Most young ladies that come to me for counseling are confused in their relationships, they want to get it right but they don’t know how, most are looking for a life partner but they don’t know whether the person they are with is the will of God for them. While others a still looking for their life partner.

Please take time to read this it will give you a lot of insight in making right decision since marriage is a lifetime union, once you get it right every other  favour will follow you.

1. Don’t ever start a relationship without seeking the will of God first, most people will start and ask God to confirm for them this is very wrong God knows the end from the beginning he takes the lead while you follow don’t take a lead as ask God to follow you.
Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.(ps 37:5)

2. If you know you can’t marry the person you are dating why date him at all, know matter what you are gaining from him you will eventually pay all without knowing it.
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap(Gal 6:7).
A young lady dated this handsome guy for 4yrs during which they were parading themselves as couples later this girl caught the guy with another girl and decided to break up with him. Now who lost out, the guy married the same girl she caught him with while she was left searching after wasting 4yrs of her time she is already 27yrs and desperate.

Please don’t waste your time courting, a man can get married at the age of 45 but for a lady it will need a miracle, after six months in your relationship if the guy is not making plan you better think twice.

3. Don’t ever date a married man; it is a permanent seal to single-hood and barrenness
My Aunt dated married men, she has had four miscarriages, and she is still searching for a child after 12yrs of marriage.
What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder(mark 10:9). this is a command.

You might say after all you friend did it and she is happy in her marriage, just watch how the story will end.

4. Never you date a man because of his pocket, but rather look out for a man that has the fear of God
A staff on mine once told me that she can never marry a man who does not have a  private car, I laugh. Eventually she marriage a man with a private car, who owns a house in Lagos. Three yrs into their marriage this guy had financial problem, he sold the car and the house  travelled abroad leaving the woman a child.
Another Lady got married to this rich guy, after four years the husband died leaving her with two daughters
He that trusteth in his riches shall fall: but the righteous shall flourish as a branch(Prov 11:28).
You might say all those born again are pretenders, if this is your response you have not seen yet let me give you a clue.
You will know a true born again by his words; do his words inspire faith or fear to you?
If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain(James 1:26).
Does he have self control?
A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls (prov 25:28 NLT) .

5. Then avoid premarital sex, if your fiancé cannot zip his trouser while you guys are dating don’t ever think that he will do it when you are married, I bet you he can’t be faithful.
If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?(heb 11:3)
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge(heb 13:4).
Don’t let the devil deceive you by telling you it’s not possible. It is by the spirit you rule the flesh……………….i will talk more on this later.
I will conclude by saying don’t ever think you can change him, if he is not changed now he won’t when you get married to him.
I can’t post all most young ladies I meet have shared with me in their relationships, but this thread is open for you to post any challenges you are having in your  relationship, we will advice you by the Spirit of God, and you will have your testimony.

The next thread will be how to get your life partner, very simple

@  poster wow this is inspiring ,

Poster, God bless you

@poster
funny how some people are quick to base their "facts" on what some few people have done out there. who cares what you aunt did or why some dum[b]b[/b]ass had to get married. people should use their BRAINS, forget the rest!!!!

#1 anyone who seeks a "sign from God", rather than USE THEIR BRAIN to evaluate a possible partner, IS A FOOOOL and deserves whatever misery they getting!

#2 how would you know if you can/want to marry someone WITHOUT DATING?! this is not biblical time, this is 2011. you need to FIRST be friends, then SECOND you need to like each other enough to start dating, then THIRD you need to become soulmate, and then LAST BUT NOT LEAST, you need to decide if you want to make that very important move towards MARRIAGE. anyone who is stoopid enough to think that, within 6months of knowing someone, you can confirm that you will marry them is a he/she goat!
unless that person has become your soulmate, there is no reason why anyone should decide to get married. and we all know that it takes MUCH MORE than 6months for 2 people to FULLY know and discover each other get to that "soulmate" position.

#3 what if that man is a polygamist and wants to take her as a second wife, is that wrong?! are you saying that all the polygamists in 9ja are wrong and should be approached by these desperate damsels?!

#4 there are many men (or women) out there that are god fearing "on sunday" and yet cheat and beat their wives to a pulp. the fear of God is "nice" but anyone should USE THEIR BRAIN and evaluate their partners for what he/she PORTRAYS in this union, NOTHING ELSE!!!. . . . . TRUST, RESPECT, HONESTY etc. that is the IMPORTANT foundation needed to sustain any r/ship.

