My husband is extremely caring and loving. He tries his best for me. And I try my best for him. I am a white lady and he is Nigerian. I take care of him and he always talks so fondly of me to all his friends and everyone around him. They tell me he truly loves me like crazy and that he would do anything for me.


But today I saw a side I never did see before. I found some casual flirting online from his side.on his phone. I became mad and angry. I I put his phone down forcefully. But thank God it did not break. I then shut myself in the bathroom with my husband's phone to look at it more .. he broke the door to get in. Because I would not let him in. He yelled at me alot and was very angry. He then threw the phone at my face and really hurt my nose... But after some time he cried and begged that I please stay. That he truly loves me and is shocked that he would ever hurt me. That he has never hurt a woman before in his life .. he begged and held me tightly so I could not leave and would not stop saying he loves me and that it was not his character at all. I have been with this man 2 years online and 5 months in person. We married so I could stay here with him and gain residency and help him. One day raise a family. He was very shocked and hurt by hurting me. I and I felt bad with my attitude that provoked him to such extreme. Never in my life expected this from such a gentle man who is so loving towards me and kind.


Should I forgive him and forget about all this and apologize? Or should I leave?

Happytravels:


They tell me he truly loves me like crazy and that he would do anything for me.

"They" tell you?

I think you should start using your own senses to hear and see for yourself if your husband "truly loves you like crazy" instead of letting yourself be told.

Saying that though, it is rather crazy of him to break the door down and then hit you just because he loves his phone.

Hit him back

Don't hit him. Insult him seriously so he can hit you again, make sure you record it and report it to the police. He should be kicked out of the house for domestic violence. That's how men over here behave.

You've missed your way for marrying a Nigerian man.

Happytravels:
My husband is extremely caring and loving. He tries his best for me. And I try my best for him. I am a white lady and he is Nigerian. I take care of him and he always talks so fondly of me to all his friends and everyone around him. They tell me he truly loves me like crazy and that he would do anything for me.
But today I saw a side I never did see before. I found some casual flirting online from his side.on his phone. I became mad and angry. I I put his phone down forcefully. But thank God it did not break. I then shut myself in the bathroom with my husband's phone to look at it more .. he broke the door to get in. Because I would not let him in. He yelled at me alot and was very angry. He then threw the phone at my face and really hurt my nose... But after some time he cried and begged that I please stay. That he truly loves me and is shocked that he would ever hurt me. That he has never hurt a woman before in his life .. he begged and held me tightly so I could not leave and would not stop saying he loves me and that it was not his character at all. I have been with this man 2 years online and 5 months in person. We married so I could stay here with him and gain residency and help him. One day raise a family. He was very shocked and hurt by hurting me. I and I felt bad with my attitude that provoked him to such extreme. Never in my life expected this from such a gentle man who is so loving towards me and kind.


Should I forgive him and forget about all this and apologize? Or should I leave?

thinking that a quiet man would remain quiet regardless of what you do to him, is your fail in this issue. its obvious that this man has a violent side to him and possibly has been pretending all this while, but NOW YOU KNOW WHAT TYPE OF MAN HE TRULY IS...and you should never ignore that. so you can either tread carefully from now on and communicate maturely with him when issues arise, rather than acting like a mad person (which will trigger him) OR if you know you will continue acting like this then you best ruuuuun for your life (before we hear sad stories about you in the future)

You know whats best for you. Figure it out!!!

I doubt any faceless person on here walks your shoe and can advise you with certainty. Just my two cents!

You have told us your own side of the story, ask him to come here and tell us his own side of the story.

I'm particularly interested in knowing who threw the first punch during your physical altercation

I Am Told I Am Dumb If I Marry A Nigerian Man
https://www.nairaland.com/8041062/told-dumb-marry-nigerian-man

The above is you Happytravels, from March, and you are already being beaten?

Have you considered renaming yourself Sorrowtravels, or Blindtravels. Both kinda suit you better.

From what you described above it seems like you're the one who needs to apologize to your husband.
("I put his phone down forcefully" = I threw away his phone, "I became mad and angry " = I insulted the life out of him). Not only that you snatched his phone and refused to give him until he had to break the door. But now that you have gone through the phone you are confused as to your next move. Because you didn't think it all through.

