All d jokes here are not funny @ all, they are as dry as Bin Brain

^^^^

okay!! thanks.

VERY SILLY QUESTIONS WITH APPROPRIATE REPLIES



1. How are you?- - - -Are you a doctor?

2. Are you awake?- - - -I am dreaming, ediot!

3. Are you back?- - -I am front

4. Are you alright?- - - -I am all left.

5.What is the matter?- - -Matter is anything that has mass and can occupy space

6.Why me?- - -You want your papa instead?

7.Are you crying?- - -No, i am coming with my eyes, goat!

8.Who do you think you are?- - -Your faada!

9.What do you take me for?- - -Mrs patience Jonathan

10.Do you love me?- - -I dey craze?

11.Where have you been?- - -When did you join the police?

12.is that your car?- - -Na my wheelbarrow

13.Will you marry me?- - -Allah forbid!

14.How far now?- - -i nor dey time my life

15.Are you sure?- - -I am Nivea!!! NONSENSE!!

how come na only u dey laff for dis thread, make I help you a lil



EEDIOT



FOOL

smile e sweet joor

^^^^

Omo d docta n d man with 5 pikin 2 sweet. I laff nearly miscarriage

^^^
Tak heart, take heart my king!!!

SUTOBOY



THIS WAS A JAMB

Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
A: his last battle

Q2: Where was the declaration of Independence signed?
A: at the bottom of the page.

Q3: River Kanji flows in which state?
A : liquid

Q4: What is the main reason for failure?
A: exams

Q5: What is the main reason for divorce?
A: Marriage

Q6: What can you never eat for breakfast?
A: Lunch & dinner

Q7: What looks like half an apple?
A: the other half

Q8: If you throw a red stone into the blue sea, what will it become?
A: it will simply become wet

Q9: How can a man go eight days without sleeping?
A: No problem, he sleeps only at night.

Q10: How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A: you will never find an elephant that has only one hand

Q11: If you had 3 apples and 4 oranges in one hand and 4 apples and 3 oranges in other hand, what would you have?
A: very large hands.

Q12: If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A: No time at all, the wall is already built.

Q13: How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A: Anyway you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

      EKEROYAL AND THE STAMMERER 

Ekeroyal was in warri  for the first time and was hard pressed to empty his bowels.
He didnt know where public toilet was and didnt know anybody too but was lucky to come across a good sammaritan.The following ensued between them;

Ekeroyal: Please sah!, can you direct me to the nearest public toillet?

Good sammaritan: Ye- ye--ye- -yes!!,wal-  -wal  walk straight to- to to oto to - -the the the th the-the blu- blu- blu- blue- -blue kior- kiooooor- - -kiosk(whistles) in in - -fro- -froooor fro front of the  the bi  --bi  bibii ---bii biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii  big tree on on on-on  your your your ler- -lerr- -leerrr. . . . . .

Ekeroyal:Thank you

Good sammaritan:wh- -wh ----whaa  whaaaaa   why?

Ekeroyal:i don finish!!  all i  need now is water to wash myself



  houseflies paraded on the scene immediately. and the good sammaritan fainted!!

CHEI

Boyfriend: How do I play the guitar?
Girlfriend: You should be on TV for your talent.
Boyfriend: Am I so good?
Boyfriend: If you were on TV, I can at least switch it off.

YO MOMMA


Yo mamma’s so fat, when she goes to take a swim the whales join her singing “We are family!”

Yo mamma’s so fat, when people forget her name they shout “Two and a half men”

Yo Momma’s so fat, you need to help her open her eyelids.

Yo Momma’s so fat, when she seen her feet in the mirror she asked who was down there.

Yo Momma’s so ugly, that when the zombies attacked they asked her to be their leader.

Yo momma’s so poor when she picked up a can from the garbage truck she told you you’ve got a new home.

Yo Momma is so fat, she was blocking the sun when God said “Let there be light”

Yo Momma is so stupid, she missed the ground when she threw a rock at it.

