This is the answer.




quote author=frozen70 post=124075132]

I was expecting you to make one or two relevant examples about her stubbornness but you skipped that part

Well you must have counseled her enough

You have to see yourself as the only ones standing in this circumstance

For you to live long for yourself and the children, just do what you can and move on

Any one you can't, just ignore it

You can force a horse to the stream but you can't force the horse to drink water

So just ignore her, life will teach her with experience [/quote]

Op,
1 what do think is making her behave like this?
2. Does she normally complain about anything you're doing or not doing?
3. Who do you think you can report her to (trusted somebody) that she will listen to?
4. Are you justifiable satisfied that you're playing your manly roles very well?
5. Do you think she's probably under stress... bcus one under stressed tends to be hot tempered?
6. Have you go into the place of prayer on this issue?

May God restore you home ....Amen

Every good thing needs prayer a challenge also needs the same. Put her in God's hands and have faith then all her strong-headedness will melt into love. In all this continue to love and care for her and tell her the disadvantages of such an act.

saphiere:

1. You are a dictator. Unfortunately you got married to a stubborn person whom you can't control or dictate for. Since you cannot told her into your pocket has you men do, you become frustrated.

2. Of course she will do the opposite because what you want her to do is not to her benefits or the benefit of the children. Man is selfish by nature. So whatever you want her to do is not to her benefit. Just your selfish interest. Because I see no reason she will do the opposite.

3. Why do I feel you've been carrying out the domestic violence on her before now? Or you just want to do it and you're here to seek for validation?

---

Guys I need a job. Not easy to keep up with the life as a girl child. So many bills to pay.
Hair
Pads
Creame
Dresses
Food
Etc

you self need job? Lol lol lol abi na mistake u do lol.

saphiere:

1. You are a dictator. Unfortunately you got married to a stubborn person whom you can't control or dictate for. Since you cannot told her into your pocket has you men do, you become frustrated.

2. Of course she will do the opposite because what you want her to do is not to her benefits or the benefit of the children. Man is selfish by nature. So whatever you want her to do is not to her benefit. Just your selfish interest. Because I see no reason she will do the opposite.

3. Why do I feel you've been carrying out the domestic violence on her before now? Or you just want to do it and you're here to seek for validation?

---

Guys I need a job. Not easy to keep up with the life as a girl child. So many bills to pay.
Hair
Pads
Creame
Dresses
Food
Etc

Jobless and frustrated ladies always reason this way.

TBH women who weren’t raised with parental love are difficult to handle in marriage. Have a honest communication and see things from her perspective and if still same, see a therapist or marriage counselor.

Have a meeting with her, communicate to your concerns and how it affects you. Create rules for yourselves, you both must agree to the rules. And also learn to ignore sometimes, you both will be fine.

naice:
I find myself facing a difficult situation in my marriage and would greatly appreciate your insights and advice. The issue at hand revolves around my wife's unwillingness to listen to me. I'm at a loss as to why she behaves this way, and it's starting to take a toll on our relationship.

To provide some context, my wife has a strong-headed personality, which often leads to conflicts between us. No matter how gently I communicate my concerns or requests, she seems to disregard them and even does the opposite. This behavior frustrates me and leaves me questioning our compatibility.

One possible explanation I've considered is her background as an orphan. She lost her parents at a young age and had to take on the responsibility of caring for herself and her siblings. While I understand the challenges she faced, it seems like her self-reliance has translated into a resistance to accepting input or guidance from others, including me.

At this point, I have contemplated divorce, but there's a significant factor holding me back: our children. I love them deeply and cannot bear the thought of being separated from them. As much as her strong-headedness affects me, I firmly believe that domestic violence is never an option.

I'm reaching out to this community for reasonable opinions and advice on how to navigate this situation. Have any of you experienced a similar dynamic in your relationships? How did you cope with a spouse who doesn't listen? Are there effective strategies to foster better communication and understanding in such circumstances?

Thank you in advance for your support and guidance. Your insights will be invaluable in helping me make an informed decision about the future of my marriage."

Have a meeting with her to express your concerns and need for her to listen to you. Create rules for yourselves around it, you both must agree to the rules. And learn to ignore sometimes. You both will be fine. I also hope you are not too authoritative, if yes, be diplomatic and bold.

naice:
I find myself facing a difficult situation in my marriage and would greatly appreciate your insights and advice. The issue at hand revolves around my wife's unwillingness to listen to me. I'm at a loss as to why she behaves this way, and it's starting to take a toll on our relationship.

