Queendiamond398:
My husband prefers been busy on his phone with his numerous exes, divorcee and single ladies than gisting with me if we are together, i have always want him to have peace of mind but it seems he doesnt think of that about me

Am begining to find peace gisting with his friend anytime he comes to visit, some persons may say i saw the handwriting on the wall before i married him,Hell NO! .He succeded in making me chase all my friend both male and female away but now have numerous to chat with and laugh and please himself.

He thinks his smart but i pity him, is just my home training that is limiting me to do some kind of evil things ,we will go for party or club he will leave me and go and be sitting in midst of other ladies, while some men will come and sit with me and making advances at me and he doesnt know. Some of his friends that are as useless as him and come with their wives or Fiance doesnt know young and energetic men do have quickie with their wives at the rest room

My religion and the way i value my body can't make me to stooop so low to do all those things but why will a man choose to neglect the wive to be dieing of boredom .

Because of lack of attention my Male Colleagues always try to take advantage of that and be chatting with me till midnight without him even seeing it.

We lived in a separate room that this his attitude can make someone to be cheating without him knowing but i dont want to do that Please someone should help me out
Please am dieing slowly i have confronted him so many times but he will tell me i dont have the right to tell him what to do

Do you have kids, I don't think so. It sounds like your marriage is not old.

Why do you sit beside him while he is chatting? Stand up and twerk. Sit on his lap and make out. Don't give him space.

You want him to initiate romance, you guys are married now, ditch that laid back attitude and involve yourself in finding peace and happiness.

Sex is not meant for bed alone. Value your body you say? How can you be married and value your body more than your husband?

jeromestarks:


See this one talking as if you're doing the man a favor by not cheating on him. Aunty, go ahead and fvck another diick. You think the man gives a fvck?
Is it not your body that will be humiliated?
It's your body that will suffer and become laughing stock among the energetic men who gave you quickies. Nonsense!

So bodies do actually "suffer" and get "humiliated" during coitus? I can swear I've come across countless posts here on NL claiming that both men and women enjoy sex and no one is doing the other a favour.

So basically you confirm there's "suffering" and "humiliation" experienced by one party during sex, and this party that is compelled to sacrifice and subject their body to "suffering" and "humiliation" is actually doing the other a favour by sleeping with them, right?

In that regard, would it then not make sense that they may want a form of monetary and/or material compensation for the suffering and humiliation they subject their bodies to?

Bliss62:
Have a deep heart to heart discussion with him

Most times break down in commiunication causes more damages in relationships

You guys are not mind readers, and need atleast 3 hours of talking daily

Early in the morning atleast an hour after praying together

And before sleeping

Topics should include how your day went by

Una no dey tire with this una cliche 😫
Tueh!

Xwizard:
if anyone here tells you to dump him, pls blocked the person asap cos why, na better for worst you sign.

In that case, divorce isn't ok then if the man were in her shoes?

Queendiamond398:
My husband prefers been busy on his phone with his numerous exes, divorcee and single ladies than gisting with me if we are together, i have always want him to have peace of mind but it seems he doesnt think of that about me

Am begining to find peace gisting with his friend anytime he comes to visit, some persons may say i saw the handwriting on the wall before i married him,Hell NO! .He succeded in making me chase all my friend both male and female away but now have numerous to chat with and laugh and please himself.

He thinks his smart but i pity him, is just my home training that is limiting me to do some kind of evil things ,we will go for party or club he will leave me and go and be sitting in midst of other ladies, while some men will come and sit with me and making advances at me and he doesnt know. Some of his friends that are as useless as him and come with their wives or Fiance doesnt know young and energetic men do have quickie with their wives at the rest room

My religion and the way i value my body can't make me to stooop so low to do all those things but why will a man choose to neglect the wive to be dieing of boredom .

Because of lack of attention my Male Colleagues always try to take advantage of that and be chatting with me till midnight without him even seeing it.

We lived in a separate room that this his attitude can make someone to be cheating without him knowing but i dont want to do that Please someone should help me out
Please am dieing slowly i have confronted him so many times but he will tell me i dont have the right to tell him what to do

Hmmm!

