BlackfyreRebell:

What of a motherly influence? he just under 10.
The fact that he is being deceitful is what I dont understand. What if he takes him there and cut all communication with me? what if he fills his head with things he resent about me and I lose my son's love and affection?

Why them divorce you first of all?

Namaster:


You sound like a closeted demon.

A father is trying to guarantee a BETTER future for his kid and the only thing that crosses your mind is that he'd manipulate the kid against you?

Is that what you've been doing since the divorce?

You disgust me.

ALSO, the kid is still a MINOR. If you don't sign a consent form that states the kid is going to the European country to reunite with his father, what other explanation would you give for a 10-year old traveling across the ocean?

Realize this:

If you stop that kid from getting the citizenship of a country that works because of your own fear and insecurity, the kid will HATE you with an hatred that burns like a thousand suns when he becomes an adult.

Damn nigga

This is a hell of a brilliant talk you made here...

A word is enough for the wise.

As long as you keep this boy with you, men go dey brush you Dey go and you no go settle down.
Let Israel go to his promise land, pharaoh in female flesh.

1TrippleCee:



Your son needs just God and you for a brighter future not Europe o. Boys without maternal care in Europe in this early formative years will only amount to a gangster. Its better he is Godly and you grow at the pace God wants for you abeg

that is actually not true statistically. Actually male children raised up by single mothers statistically ends up like that not the other way arround.

But that not withstanding, talk to a lawyer. And weight the odds. Your child also needs this citizenship for his future. Will be forgive you in the future if you deny him this?

What if the father's reasons are genuine??

DO NOT release that boy under any circumstance. People going on as abroad is some sort of paradise and happily ever after thing. Nothing bad with your lad being with his dad, but he is being dubious about it. If you let him go, it might take a long time before you set eyes on your boy again.

1TrippleCee:



You are completely blind to not see what the father is doing here with such a comment

....
I don't think he's blind....
The reality is what he has just confirmed...
No matter what the boy's father is trying to do or is doing... He's still his father and as such, the boy should be referred to as "our son" by the woman rather than "my son"... No matter how bad things have become... Na 2 of them born the pikin

In as much as the man needs the child to complete his registration, whichever you want to look at it, he is still the father of the child.
My this, my that
Will profit nobody here
You guys should iron every grey areas or doubt you are having about the boys movement out amicably.

Make e no be say
Later in life, you will be blame for being the reason why the boy couldn't get a better life outside Nigeria, or that the father abandoned him for Europe.
The ball is in your court, the Papa don table him own plan.
Na you know

LilMissFavvy:
Don't release your child. You should only allow the boy to go when he's 18- 20yrs. If you release your child to him, he will definitely manipulate the boy and cut links with you. Keep your child. What stops him from taking you along? Be wise.

When he's old , he will decide, hopefully if the mother had not poisoned his mind

Timoleon:


If she loves the child, it won't be a hard decision to the child go to his biological father where he has a higher chance at a better life. What she cares about is 'winning the divorce'. She has the child and he's got nothing. For her, without the child, she gained nothing.

The typical mindset of unintelligent ladies.

Ironically, even if she spends her last to take care of the child, once the child is 18,he or she may decide to unite with the dad and there is absolutely nothing she can do about it.

I wish some ladies can understand basic logic.

sgtponzihater1:



A boy without a father is a liability to the society. He needs a father as a compass to navigate the maze-hole of masculinity, as well as a mother comfort him. No woman can teach a boy to be a man, as a woman has never walked in the shoes of a man.

LIES.

Its a dicey situation. If you prevent the boy from going, the boy may grow up angry for a missed opportunity.

You're also right that you might lose your son, not because the father deliberately takes him away but you know what they say about out of sight being out of mind?

BlackfyreRebell:
Please advice me
My ex husband and I are divorced 2 years ago. He recently acquired an European citizenship, he also wants to extend the citizenship to our son. Though I thought it a good idea but I can't shake the feeling that he is trying to use that to take him away from me.
He told me our son will need to come over there to finish the process of his citizenship. But when I went to submit the "application" what I saw on it is different from what he told me. The paper read that I am consenting to my son to go and reunite with his father. Or is that the way they process it?
Please those that have gone through same should please come to my aid, this is my only child and I can't afford to lose my child this way.

