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What's The Best Advice On This Matter? - Family - Nairaland

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Good Advice Please. Do I Have A Case In This Matter? / Is My Wife Correct On This Matter? / What Is Your Best Advice For A First Time Mum? (2) (3) (4)

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What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by tallfish145(m): 9:39pm On Dec 27, 2023
Is it right for a husband for demand for any money sent to his wife by her ex for the support of a child she got for him,ie the current husband's step child? Worthy to note that the child has been living with them for close to ten years the husband married the mother and has been paying the child school fees and feeding
Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by Kooldon(f): 10:13pm On Dec 27, 2023
He has been fathering this baby with his resources for ten years without issue. So why is it an issue now when he demanded this money for proper savings?

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Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by Double0h7(f): 10:48pm On Dec 27, 2023
It’s a weird question because they are all meant to be a family unit but you’ve separated them into 3 separate units. The money is for the family. If this man is the head of the family then he will decide what is the best way to use the funds. I hope we’re talking mills here otherwise you’re just dirtying your hands.

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Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by pansophist(m): 12:44am On Dec 28, 2023
If the wife will truly spend the money on the child, or in the household at least, then it's best for the husband to not collect it.

If the woman is not spending the money on the child, then it's not right, but again, it's still not cool to collect it from her. There's no honour there.

As a wife, she should play the role of a supporter, and money from baby daddy are just extra channels to get money, for supporting her household.

Not collecting the money meant for the kid doesn't mean the money won't go to the kid. In this case, it's just better if the wife do the spend it on the child directly.

But these issues are foundational in nature. Discussions like these should have been ironed before marriage.

Marriage in itself is hard, talk more of one where one of the child belongs to another man.

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Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by Free2Fly: 2:52am On Dec 28, 2023
tallfish145:
Is it right for a husband for demand for any money sent to his wife by her ex for the support of a child she got for him,ie the current husband's step child? Worthy to note that the child has been living with them for close to ten years the husband married the mother and has been paying the child school fees and feeding

Go with the depositions of the 3 posters above.

Don't wait for the nairaland kids and confusionists, especially that one called Kobojonkie, to wake up and start filling here with their putrefying and puerile advice/posts and arguments.

14 Likes

Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by JeffreyJunior: 3:39am On Dec 28, 2023
Kooldon:
He has been fathering this baby with his resources for ten years without issue. So why is it an issue now when he demanded this money for proper savings?
Lol.

Proper savings indeed. grin
Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by ikeno(m): 4:12am On Dec 28, 2023
Free2Fly:


Go with the depositions of the 3 posters above.

Don't wait for the nairaland kids and confusionists, especially that one called Kobojonkie, to wake up and start filling here with their putrefying and puerile advice/posts and arguments.
This one na knockdown oo

3 Likes

Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by TheWinterBird(f): 4:34am On Dec 28, 2023
Well, the money is meant for the child and not the husband, therefore he has no right to "demand" it. I reckon he wants to pocket it or use it for his own interests. The money should remain with the mother of the child whom it was sent to; she should decide what should be done with it.

4 Likes

Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by Double0h7(f): 5:45am On Dec 28, 2023
TheWinterBird:
Well, the money is meant for the child and not the husband, therefore he has no right to "demand" it. I reckon he wants to pocket it or use it for his own interests. The money should remain with the mother of the child whom it was sent to; she should decide what should be done with it.

Damn! But why you gotta make the man out to be some villain? Did you not read the part where he has raised this child? When he was paying school fees and rent did he pocket his money? Small change comes from the deadbeat dad and this father becomes a villain according to you.

Your take is toxic and rather childish. 🤮

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Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by tallfish145(m): 9:20am On Jan 09
[quote author=Double0h7 post=127656997]

Damn! But why you gotta make the man out to be some villain? Did you not read the part where he has raised this child? When he was paying school fees and rent did he pocket his money? Small change comes from the deadbeat dad and this father becomes a villain according to you.

Your take is toxic and rather childish.

2 Likes

Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by ShenTeh(m): 8:45pm On Jan 09
No issue.
Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by tuzle(m): 8:47pm On Jan 09
Omo this topic is one that should be handled carefully. Let me use this example, if the husband has been taking care of feeding, school fees and the likes and the ex for the first time now sends something like school fees money which the husband as already paid for, then I think he should be refunded his money for the fees.