The solution to this issue lies with at least 1 year of separation so that you can be normal again. You can't make a sound decision in the state you are in because you know everything is against you. The Nigerian society and the law are even against you...not to talk about families and people who will shut you up. Many of them are even doing it here now.

See...the most recent strategy girls use now is to travel abroad and the man will even sponsor it. If you think you can make him look into travelling abroad, use it. Caregivers in the UK are there, and it is the fastest. Use everything to make him accept it, or if you can pay for it without his knowledge, do it. Even if you are a professor in Nigeria, just take that route and check out for your sanity. You will be ok there and leave the care job.

If you can afford school fees, look into Canada and prepare for it very well. If you are capable of doing it...it depends on you.

Just Japa. I won't say leave him or don't leave him. You will decide after you settle down there. What you need is a space to decide what you should do. If children are involved, you may have to prolong your silence even after you get there. A lady went for Care Job and when dependents were still easy to bring to the UK, she just behaved like a foo.l. She went first, and the kids were with the man....all visas ready. The man even sold all his properties later cos his wife was always giving him good news. He said his children cannot leave him ooo...and bla bla bla. That he wanted to be sure. When he saw it clearly that it was a good move, he said ook I can sell my properties and the kids and I can join you. The babe kept silent. When they arrived at the airport...it was there the girl went with her lawyer...she collected the kids...and showed UK immigration evidence she had piled up against the man. Lol. Domestic violence, reckless financial attitude, adultery, and many other things. Right in his face, Madam cut him from being her dependent and collected all her children. Lol. The man saw stars. The UK was even lenient, and they told him he had 1 full month to leave if he could not get a job that could sponsor him to stay. Lol. And even if he has it, he will have to go to court to take the kids. See, madam is even praying for him to get a job that will sponsor him...cos he doesn't know that the real wahala will start. Why? Madam's lawyer was ready to make him pay for all the children...and they would proceed with divorce formally. Lol. So, better for the man to return to Naija and forget about the kids and the girl. Another man will take the kids...and madam changed their surnames. Lol.

So, Japa! Make sure that you are the main applicant oooo. Let him be the "attachment"...lol.

JAPA!!!

We4all:


You have been posting this everywhere. Tell us what the guy did.

Later you men will be acting as if you don't gossip,what concerns you with the matter now? You can just see it and pass by

Nairaland has become one of the worst places to seek marital advice from

santaclaws:
You need to tell all these to someone close to him, like his family members or his mother. You need to let him know that if he doesn't change, you may not be able to endure him anymore...

Also, if you have a decent pastor (not fake ones), you can explain to him so he can counsel you and your husband.

Bad idea. Very very bad advice.

This is against the first lesson of marriage counselling - communication.

That's bring 3rd parties in a marriage and embarrassing him.

See ehn I prefer you talk to someone he respects so much at his family side not yours o. It is like a witness to what is presently going on. Well I need to also ask if you listen to him. Sometimes he may prefer you start dressing certain ways or changing your Outlook. Is there anything he has been telling u to work on?

VaginaAcademic:
abi o na her toto dem go pour hiv sperm put and she go suck their std infected deek she doesn't know these quickie boys will use her to count scores of married women they've slept with

It's her husband who is likely to do so, not outsiders.

franchasofficia:
Easier said than done.


Or let me say, easier typed as a comment than put into practice



Women should enjoy their life well well while single cos that is their best time in life while men's best time starts from 35yrs above and ag this age most men are financially buoyant and married, and they must recover what they lost when young while the ladies were enjoying all manner of male attention and pampering lol




Childbirth changes women. She might still look beautiful outside with nice clothes, fashion sense and body packaging, but only Oga knows that the value is no longer the same like before no matter how hard Madam tries to package after childbirth lolz

You forgot to mention something....most girls already have had their fun before deciding to get married while the man was either doing born again or was working too hard (even though some guys had their fun too sha)....so it's unfair to tell the man to stick to one woman who has had her fun who you are not her first...why shouldn't the guy hv his fun too??

