Ruin your life, how? We need to stop living this life of entitlement.

Okay, since you’ve moved on, have you been able to put your ruined life back on track?

We are all aware that the majority of Nigerian parents are authoritarian, and their behavior or ways can sometimes annoy the kids.

They don't give a damn about how the kids feel because they want things done their way. However, if you don't agree with your parents' behavior or ways of doing things, once you've reached adulthood, keep your distance and live your own life while remaining respectful to them.

I have a healthy relationship with my mum, I love her so much, even though she doesn't have much, but she sacrifices alot for me. She single handedly sees my through my university hence I owe her so much.

Though I am not going to lie , as good as my mum is to me, she can be so annoying at times with her toxic words.

For my dad, he doesn't care and I in the other hand don't care about him. Man is evil in all standard.

Lost dad when I was 8. My mum has been very supportive, trained me, from her meagre earnings, through university. four years after school, she still send me foodstuff all the way from kwara to Kaduna. May God bless her and all the supportive parents out there.

spencekat:
Please where did he go to?

He abandoned us oooo

tiswell:
Single mothers have finished work

No actually single mother but a separated family (no divorce)

Grew up under the shade of our mum
19years + (still counting)

minakom:

He abandoned us oooo

Sorry ,if I may ask did he divorce your mum ?

[quote author=jojothaiv post=125953435]You make me wonder too.

Lol
separated family (no divorce)

Grew up under the shade of our mum
19years + (still counting)

jojothaiv:
Hardly calls but we are on good note.

Hustle don make me ditch their side a long time ago, I can't sit down with them and expect the bills not to keep on piling.


You make me wonder too.


I had a friend in this shoes too however, man seems to have figure out how to carry about living without making a fuss about them again.

Like you said, distant silence to them!

Separated family (no divorce)

Grew up under the shade of our mum
19years + (still counting)

tiswell:
very poisonous I tell you bro.

You are everywhere painting a narrative based on your figment of imagination? What makes you think you, a mere moniker on a faceless forum, is right, and those speaking out their experiences of their dad are wrong? Na you be the dad? Do you know them offline?

Lost Mama 2002
Lost Baba 2016

Seeds are still growing up

I don't like being classified as a wife material...

If a lady with Daddy issues is not supposed to get married, then a man with Mommy issues is not supposed to get married too.

tiswell:
Good wife material.

Any man that marries a lady with daddy-issues is already doomed for life.

Honour your father and your mother... So that your days may be long.

This is an instruction without condition.

So irrespective of who they are, what they did or what they're doing...

The instruction is CLEAR.

You will not die young.

Draslo:
Barely talk to my dad about anything. We used to be very close when I was a kid until the day he gave me a scar nobody can miss when they see me. He flogged me thinking I was lying only to find out later I was telling the truth. He never apologized. I love my mom but I limit what I share with her cos na man I be


This scar dey mess with my self esteem badly even till today. I've had women tell me without the scar, aesthetically, I would be perfect.

You have to redefine the image the scar gave you.
It makes you macho-looking now,

Relationship between Parents especially Fathers and Sons is so significant and spiritual that the devil fights it with every thing he has.
Most fathers who should know this and be sensitive about it are unfortunately ignorant of it.

My elder brother and dad are arch-enemies till date because of a similar experience like yours and worse still, changing the course of his academic life out of fear and disconnecting him spirit and body. Man is here in Nigeria but his spirit is abroad.
Even I put in extra effort to manage my relationship with him.

It is quite unfortunate to have insensitive and worse still self-righteous parents.

But the good news is that God is helping to reveal most of these marital and parental mysteries to the Body of Christ and those who are perceptive. This is a good time to apply yourself to succeed where your parents may have faltered.
It is a spiritual warfare that you have to commit to God's hands.
Be intentional to live a life worthy of God's mercy.

Your parents just like you and I, never really had a manual to life or mentors. This is why you should forgive your dad.
God bless and heal your home.

pocohantas:
Excellent.
When I was younger, I didn't understand a lot of their actions. Now I am older, it makes me appreciate how much they sacrificed to feed us and pay our fees. I seriously wonder how our parents did it.

Omo because even to feed myself gaan na wahala. I wan take one year sick leave make i rest from working

My both parents are very nice. 5% of my salary goes to them till when God will call them. I would have traveled out of the country but I love to be around them as the first son

spencekat:
Sorry ,if I may ask did he divorce your mum ?

He didn't. He sent us packing and failed to take eof his responsibilities

Omor most comments here are scary, i must got to thank God for ma parents. Even while I'm married with a child my parents still do make me feel like a baby. Omor i can't love dem less....
To those who stil have a frosty relationship with their parents i pray for healing while those who lost their parents i pray that the Lord provide comfort and a bigger love to you all.

minakom:

He didn't. He sent us packing and failed to take eof his responsibilities

Sent you guys packing?Just like that? Let me not delve further. Sorry bro.,but forgive him.

