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Things Men Wished Women Knew! - Romance - Nairaland

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Things Men Wished Women Knew! by chinedumo(m): 6:20pm On Nov 10, 2011
Things Men wish women know!

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side. These are our rules! Please note ,  these are
all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of
it that way.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
during commercials.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act
like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth
the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared
to discuss such topics as , football, baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster
trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. After making your order at McDonald's (or Mr. Biggs), and the waitress asks "is that all?", please say YES. Don't go on ordering more than you can eat at the moment or for your sisters, brothers and friends at home. Be considerate.

1. When on a date, please come alone. Don't bring your sisters, brothers and friends along

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like
camping.


P.s This is a mixture of ideas
Men are also problems in their relationships
This is just meant to treat women problems
This is not conclusive

They are not necessarily my personal opinion but a window into the mindset of the general male population.
I do not claim ownership for all the points neither did the person i copied it from claim or show its ownership>
If a concrete proof is shown of the owner, I will attach it.
God bless you all

Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by iice(f): 6:22pm On Nov 10, 2011
chinedumo:

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Overcooked but that one ^^has always been my favorite.
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by Nobody: 6:24pm On Nov 10, 2011
smh.
i'm not even gonna do it. grin
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by Goldieluks: 6:25pm On Nov 10, 2011
Oh wow, i had to read this, nice one.

##thinking## 'how can i change my man,so he stop acting like these above statement'
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by freecocoa(f): 6:34pm On Nov 10, 2011
Hmm so me asking him to sleep on the couch cos I think its punishment,actually means nothing to him,good points,now I know what to do.
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by r231(m): 6:38pm On Nov 10, 2011
undecided
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by SAFO(m): 6:49pm On Nov 10, 2011
Goldieluks:

Oh wow, i had to read this, nice one.

##thinking## 'how can i change my man,so he stop acting like these above statement'

Sorry hun, you can't. We're programmed like that.

There is one way though, but I would lose my man card if I say anything. , Oops I have said too much lipsrsealed
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by ronkebp(f): 6:51pm On Nov 10, 2011
@ Poster, so do you think the world evolves around men?? ok! we have read it. What is going to be the next thing to write about? cool cool cool cool cool
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by tellwisdom: 7:24pm On Nov 10, 2011
romekebp, babe Do you in anyway wear G-String?? wink wink. Can i see?? wink wink
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by ronkebp(f): 9:43pm On Nov 10, 2011
tellwisdom:

romekebp, babe Do you in anyway wear G-String?? wink wink. Can i see?? wink wink

Nope!!!!!!!!! only ''tailor lo ran'' designer khaki!!! angry
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by osadudu(f): 9:44pm On Nov 10, 2011
Lmao! Sad but very true.but dat does'nt stop us 4rm wishin or hoping dat men hv a 'CONFIGURATION/SETTINGS' button we hv'nt discovered yet.do nigerian men 'sleep on d couch'?if yes,i'v bin datin d wrong ones!
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by MrsChima1(f): 10:09pm On Nov 10, 2011
SAFO:

Sorry hun, you can't. We're programmed like that.

There is one way though, but I would lose my man card if I say anything. , Oops I have said too much lipsrsealed

You and that damn man card and player book is getting my nerves. (rolling eyes)
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by SAFO(m): 10:14pm On Nov 10, 2011
You can twist my arm as much as you want. My lips are sealed. lipsrsealed
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by MrsChima1(f): 10:25pm On Nov 10, 2011
chinedumo:


1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of
it that way.

If you were spending someone's else money, it would be fun like sport huh?

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

I suggest you tell your brothers to do the same.  Lying just to get toto is silly and cowardly.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

Many of you can't even tell your arse from your elbow, why would we even bother?  If we spend too much time with our girls don't blow up our phone bitching about it.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Doctors can't cure joblessness.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
us to act like soap opera guys.

Don't worry, we would rather listen to sexy men.  wink wink

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

Don't ask us if we enjoy your bedmatic performances.  wink wink

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
during commercials.

Don't ask for quickies during commercials either.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.

The same goes for the guys.


1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Make sure your brothers understand that.

Make sure you credit the original authors on your next copy and paste.  wink
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by Xionez(m): 12:02am On Nov 11, 2011
Well, that pretty much sums everything up.
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by Nobody: 12:44pm On Nov 11, 2011
What is shm or smh??
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by 190smh: 12:48pm On Nov 11, 2011
^shm = shaking head my cheesy
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by Nobody: 12:49pm On Nov 11, 2011
I have never thought I'd say this to you but thanks!
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by Nobody: 12:52pm On Nov 11, 2011
freecocoa:

Hmm so me asking him to sleep on the couch cos I think its punishment,actually means nothing to him,good points,now I know what to do.
Hmmm who's the Him?
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by maclatunji: 12:53pm On Nov 11, 2011
The guy who wrote that really knows what he is talking about!
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by olajide8(m): 12:55pm On Nov 11, 2011
no extras GBAM!
just the way i view it
only one thing is missing is "we are not wizards and we sometimes have our own issues so dont think we would always know what we should do if you need something or anything just ask me!

iice: yanke me off again as usual,
SHINKINA
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by MissyB3(f): 12:59pm On Nov 11, 2011
I like this.  cheesy
He mustn't follow this line of thought, though. . . . if he does, he mustn't say it to me. Really, because he will be sleeping in the garage, not on the couch. grin
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by 190smh: 1:02pm On Nov 11, 2011
michelin89:

I have never thought I'd say this to you but thanks!

U/W cheesy
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by kings112(m): 1:15pm On Nov 11, 2011
Am yet 2 comrehend what this topic is all about.
Can any bodi help to explain.
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by kings112(m): 1:20pm On Nov 11, 2011
maclatunji:

The guy who wrote that really knows what he is talking about!
u made a mistek, '- is this an irony
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by BlackBaron: 1:25pm On Nov 11, 2011
Nice write up. . .
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by Flashaldrin(m): 1:30pm On Nov 11, 2011
chinedumo:



1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really.
this one really amuses me whenever she does it,
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by Ultrame(m): 1:30pm On Nov 11, 2011
maclatunji:

The guy who wrote that really knows what he is talking about!

Yeah, Great Guy. His name's[b] Steve Harvey[/b]. Title of the book is: Act like a Lady, Think Like a Man.

We should learn to give credit on this site. Plagiarism is still a crime.
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by jpphilips(m): 1:38pm On Nov 11, 2011
Lmao! Sad but very true.but dat does'nt stop us 4rm wishin or hoping dat men hv a 'CONFIGURATION/SETTINGS' button we hv'nt discovered yet.do nigerian men 'sleep on d couch'?if yes,i'v bin datin d wrong ones!


No Maam cos Naija bebs are too dependent to own one
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by CzarChris(m): 1:47pm On Nov 11, 2011
@OP spot on man grin grin grin grin grin grin .
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by ayodot(m): 1:49pm On Nov 11, 2011
thru to the last letter. Any guy who does otherwise is probably still on the wooing level.
Re: Things Men Wished Women Knew! by Nobody: 1:57pm On Nov 11, 2011
Nice one poster. But blessed is the man who is able to break dese 'rules' for a woman, for he'll forever have dem eating out of his palms.cheesy

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