See finish done enter the marriage. Try to keep less conversation with him, mind your business, focus on ur business and kids. Let the community preek keep deceiving himself that he's enjoying. Save more money and abandon him when he needs you the most. Pay evil with evil when people refuse to behave. If he has property currently do the needful. Don't be pampering mad people

immortalcrown:
Don't leave your matrimonial home unless you want to jump from frying pan to fire.

For now, just be speaking to him and to those he listens to. Infidelity is very bad.

so that he would destroy her mentally and give her infection or the other woman kills her? Abi

Uzorbaby:
Good evening house, I opened a new account for this issues. This is my ninth years in marriage with 3 kids and since the third year till now the problem I keep having with my husband is infidelity, when ever I catch him he apologises but still continues. Recently I found out he is into a single mother who claim to be a deconess and he opened a business for her and doesn't feel apologetic about it, this same lady when I had not discovered their affairs he sends her his last card and begs me for money. He calls her everyday , video calls her and sends her money frequently.right now I feel faustrated and depressed. I will really love to leave him and rent a house close to my shop but the amount to do that will greatly affect my business if I do that because I just started it 3 months ago. I just need someone I can talk to, gist about normal stuff of life so that my mind can move away from him pending when I will be able to rent a house. I just want to be happy

It is crucial you know this, that the person you look forward to talking to should be a real friend if possible the same gender as you, if not you are headed into sexual relationships that will reck you more.........


I won't say you should stay back in your marriage but i tell you if you can please hold on to it, except you plan on staying single after separation and of any sexual relationships, if not you may still experience it again out there.

Uzorbaby:
Good evening house, I opened a new account for this issues. This is my ninth years in marriage with 3 kids and since the third year till now the problem I keep having with my husband is infidelity, when ever I catch him he apologises but still continues. Recently I found out he is into a single mother who claim to be a deconess and he opened a business for her and doesn't feel apologetic about it, this same lady when I had not discovered their affairs he sends her his last card and begs me for money. He calls her everyday , video calls her and sends her money frequently.right now I feel faustrated and depressed. I will really love to leave him and rent a house close to my shop but the amount to do that will greatly affect my business if I do that because I just started it 3 months ago. I just need someone I can talk to, gist about normal stuff of life so that my mind can move away from him pending when I will be able to rent a house. I just want to be happy

First of all, I must commend your courage. Very few women can withstand what you are going through.

Sorry to say, you haven’t married a man. You are unfortunately a victim of what is prevalent in today’s society - men becoming a play thing to women.

Making up your mind to live in your own apartment is the best decision to make. If you continue like this, there is a limit, and I am sure you will soon break. He does not even respect you.

Glad you are coming out to seek help, NL is a fun place to be, I trust people will keep you company here. You can also quote me if you feel like talking to someone.

Men are afraid of silence of a woman that is been pushed to the wall.
Simple tips:
Don’t ever confront him again, give him space, ignore him concentrate on your children and yourself. Start dressing well and take good care of yourself. Don’t ever give him money again. Keep him in silent treatment. Take yourself out on dates along. But remember don’t cheat back or try to revenge because two wrongs don’t make a right. Lastly pray Always to God for inner strength and peace then watch how he will be restored to his default settings. DM me so we can talk more

Women can be manipulative in nature.

Maybe you should wait till the single mum tells him to either chase you away or kill you so she can become the main wife.

I've seen cases like that.
The woman manipulated convinced the man to kill his first child so that they use him for ritual in order to become rich.

Aunty, you better watch out.

Why should any of that matter to her? Why should any of that matter to her? ...

Not the man's fault if you did not marry a virgin, let him be and let him have his fill, a woman has her fill before marriage and a man has his fill after marriage,
If you had kept yourself there won't be no need for him to be trying to have his fill now.

So when you leave your marriage now and you need it you become a side chick to someone's husband abi

LOL. Marital advice from Nairaland.

Here goes:

From your write up it’s obvious it’s only money keeping you with him.

Raise the money and leave if you want.

Only you will enjoy or suffer any consequence.

An alternative is to look for grandmothers and older women with successful homes around you and ask for their advice.