Purvan:
i just tell people they are dead even though they are alive and live well after ruining my life

Dont you think that is too bad no matter what had happened between you and them?

having a father that believe he shouldn't be hustling again at 60+ and expecting you to be providing all his needs even when he's aware that the Sons are facing one challenges to the other, he didn't invest on properties and not excellently on them

or


a mother that give attention to the first child and last born that don't send her anyway at the end


I felt pained when I see friends that are poorer and uneducated than my parents but still get the required support from their own parents than me


Note: everything is not money, we need someone to cry to sometimes for moral support and encouragement, orphan feel we are better because we have parents but they forget many hide their pains under their smiles for having one

When I see people relate well with their dad,I feel its absurd and strange because I never experienced that.When I sold my car,I started using my mum's car,she gladly gave me anytime I wanted it,do you know my dad told my mum to stop giving me her car,that I will turn it to scrap.Imagine what a dad is saying about his son

Myer:


You have to redefine the image the scar gave you.
It makes you macho-looking now,

Relationship between Parents especially Fathers and Sons is so significant and spiritual that the devil fights it with every thing he has.
Most fathers who should know this and be sensitive about it are unfortunately ignorant of it.

My elder brother and dad are arch-enemies till date because of a similar experience like yours and worse still, changing the course of his academic life out of fear and disconnecting him spirit and body. Man is here in Nigeria but his spirit is abroad.
Even I put in extra effort to manage my relationship with him.

It is quite unfortunate to have insensitive and worse still self-righteous parents.

But the good news is that God is helping to reveal most of these marital and parental mysteries to the Body of Christ and those who are perceptive. This is a good time to apply yourself to succeed where your parents may have faltered.
It is a spiritual warfare that you have to commit to God's hands.
Be intentional to live a life worthy of God's mercy.

Your parents just like you and I, never really had a manual to life or mentors. This is why you should forgive your dad.
God bless and heal your home.

I'm half blind in one eye. I have forgiven him but we drifted apart. It's not just me, same as with my siblings. You know when you just get to that point where you can't share personal stuff with your parent anymore. You're just their child and they're your parent and responsibilities on either side of that are not lagging but there's no friendship per se. Anger issues, trust issues, control issues and like you rightly mentioned, self righteous issues... these are some of his traits. In fact, there's no time my siblings and I are talking about him and one of these traits isn't the reason for the conversation. Even though a parent(s) can make loving them difficult, we just do anyway.

spencekat:
Sent you guys packing?Just like that? Let me not delve further. Sorry bro.,but forgive him.

Forgiven him long before

Samantha124:
I don't like being classified as a wife material...

If a lady with Daddy issues is not supposed to get married, then a man with Mommy issues is not supposed to get married too.

oops! it seem I just awaken the feminism nerves

My mum just left my home back to her base,her grand kids were just crying,I go missed her sha.

May God grant her safer journey back to her husband's house

Better left unsaid.

Draslo:
Barely talk to my dad about anything. We used to be very close when I was a kid until the day he gave me a scar nobody can miss when they see me. He flogged me thinking I was lying only to find out later I was telling the truth. He never apologized. I love my mom but I limit what I share with her cos na man I be


This scar dey mess with my self esteem badly even till today. I've had women tell me without the scar, aesthetically, I would be perfect.

scars makes you strong 💪.

I don't hate and i don't like them. Just neutral

My father is a very busy man, but he always has time for me.

I've also observed how my brothers in law have time for their children too... And their children are very comfortable and open around them... One time I found my brother in law helping my niece on how to put a wig on and sometimes he'll take her out... Same thing applies with my other brother in law to a point that if his daughter doesn't get to see him for more than a week, she gets sick.

Judging by most of the comments here, it seems like most of your fathers are there, but absent in your lives.

They're only there because they're married to your mothers.

tiswell:
That's right men are naturally like that,always occupied.

Fountainofyouth:



You are everywhere painting a narrative based on your figment of imagination? What makes you think you, a mere moniker on a faceless forum, is right, and those speaking out about their dad are wrong? Na you be the dad? Do you know them offline?

why always the dad?
mothers and women are always good.

Yet,it's women that gives birth to these kids that continues the cycle of hate towards men.

hate-filled orientation on the kids is usually a woman's yardstick for measuring a man's perceived fvck up,and the innocent kids would grow with it thinking it's a way of life.

Draslo:

I'm half blind in one eye. I have forgiven him but we drifted apart. It's not just me, same as with my siblings. You know when you just get to that point where you can't share personal stuff with your parent anymore. You're just their child and they're your parent and responsibilities on either side of that are not lagging but there's no friendship per se. Anger issues, trust issues, control issues and like you rightly mentioned, self righteous issues... these are some of his traits. In fact, there's no time my siblings and I are talking about him and one of these traits isn't the reason for the conversation. Even though a parent(s) can make loving them difficult, we just do anyway.

So sorry to hear that.
Only God can solve this.
You do realise the is a major spiritual issue?