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Nigerian Mothers....Always Over Protective! / Monstrous Mothers Who Killed Their Own Children / Why do Fathers Love their Daughters More & Mothers their Sons? (2) (3) (4)
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| Re: ... by obowunmi(m): 9:58am On Oct 13, 2011 |
Glad nairalanders are helping and supporting one another. |
| Re: ... by Nobody: 10:18am On Oct 13, 2011 |
This is the problem I have with people on this forum. What part of Ify's grammar don't you guys understand? THERE IS A HUGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN NOT BEING ABLE TO AFFORD THINGS AND BEING ABLE TO AFFORD THINGS BUT NOT WANTING TO SPEND THE MONEY I repeat, Obodo Oyibo's second hand clothes are very different from Naija's, don't you peeps get it? People view my comments as inappropriate 101% of the time but will it stop me from posting? NOPE. Do I care if I get called rude or harsh?(yea, only when pigs fly) This poster has the money to buy these things but decided against it. If someone comes on NLD and advertise some nice shoes and bags, you will see her buying them all(and yea please make excuses for her, tell me what I wanno hear. She's buying them for business purposes) Some of yous did not buy a cot in your time because you could not afford it and now that God has blessed you please do not tell me if you conceive now, you wouldn't shop for that baby. mutter: My point exactly mutter. Spoke on  . I cannot imagine myself wearing a Louis Vuitton summer 2011(for my mind   ) shoes and have my kids walk about looking like what I cannot describe. First pregnancy is usually the most important of them all, after a few more, a lot of women tend to calm down small , but if you and your man are financially buoyant and carrying your first pregnancy, you would wanno buy the whole world for that child. I buy winter clothes during summer because it is cheaper then and summer during winter. Sometimes these clothes have huge reductions and the price drops down to 10 dollars from 40 , it is during these times you will find my extremely cheap backside in the shops . |
| Re: ... by Nobody: 10:35am On Oct 13, 2011 |
Jenny, your points are noted. I have no idea what Parisienne has posted in other threads. I'm going by what she posted here. A request for help, this is what I'm responding to. Her financial circumstances, I have no idea, and quite frankly, it's none of my business. I either decide to assist, or I don't. It's that simple. And my mom did buy used clothes in NIGERIA for my kid sister. My younger sister had her son in July, and does also buy used. NIGERIAN used. Sometimes, it's not the way one shares views that count, more the way those views are put across. Everyone has a different view, that does not mean they're "garbage." That is very dismissive, and not an endearing trait. |
| Re: ... by Nobody: 10:39am On Oct 13, 2011 |
Go find her in the fashion section buying shoes and bags,and yea she cannot afford a cot because she wants to put the money to good use(buying shoes and clothes I guess). Siena, you and your iyawo both have a beautiful daughter and I smell a 2nd one coming soon , but I would like to know if you would come on the internet to beg for kids stuff when you know you can afford it? it is a different thing if friends and families bring in baby stuffs for you and your wife, but begging from outsiders you do not know, just because you are being stingy just leaves a funny feeling in my chest.  |
| Re: ... by Nobody: 11:00am On Oct 13, 2011 |
Jenny, no, we don't come on the 'net to beg for items for our daughter. People request (I wouldn't use the term "beg," it's degrading) things for different reasons. If they can afford what they're requesting, and are giving the impression they can't, that's between them and their conscience. We give to charities, but we don't dig into the finances of the recipients. We either give, or we don't. Giving to a charity is no different to giving to an individual. If we all delved into the finances of those that request assistance, both charities and individuals, we wouldn't have time to do anything else. I give to charities, if they're deceiving me, that's down to them. My conscience will be clear - I gave based on the demands that were placed at the time. Not by what was (or wasn't) sitting in their bank accounts. It's not for me to educate them on their priorities, however misplaced they may be. |
| Re: ... by Nobody: 11:48am On Oct 13, 2011 |
Na wa ohhhhhh! I'm speechless! @Mutter and Richvkunt: help me tell them! @horny4you: thanks @chaircover: thanks a million @siena: Thank you for defending me. |
| Re: ... by Nobody: 12:34pm On Oct 13, 2011 |
