her turn to wait on me when I had to stay back in school for extra lessons in preparation for my entrance examinations.

It was because of her that I decided to go to a mixed school as against all boys’ school that my parents wanted me to attend. I insisted on this with the hope that Tinuke would join me when she finished from the primary school. But that was not to be as her parents insisted that she would attend a girls’ only school.

This, however, did not disturb our friendship. Whenever we came home on holidays, we still had enough time for each other. When I sit to think about how our relationship started, I think our separation at this level led to it.

Our closeness brought our parents together and we had always been referred to as husband and wife back then, so I don’t know why this should cause any problem. Their relationships, however, became strained when I came home after my Secondary School Certificate Examinations (SSCE) and I began to hear different stories which involved my father and Tinuke’s mother.

My siblings who were at home told me that Tinuke’s mother was dating my father and it has become a big scandal between the two families. They warned me not to get close to them or have anything to do with Tinuke again. All they said then, even now, made no sense to me; all I knew was the fact that I cared about Tinuke and I would do anything to be with her.

Then, we were just friends. I could remember how I used to sneak out of the house to catch up with her whenever she was sent on an errand. Of course she also had been warned by her people to stay clear of me, as our sneaking around then was mutual.

Things remained this way until I went to the university. The day I had to go to school was a tough one for both of us; it was as if both sides knew we would want to have some time together and they made up their minds not to allow this happen. We were able to outsmart them, and we eventually got to see. It was the first time we declared the way we felt about each other and I still cannot forget that moment.

Anyway, Tinuke assured me that she equally would study hard so that she would join me in school in no time and this she did.

I however, received the shock of my life when I came home on one of my holidays to learn that Tinuke’s dad had sent Tinuke, her mum and other siblings packing from their home as a result of the trouble generated by the accusation and counter accusations that my father was dating her mother.

I was devastated when I heard this news because I thought I would never see her again, but she was wise enough to send words to me through another friend of ours who was in the same school with her. Unfortunately, for both families, their movement made us closer as we were able to see each other without their prying eyes.

I really did not know how it happened, but on the day Tinuke received her admission letter to join me at the university, I took her out to celebrate, we retired to her house as her mother and only sibling were away from home and we Were Intimate. Both of us were virgins and before the end of that month we repeated this several times.

This led to Tinuke getting pregnant and before she herself knew what was happening, her mother found out and raised alarm. Everyone in my family almost disowned me. I was the only son and the last born. I had four sisters and all of them supported my mother while I had the support of my father only.
Although, she had no cause to, Tinuke’s mother made her defer her admission for a year, she delivered a baby boy. My family members were not interested in seeing the baby while Tinuke’s mother did not want to see me either. It was only my father who saw my son and told me who he looked like.

He also assured me that everything would eventually sort itself out, but unfortunately, he died the very month my baby was born. This further worsened the hostility between the two families as my mother and siblings accused Tinuke’s mother of killing my father with juju.

Eventually, she joined me in school while I was in 400 level. Of course we continued with our relationship. I went for my youth service and got a good job afterwards. She equally finished and after her youth service, we made known our intentions to get married.

Since then, things have not remained the same for us all. I am very okay and can call anybody’s bluff to marry her, but I don’t have the heart to hurt my mother, yet she is accusing me of hurting her. Please, help me. What can I do?

Adeyemi.

http://tribune.com.ng/index.php/heartcopy/27540-how-do-i-get-out-of-this-mess