Uzorbaby:
Good evening house, I opened a new account for this issues. This is my ninth years in marriage with 3 kids and since the third year till now the problem I keep having with my husband is infidelity, when ever I catch him he apologises but still continues. Recently I found out he is into a single mother who claim to be a deconess and he opened a business for her and doesn't feel apologetic about it, this same lady when I had not discovered their affairs he sends her his last card and begs me for money. He calls her everyday , video calls her and sends her money frequently.right now I feel faustrated and depressed. I will really love to leave him and rent a house close to my shop but the amount to do that will greatly affect my business if I do that because I just started it 3 months ago. I just need someone I can talk to, gist about normal stuff of life so that my mind can move away from him pending when I will be able to rent a house. I just want to be happy

Uzorbaby:
Good evening house, I opened a new account for this issues. This is my ninth years in marriage with 3 kids and since the third year till now the problem I keep having with my husband is infidelity, when ever I catch him he apologises but still continues. Recently I found out he is into a single mother who claim to be a deconess and he opened a business for her and doesn't feel apologetic about it, this same lady when I had not discovered their affairs he sends her his last card and begs me for money. He calls her everyday , video calls her and sends her money frequently.right now I feel faustrated and depressed. I will really love to leave him and rent a house close to my shop but the amount to do that will greatly affect my business if I do that because I just started it 3 months ago. I just need someone I can talk to, gist about normal stuff of life so that my mind can move away from him pending when I will be able to rent a house. I just want to be happy

Do not leave the marriage except there is a threat to your life. Life will be tougher without a masculine energy that built those kids with you. Life is not about you and your husband alone. Consider those souls that need your guidance. Would you want your daughters to divorce their husbands? That is exactly what you are training them if you leave.

Oh, is he promiscuous? That sounds familiar. What you can do is drain his nut sac daily and you know how.

Are you sure he is cheating? May be he is just helping a poor widow like Elijah helped the widow.

Too bad. Why not try talk to God or ensure anyone you want to start talking to must be somebody that will be God fearing. So that you don't fall into the same trap.

Bigseven:
■ Men are afraid of silence of a woman that is been pushed to the wall.
Simple tips:
Don’t ever confront him again, give him space, ignore him concentrate on your children and yourself. Start dressing well and take good care of yourself. Don’t ever give him money again. Keep him in silent treatment. Take yourself out on dates along. But remember don’t cheat back or try to revenge because two wrongs don’t make a right. Lastly pray Always to God for inner strength and peace then watch how he will be restored to his default settings. DM me so we can talk more

You impose God as if a shackle --- restrictions --- on the woman all while knowing the man roams free? You want her to pray for what exactly at this point in time? WOW..

OP,many people do not wish for you to be free because you are in there eyes a married woman and required to wear at least religious chains for the rest of you because of it. They wouldn't impose the same on the man though because somehow their religious god does not hold men to the same standards. Please know that you are the one who should determine how free you ought to be in your life same as your husband who wickedly chose to disrespect you in marriage. No other humans opinion should matter.

GodHimself:
■ LOL. Marital advice from Nairaland. Here goes:From your write up it’s obvious it’s only money keeping you with him. Raise the money and leave if you want. Only you will enjoy or suffer any consequence. An alternative is to look for grandmothers and older women with successful homes around you and ask for their advice.

By successful homes you mean women who endured in silence abuse and deceit in marriage from their husbands in silence, all at the cost of their mental health, abi?

JobZoneNews:
■ Too bad. Why not try talk to God or ensure anyone you want to start talking to must be somebody that will be God fearing. So that you don't fall into the same trap.

Which God? I hope you are not referring to the very same God whose said your marriages are of this world and not of the Kingdom of God? You don't mean the same God who said that there are no special blessings on the married, however special blessings belong to people who would live as Eunuchs, including women who have no of their own to care for? Is that the same God you wish to impose on OP because her husband is cheating on her probably as some sort or punishment?

That’s a weird definition of success.

What is the matter with you.

Kobojunkie:
By successful homes you mean women who endured in silence abuse and deceit in marriage from their husbands in silence, all at the cost of their mental health, abi?

anthonyuncle:
Hmm.
Sorry for what you are experiencing.
Did you not notice his infidelity while dating?

Hahahaaa what a question. you mean people cant change after 9 years

GodHimself:
■ That’s a weird definition of success. What is the matter with you.

Considering the vast majority of Nigerian grandmothers who Nigerian society considers successful in marriage are mostly that, psychologically battered women, what else?

