@Ifyalways

I'm Sorry for all the stress that i've caused and big thanks for all you've done so far,i will always be grateful.

I was asking for your account because i wanted to be as transparent as possible and not make it look like i was ripping people off.No one told me to keep things away from you.I was just being cautious with information and confused over so many things.I apologize once again.I didn't want to hide anything and i had this belief then that everything i receive is obvious to you.

God will bless you for all you have done.

Sometimes, you can just picture yourself in someone else's shoes and see how and where it pinches.
Chioma, I'm sending a big hug to you and your baby. 

ifyalways:

Chioma, thanks for coming back. According to you, you told me "those things" which included persistent lies that you don't know how Aunty kemi got your contact etc instead of just telling me that she wrote you earlier ? And all the time I was asking if you had your email or contact in nld you were saying no just COS you were advised not to tell me? Even when I almost cried COS I was highly confused, begged you to simply tell me the truth?
If you could tell me such lies persistently then I really had no biz meeting you.

As for the annonymous donors and crew. Its rather strange, considering the beautiful relationship "we" enjoy that anyone would think of using my account to send money to Chioma and at same time claim they are doing so COS they don't want "the right hand to see the left hand". You guys don't have relatives in naija?wu, money gram, money system and all other money transfer system nko? Sent with Chioma friend name or the doctors name?why are you guys trying so hard to make me "notice you " ? Is there any competition anywhere?

I'm glad things turned out the way it did.
Chioma, goodluck in your quest.

Ify (and others who initially had the intention of helping this girl or the baby),
While I'd understand if you backed down now, I beg you not to.
True, trivialities were overstretched on this thread, offense taken and as a result, motivation evaporated, but for the sake of the baby, can y'all continue with the original plan and give this lady the help she needs regarding the baby?

Missy_B:

Sometimes, you can just picture yourself in someone else's shoes and see how and where it pinches.
Chioma, I'm sending a big hug to you and your baby.


Ify (and others who initially had the intention of helping this girl or the baby),
While I'd understand if you backed down now, I beg you not to.
True, trivialities were overstretched on this thread, offense taken and as a result, motivation evaporated, but for the sake of the baby, can y'all continue with the original plan and give this lady the help she needs regarding the baby?

This message is from OAM4J and MissyB.

Who is asking for any olofo's account, na ya type, abeg wakapass, arrant nansense, blind dingbat pretending not to read where I wrote that all I did was refer OTHER donors to Chioma, directly, mschewww. . . Oshi and ilepako, notice me or die, jealousy is one hella mofo. . .keep spitting out your dummy screaming mine mine mine like a drooling baby. As if I did not mention at least twice on this thread that Chioma should take her baby to the Fadeyi orphanage you referred her to, cry cry baby. . .

God bless you for keeping it real Chioma.

she prefer to keep everything safe yet you keep talking about the Fadeyi orphanage as if there is 20 billion of them in Fadeyi just cus you want to abuse people.

the girl said its her mistake, explained everything and you still going on about it. what else do you want us do now

should i go and put ebo for orita first thing in the morning so that you can let this issue and whateva other issue go

@ Chioma, have you given any more thought on what you want for Destiny? Have you been in contact again with the Rev? If the Welfare office is saying they need o contact at least one of your family members before they can place Destiny in foster care and you are saying you don't want the involvement of any family member in this issue, where does that leave Destiny? Whatever route you decide to take just make sure you leave enough paper trail and documentation behind you because you'll need it when it's time to claim back your daughter.

