FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.


My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.

On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.

Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)

After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.

Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.

She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.

I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.

A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.

Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.

2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.

3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.

4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.

5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.

After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.

I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.

The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.

We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.

Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.

I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the redflags are obvious?

shortgun:
It's logical to tell you to leave the girl or run for your life....but to who?
The experience you are having is just how women behave, you won't find a better one anywhere!
The only ones who will appear to be better are those who will pretend but will later show their true colours.
Any man who has made up his mind to get involved with a woman must be ready to put up with their nature and illogical dramas or just stay single.
You are even lucky she doesn't get angry with you cos you are cheating on her in her dreams.

The areas where I see you lacking is in dominance and assertiveness; you need to dominate her to conquer her.

FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.



She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.



I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the redflags are obvious?

Sonnobax15:

The fact that she still has the number of that her ex on her phone tops the list of all the red flags . And j wonder what you're still doing with that type of banny. ...

jiz:
You never marry but you are already collabo.....wetin they do you all is see finish. Laying foundation of your marriage with this will not end well. The Ops sounded like you are doing the woman a favor by marrying her. You told us her promiscuous side while you silent on your own. May the good Lord bless you with marital sense

FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.


My

FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.


My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.

On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.

Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)

After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.

Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.

She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.

I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.

A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.

Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.

2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.

3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.

4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.

5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.

After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.

I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.

The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.

We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.

Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.

I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans for the redflags are obvious?

Mcslize:


I made sure I cut out the rest parts. I picked interest in this bolded part. Now, this is what I will ask you to do. Go on Facebook and search for Verydarkblackman, scroll till you find his analysis about Emeka Ike and his ex wife saga.

Trust me, that analysis will provide you all the answers you need especially that bolded part when you said you can train her more like shape her to be the woman you want.

Just do well to go and watch the whole of that very video of Verydarkblackman. It will open your eyes to some things about this your particular relationship.

FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.


My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.

On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.

Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)

After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.

Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.

She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.

I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.

A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.

Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.

2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.

3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.

4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.

5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.

After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.

I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.

The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.

We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.

Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.

I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the redflags are obvious?

shortgun:
It's logical to tell you to leave the girl or run for your life....but to who?
The experience you are having is just how women behave, you won't find a better one anywhere!
The only ones who will appear to be better are those who will pretend but will later show their true colours.
Any man who has made up his mind to get involved with a woman must be ready to put up with their nature and illogical dramas or just stay single.
You are even lucky she doesn't get angry with you cos you are cheating on her in her dreams.

The areas where I see you lacking is in dominance and assertiveness; you need to dominate her to conquer her.

FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.


My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.

On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.

Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)

After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.

Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.

She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.

I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.

A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.

Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.

2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.

3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.

4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.

5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.

After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.

I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.

The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.

We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.

Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.

I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the redflags are obvious?

UnfairLife7:
You didn't see where he said he plans to set her up after marriage? no be everybody go marry i beg to apply woman

VULCAN:
Typical African mentality.

You are one of those that think that setting someone up in business is all that is needed for the person to be successful.

You don't need to learn customer service, no need to be polite to customers, you don't need accounting training, you don't need recruitment skills, you don't need money mgmt skills.

Just get someone to pay for and stock up a shop and all will be well.

Joke

sukkot:
Lol

JoshTim:
Do you not have sense...girl wey be liability, wey no still get sense, bad attitude,....guy, you are in for fire if you marry her.

FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.


My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.

On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.

Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)

After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.

Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.

She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.

I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.

A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.

Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.

2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.

3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.

4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.

5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.

After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.

I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.

The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.

We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.

Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.

I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the redflags are obvious?

shortgun:
It's logical to tell you to leave the girl or run for your life....but to who?
The experience you are having is just how women behave, you won't find a better one anywhere!
The only ones who will appear to be better are those who will pretend but will later show their true colours.
Any man who has made up his mind to get involved with a woman must be ready to put up with their nature and illogical dramas or just stay single.
You are even lucky she doesn't get angry with you cos you are cheating on her in her dreams.

The areas where I see you lacking is in dominance and assertiveness; you need to dominate her to conquer her.

FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.


My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.

On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.

Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)

After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.

Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.

She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.

I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.

A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.

Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.

2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.

3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.

4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.

5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.

After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.

I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.

The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.

We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.

Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.

I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the redflags are obvious?

Godoverevery:


Not everyone with get married that a fact people like you need to swallow.

Alot of couples are living together without been married with kids....

I mean well to do men and women, well educated and exposed.

Marriage have outlived it purpose so if my daughter decide not to it isn't a crime or sin.