To provide some context, my wife has a strong-headed personality, which often leads to conflicts between us. No matter how gently I communicate my concerns or requests, she seems to disregard them and even does the opposite. This behavior frustrates me and leaves me questioning our compatibility.

One possible explanation I've considered is her background as an orphan. She lost her parents at a young age and had to take on the responsibility of caring for herself and her siblings. While I understand the challenges she faced, it seems like her self-reliance has translated into a resistance to accepting input or guidance from others, including me.

At this point, I have contemplated divorce, but there's a significant factor holding me back: our children. I love them deeply and cannot bear the thought of being separated from them. As much as her strong-headedness affects me, I firmly believe that domestic violence is never an option.

I'm reaching out to this community for reasonable opinions and advice on how to navigate this situation. Have any of you experienced a similar dynamic in your relationships? How did you cope with a spouse who doesn't listen? Are there effective strategies to foster better communication and understanding in such circumstances?

Thank you in advance for your support and guidance. Your insights will be invaluable in helping me make an informed decision about the future of my marriage."

The intuitive thing to do is to ask for help, so well done for that.

However, it doesn't work out well in reality. Most people you are asking advice for about a Christian home would give you advice based on head knowledge, and based on sentiments. You'll have to go back to the One who crafted marriage and the union between man and woman to get a sincere and unbiased answer, as well as help in the place of your pain.

What I believe will help is getting rooted in God, and rediscovering your place as king, head and priest over your home, and asking God for wisdom to express this. Lead your home with the aim of pleasing God, and not your wife, and making eternity at the end of the day.

When Eve made man sin, going forward the Bible held the man accountable. You are accountable for your home and how things turn out and not your wife. She is there to help and support you but if she usurps your authority, then she is in error. Don't let your wife ruine your home in the same pattern as eve. Discover your headship and leadership. Not by arguing and fighting, but by first aligning 100% to the headship of God, and asking him for wisdom and boldness to assume headship of your home.

So how do you practically deal with this?

Make sure you repent and have a clean hand and heart towards God and your fellow men. If your wife has a weak point with which she holds you Ransome e.g She paid for your marriage, she caught you cheating, she knows you as a cheat at work etc, repent and recognise that God has forgiven and forgotten, so no man has the right to hold this against you.

Be closer to God and read his word daily, make His word the favourite thing in the world. Let his world build you into the King, priest and prophet of your home that you are.

Honour, respect, love and be kind to your wife. Read the bible verses about family relationship e.g 1st Peter 3 and Ephesians, and especially focus on your own role and not on the "submission" role of your wife. Many men read those verses to remind women about submission, rather than what the bible ask them to do. God will judge any wife that is not submissive or obedient to "her own husband", but imposing that justice and judgement does not lie in your hands. God will also judge any man that overburdens and impose excessive burden on his wife.

Ask God for wisdom and the guidance of the holy spirit. Look into Him as your head, and true judge.

Your wife should align by this stage. If she doesn't, then give her up to God to judge. Don't let her character get to you, and this can only be by the help of God. Sometimes you'll get angry, go into your room and release that anger and pain in prayers.

The devil is happy when women appropriate authority over men and attempt to ruine homes, because he knows that by weakening the leadership structure in a home, he can weaken the family and then society, but by God's mercy, He will overcome Satan on our behalf.

This write up is only scratching the surface and it takes a couple of days seminar to work through these. I have been there before, I am still on the path, but I have overcome by the blood of the Lamb, and because I surrendered my masculinity to Christ, I will gain it back a thousand fold to lead my family in the way of the Lord and his truth, so will you.

God's blessing, peace, favour and strength to you and you family always

PonziHater

frozen70:


I was expecting you to make one or two relevant examples about her stubbornness but you skipped that part

Well you must have counseled her enough

You have to see yourself as the only ones standing in this circumstance

For you to live long for yourself and the children, just do what you can and move on