@ all,  in case Chioma decides to do a private (no State agency involved)  temp. placement for her daughter, what about getting a lawyer involved to draw up some kind of agreement between her and the foster parent(s)?

r231:

she prefer to keep everything safe yet you keep talking about the Fadeyi orphanage as if there is 20 billion of them in Fadeyi just cus you want to abuse people.

the girl said its her mistake, explained everything and you still going on about it. what else do you want us do now

should i go and put ebo for orita first thing in the morning so that you can let this issue and whateva other issue go

What is the issue here please? Am I the first person to mention Fadeyi Orphanage since you are now here "claiming" this is supposed to be a secret? O ga o, so the continuous inflammatory allegation that i am the one after the account is a compliment abi, SMH.[quote][/quote]

^^^^^anyway you still need to come and support my charity

^^^

Me that have a chronic problem of derailing threads, best stand by the sidelines to watch

^^^ I don't care I need your donation every penny counts ehhh

thank you God will continue to bless you

^^^

Hah, a penny = N25, that is still a lot oh, that is two N10 eba money worth, with N5 for groundnut, owo yi poju ejo,  una fit come down on the minimum donation you would receive please I beg Beat it down a little, and I will come in under my Ms Anonymous cloak

^^^^^don't worry you can come as a ghost its ok

we need your support

we are all ONE

r231:

^^^^^don't worry you can come as a ghost its ok

we need your support

we are all ONE

Awww, we are truly ONE big happy family, group hug everyone and to the newest member of Nairaland, the bonding glue holding us together to not allow us lose focus - Baby Destiny the bright and morning star whose rosy glow would always shine the path ahead for us all AMIN/AMEN/ASHE

Moremi2008

i'm saying what i know.

Condoms are only effective if they're used and used correctly.

If you are plied with drink and have unprotected s.ex while drunk, you can get pregnant.

These days guys are even more savvy than girls when it comes to plotting ovulation cycles. In nigeria its not commonly done but it is overseas and the world is a much smaller place now.

You can say birth control- well maybe, but you're still exposing yourself to a risk of stds.

I fail to see any way in which the girl is a winner here.

And my post shouldnt be used to cook up some sob story later on, thanks, @ whoever.

I am speaking of things i know.

R231 I said stop taking sides, cos you re not helping here. Ify is a member of your organization and that is the more reason why you should stop finding faults in the other person.



@ify
I don't think you should back down, chioma had the right to withhold info if she was asked to by some other nlder the same way it's expected of her to with hold some info if YOU told her not to say a word. Begging her and asking her to tell you how aunty kemi got hold of her contact and stuff and she keeping it a secret Was the best thing to do since the donor wanted to remain anonymous BUT If chioma wanted go by that route all she would have done was, GIVE THEM HER OWN ACCT INFO AND LEAVE IT AT THAT INSTEAD OF ASKING YOU FOR YOURS COS YOU SURE DID HAVE THE RIGHT TO ASK HER WHAT SHE NEEDED YOUR ACCT INFOR FOR. The donors might not have even known that it was your acct details she was going to provide them with, all they did was ask for acct details, they might have had no idea chioma was going to ask you for yours.

This is just crazy mehnnnnn



@BB
Enough of name calling cos this una fight is not helping matters here   you both can continue una fight outside this thread or this forum, you also have to agree that ify had the right to ask those questions, and chioma really did not communicate well cos if she did, she would have told ify that the anonymous donors asked for her(chioma) acct info and not  ify's and like I said earlier, the donors might not have known it was ify's details she was going to provide them with.

You people need to let these go, yes I mean you and ifyalways

@chioma

I don't get you at all, I just don't. Just see the way you've messed things up. If you knew you were going to lie to ify why did you ask for acct details? What were you thinking chioma?

You also said you thought cc, kemi and ify were working together but you chose not to trust ify and only did when the other two who were "supposedly" working together told you to trust her. You chose to trust people You have not seen as opposed to someone you've seen?

Ify is a married woman with kids and I must commend her husband for even allowing her do these things with all the risks involved and believe me it is not funny when that persons good heart gets taken for a ride. At least you should have told her how kemI got your contact info and a little . . . . . "aunty ify, I would love to tell you more but aunty kemi would rather remain anonymous, if you don't mind". Then ify can decide on whether she really wants to give you her details or not, you owed her that much.


Now I really hope ify let's go of all of these and reports back here, for the sake of the child ify nwannem Biko, gba'hara, you are a mother yourself so I am sure you should still have some pity left for the child. Just help us get the child settled in biko

See how we Nigerians scatter ordinary volunteer charity with our misplaced egos and general lack of basic communication skills?! This is truly a shame, all around.

