kingron:

A guy in hurry uses ladies toilet in a
posh hotel.He sits down & notices4
buttons- WW,WA,PP & APR. Curious,he
presses WW & his Bottom is gently
sprayed with warm water,den WA & a
blast of Warm Air dries him. PP & a
Powder Puff leaves him smelling
fresh. Feeling pampered,he presses
APR. Later,he wakes up in hospital. A
nurse smiled & said,"APR
meantAutomatic Pad Remover.your rooster
& balls r in dis jar in case u want to it.laaaf it out, in this hot afternoon

Bros pls no kill me with laughter.

loneytunes:

Bros pls no kill me with laughter.

hmm,, thts d aim
laaf it out!!
A pastor wanted his congregation to
be in high spirit. He said, do
something crazy for God. Everybody
jumped and scream He said, u don't
understand I mean crazy things,
people rolled on d floor wit excitement,
d pastor said yet u aint dere do
something crazy. Warri boy ask his
friend, make we crase His friend
replied yes, he ran to d alter grabed d
offering bowl n ran away. pastor
realising wat happen dropd mic ran

A nigerian man trying to avoid pay of
doctor's fee after eye operation by
saying, "I still can't see"Dr. asks a sexy
nurse to UnCloth in front of him.He
again says "I cant see"Dr. tells nurse to
open her legs. Again he says "I can't
see"Dr. says : "{mother fucker}!! if you
can't see, how come your DIç.K is
standing, LAAAF IT OUT!!!!

Reflex action

AKPAN : I am proud because my son is
in Medical College
Friend: Really? What
is he studying?AKPAN: No, he is not
studying, they are studying him.=))

teacher asks timmy''what is youre cat
doing in school''?
timmy: i heard daddy say to
mommy''im going to eat that pussy
when the kid leaves''!, so im saving
him!

boy: Sweetheart I have two tickets of
inglis movie wanna come?
Girl: which movie?
Boy: "Condom of Shailesh"
Girl : You idiot it's "QUANTUM OF
SOLACE",

Wife: Can you help me in garden??
Husband: What do you think, I'm
Gardener, ??
Wife: Can you fix door handle??
Husband: What do you think, I'm a
Carpenter, ??
In the Evening when husband came
from the work, He saw everything has
been fixed, !!
He asked: Who fixed this, ??
Wife: "our Neighbour but he gave me
2 options, !!
Either I should give him burger or a
kiss, !!
Husband: I'm sure you must have
given a burger, !!
Wife: What do You think, I'm
Mc'Donald's, laaaf it out peepz

this wud make u laff like craze, loading,

G.E. Jonathan met with the Queen
of England. He asked her, "Your
majesty, how do you run such an
efficient government? Are there,
any tips you can give to me? I
want to help Nigeria"
"well, said the Queen, "the most
important thing is to surround
yourself with intelligent people."
Jonathan frowned, and then
asked, "But how do i know the
people around me are really
intelligent?" The Queen took a sip
of her tea. Oh, that's easy; you just
ask them to answer an intelligent
riddle. The Queen pushed a
button on her intercom. "Please,
send David Cameron in here,
would you?"
David Cameron walked into the
room and said, "Yes , your
majesty?" The Queen smiled and
said, "Answer me this please.
David, your mother and father
have a child, it is not your brother
and it is not your sister. Who is
it?" without pausing for a minute
David Cameron answered, "that
would be me." Yes, very good, "
said the Queen. Jonathan went
back home to ask N. Sambo,
answer this for me, your mother
and your father have a child, its
not your brother and its not your
sister, who is it?" "I'm not sure"
said Sambo. "Let me get back to
you on that one, but none could
give him an answer.
Finally, one day, he ran into Dora
Akunyili. Sambo asked, "Dora, can
you answer this for me? Your
mother and father have a child
and its not your brother or sister,
who is it?" Dora answered
sharply, "That's easy, its me!
Sambo smiled, and said "thanks!"
Then he went back to speak with
Jonathan. Sir, "I did some research
and I have the answer to that
riddle", It's Dora Akunyili!
Jonathan got up angrily, frowning
he said to Sambo. No wonder
Nigeria isn't moving forward, I
don't have intelligent people
around me. "You Dummy!" The
answer is David Cameron!!!!, l
who laffed it out, ?

A warri boy abroad called his mum 2
say he's got HIV. His mum begged
him nt 2 ever com back, he was
suprised n asked y? And she replied, if
u com, ur wife go get am n giv u
younger broda, who go giv ur house
gurl n she self go giv ur papa n ur
papa go giv me n me go giv our drive
who go giv ur sister. And if ur sister
get am, d whole village don get am b
dat.

Ghadafi, Oboy, I dey ooo. Abacha, U
come late ooo. Ghadafi, Aboki, I tried
to gather more cash. Abacha, U Bleep
up. Ghadafi, Hw? Abacha, U don
collect so much, even pass my own, u
for take off when the heat started.
Ghadafi, laaaf it out

I love the Dora Akunyili joke, we are indeed surrounded by dummies in the govt house lolz!!!