#5 NONSENSE OF THE HIGHEST ORDER!!!!!! if a man demands for sex before marriage, that doesnt mean for one second that he will be unfaithful, get real dude! that means he is honest in telling you what HE REQUIRES in this r/ship (at that particular time), and if the lady gives him a worthy reason then he will wait.
here is a clue: if a cheat ask for s[b]e[/b]x before marriage and his future bride says NO, he can simply go and CHEAT to get it, et voila! so your solution of no sex before marriage is pointless because this lady would STILL get married with a cheater, BWAAAAAAAAH!
COMMUNICATION and UNDERSTANDING of each other, is the KEY, nothing else!!!!! saying that no sex before marriage will get you the RIGHT man is not only false but also silly.

@Mrbrownjay, you won't understand because u ar just a guy

@op tnx a lot
@ MBj do u really support sex b4 marriage n also a man dat beats his wife is nt a God fearin man, he is a bench warmer
Going after a married man is a no no

MRbrownJAY:

@poster
funny how some people are quick to base their "facts" on what some few people have done out there. who cares what you aunt did or why some dum[b]b[/b]Bottom had to get married. people should use their BRAINS, forget the rest!!!!

#1 anyone who seeks a "sign from God", rather than USE THEIR BRAIN to evaluate a possible partner, IS A FOOOOL and deserves whatever misery they getting!

#2 how would you know if you can/want to marry someone WITHOUT DATING?! this is not biblical time, this is 2011. you need to FIRST be friends, then SECOND you need to like each other enough to start dating, then THIRD you need to become soulmate, and then LAST BUT NOT LEAST, you need to decide if you want to make that very important move towards MARRIAGE. anyone who is stoopid enough to think that, within 6months of knowing someone, you can confirm that you will marry them is a he/she goat!
unless that person has become your soulmate, there is no reason why anyone should decide to get married. and we all know that it takes MUCH MORE than 6months for 2 people to FULLY know and discover each other get to that "soulmate" position.

#3 what if that man is a polygamist and wants to take her as a second wife, is that wrong?! are you saying that all the polygamists in 9ja are wrong and should be approached by these desperate damsels?!

#4 there are many men (or women) out there that are god fearing "on sunday" and yet cheat and beat their wives to a pulp. the fear of God is "nice" but anyone should USE THEIR BRAIN and evaluate their partners for what he/she PORTRAYS in this union, NOTHING ELSE!!!. . . . .  TRUST, RESPECT, HONESTY etc. that is the IMPORTANT foundation needed to sustain any r/ship.

#5 NONSENSE OF THE HIGHEST ORDER!!!!!! if a man demands for sex before marriage, that doesnt mean for one second that he will be unfaithful, get real dude! that means he is honest in telling you what HE REQUIRES in this r/ship (at that particular time), and if the lady gives him a worthy reason then he will wait.
here is a clue: if a cheat ask for s[b]e[/b]x before marriage and his future bride says NO, he can simply go and CHEAT to get it, et voila! so your solution of no sex before marriage is pointless because this lady would STILL get married with a cheater, BWAAAAAAAAH!
COMMUNICATION and UNDERSTANDING of each other, is the KEY, nothing else!!!!! saying that no sex before marriage will get you the RIGHT man is not only false but also silly.

1. It is wrong to seek a sign from God, the holy spirit that lives in u will guide you in all truth(jh 16:13)

2. Man's wisdom is foolishness to God, do let your senses determine your life. God has place eternity in the heart of a man you can't know all about somebody during courtship no matter how hard you try with your sense, just let the spirit of God guide you.

3.God condemns polygamy, it's out of the context.

4. That is why u will need the guidiance of holyspirit

5. If you love her then marry her, and her body becomes yours

@op interesting. true words there. a word is enough for the wise.

okay you have truths but here is what.There's no formula for life!!
If you want to get married you choose to! People seek God and still end up going separate ways! That should tell u that it takes your own will to make relationships work!
Human relationships are not spiritual like we have with God. They are natural and carnal so we use the wisdom given to us by God to make them happen.
This leaving God to think and do everything for us is making us evade responsibility.
And am a christian by the way op so dont get me wrong.



2.  If you know you can’t marry the person you are dating why date him at all, know matter what you are gaining from him you will eventually pay all without knowing it.
C'mmon what do u understand by dating?We learn a lot from each other.we dont spend dating in bed.

A young lady dated this handsome guy for 4yrs during which they were parading themselves as couples later this girl caught the guy with another girl and decided to break up with him. Now who lost out, the guy married the same girl she caught him with while she was left searching after wasting 4yrs of her time she is already 27yrs and desperate.
Have u met a guy called Chunk and one Downcasted ?

Please don’t waste your time courting,Oh puuuuuuliz give me a break! now that is heresy. you just spoilt it.

pendo89:


okay you have truths but here is what.There's no formula for life!!