Nick23890:
See finish done enter the marriage. Try to keep less conversation with him, mind your business, focus on ur business and kids. Let the community preek keep deceiving himself that he's enjoying. Save more money and abandon him when he needs you the most. Pay evil with evil when people refuse to behave. If he has property currently do the needful. Don't be pampering mad people

Does these advice applies also to your own kids and direct relative's?

Let’s consider someone like Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala.

The Nigerian society is sick, fyi.

Kobojunkie:
Considering the vast majority of Nigerian grandmothers who Nigerian society considers successful in marriage are mostly that, psychologically battered women, what else?

GodHimself:
Let’s consider someone like Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala. The Nigerian society is sick, fyi.

I don't know enough about her marriage to comment given she too may be yet another "successful" in marriage grandmother as well. I recall reading of another successful women who recently lost her successful-in-marriage status after 30 years of the endurance game. I guess we have to remove her from the list since she couldn't endure until the end, right?

Nigerian society is sick, abi? Like say na the air and not the people wey dey carry all of that sickness around.

MADAM DON'T MAKE THE MISTAKE OF LIVING YOUR HUSBAND, FROM YOUR STORY YOU'VE BEEN PUTTING UP WITH HIS INFIDELITY FOR MORE THAN 6,YRS, SO WHAT HAS CHANGED? BECAUSE HE HAS OPENED A BUSINESS FOR YOU, YOU NOW FEEL YOU CAN DO WITHOUT HIM. YOU'LL REGRET IT. CAN YOU CATER FOR YOURSELF AND THE 3CHILDREN NO!!!.
LOOK I DON'T SUPPORT INFIDELITY BUT MY DEAR 2 WRONGS CANNOT MAKE IT RIGHT YOU NEED SOMEBODY TO TALK TO BEFORE YOU KNOW IT ANOTHER MAN IS INTO YOU.
BY LIVING THE HOUSE YOU'VE CONCEDED DEFEAT. AS LONG AS YOUR HUSBAND COMES BACK HOME HOLD HIM TIGHT.

LET ME TELL YOU ONLY A CHANGE IN YOUR BEHAVIOUR CAN CRASH YOUR HUSBAND AFFAIR WITH WHOEVER.

JUST ASK GOD THAT YOU WANT YOUR HUSBAND FULLY THROUGH PRAYERS AND CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS HIM.

I READ A WOMAN POST ON FACEBOOK LAST WEEK SHE SAID ALL A MAN NEEDS FROM A WOMAN (WIFE) IS "RESPECT, SEX AND FOOD" ASK YOUR MOTHER OR ANYWOMAN THAT HAS BEEN MARRIED FOR 30YRS OR MORE.

GOD SHOULD BE YOUR ADVISER NOW, TURN TO THE BIBLE.

Let’s keep this simple.

She would still have to make her decision and ultimately face the consequences alone.

The grandmothers provide her with access to multiple 20/30 year experiences/wisdom.

She doesn’t have to go down that route.

Kobojunkie:
I don't know enough about her marriage to comment given she too may be yet another "successful" in marriage grandmother as well. I recall reading of another successful women who recently lost her successful-in-marriage status after 30 years of the endurance game. I guess we have to remove her from the list since she couldn't endure until the end, right?

Nigerian society is sick, abi? Like say na the air and not the people wey dey carry all of that sickness around.

GodHimself:
■ Let’s keep this simple. She will still have to make her decision and will also ultimately face the consequences alone.
■ The grandmothers provide her with access to multiple 20/30 year experiences/wisdom. She doesn’t have to go down that route.

Even babies face consequences so stop threatening op with it.

2. Would you equally advice a man, a friend of yours or even your brother, [quote][/quote]whose wife has been cheating on him for the last 6 years to seek out the wisdom of these grandmothers or grandfather's in successful marriages?

She WILL face the consequences of her decisions.

It’s Wisdom to seek counsel.

Kobojunkie:
Even babies face consequences so stop threatening op with it.

2. Would you equally advice a man, a friend of yours or even your brother, whose wife has been cheating on him for the last 6 years to seek out the wisdom of these grandmothers or grandfather's in successful marriages?

GodHimself:
She WILL face the consequences of her decisions. It’s Wisdom to seek counsel.

Would you equally advise a man, a friend of yours, or even your brother, whose wife has been cheating on him for the last 6 years to seek out this same wisdom of these grandmothers or grandfathers in successful marriages? YES or NO!