Any one you can't, just ignore it

You can force a horse to the stream but you can't force the horse to drink water

So just ignore her, life will teach her with experience

Well said but then this is not a case of life will teach her with experience because the man will definitely be concerned or directly or indirectly affected by the outcome of her strong headedness what is the mans business in the first place if it does not affect him emotionally and sometimes financially too this is a wife with whom he had kids he is talking about not a girl friend. I tell you from experience this situation can be frustrating and even makes the man feel less of a man as his instructions and or advice are not being regarded or followed in his own home this kind of attitude can go a long way to affect the kids in future. The wife need to come to an understanding that she is under an authority and should start to see the husband as a father. From what OP said the woman seems to have adapted to self reliance which is good but disobeying the husband’s instructions is not good to me it depicts she does not truly love the man.
However that should not end the union rather I feel the husband should just let her and play ignorance to some things in the house stop advising stop asking questions just act like you see nothing but not kind of keeping malice..oo
Again too much togetherness and over familiarity helps her attitude because most women tend to reduce the respect they have for a man the moment they sleeps with him or sees him on regular. I have realized that men whose jobs takes them away from home like weeks away and few weeks at home often have little or no problems with their wives. Because when you are home you would always see things that are going the way you do not want to go and when you complain or gets angry over it for some women instead of apology would take to anger against you for complaining about that which they also knew is wrong.

May God Help all Married responsible Men the Task is not easy same to the women too.

Site example of instructions that you gave and was rejected and what is the income structure of the house

Sorry about your experience.

Do you obey your creator also? If not, you might want to work on that aspect too.

Also, try and seat her down and tell her the consequence of her action.

Foodqueen:
You ended up saying nothing.

Hit the nail on the head.

What's the problem gan-gan-gan.

Don't u understand English like me? Cos me too no see wetin the guy is talking about.

naice:
I find myself facing a difficult situation in my marriage and would greatly appreciate your insights and advice. The issue at hand revolves around my wife's unwillingness to listen to me. I'm at a loss as to why she behaves this way, and it's starting to take a toll on our relationship.

To provide some context, my wife has a strong-headed personality, which often leads to conflicts between us. No matter how gently I communicate my concerns or requests, she seems to disregard them and even does the opposite. This behavior frustrates me and leaves me questioning our compatibility.

One possible explanation I've considered is her background as an orphan. She lost her parents at a young age and had to take on the responsibility of caring for herself and her siblings. While I understand the challenges she faced, it seems like her self-reliance has translated into a resistance to accepting input or guidance from others, including me.

At this point, I have contemplated divorce, but there's a significant factor holding me back: our children. I love them deeply and cannot bear the thought of being separated from them. As much as her strong-headedness affects me, I firmly believe that domestic violence is never an option.

I'm reaching out to this community for reasonable opinions and advice on how to navigate this situation. Have any of you experienced a similar dynamic in your relationships? How did you cope with a spouse who doesn't listen? Are there effective strategies to foster better communication and understanding in such circumstances?

Thank you in advance for your support and guidance. Your insights will be invaluable in helping me make an informed decision about the future of my marriage."

My dear brother, you will need to pray and ask the Lord to change her. It is a labour of love that you will need to do frequently. You will also need to stop complaining about it and rather use the gift of prophesy to cause the changes you desire to see in her life. Lastly, you need to remember as her husband, you are her king and priest hence you need to be very patient and exercise long suffering but if you pray, God will honour you and give you the grace to deal with her shortcomings because we all have some in one way or another. God bless you.

Stop complaining, when she does the opposite, leave her and let her do her thing. However call her to order and inform her about what she has been doing then threaten her with a divorce. If she repeat it, dont complain, just start acting up, dont come home early, and keep late night. Dont argue with her or correct her, just change from being the good man that you are. She will get the message

naice:
Your insights will be invaluable in helping me make an informed decision about the future of my marriage."

As stupid as this my advice may be, it's the only way you will save yourself from her stress. Now since she don't listen to you fine, let her be, but do not talk or be in her way for some time. But warn her not to complian about you not caring or supportive. Allow her do what she likes without your support until she came complaining. Thank me later.

There is no written way out of that only God can help

Your suspicion that her background as an orphan could have contributed to who your wife has become is true. Orphans experience so much trauma that they end up learning unhealthy coping mechanisms for their experience.

However, there is help and the earlier you get help. The better even for your children whom you love so much.

Both of you need family counseling with an experienced marriage counselor.

I advise you to invest in your marriage to make it better and peaceful rather than investing in another woman. What gives you the guarantee that the next woman would be better than this? Everyone has lots of psychological baggages and you don't know what the next woman would bring.

Ther is no doubt that your wife has adverse childhood traumas which can only be resolved through counseling. When this is done you'd be amazed at the positive changes you'd see in her.