That aside anyway, I'll say it is wrong for you to bring this online. Because now you'll see all sorts of advice that'll most likely not benefit you in the long run if you do not apply wisdom

You really get nerves marrying a Nigerian man.


Sorry case.

A lot of us are narcissists when it comes to women though.

You should have known that.

Happytravels:
My husband is extremely caring and loving. He tries his best for me. And I try my best for him. I am a white lady and he is Nigerian. I take care of him and he always talks so fondly of me to all his friends and everyone around him. They tell me he truly loves me like crazy and that he would do anything for me.


But today I saw a side I never did see before. I found some casual flirting online from his side.on his phone. I became mad and angry. I I put his phone down forcefully. But thank God it did not break. I then shut myself in the bathroom with my husband's phone to look at it more .. he broke the door to get in. Because I would not let him in. He yelled at me alot and was very angry. He then threw the phone at my face and really hurt my nose... But after some time he cried and begged that I please stay. That he truly loves me and is shocked that he would ever hurt me. That he has never hurt a woman before in his life .. he begged and held me tightly so I could not leave and would not stop saying he loves me and that it was not his character at all. I have been with this man 2 years online and 5 months in person. We married so I could stay here with him and gain residency and help him. One day raise a family. He was very shocked and hurt by hurting me. I and I felt bad with my attitude that provoked him to such extreme. Never in my life expected this from such a gentle man who is so loving towards me and kind.


Should I forgive him and forget about all this and apologize? Or should I leave?

You have natural hair, you are fit, feminine friendly. You are also co-operative and submissive.

What could have gone wrong? WW & BM are a match made in heaven.

Skiborobo:
Don't hit him. Insult him seriously so he can hit you again, make sure you record it and report it to the police. He should be kicked out of the house for domestic violence. That's how men over here behave.

You've missed your way for marrying a Nigerian man.

This kind of character is the reason why you are a single mother with 2 kids

I beg leave and watch another woman grab him!

The truth is that you married a covert narc.
There are resources to help you get away because it's only going to get worse from here on up! Wise up before you leave in a body bag.

Skiborobo:
Don't hit him. Insult him seriously so he can hit you again, make sure you record it and report it to the police. He should be kicked out of the house for domestic violence. That's how men over here behave.

You've missed your way for marrying a Nigerian man.

u see why u will continue writing jamb? so far u have written it five times and still counting...it's because u don't have time to read but always eager to insult others....

Skiborobo:
Don't hit him. Insult him seriously so he can hit you again, make sure you record it and report it to the police. He should be kicked out of the house for domestic violence. That's how men over here behave.

You've missed your way for marrying a Nigerian man.

@Happytravels

Do not listen to this advice in quote. The poster is one of the brainless Nigerian females who get jealous of interracial marriages of Nigerian men and Caucasian women. They always wish such interracial marriages never succeed!

Skiborobo:
Don't hit him. Insult him seriously so he can hit you again, make sure you record it and report it to the police. He should be kicked out of the house for domestic violence. That's how men over here behave.

You've missed your way for marrying a Nigerian man.

You have a dark heart. RIP in advance to whoever that'll marry you.

Happytravels:
my attitude that provoked him to such extreme. Never in my life expected this from such a gentle man who is so loving towards me and kind.

I believe you would sit calmly and watch TV if someone else took your phone with such aggression and hostility and ran off to lock themselves to invade your privacy, right? You snatched HIS PHONE and locked yourself to violate his privacy and here you are acting shocked and victimized by the reaction you intentionally generated.

You had all the opportunity to return his phone but you didn't. He broke the door? Why so quick to tell us about that? Why don't you tell us about how you did not return the phone you stole before he broke the door.?

You are an innocent victim and peaceful woman but you refused to return his property even after he got in and here you are playing the victim card with puppy eyes. Someone is trying to be clever by half and this is not GASLIGHTING. No it isn't, you are the innocent victim of a man who just got mad out of nothing.

Anyways, You got the reaction you wanted, congratulations.

Skiborobo:
Don't hit him. Insult him seriously so he can hit you again, make sure you record it and report it to the police. He should be kicked out of the house for domestic violence. That's how men over here behave.

You've missed your way for marrying a Nigerian man.