1TrippleCee:



I have trained atleast six. The last has graduated from university.

No wonder! I was initially wondering about the reasons behind your hasty assumptions and over generalisations. Now I have a clue.

On the other hand, if you are indeed a well trained lawyer, you should have sought to establish the context of the separation and the present status of relationship both the father and mother have with the child. From the mother's submission it seems that hitherto the parents have a fairly stable relationship even though they are not together. Shouldn't you have ask why the mother was willing to process the said papers without a second thought from the onset?

Be that as it may, the op is concerned about her state of mind: seeking to know if she is just paranoid. Unfortunately, your statements are so one-sided as if her case is an extension of your experiences. Good help in this case may demand that every counsel should enable her have an objective view of her situation so as to be able to take not just an appropriate decision but responsibility over her decision. Thus, even if the legal services lawyers offer are free, lawyers shouldn't be her first option.

Dennisochampa:
.....
So even if she's not capable of giving her son the kind of life his father can give him, you still think her son doesn't need a European visa??
Bros... Alot of us wen travel come abroad... Na because of our kids....
No matter how you see it.... 9ja is not the best place to raise kids these days if you're not wealthy....
If she can give him a good life here in 9ja...ruen she can keep him... But if not.... She should let him go....
The man doesn't owe her any obligation of takin her abroad..... He cares about the welfare of his son only...

The way some of you talk as if Europe and America are some sort of paradise pisses me off!

Not everyone in Nigeria is poor and hungry you know!

Zonefree:
[b][/b]
Stop using "my child" when his father is still alive.

God bless you.

Lifeinlight:
He wants to stylishly take him away from you

Shebi women sef dey do am to them ex-husbands

BlackfyreRebell:

What of a motherly influence? he just under 10.
The fact that he is being deceitful is what I dont understand. What if he takes him there and cut all communication with me? what if he fills his head with things he resent about me and I lose my son's love and affection?

I'm sure it's a form of a family reunion visa and if course they need you to consent to that. If you where the one there they would have also needed him to consent to it too. It's a part of the process. I don't think he is necessarily being deceitful. But you know him better.

1TrippleCee:



Your son needs just God and you for a brighter future not Europe o. Boys without maternal care in Europe in this early formative years will only amount to a gangster. Its better he is Godly and you grow at the pace God wants for you abeg

.....
This is dreams bro if the mother doesn't have adequate resources to cater for the child.......
Alot Kids with maternal care in 9ja have turned out to be terrible to the society.... Not just in Europe...
Don't make it look like the father is not capable of taking care of his kid....
Allow the woman make the decision.....
In my opinion, if she has the resources to cater for the child and he understands that she means well for him... Then he can stay with her but if not.. Then she should allow him go because If the child turns out bad and in the future the father tells him that he once offered to give him a better life but his mother refused .... That child will never forgive his mother

1TrippleCee:



I have trained atleast six. The last has graduated from university.

You are such an evil person.

Whether this woman likes it or not, the son will look for his father eventually. But he will also never forget the mother. So she better allow him to have a good future with European citizenship.

Dennisochampa:
....
I don't think he's blind....
The reality is what he has just confirmed...
No matter what the boy's father is trying to do or is doing... He's still his father and as such, the boy should be referred to as "our son" by the woman rather than "my son"... No matter how bad things have become... Na 2 of them born the pikin

What if the man hasn't been taking care of the boy?

What if he has married a other woman over there?

You think the story starts and end with the three paragraphs that she wrote?

There's more to this story that she hasn't said.

1TrippleCee:



I have trained atleast six. The last has graduated from university.

... So why are u hesitant to allow this one go...
I think you're being selfish here though....
You have 6 already... I don't know how many this man have but I think, if your son wants to go... Don't hold him back.....