You can contact me if you need guidance on this

Reminderz:
if your wife doesn't listen to you, then she doesn't respect you... if your wife goes against your orders, then she doesn't regard you...

then what should you do especially when kids are involved? the solution is simple, if you don't want to divorce her due to the fact that kids are already involved, then get a second wife... if she doesn't change the way she acts after several attempts and warnings from you to get her back on track, if she doesn't do her responsibilities as your wife, then cease her responsibilities on her also and pay her less attention...

get a second wife and shift your focus.. your life is already filled with struggles as a man, do not let a woman who you're feeding, clothing and sheltering give you HBP...

besides, you said she lost her parents at a young age, so maybe she has become "masculine" by trying to survive the situation she was in, so she doesn't see you as man enough to take orders from, it's either she sees you as weak or someone inferior to her to be respected... this is one of the issues a woman who wasn't raised in a stable environment or raised by a single parent mostly face.. you might not be able to change it... if you act weak and not masculine enough for her, she won't see you as someone worthy to be followed or respected...

This is exactly what am facing at the moment

For as long as it works?

chigoziri2403:

FOR how long will he continue blackmailing her in order for peace to reign

Did she recently changed into this behavior?
Have she ever been like this right from the onset?
Did you try to know the root of this exhibition?
Do she love?
Are you working?
Are you taking your responsibility as the head of the family?
Have you tried to check the mental class of friends she keeps?
Do you satisfy her in bed?.
This life is too short to live in regret.

Ur answers to these questions determine what to do!

Some people will tell u, the behavior of a woman u live with determines ur life span...

Tzar:
You are a SIMP!
God help you if you find a proper manipulator as a partner. He is talking of marriage not relationship o. Any man who tolerates, disrespect, disloyalty or hard headedness no matter how small from his woman can never last long. It is only a matter of time.
You better go back to the male elders in your family to help you become a real man!

A simp with peace of rest of mind is far better than thousands of repillers with crises and HPB.

Sir, May I be simp for a long time on the universe.

How to control and fully be in charge of a woman is more than gragra. Though when u finally got married u will understand better.


OP that came to lament online, did u even ask him, in what ways he want to control his wife? Perhaps he is the one that evn at fault and yet want woman to follow him like bambiala.

Not that I'm being biased, but I hope you're not one of those men who always expect their wives to agree to anything they say even if it doesn't make sense... If you are, then you're the problem, but if you're not, then you're married to a fire breathing dragon and you should just make peace with it by agreeing to anything she says for peace's sake...😂😂😂😂

Didi2d:


Dear, am facing just exactly the same issue. Personally I have tried all soft spot I know, it's still not working

naice:
I find myself facing a difficult situation in my marriage and would greatly appreciate your insights and advice. The issue at hand revolves around my wife's unwillingness to listen to me. I'm at a loss as to why she behaves this way, and it's starting to take a toll on our relationship.

To provide some context, my wife has a strong-headed personality, which often leads to conflicts between us. No matter how gently I communicate my concerns or requests, she seems to disregard them and even does the opposite. This behavior frustrates me and leaves me questioning our compatibility.

One possible explanation I've considered is her background as an orphan. She lost her parents at a young age and had to take on the responsibility of caring for herself and her siblings. While I understand the challenges she faced, it seems like her self-reliance has translated into a resistance to accepting input or guidance from others, including me.

At this point, I have contemplated divorce, but there's a significant factor holding me back: our children. I love them deeply and cannot bear the thought of being separated from them. As much as her strong-headedness affects me, I firmly believe that domestic violence is never an option.

I'm reaching out to this community for reasonable opinions and advice on how to navigate this situation. Have any of you experienced a similar dynamic in your relationships? How did you cope with a spouse who doesn't listen? Are there effective strategies to foster better communication and understanding in such circumstances?

Thank you in advance for your support and guidance. Your insights will be invaluable in helping me make an informed decision about the future of my marriage."

MEN Saaaaah, any some thing na divorce.. shift abeg

Send her to the street. Don't be a simp

It seems you yourself may be the problem here. You ended up not coming out straight. I am not a marriage councillor but here is my own opinion...

If you really want the marriage, nurture it well. You guys should MANAGED eachother flare...

Your wife may need attention, communication, care and love from you, and may be you are looking for submission, submission, and same mentioned above that your wife may be seeking from you.