Yo Momma i so dumb, she went to the police to complain a stationary car hit her.

BAD OLD MEN

Three old men climbed to the top of a ladder where they were met by a genie
who said "As you return back down , whatever you shout, you will land into".
First man goes " Beeeer" as he descends. "Braaandy" shouted the second man.
The third man quite excitedely shouted "Weeeeeeeeeeee".

TYPES OF WOMEN

We notice some men doesn't know the category their women fall in and we've brought you the Four Basic types of Women, we believe your partner will fall into one of this below:


1. Asmathic - aah, aah, aah,,

2. Religious - oh my God, ooooh Lord,

3. Obedient - yes, yes, oooh yes,

4. Aggressive - bleep me, bleep me, oh bleep me more, !

abeg remind me ur ward again!

i don forget!

na ward 2?

SMART BIN

IT was a very hot afternoon and i was very hungry.
I checked my wallet, and was left with just 30 naira.
i went to the eatery, where i ordered for fufu and bitter leaf soup.
Na him the waitress come dey ask me say na which kind meat i wan buy?
I had no money, so had to play smart.
i ask am " you get tiger meat for dia?" she said no!
"you get elephant?" she said no!

"ooooooh!, which kind yeye be this, i beg u nor get tortoise too?" she said no!

" you get okro?" she said yes!!

"abeg, abeg, dash me small okro make i go"













wisdom be that!!!!!

2 BOYS
Two boys were fighting, and one died!!!



u nor go laugh?

bunmi, what is the meaning of those emoticons?

CHILDREN OF IZRAEL


In a sunday school class one
sunday morning,after a very
interesting topic,the teacher
asked,"any question?"a little warri
boy,Akpos raised up his hand
looking very confused,
Aunty: what is your question
Akpos?
Boy: Aunty,you said the children
of Israel escaped from egypt?
Aunty: yes
Boy:the children of Israel also
crossed the red sea
Aunty:good,
Boy: the children of Israel also
sinned against God
Aunty: yea
Boy: the children of Israel pull
down the
mighty wall of jericho?
Aunty: what exactly is your
question Akpos!!!
Boy: aunty, when the children of
Israel were doing all these, where
were the
adults?

No let dis NPJC members make jest of us dt we r copying jokes, cos kellynoah jst post d joke above me

^^^

i am not aware oooooo!!!

Ok am sorry My President, hope av nt offended you

^^^

i am not offended, u only scared me!!

U TOO MUCH! UP PROJAN!
gbagbolosophy!

thanks lucario,

up projan!!!

SUNDAY SCHOOL

A LITTLE BOY WAS ASKED IN A SUNDAY SCHOOL CLASS THAT WHY DID ARON MOLDED O GOLDEN CALF FOR ISRAEL TO

WORSHIP INSTEAD OF THE WORSHIP OF THE LIVING GOD. THE BOY STOOD UP TO ANSWER THAT THE GOLD THEY HAD

WAS NOT ENOUGH TO MOLD GOLDEN COW THAT WAS WHY THEY WENT FOR LESSER IMAGE OF CALF

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-875200.0.html

;DK[b]EPT LAFFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!![/b]

A man was chatting with his friend on BB. He suddenly discovered that the man sitting beside him in the taxi was reading their conversation. Since he did not want to embarrass the intruder, he
decided to change the topic of the chat and he wrote, "abeg oga,
please tell Kabiru Sokoto or Abu Qaqa that I only took two of the
bombs we just manufactured for this operation. Let them know as well that I may find it difficult to get to the target place before the bombs explode becos there is terrible traffic jam now but nevertheless, I am sure casualty figure will be high since we are five in our taxi and all the vehicles in the traffic will be affected too. We ve less than 3mins for the bomb to go off, bye and take care of my children as agreed." The intruder quickly opened the taxi door and jumped.

haha, dat last one is so funny!