Good points you've made there, Parisienne. Another interesting point is, affluence is not measured by the house you live in, the clothes you wear, the car you drive etc. A lady requested clothes for her 3-month-old baby. We bagged up two bundles, and gave the lady our address. She turned up with her husband, and baby daughter in a 2-year-old Nissan Pathfinder. Proof that used clothes and other baby items are not relegated to those who are not too well off. By the analogies here, we should have turned the couple away, "because they had a late model SUV." When did we become so judgemental? Generally, Nigerians are more religious than the average Westerners, yet we're the quickest to judge others, and the average Western atheist will show more compassion to a person in need. Priceless! |
| Re: ... by ifyalways(f): 12:41pm On Oct 13, 2011 |
Paris,you owe no one no explanation,not even me. My first post was meant to be a sincere advise but trust the internet viruses plus prophets to twist it to me something else. Goodluck on your child birthing and may God prosper your family. @Siena,i guess Mutter's comments of "enlightened people" using used stuffs was cool.Besides,where or which part of my posts suggests that i dont want people to assist the op? I have made my point,an opinion formed based on the "Parisene Xter" that I have interacted with in the past.I am least bothered by what internet viruses and some group of goody two shoes think. |
| Re: ... by ada24: 1:01pm On Oct 13, 2011 |
poster - congrats - please don't be offended by some posts on here I know as a pregnant woman u might have shed a tear or so reading some posts (damn those pregnancy hormones  )I 200% understand everything you have mentioned here and only wish you were here in the UK with me - gosh I would give you so much stuff you would beg me to stop (in fact I just dropped off a box of pampers this morning at my baby group) You see I bought a lot of second hand stuff for my daughter and managed to save about £600 from my original budget, you know what that money went straight into a savings account for her. People have given me so much stuff and some things only last a few months so why would I spend £80 on a moses basket when she only used it for 12 weeks, my dear I bought it for £10.50 from ebay (the lady who sold it was very clean and she dashed me a bath and some clothes when I went to her house to collect it) likewise someone came and collected the playmat and pushchair i sold on ebay. I'm not sure about second hand clothes in Nigeria but here in the UK things are just to damn expensive for me to start dashing out money like that. Honestly all a child needs up to a certain age is love and attention plus food . Don't worry very soon they will start asking for their own laptop, phone and nintendo wii (while they are still wearing pampers o!!!!!) Poster are you the one that was asking about getting your birth cert. concerning getting your UK passport? how many months are you. |
| Re: ... by yogun(f): 1:10pm On Oct 13, 2011 |
interesting thread OP: Congrats on ur lil one. May the Lord grant you safe delivery. u owe no one no explanation. in my own case, i actually bought cot but my lil girl never used it. we had to pack it up. I was a lil disappointed thinking of the stress i went thru getting the cot cos i was abt 7mth preg wen i went shopping for it and started bleeding the next morning but God took control. concerning used cloth  even grown-up where them. dont be bothered. i got some for my daughter then. i washed well, rinsed with dettol disinfectant, ironed and it was good to go.all the best darling, enjoy ya pregnancy, |
| Re: ... by Johndoe100(m): 1:12pm On Oct 13, 2011 |
Whatever you people say, second hand clothes, are for soup kitchen kind of people. Lord you all come hear giving us the "we are white " stuff and you go buy tokunbo clothes for your kids. Jeez. Na so the thing hard una? None of my kids used second hand clothes, I did not use them either. What am I working for that my kids will go and wear tokunbo God forbid bad thing. If any of you has a cot let the OP have it. I would have given her but my kids passed that stage eons ago. |
| Re: ... by Nobody: 1:21pm On Oct 13, 2011 |
@ada24 yeah I did shed a tear or two but God will turn my mourning into dancing! Havnt got my certificate yet but its being worked on. |
| Re: ... by Nobody: 1:29pm On Oct 13, 2011 |
Johndoe100: Bro, you're being extreme here. As for the "God forbid bad thing", That doesn't ring true. I feel the "God forbid bad thing" is used for just about everything, even things not related to Religion. If you don't give to Charity, fine, no big deal. If you can't help Parisienne, that's fine too. But to make out she's a pauper, or a lesser being is wrong. When did charity become a bad thing? Charity is bad? Yet we use the phrase, "Charity begins at home." There's nothing forbidden in giving to others. And it's not always to do with affluence. If a request is made of me, I give, if it's within my power to do so. I don't think any less of the person as a result. |