Coolsat:
Some men sha

You go Dy chase babes outside while leaving an unsatisfied wife at home, not a good thing.

If your love and gbola can't go round enough without complain from your women please stick to one woman.

The problem is she isn't putting spice to the marriage. She mentioned religion and value of her body. It means she doesn't jump up to hug him when he comes home or sit on his lap or take a bite of his food.

She wants him but she is laid back expecting him to know what she wants.

Maybe the OP is not neat enough because most 9ja women suddenly begin to behave like grandma after making kid(s) and are not well-packaged by forming housewives. 90% of cheating husbands are tired of their wife's granny looks and attitude.
I noticed this when moved closer to one or two single moms (they started packaging for another suitor after the first divorce, yet they are not that neat )

Queendiamond398
I feel sorry for men like your husband. When it backfires big time, it may be too late to regret.

My cousin had a cousin (on his father side) who worked for a government security agency. Both he and his wife worked there.

If he was with his mistress and his wife called, he would act like man of the house and tell her off as though what he was doing was honourable.

Unsatisfied with his pay packet, he travelled to the UK and got work as a security company. That work plenty for there for Nigerians. Combined with his security training in Nigeria, he handled the job well. He used to sell money to the family in Nigeria but did so with an air of arrogance.

One thing led to another, he came back to Naija and couldn't return. He was devastated and penniless.

Meanwhile, when he was overseas, his wife was transferred to the airport. There she was seeing between 50-70k per day on the side. Mind you, this was around 2006. Then the exchange rate was 120 to $1. That would be at least 350k per day in todays money. She was making so much money that she was even lending it out. She did not know what to do with it. However, she did construct a house.

With the husband now home, penniless and very miserable. He stayed in his wife's house for a short while, but moved out due to manly pride.

He later got work in Dubai but the pay there was too low and he came back. He came to stay with us in Ikeja. He later got a manager's job with a security company that paid him 60k a month. This wasn't much but he managed.

He started dating a lady in her 30s in my area. From the looks of things, it was more about the money and he seemed by now to be ignoring his wife. They got married. His wife tried to find out the names of those who attended the wedding so she could cut them off permanently for what she considered treacherous.

The lady he married is a proud snob and domineering. They had a kid together and she now kicked him out. I think all she wanted was a child and once she got one, hit the road Jack!

Well, for his first wife, he later learnt she was in Canada with their 2 daughters. This was a punch below the belt. He looked finished. It was humiliating. I am sure she won't help him come over. It was obviously a punishment for his womanizing ways.

Obey your wedding vows (Hebrews 13:4)

King David brothers

adanny01:


Bad idea. Very very bad advice.

This is against the first lesson of marriage counselling - communication.

That's bring 3rd parties in a marriage and embarrassing him.

but he already in embarrassing situation

Farfalla:


So bodies do actually "suffer" and get "humiliated" during coitus? I can swear I've come across countless posts here on NL claiming that both men and women enjoy sex and no one is doing the other a favour.

So basically you can confirm there's "suffering" and "humiliation" experienced by one party during sex, and this party that is compelled to sacrifice and subject their body to "suffering" and "humiliation" is actually doing the other a favour by sleeping with them, right?

In that regard, would it not then make sense that they may want a form of monetary compensation for the suffering and humiliation they subject their bodies to?

Come here - I want to beat up and humiliate your nether regions .

Let's have some breaking and entering and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon

You have been a bad girl and now your going to get it

You don't sound responsible either. You are even calling your husband and idiot man. E dey your body

Ishilove:
Nairaland has become one of the worst places to seek marital advice from

the place is full of badly raised kids. Many of them are damaged.

Stonecoldstare1:

Later you men will be acting as if you don't gossip,what concerns you with the matter now? You can just see it and pass by

So, if you are not a gossip, why didn't you ignore my post?

I pity you so much.

You better drop that home training that's holding you.

90% of married men do this online

Reason some of them can't stay far from their phones some put it under their pillow when they want to sleep.

Many married men have their nudes on most of this small girls phones
So madam if you look all this ones
You will cheat in your marriage oo.

Best thing is either you ignore him
n get busy with something
Or you cheat or do same thing he is doing.