^Bros ayam Hispanic so I will blank d "we Nigerians" comment.

*she rushes over*

Can I have some fish and chips

My dear Chioma very nice explanations but so much does not add up or make sense

Chiomamb:

OMG!!! I am so sorry and i feel guilty for all the tantrums here and there.Honestly,i feel like i am the one who caused it.I have a lot to explain here but i can't tell it all and blow my own cover.I will start with how i got here and the reasons i am keeping this from my parents and how my school fee got involved.

It's exactly a week today and i named her Destiny(Thanks @Idowuogbo).No ceremony but i am just celebrating her and the love i have received from all the wonderful people here.I am really grateful.

So i was in the room in the Doctor's BQ feeling suicidal because i don't know what to do next and i was receiving calls from school that i am missing too much.The Doctor came in with his cousin to do his routine check and he saw me crying as usual.I told him i need to get back to school and nowhere to keep the baby.He said he can't help because he has no idea.His cousin brought his laptop and told me to Google "Giving up a Baby Adoption in Nigeria" i did and Nairaland was among the four first websites that came up.(Anyone can try this) I clicked on a topic and it took me to this section.I realized  one cannot post anonymously here so i had to register.That's how i got here

My Email was in my profile when i posted the very first time.Aunty Kemi was the very first person to contact me.She wanted to know everything about me and initially,i had trust issues but i just have to trust someone and she didn't let me down. @Chaircover was next because she dropped her Email and Aunty Ify right after.(I'm willing to give my password to someone appointed by everybody here to verify and confirm).I removed my Email address because i got the contacts i needed.I removed it after Aunty Ify gave me Rev Mrs George's number and Aunty Kemi advised me to.I modified most things because someone here advised me to, saying i appear "heartless".

I was reluctant to call Rev Mrs George because she follows protocol and it involves alerting my parents.I didn't want to contact Aunty Ify because of that but Chaircover and Aunty Kemi convinced me to and said i must trust her if i must get anywhere and she gave me her words that my parents won't know without my consent. Initially,i thought Aunty Kemi,Aunty Ify and Chaircover are people working together and aware of everything the other is doing.I was baffled when she was asking questions about her and i don't want to appear ungrateful,so i just said things i told her just to get back to Aunty kemi if she's ok with me revealing her identity because she wants to remain anonymous.(I hope Aunty Ify is clear with the account info i was asking about now).She was going to send me money and it is because i trust Aunty ify i asked for her help.My intention was good.(I'm sorry i caused all this and i apologize).

My Parents are very strict and it's not because i don't want them to know but i am going to get a whole lot of people into trouble.The Hostel Mistress,My roommates and some other people too.I am still not sure my Dad will keep numb even after i am out of school.They put their jobs and future on the line for me.Alerting anyone in my family is too risky.Some people will never forgive me if they get sacked or suspended in their final year.I'll let them know when the time is right and it is not for my selfish reasons that i am keeping this from them.My Dad might even go as far as taking it up with the school.

I am divulging now but i have to but not as much as everyone wants because someone can easily figure me out.My parents pay my school fee every semester and it is paid into my private account for me to now transfer to ETranzact(i can't say more). The 1st Doctor i went to charged me 40k but couldn't get the job done.I had to come to this one and he charged 65k.I took them all from my fees.I was making demands with hope of paying back as soon as possible.I am sorry if i was rude and unethical.


I want a temporary home for the baby and i'll pick her up when i am done with school in 6months.I plan to go see her every week and every other week during exams.

I don't want to appear ungrateful for all the help i have received so far and it is painful that i cut across as a scam.I am sorry for all the stress that i have caused and i hope i made things clear.

I am grateful for all your efforts and concern.I am highly indebted to Aunty Kemi,even if you're far away,Ur presence is felt everyday. Aunty Ify and Chaircover too for all your wahala and care on me.To everyone here too.I will forever remain grateful

.

The part marked blue is simply very odd. You are in final year university and 24, what does your father have to take up with the school and who is to loose their jobs. I m
sure more persons who have studied can throw light on this. In my time as a student at the university it would have been ridiculous for a father to have any issues with the school if his of age daughter got pregnant.