Humans eat consequences for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. No need to threaten anyone with it. The consequence of OP's husband cheating on her for 6 years is depression/mental abuse which OP is fed up with. She is not the one cheating but she is definitely dealing with one of the consequences of her husband's adultery. So, would you equally advice a brother or son of yours to accept such a condition as a consequence?

Don’t be a troll.

Calling it a threat is your perspective.

Your perspective is your business, not mine.

I repeat, she alone will enjoy or suffer the consequences of her decision.

Kobojunkie:
Would you equally advise a man, a friend of yours, or even your brother, whose wife has been cheating on him for the last 6 years to seek out this same wisdom of these grandmothers or grandfathers in successful marriages? YES or NO!

Humans eat consequences for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. No need to threaten anyone with it. The consequence of OP's husband cheating on her for 6 years is depression/mental abuse which OP is fed up with. She is not the one cheating but she is definitely dealing with one of the consequences of her husband's adultery. So, would you equally advice a brother or son of yours to accept such a condition as a consequence?

GodHimself:
Don’t be a troll. Calling it a treat is your perspective. Your perspective is your business not mine. I repeat, she alone will enjoy or suffer the consequences of her decision.

You are running away from the questions.

OP, now you see the true mettle of this one. He willingly prescribes for you that which he would not prescribe to his son or brother.

Mimicle101:



Hahahaaa what a question. you mean people cant change after 9 years

This is a habit the man has developed over the years

Kobojunkie:
You impose God as if a shackle --- restrictions --- on the woman all while knowing the man roams free? You want her to pray for what exactly at this point in time? WOW..

OP,many people do not wish for you to be free because you are in their eyes a married woman and required to wear at least religious chains for the rest of you because of it. They wouldn't impose the same on the man though because somehow their religious god does not hold men to the same standards. Please know that you are the one who should determine how free you ought to be in your life same as your husband who wickedly chose to disrespect you in marriage. No other humans opinion should matter.

I think your comprehension level is average judging by your output. So because the man roaming she should enter depression Abi ? See her as your sister then advice accordingly but don’t counter my position on her matter because you don’t have an idea what an untamed man in terms of infidelity can do. If you don’t encourage such women to be strong and moved on then depression will be the order of the day. As for God matter, even if you are an atheist you won’t ask her to cheat back instead to pray to whatever she believes because two wrongs can’t make a right. So i don’t even know what your argument is Ewwww

Bigseven:
■ I think your comprehension level is average judging by your output. So because the man roaming she should enter depression Abi ?
■ See her as your sister then advice accordingly but don’t counter my position on her matter because you don’t have an idea what an untamed man in terms if infidelity can do.
■ If you don’t encourage such women to be strong and moved on then depression will be the order of the day.
■ As for God matter, even if you are an atheist you won’t ask her to cheat back instead to pray to whatever she believes because two wrongs can’t make a right. So i don’t even know what your argument is Ewwww

OP is already in depression as a result of her husband's roaming dick. She has probably been in depression for the last 6 years of his roaming. So why make it seem as though depression will only come to her now if she chooses to act in her own interest after all this time enduring mental abuse from another?

What an untamed man in terms of infidelity can do? What the fk does that mean and why should that be OP's concern at this point for Pete's sake?

3. OP has been in depression for all this while because of her husband's cheating. What in the world are you on about?

4. Two wrongs don't make a right, but her husband's wrong does, right? Abegi! Stop desperately trying to put chains on OP. You can't help but have her remain controlled, can you? For the umpteenth time, the woman is depressed as is and for no fault of hers in marriage. Her husband's cheating is the reason for her depression. So why are you trying to add chains to her predicament?

Uzorbaby:
Good evening house, I opened a new account for this issues. This is my ninth years in marriage with 3 kids and since the third year till now the problem I keep having with my husband is infidelity, when ever I catch him he apologises but still continues. Recently I found out he is into a single mother who claim to be a deconess and he opened a business for her and doesn't feel apologetic about it, this same lady when I had not discovered their affairs he sends her his last card and begs me for money. He calls her everyday , video calls her and sends her money frequently.right now I feel faustrated and depressed. I will really love to leave him and rent a house close to my shop but the amount to do that will greatly affect my business if I do that because I just started it 3 months ago. I just need someone I can talk to, gist about normal stuff of life so that my mind can move away from him pending when I will be able to rent a house. I just want to be happy

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