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday
school. Usually she slept through the class. One
day the teacher called on her while she was
napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the
universe?" When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an
altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took
a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!"
shouted Mary. The teacher said, "Very good!" and
Mary fell back to sleep. A while later the teacher
asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior?", but
Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once
again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her
again. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary. The teacher
said, "Very good!" and Mary fell back to sleep. Then
the teacher asked Mary a third question, "What did
Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third
child?" Again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This
time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick
that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it
in half!" The Teacher fainted.

patience dame #gbagaun# jonathan: On behalf of this 20million naira i donate my family,

^^ She did not say that?!

oy caught his dad red handed
with their maid, the dad told his
son "take this 500naira and dont
tell your mum pls", The son
answered," but dad dis is unfair
ooo, "mum gave me 1000naira
when I caught her with d
gateman, lollll

ARareGem:

^^ She did not say that?!

now i aint sure if she said that or not, waz doubting it too wen i first saw it on a pressboard, saw it in 2 oda boards larra on, probably it is a formd 1 or she said something close to that.

its been a while, quite busy wit wrk, but here is cool one for ya monday mrning. Julius Malema recently bought a new
automatic car. He drives the car
perfectly well during the day but at
night the car just won't move. He had
tried everything for a week and still
no luck he then furiously calls the
dealership and they send out a tech.
The tech asks are you sure you using
the right gears? He says of course I
am, im not stupit I use D for “day” and
N for ‘night', !

Husband: whenever I get mad at you,
you never seem to get upset, how do
you manage to control your temper,
Wife: I just go and clean the toilet.
Husband: How does that help??
Wife: I use your toothbrush!

A man and his ever nagging &
troublesome wife were on holiday in
Jerusalem when d wife died suddenly.
The undertaker said it will cost £5000
to ship her home or £50 to bury her
here. The man said ship her home.
They said but Sir why don't you bury
her in the Holy Land & save d money.
The man said "a long time ago a man
called Jesus was buried here & 3 days
later he rose from the dead, I cant
take d risk. Lolz.

I like your jokes kingron

We were
writing our love story. Then
one day you took the pencil
and erased it. ♥

sorry no jokes 2day_____just quotes make una no vex, Just because a
man acts jealous, it doesn't
mean he loves you or
wants to commit to you.
Most men just don't like to
share pusæsy.

Find someone
who is already what you
want. Instead of someone
that you THINK you can
CHANGE into what you
want. ♥

Don't focus on
your haters. Focus on your
dreams and your
supporters.

Crack ur Ribs!!! The youngest son in a
family asked his father, " daddy, what
is d difference btw potentiality &
reality? Dad: I'll show yo u.
He turned to his wife & asked: would u
sleep with
Dangote for N20m?
Wife: yes I would never waste such an
opportunity. Then dad turned to his
daughter: would u sleep wth Femi
Otedola for N20m?
Daughter: yes dat is my fantasy. Dad
turned to his older son: would u sleep
wth Tom Cruise for N10million
SON: yes, imagine wat I'll do with dat
money.
Finally, dad turned to his youngest
son and said. YOU SEE, "Potentially"
we're sitting on N50m but in "reality"
we re living wth two prostitutes and
one Homosexual

King U tooooo Muchchchchcchhhchh. U over over killed it.
Bravo

A group of students went on
excursion to Ikogosi waterfalls.
They so had a wonderful time
they did not realize when night
came so they had to stay
overnight to travel the next day.
Unfortunately for them there
were no enough rooms to
accommodate them so they had
to be paired. Emekus was
unfortunately paired with Sister
Bola a Deeper life christian. At bed
time Sister Bola was fully clothed,
tied her scarf and used the
pillows to divide the bed into two
and slept on one side facing the
wall. On seeing this Emekus knew
their was nothing for him and
resigned himself to his fate. On
the journey back to school
following morning, rain was
threatening and a windstorm was
blowing. Sister Bola's scarf was
blown away to rest on a tree top.
The team leader ordered the
driver to stop so Sister Bola's scarf
can be rescued. He nominated
Emekus to go climb the tree and
fetch the scarf being her
roommate. Sister Bola seriously
objected to this saying how can
someone that couldn't climb
ordinary pillow, climb a tree,
laaaf it out jooor

ndukwejoe:

King U tooooo Muchchchchcchhhchh. U over over killed it.
Bravo

i see u bro

DIFFERENT CONVERSATIONS:
1. From a Ebinpejo High School,
grammar teacher: "The girl goes
to school, goesn't she?(Hmmm!)
2. From Ajegunle, somewhere in
AJAY High School teacher:"Both of
you three come here!.(Na waooo!)
3. An irritated Safunejo primary
School teacher to a student:
"Tomorrow I want you to come
with your father, your mother and
both your parents!" X_X .
On seeing twins enter his office,
the Deputy Principal of Akara high
School at Mushin said:" You look
together; are you twice, who is
copying who?(Wahala dey oo)
4. Notice at a store in Eko
Idumota: "Open seven days a
week and weekends" (shoo!)
5. Sule admonished two boys who
were arguing:"Don't speak so
twice together, man,Speak once
upon a time!" (Shege!)
6. My favourite remains what
Julius Sofo said:
"I would rather kill myself than
commit suicide ( una dey see am

Ada, a house help in VGC, Lagos
asked for a pay increase. The
madam was upset about this and
decided to talk to her about the
raise of pay that was requested.
She asked: 'Now Ada, why do you
feel you deserve an increase?'
Ada: 'Well, ma'am, 3 reasons why I
want the increase.' The 1st one, I
dey iron beta dan U'!
Madam : Who said u iron beta dan
me??'
Ada:Your husband say so!
Madam: 'oh!
Ada: The 2nd reason:, I can cook
better than you.'
Madam: 'Nonsense, who said u
were a better cook than me??'
Ada: Ur husband again'.
Madam: 'oh!
Ada: The 3rd reasn is that I am
beta in bed than u, ,
Madam: 'Really, (now furious &
agitated): ' my husband said dat
as well??!
Ada: 'No Madam , your husband
best friend, Senator Andrew, ,
told me that I was better in bed
than you .
Madam: Ada baby!! How much did
you say you wanted again!
laaaaaaaaaf it out