But I will say you should ignore him
He will get tired n eventually stop

Chetas81:
but he already in embarrassing situation

Embarrassing situation?

Embarrassing situation is when people who respect you know that you have not satisfied your wife. When your pastor knows details of your home. Your parents or siblings know about your sex life.

Anyone who knows you like that will judge you in his mind.

Rule of thumb, never discuss your life with any outsider of a relationship.

jeromestarks:


See this one talking as if you're doing the man a favor by not cheating on him. Aunty, go ahead and fvck another diick. You think the man gives a fvck?
Is it not your body that will be humiliated?
It's your body that will suffer and become laughing stock among the energetic men who gave you quickies. Nonsense!

You said my mind

If the story is true, aunty has already started fvking around like the whoree she is and she’s just looking for moral support to justify her actions.

Sorry madam, e nor easy to be a man oo, especially with money

Also, it's not easy to be a discipline man morally.

Pussys are too many and easily available these days from single ladies to single mothers to divorcees.. all begging and fighting for fewer responsible men

advice him on safe sex

.. u too stop going to the club with him. Focus on building ur home.


Lastly, u can trick him to located the western countries, where women has the power. Then u can threaten him with divorce over there.

Queendiamond398:
My husband prefers been busy on his phone with his numerous exes, divorcee and single ladies than gisting with me if we are together, i have always want him to have peace of mind but it seems he doesnt think of that about me

Am begining to find peace gisting with his friend anytime he comes to visit, some persons may say i saw the handwriting on the wall before i married him,Hell NO! .He succeded in making me chase all my friend both male and female away but now have numerous to chat with and laugh and please himself.

He thinks his smart but i pity him, is just my home training that is limiting me to do some kind of evil things ,we will go for party or club he will leave me and go and be sitting in midst of other ladies, while some men will come and sit with me and making advances at me and he doesnt know. Some of his friends that are as useless as him and come with their wives or Fiance doesnt know young and energetic men do have quickie with their wives at the rest room

My religion and the way i value my body can't make me to stooop so low to do all those things but why will a man choose to neglect the wive to be dieing of boredom .

Because of lack of attention my Male Colleagues always try to take advantage of that and be chatting with me till midnight without him even seeing it.

We lived in a separate room that this his attitude can make someone to be cheating without him knowing but i dont want to do that Please someone should help me out
Please am dieing slowly i have confronted him so many times but he will tell me i dont have the right to tell him what to do

Olosho!!!!! Looking for excuse to do what you were born to do, go fvk around . Nobody is begging you

Jeon:
Go get it from outside .

are you the one on your dp?

SUPOL:
are you the one on your dp?

No, it's a stolen photo.

Breaking that addiction isnt easy. Pray he doesn't bring home std to u someday

Queendiamond398:
My husband prefers been busy on his phone with his numerous exes, divorcee and single ladies than gisting with me if we are together, i have always want him to have peace of mind but it seems he doesnt think of that about me

Am begining to find peace gisting with his friend anytime he comes to visit, some persons may say i saw the handwriting on the wall before i married him,Hell NO! .He succeded in making me chase all my friend both male and female away but now have numerous to chat with and laugh and please himself.

He thinks his smart but i pity him, is just my home training that is limiting me to do some kind of evil things ,we will go for party or club he will leave me and go and be sitting in midst of other ladies, while some men will come and sit with me and making advances at me and he doesnt know. Some of his friends that are as useless as him and come with their wives or Fiance doesnt know young and energetic men do have quickie with their wives at the rest room

My religion and the way i value my body can't make me to stooop so low to do all those things but why will a man choose to neglect the wive to be dieing of boredom .

Because of lack of attention my Male Colleagues always try to take advantage of that and be chatting with me till midnight without him even seeing it.

We lived in a separate room that this his attitude can make someone to be cheating without him knowing but i dont want to do that Please someone should help me out
Please am dieing slowly i have confronted him so many times but he will tell me i dont have the right to tell him what to do

I'm so speechless, things like these are becoming so rampant.

madridguy:
Allow your husband to breath

lolz