| Re: ... by ada24: 1:35pm On Oct 13, 2011 |
yogun: my dear I feel your pain - the bloody cot i bought for my daughter and organic breathable mattress I stressed myself looking for - this girl has not spent even 1 night in it -KMT!!!!!!!!! @johndoe - i'm very happy for you, i personally prefer to save the money for my daughter cos no body knows tomorrow - trust me up until my father was alive I thought I was a princess - chei my eyes opened after his death, I paid my university fees with my own sweat after he died. My daughter will have a fund built up for her so that she will never have to stress about school fees or if she wants a car or a deposit for a house in her 20s the money is there. not every1 has the same pocket - obviously there are certain things one does not buy 2nd hand (like a car seat) but with clothes I honestly don't see a problem. Most of us that have kids pass things around anyway. Poster - try and have your baby in the UK. |
| Re: ... by Basildon1(m): 1:42pm On Oct 13, 2011 |
Ifyalways may have come out harsh but to say she has no point is not really the best. I mean how bad can it be that you want to have a baby and you have to resort to an online forum to ask for used stuff for your baby. C'mon! She has to sit down and re-assess her needs and wants @ OP, you have to make extra sacrifices for your baby and talk to family members for "hand-me-downs". All will be well with you and your baby. ada24: I am struggling to understand this bit! |
| Re: ... by Nobody: 1:53pm On Oct 13, 2011 |
Bla bla bla bla, unnecessary explanations and drama. How can you resort to Internet of all places? Seriously of all places. you really care about your baby? Your first child . I have nothing against your child but you. Hopefully the tears you shed will be a lesson the next time. I don't care if you are a business woman or not, you've been doing it for sometime now ,so you not buying this time will not kill you. You are going to have a child, set your priorities right. Life is not all about you now, that child comes first. you can afford it, so buy it. BTW, I did not ask you to post your family info here. |
| Re: ... by Johndoe100(m): 2:17pm On Oct 13, 2011 |
Siena: You left out the last part of my post. I have nothing against giving and have asked members to assist the OP. However second hand clothes are for the poor. On that I will not budge. I am shocked, almost all of you give your kids second hand clothes in one form or another!!!! Man, that's bad. I can just imagine, what Yoruba calls aloku. If you are that poor, get a second job. You know I can never look at you guys in the same way again. Charity is wonderful and I give regularly to the needy, just never thought "the cabal" would fall into that category. |
| Re: ... by ada24: 2:22pm On Oct 13, 2011 |
ok - i think i get both sides of the coin now, we all want the best for our kids and we should strive to achieve that (i'm not going to lie, there are some things I am extravegant about)- but the way some people are putting their point across to a pregnant woman is harsh - i'm sorry if anyone is offended by this but it is. Gosh if this had been me last year reading this I would be in fits of tears. Remember pregnancy hormones - chei be a bit nice to this woman for petes sake there are so many forums out there for mums to be and new mums that have sections specifically for the purpose the poster has raised, nobody talks down to these women, in fact in one of my baby groups one of the mums who has the same pushchair as victoria beckham gladly took the free pampers another mum gave her - when another mum dashed unused formula milk see how people rushed it - and these women are not poor. honestly what the poster is asking for is not bad - the mistake she made was asking for it on a NIGERIAN forum - after all every1 in nigeria is rich so why would someone who is using the internet feel the need to ask for a second hand cot. she should have a baby in the uk cos she is a british citizen - and i'm thinking that she may not have access to reddington levels in naija - also it will just make it easier for future generations in her family (her grandchildren needing to be born in the UK to get citizenship) |
| Re: ... by cantell(m): 2:24pm On Oct 13, 2011 |