If you want to get married you choose to! People seek God and still end up going separate ways! That should tell u that it takes your own will to make relationships work!
Human relationships are not spiritual like we have with God. They are natural and carnal so we use the wisdom given to us by God to make them happen.
This leaving God to think and do everything for us is making us evade responsibility.
And am a christian by the way op so dont get me wrong.



2.  If you know you can’t marry the person you are dating why date him at all, know matter what you are gaining from him you will eventually pay all without knowing it.
C'mmon what do u understand by dating?We learn a lot from each other.we dont spend dating in bed.

A young lady dated this handsome guy for 4yrs during which they were parading themselves as couples later this girl caught the guy with another girl and decided to break up with him. Now who lost out, the guy married the same girl she caught him with while she was left searching after wasting 4yrs of her time she is already 27yrs and desperate.
Have u met a guy called Chunk and one Downcasted ?

Please don’t waste your time courting,Oh puuuuuuliz give me a break! now that is heresy. you just spoilt it.

@Pendo89, the formula for life is the word of God, do u believe in the word of God? if u do it says


But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you(matt 6:33).

For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.(Rom 8:6), if you follow it carnally u will reap a carnal reward

But from your expression i can perceive u ar still an adolescence, there are some truth you may need to find out yourself,

KgSolomon:

@Pendo89, the formula for life is the word of God, do u believe in the word of God?

More than you do I guess. And no I passed that 'adole' stage years ago.Maybe you weren't even born. How old are you anyway cz u sound like a young guy who just met the lord the other day and wants to save the world.It happens you know.I Am just sober minded and balanced and I tell everybody its good to be spiritual and natural.
We are not spirits you know. Don't be an extremist lest u become irrelevant or too useless for this world.
Theres a time for everything rem.

pendo89:

More than you do I guess. And no I passed that 'adole' stage years ago.Maybe you weren't even born. How old are you anyway cz u sound like a young guy who just met the lord the other day and wants to save the world.It happens you know.I Am just sober minded and balanced and I tell everybody its good to be spiritual and natural.
We are not spirits you know. Don't be an extremist lest u become irrelevant or too useless for this world.
Theres a time for everything rem.

I reserve my comment,

KgSolomon:

I reserve my comment,

_wouf
nway bro,apart from what I highlighted,am cool with the other points.keep preaching.

i sure can get happily married without having to read the whole gist up there. . .but thanx for the info anyway.

and why would any 'normal' guy want to agree with #5?

mykali:

i sure can get happily married without having to read the whole gist up there. . .but thanx for the info anyway.

and why would any 'normal' guy want to agree with #5?

lol there's other ways to pleasure guys.it's always good to give them a limit so they can work for more.as a westernized virgin, i have already had 3 guys proposed to me once they found out i was a virgin at 19.

am not religious btw.

@kgSolomon, God bless u a zillion. All u wrote up there is the truth- undiluted. Pls ignore any juvenile insults. U know de 'mouth' of de world we live in. If u don't mind, i'd like u to give me ur email add. Tnx

Wislet:

@kgSolomon, God bless u a zillion. All u wrote up there is the truth- undiluted. Pls ignore any juvenile insults. U know de 'mouth' of de world we live in. If u don't mind, i'd like u to give me your email add. Tnx

I appreciate, the e-mail is kgsolomon7@gmail.com

KgSolomon:


Don’t let the devil deceive you by telling you it’s not possible. It is by the spirit you rule the flesh……………….i will talk more on this later.

@poster
can you talk more on this as u promised, i know a lot of people like mykali and 190 will like to learn.

I just gave your e-mail address to a female friend, she has some personal questions. Take time to advice her

tithe:

@poster
can you talk more on this as u promised, i know a lot of people like mykali and 190 will like to learn.

A guy once told me that he is a born again but he still do have irection, i said it is normal for a man to experience that but he should not allow the irection to determine the direction

We are spirit being that lives in a physical body so it is normal for the body to have some ignoble actions and tots, but by the spirit u mortify the deeds of the flesh.

1. Guard your tots, if watch, read and think on it you will definitely live it.
  You can't stop birds from flying over your head but u can stop them from perching on your head, so it is with tots,

For as he thinks in his heart, so is he, (prov 23:7 NLT)
Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.(prov 4:23)

2. If you are a born again u don't need to struggle over it, the spirit of God u recieve will give you grace to overcome it.
For it is God who works in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.(phil 2:1)
And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them (Ezek 36:27).

3. If your fiancee comes to your house, it will be very obvious that the rate of fornication will increase, so you will have to avoid that
    no matter how spiritual you may be.
Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?(prob 6:27)


And finally do don't conform to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind(Rom 12:2)