5 Likes

Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by Jewessgratitud3: 8:47pm On Jan 09
Demand for the money on what bases? Is he seeking refunds for the money he has spent on her for the past 10 years? I don't understand...

Only a childish man would do such. That kind of man can even encourage his wife to go collect money from other men and give him if he can be indicating interest in money sent by his fellow man to his stepdaughter. He wants to turn the girls father to a moneybag 💰. Some men sha.

It the woman I blame for showing him the money. Since she doesn't have any intention of giving him the money,why show him in the first place?
Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by Offpoint1: 8:48pm On Jan 09
I wouldn't take or allow such money in my house, unless it was sent to the kid himself.

E get why

3 Likes

Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by adesegun121(m): 8:49pm On Jan 09
Ok
Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by CorrectionFLuid: 8:49pm On Jan 09
Double0h7:


Damn! But why you gotta make the man out to be some villain? Did you not read the part where he has raised this child? When he was paying school fees and rent did he pocket his money? Small change comes from the deadbeat dad and this father becomes a villain according to you.

Your take is toxic and rather childish. 🤮

The thing is a feminist, not a woman.

8 Likes

Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by Emperormartin(m): 8:49pm On Jan 09
Ok
Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by ednut1(m): 8:51pm On Jan 09
shocked what is all this.
Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by Rodimi20000000: 8:54pm On Jan 09
Lol
Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by Adenugay(m): 8:56pm On Jan 09
hello people
Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by linearity: 8:57pm On Jan 09
tallfish145:
Is it right for a husband for demand for any money sent to his wife by her ex for the support of a child she got for him,ie the current husband's step child? Worthy to note that the child has been living with them for close to ten years the husband married the mother and has been paying the child school fees and feeding

Since the money is for the child, just use it to pay the school fees of the child, case close!

The mother is unreasonable and ungrateful here, the man have accepted you and your child from a third party, he is paying the school fees and upkeep of the child.

Then your ex gave you money for the child and you want to keep it for yourself? Her actions is painting the guy to be a fool like a mogu, monkey!

11 Likes

Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by eleko1: 8:57pm On Jan 09
H
Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by illicit(m): 8:57pm On Jan 09
The money belongs to the child...
Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by okoroemeka(m): 8:58pm On Jan 09
tallfish145:
Is it right for a husband for demand for any money sent to his wife by her ex for the support of a child she got for him,ie the current husband's step child? Worthy to note that the child has been living with them for close to ten years the husband married the mother and has been paying the child school fees and feeding
for a man to raise a child in that circumstances shows a good man with a good heart and for a wife to disclose such sensitive information to her husband shows an equally good woman,this is not a question about money,it is a matter of bruised egos,the best way forward is to divide the money 60% to the man and 40% to the woman

2 Likes

Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by Amotekun777: 8:59pm On Jan 09
angry
Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by MykellOni(m): 9:01pm On Jan 09
Attendance: Present ✅️
Lol! That's a very funny question......
Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by linearity: 9:01pm On Jan 09
TheWinterBird:
Well, the money is meant for the child and not the husband, therefore he has no right to "demand" it. I reckon he wants to pocket it or use it for his own interests. The money should remain with the mother of the child whom it was sent to; she should decide what should be done with it.

The guy who use his own money to pay for school fees and upkeep of a child that is not his is the mugu, I guess?

Child support is for the child and not for the mom to keep or to spend on herself. The money should go directly to what concerns the child, if the mom is the one that will make that decision on how to direct that money, if I am in the husband’s shoes I will ask her to start from the school fees.

The lady is greedy and ungrateful, she will never meet a better man and does not deserve the guy.

7 Likes

Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by Cassandraloius: 9:02pm On Jan 09
Hmm... shocked This is super story.
Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by FirmTR(m): 9:03pm On Jan 09
shocked
Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by Bfly: 9:09pm On Jan 09
Ideally, He has right as the head of the family to demand for it, As the woman must take permission from her him before receiving support from the boy's father. But life is relative.

2 Likes

Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by EvangelistChuks(m): 9:10pm On Jan 09
In the kingdom of God ,a woman has no right to spend family money without the husband’s consent;In the kingdom of God.-[Number 30:6-8].

1 Like

Re: What's The Best Advice On This Matter? by Adebaba1(m): 9:11pm On Jan 09
This is one of the reasons most men don't like marrying single mothers
Most of them are selfish and self-centered
Imagine after she cajoled to him to spend his resources to train a child that isn't his, she still feels she is entitled to the money

11 Likes

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