Secondly what could the first doctor that took 40T naira from you not do? You need to explain this to make this story authentic? I wonder what it was that a doctor could not do for a pregnant woman.

Finally I cannot imagine that you did not know of the communication issue between the kindhearted ladies that wanted to help you. Also if you talk to a doctor about adoption in a private clinic, he would probably call the welfare or police and not get you to surf in the internet thus abating a probable crime which could have great implications for him regarding the stories and issues with adoption today.
And still one more- since when do doctors attend to patients in the presence of an outsider?
You may need hepl but there is alot of jelly in your narrations.

r231:

she prefer to keep everything safe yet you keep talking about the Fadeyi orphanage as if there is 20 billion of them in Fadeyi just cus you want to abuse people.

the girl said its her mistake, explained everything and you still going on about it. what else do you want us do now

should i go and put ebo for orita first thing in the morning so that you can let this issue and whateva other issue go

LOL @ ebo for orita. At this stage, let each person do their Charity and Volunteer Work as they see fit. Let nobody ask for control of the process or demand explanations. You have your money and time- spend them as you see fit, shikena.

You have Red Cross, MSF, Global Food Aid, Unicef, USAID and others doing their thing separately. There are more than enough needy people in the world for us to help, so there is no need for us to start fighting over one case.

'Even a smile is charity', so do your thing and leave the rest!

Good points you raised up there mutter.

And I agree with Mac, it has gotten to the stage where individuals can help if he want to

mutter:

My dear Chioma very nice explanations but so much does not add up or make sense.

The part marked blue is simply very odd. You are in final year university and 24, what does your father have to take up with the school and who is to loose their jobs. I m
sure more persons who have studied can throw light on this. In my time as a student at the university it would have been ridiculous for a father to have any issues with the school if his of age daughter got pregnant.

Secondly what could the first doctor that took 40T naira from you not do? You need to explain this to make this story authentic? I wonder what it was that a doctor could not do for a pregnant woman.

Finally I cannot imagine that you did not know of the communication issue between the kindhearted ladies that wanted to help you. Also if you talk to a doctor about adoption in a private clinic, he would probably call the welfare or police and not get you to surf in the internet thus abating a probable crime which could have great implications for him regarding the stories and issues with adoption today.
And still one more- since when do doctors attend to patients in the presence of an outsider?
You may need hepl but there is alot of jelly in your narrations.

I strongly suspect (almost certain) that she attends Covenant University or one of those new universities associated with churches. If this is the case, then I can certainly understand how her parents can cause SERIOUS trouble if they find out and alert the school authorities. It is likely that her roommates and hostel mistress helped her cover-up the pregnancy; their complicity will NOT go unpunished. I can definitely understand why she would be absolutely terrified of her parents finding out: it would have grave consequences for people that helped her hide the pregnancy until 8mths.

Jenny, I can be anything but most definitely not silly. Chioma did not tell me those donors are"secret" or anything of that nature. Come on!if she did I would not have any problem with that, what is my concern?Chioma said verbatim "I did not know how Aunty kemi got my contact, I just woke up and saw her sms on my phone" tell me, what could be more ridiculous and confusing?I asked not once or twice and she kept repeating same thing.
That to me is deliberate act of deciet and confusion.''

...

Aunty mutter,like Moremi has already said,if she attends a uni like convenant,Caritas,madonna etc,then her dad can take up a case with the school cos immoral conducts are not tolerated in such places and the child's welfare is entirely entrusted to the school authorities(hence the huge amount paid) one doesn't leave the school premises without a signed exit note from the appropriate authorities,(expulsion awaits those that do if caught)if one leaves and doesn't come back at as when supposed,he\she attracts a penalty.


The part that is really confusing is the doc's aspect,this whole thing just keeps getting deeper.

Mama dee it don confuse me dieeee,I have read it again d tin only me see is "I named her Destiny @ idowuogbo thanks" oh boi u go fear name.My swagga is bedttttttt

Aunty CC

My akara procedure nau,mo fe je akara ooo

...