Try to create those values towards her. You may see changes...

God bless your marriage. Take care

So people like us that didn't go to school
how do we read all those Big big English there, you where just turning around garnishing your English to make it sweet without making a point to my understanding

U dey carry ur family issue come nairaland, I pity u

I have been married before, my 1st daughter is 15yrs old, so I am speaking from experience. I currently am in another 8yr relationship where we are both matured enough (in our late 40s) and understand our roles clearly without the entrapment of marriage.
No man is ever happy being a simp. I pray you are liberated if you are happily one. The sad part is simping does not only destabilizes the proper structure & order of marriage/relationship by effeminating the man, and making the woman masculine, it destroys society.
Simping is one of the reasons we have offsprings who are excessively emotional children without strong father figures who end up being mass shooters, people with gender dysphoria and young men who are not stoic enough to stand up for women and children when the need arises.
Look at what happened to Biblical Adam and Samson when they turned simps to their women?

Fiscus105:



A simp with peace of rest of mind is far better than thousands of repillers with crises and HPB.

Sir, May I be simp for a long time on the universe.

Meanwhile, u that's not simp , did u for once seen password of any social media accounts of any ur girlfriend?

How to control and fully be in charge of a woman is more than gragra. Though wen u get married u will understand better.


OP that came to lament online, did u even ask him, in what ways he want to control his wife? Perhaps he is the one that evn at fault and yet want woman to follow him like bambiala.

It is a double edged knife situation.

do you listens to her when she talks too?


do you provide for your family as the head of the house

think

naice:
I find myself facing a difficult situation in my marriage and would greatly appreciate your insights and advice. The issue at hand revolves around my wife's unwillingness to listen to me. I'm at a loss as to why she behaves this way, and it's starting to take a toll on our relationship.

To provide some context, my wife has a strong-headed personality, which often leads to conflicts between us. No matter how gently I communicate my concerns or requests, she seems to disregard them and even does the opposite. This behavior frustrates me and leaves me questioning our compatibility.

One possible explanation I've considered is her background as an orphan. She lost her parents at a young age and had to take on the responsibility of caring for herself and her siblings. While I understand the challenges she faced, it seems like her self-reliance has translated into a resistance to accepting input or guidance from others, including me.

At this point, I have contemplated divorce, but there's a significant factor holding me back: our children. I love them deeply and cannot bear the thought of being separated from them. As much as her strong-headedness affects me, I firmly believe that domestic violence is never an option.

I'm reaching out to this community for reasonable opinions and advice on how to navigate this situation. Have any of you experienced a similar dynamic in your relationships? How did you cope with a spouse who doesn't listen? Are there effective strategies to foster better communication and understanding in such circumstances?

Thank you in advance for your support and guidance. Your insights will be invaluable in helping me make an informed decision about the future of my marriage."

Make una go marriage counseling

naice:
I find myself facing a difficult situation in my marriage and would greatly appreciate your insights and advice. The issue at hand revolves around my wife's unwillingness to listen to me. I'm at a loss as to why she behaves this way, and it's starting to take a toll on our relationship.

To provide some context, my wife has a strong-headed personality, which often leads to conflicts between us. No matter how gently I communicate my concerns or requests, she seems to disregard them and even does the opposite. This behavior frustrates me and leaves me questioning our compatibility.

One possible explanation I've considered is her background as an orphan. She lost her parents at a young age and had to take on the responsibility of caring for herself and her siblings. While I understand the challenges she faced, it seems like her self-reliance has translated into a resistance to accepting input or guidance from others, including me.

At this point, I have contemplated divorce, but there's a significant factor holding me back: our children. I love them deeply and cannot bear the thought of being separated from them. As much as her strong-headedness affects me, I firmly believe that domestic violence is never an option.

I'm reaching out to this community for reasonable opinions and advice on how to navigate this situation. Have any of you experienced a similar dynamic in your relationships? How did you cope with a spouse who doesn't listen? Are there effective strategies to foster better communication and understanding in such circumstances?

Thank you in advance for your support and guidance. Your insights will be invaluable in helping me make an informed decision about the future of my marriage."

Change your mindset.
A strongwilled spouse could be an asset.
Change the way you see her
God didn't create a duplicate of any human
Explore your differences, enjoy your similarities
You are lucky not to have a yes, lazy, aparthetic and passionless partner
Pray her into your ideas
And pray for her to embrace your ideas, without force.