Namaster:


You sound like a closeted demon.

A father is trying to guarantee a BETTER future for his kid and the only thing that crosses your mind is that he'd manipulate the kid against you?

Is that what you've been doing since the divorce?

You disgust me.

ALSO, the kid is still a MINOR. If you don't sign a consent form that states the kid is going to the European country to reunite with his father, what other explanation would you give for a 10-year old traveling across the ocean?

Realize this:

If you stop that kid from getting the citizenship of a country that works because of your own fear and insecurity, the kid will HATE you with an hatred that burns like a thousand suns when he becomes an adult.

💯

noskcid:
I cannot drag a child with anyone, if you want to eat him or her alive you are free. If I want to see my child I will see him or her, na the child go even Dey cry, I want to see my daddy 😂
Me wey get doings, na people go dey find us no be we!!!

Kill yourself ontop my comment you hear 👂

I see you bro 💯

LilMissFavvy:
Don't release your child. You should only allow the boy to go when he's 18- 20yrs. If you release your child to him, he will definitely manipulate the boy and cut links with you. Keep your child. What stops him from taking you along? Be wise.

they are divorced and it is both their son. Why is it only the man that can manipulate the son against the mother, is that what the mother has been doing also?

advanceDNA:


Yes...
The application must be "reunification with family" if ur son is to get permanent residence pali.....

How old is the boy that u worried his father wants to take him away ....or u are worried abroad will make the boy forget you??

If he's already in the range of 8years and above...no one can make him forget you

The child is already ten. If she's a good mother he knows, if she's not, he knows. There's nothing else she wants to offer him for the next six years that she hasn't shown. It's selfishness that's making her withold the child.

BlackfyreRebell:

What of a motherly influence? he just under 10.
The fact that he is being deceitful is what I dont understand. What if he takes him there and cut all communication with me? what if he fills his head with things he resent about me and I lose my son's love and affection?

.....
Will you be in a good position in the society tomorrow and allow another man raise the kid you had with your ex wife

Mindlog:


Since he is 10, let him remain in Nigeria and complete his secondary school education, which I believe he can by age 15-17,then his father can file for him before he clocks 18.

....
This makes sense though

Think9ja:


Why them divorce you first of all?

She might be a rebellious lady. See her username na

tuzle:
they are divorced and it is both their son. Why is it only the man that can manipulate the don against the mother, is that what the mother is doing also?

That's obviously what the woman is doing. Manipulating the child. More often than not though, the child will grow up, find out the truth and despise her in multiple folds

flexyrule:
What if the man hasn't been taking care of the boy?

What if he has married a other woman over there?

You think the story starts and end with the three paragraphs that she wrote?

There's more to this story that she hasn't said.

.. So you think a father will go through the stress of filing for his kid all to expose him to harsh treatments from his new wife

BlackfyreRebell:
Please advice me
My ex husband and I are divorced 2 years ago. He recently acquired an European citizenship, he also wants to extend the citizenship to our son. Though I thought it a good idea but I can't shake the feeling that he is trying to use that to take him away from me.
He told me our son will need to come over there to finish the process of his citizenship. But when I went to submit the "application" what I saw on it is different from what he told me. The paper read that I am consenting to my son to go and reunite with his father. Or is that the way they process it?
Please those that have gone through same should please come to my aid, this is my only child and I can't afford to lose my child this way.

tell him to help you too , abi both of you once shared something in common na

abi u no go wan commot for this country.....


tbh.....He is trying to take the child away obviously...you might not get to see your ward again ...thats the fact ............so u need to be selfish too since he is trying to be one...

However, if you look at the situation of the country sef...u sef go wan allow am go Europe but then the risk is obvious to everyone ....

Now, mY advise- Dont give consent to the migration as yet....tell him to let the boy finish his Secondary education here in Nigeria by then he would have been 16yrs old ...he go don know ur face well well ...to fit stand by you even when he travels to Europe...

Thats it....

sammirano:


Is the woman Godly to be divorced you people are wired differently

Your mind dey there

Table shaker