Oooo, they're getting BIG MAD telling the OP to ignore your submission, lest you spoil market for them.😆

imagrg:
I beg leave and watch another woman grab him!

So she can get her share of the beating right?

Happytravels:
My husband is extremely caring and loving. He tries his best for me. And I try my best for him. I am a white lady and he is Nigerian. I take care of him and he always talks so fondly of me to all his friends and everyone around him. They tell me he truly loves me like crazy and that he would do anything for me.


But today I saw a side I never did see before. I found some casual flirting online from his side.on his phone. I became mad and angry. I I put his phone down forcefully. But thank God it did not break. I then shut myself in the bathroom with my husband's phone to look at it more .. he broke the door to get in. Because I would not let him in. He yelled at me alot and was very angry. He then threw the phone at my face and really hurt my nose... But after some time he cried and begged that I please stay. That he truly loves me and is shocked that he would ever hurt me. That he has never hurt a woman before in his life .. he begged and held me tightly so I could not leave and would not stop saying he loves me and that it was not his character at all. I have been with this man 2 years online and 5 months in person. We married so I could stay here with him and gain residency and help him. One day raise a family. He was very shocked and hurt by hurting me. I and I felt bad with my attitude that provoked him to such extreme. Never in my life expected this from such a gentle man who is so loving towards me and kind.


Should I forgive him and forget about all this and apologize? Or should I leave?

He's only sorry because he knows he put his means of escape out of nigeria ( you) at risk before securing the real prize ( leaving Nigeria).

So let's list what you have from him so far.

1) casual flirting
2) physical violence

In just 5 months..think objectively, is this what you want for the rest of your life?

You have options and the power in the relationship, he needs you more than you need him. Use it and LEAVE.

Skiborobo:
Don't hit him. Insult him seriously so he can hit you again, make sure you record it and report it to the police. He should be kicked out of the house for domestic violence. That's how men over here behave.

You've missed your way for marrying a Nigerian man.

I pray he kills her before she finishes recording.

Skiborobo:
Don't hit him. Insult him seriously so he can hit you again, make sure you record it and report it to the police. He should be kicked out of the house for domestic violence. That's how men over here behave.

You've missed your way for marrying a Nigerian man.

Thats if she isn't killed during the process ...u see how u give stupid advice

Surgeman:
The truth is that you married a covert narc.
There are resources to help you get away because it's only going to get worse from here on up! Wise up before you leave in a body bag.

Stop gaslighting...she is the narcissist...she insulted him , seized his phone ...that's pure provocation and control.... if a man does same , he would get arrested

shaybebaby:

He's only sorry because he knows he put his means of escape out of nigeria ( you) at risk before securing the real prize ( leaving Nigeria).

So let's list what you have from him so far.

1) casual flirting
2) physical violence

In just 5 months..think objectively, is this what you want for the rest of your life?

You have options and the power in the relationship, he needs you more than you need him. Use it and LEAVE.

Ur evil mind is reason only evil men will approach u...that's how the universe works ..reason why u are whr u are today

Beverlyjean:


Ur evil mind is reason only evil men will approach u...that's how the universe works ..reason why u are whr u are today

Lol, and where is that?

Just because you are comfy with chopping beating does not mean you should advocate for others to suffer the same.

shaybebaby:

Lol, and where is that?

Just because you are comfy with chopping beating does not mean you should advocate for others to suffer the same.

I can't chop beating cos I'm properly raised ... ur minds set has said it all about ur personality

Beverlyjean:


I can't chop beating cos I'm properly raised ... ur minds set has said it all about ur personality

You "think" you are, but nah, not if you endorse violence.

Infact I think you are a male masquerading as female on this site. That says a lot about your shadiness if I'm right.

Tales by moonlight..

shaybebaby:


You "think" you are, but nah, not if you endorse violence.

Infact I think you are a male masquerading as female on this site. That says a lot about your shadiness if I'm right.

Be open minded and view the world better....its not a cold war between both gender ...I dont hv to agree with all thing bout my gender

Marry without troubles can never work fine their must be problems but the way both handle it amicably without third parties will give them happy home. Keep living together solve ur problems between both.

Beverlyjean:


Be open minded and view the world better....its not a cold war between both gender ...I dont hv to agree with all thing bout my gender

Totally agree, not a cold war hence why violence should be eschewed and not justified.