ifyalways:Shey na to donate baby stuff you dey blow all this grammar? Nawa oo! You stingy! @op, What can i do to help? jennykadry:**smh** even you? Another stingy mother! Do you know the kind of humiliation it takes to beg? If someone comes out to beg, it means their choices are limited or the person has none. If you can't offer any help, do not discourage others. It's a sin. Give unconditionally, no matter what. ". . . give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven" (Matthew 19:21). |
| Re: ... by Nobody: 2:30pm On Oct 13, 2011 |
Johndoe100: Bro, you make it sound like it's a crime to be poor. It isn't, it's more of a crime for the rich to look down on the less affluent. Besides, not everyone who uses used clothes is poor, there are many reasons one would accept used items from others, either bought, or donated. I would also like to point out the highlighted parts of your post above. They're contradictory. You say charity is a wonderful thing, and you regularly give to the needy. In the same post, you state second hand clothes are for the poor. This would suggest those you term as "needy" and regularly give to, are poor. How do you decide who is poor? And who is needy? Are you giving to the "needy," as you claim them to be, out of a sense of empathy, or to make yourself appear superior to them? I'm just curious. |
| Re: ... by Nobody: 2:34pm On Oct 13, 2011 |
cantell: Seriously?When will you guys get it? Don't you get it? I don't care what anybody thinks about me now I have said my piece, nothing is gonna change |
| Re: ... by Johndoe100(m): 2:43pm On Oct 13, 2011 |
Siena: The needy are generally poor that is why they need. I make these donations through my church so I leave the who to them. I participate and lead my churches prison outreach. I give to the needy because I am a Christian,. What has all this got to do with the fact that second hand clothes are a clear sign of economic hardship. Listen no one buys second hand[b] ANYTHING[/b] if they can afford the new one. If they like let them say they are saving the money, it comes to the same thing - not enough money for new clothes and savings. |
| Re: ... by Nobody: 2:57pm On Oct 13, 2011 |
Johndoe100: Bro, you're a Christian, but you're being extremely judgemental, and patronising. You're looking down on those that receive your charity. As I asked in a previous post, it's not a crime to be poor, more of a crime for the rich and affluent to look down on the less affluent. Already, you're seeing those that use second hand baby clothes as inferior to yourself. That's in very poor taste, and not in line with the teachings of christianity. |
| Re: ... by cantell(m): 2:59pm On Oct 13, 2011 |
jennykadry:^^under the hard veneer lies the heart of a caring mother who can still help, if she wants to. We live in a small world. Nothing lasts forever. Always have that in mind. |
| Re: ... by Basildon1(m): 3:05pm On Oct 13, 2011 |
cantell:Dude, you have her whole message twisted! You are so caught up with sentiments you have even implied in your previous post that the OP is a beggar. She is just being economical and they letting her know she is going too far by coming online. Simples! |
| Re: ... by Nobody: 3:08pm On Oct 13, 2011 |
Basildon1: I don't get it myself how words can be twisted. I am done clarifying jare |
| Re: ... by cantell(m): 3:25pm On Oct 13, 2011 |
Basildon1:Bro, nawa for you oo! See as you scatter person runs. Na "begging" be "request" senior brother. Economical or not, begging na begging. jennykadry:I almost got you with my reverse psychology bulls*hit.lol women! Basildon1, fall my hand like mad! |
| Re: ... by ronkebp(f): 3:28pm On Oct 13, 2011 |
@ Poster, my dear, if you have the money, buy a cot/crib for your child, you can use it for other children too. If you do not, let him/her sleep with you on the same bed. Let me tell you, personally, i am a freak when it comes to buying things for my child, that my prince!!!!, i want him to have everything money can buy oooo, i bought him a crib if you see the gigantic crib, guess what?? he has never slept a night in that crib,  we sleep on the same bed, infact he is so spoilt, so am definitely keeping it for the other kids, those ones would be from hospital bed to the crib, no joking. |
| Re: ... by Johndoe100(m): 3:55pm On Oct 13, 2011 |
@op Let us know what happens, congratz on the baby by the way. |
| Re: ... by yogun(f): 4:17pm On Oct 13, 2011 |
let's stop going back and forth on dis issue. If you want to help, go ahead. if you cant help, keep it to urself. sometimes our opinions dont count. u giving ur child d best might not mean the same tin to me as giving my child d best (one man's meat will forever be anoda man's poison). |
| Re: ... by OYINBOGOJU(m): 5:03pm On Oct 13, 2011 |
Ify , are you really sure you are a mother? |
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