@ Jennykadry

I woke up this morning expecting everyone to be in a jolly mood. . .oh well. . .I have been very very very very mild and restrained here . . . Seen all the bile in the emails remember . . . But as long as she wants to keep bleating about her bank account, I have a right to reply "nor be her type by a million mile". I had already done my bit the first day I spoke to Chioma, it was BB20 and Agy's request about 3 days later that prompted me to tell her to contact them directly. . .


I am not holding anyone back from talking and venting a spleen. If someone has a problem keeping their egos in check, I am sorry I don't do "holding hands". I don't like pointless fights hence reason I ignore her most of the time she makes a barbed comment to me . . .hence reason I ignored her in the "let off steam thread". . .hence reason the only thing I have been saying to her here is "I am not a scammer". . .


Not to throw baby away with the bath water, there was no issue of trust here, all that was paramount on Chioma's mind was the public welfare office's strict protocol to inform her parents. . .and what I told her is still there in my first response to Tpia that for documentation purpose she would have to follow the correct proceedings and go to the recommended orphanage, so it wasn't like I was after some monopoly thing, AND THIS WAS THE ONLY REASON I EMAILED MUKINA TO FORWARD THIS INFO TO THE NL CHARITY.


Thank you very much Jennykadry. . .this is why I am always saying you have a good heart. . .but sincerely everything is cool between myself and R231. . .I have even been gven the honourary role of collecting the empty bottle and cans of members and donors alike at the end of every meeting. . .so you see I am even gonna get paid on the back of this once I take these cans to the recycling plant

And I agree with you ify most definitely do, even me sef go remove hand but then what about her little girl?

In my reply to her, I asked her why she didn't tell you the truth, there is nothing wrong with saying "ah aunty, the person wants to remain anonymous oooo but it's a nlder" finish, how difficult was that? ,if she wants to lie like this she should have used her own acct info instead of asking you for yours that way you wouldn't be caught in her web of lies. All she should have done was tell you that someone got hold of her info from her profile but the person will want to remain anonymous, lying about it and making it look like you and cc gave her details(because that was what it looked like, you thought it was only you and cc that had her details) to the person that contacted is very degrading

Biko nwannem Biko, I use God name to beg you, whatever you planned to do for her child pls go ahead and do it, but then again she has proved that she is not to be trusted so it's best if a family member is even informed before we move on, on away from all the drama and focus on the child and that's if we all wanno move on

The donors should not be blamed cos all they did was ask for an acct info, they really wanted to help

Maclatunji please explain how a room mate or friend will get into trouble for exposing the pregnancy.
okay question: she must have attended lecture and walked around the school remises and no one saw her?
If she is so scared now of being missed after a short absence, the conclusion is that she could not have hidden herself in her hostel room for so long.
If her father is so influential as she claims to make that kind of trouble someone would have brought it to the notice of her parents.

question: Do students not go home for holidays and do parents not visit their children? Does she not have siblings and cousins and no one noticed a 9 months pregnancy?

question: Why is it no problem for Chioma to let her parents know about the pregnancy in six months time? She might as well tell them now because this is her final year. A rational person would let them know about it and cool down till the six months when I finally come home.
What stops the father from making the trouble after she has finished school? What difference does it make if someone looses his job now or in six months time. Do you mean that the people that supposedly helped her did not know the implication. Is pregnancy or a baby something you take a risk to help someone hide. Do you believe someone will jeopardize her job because of a young girls mistake.

Even here in Europe there is a new trend of young nigerian girls  that are heavily regnant using their plight to claim funds from the government and organizations. Most of them claim they do not know the father of the child. some even go to another country when heavily pregnant as such receiving funds from two countries. i was just confronted with one of such cases last week. The one thing these girls have in common is that the present themselves very naive. They do not know the name surname of the father where he lives and even how old the pegnancy is etc.  

Okay,  am going to confirm from one of the reverends how these universities work.

chaircover:

Let me make something clear here; I don't have an issue with people helping/donating Chioma anonymously or contacting her directly and I think I explained why I said what I said about the NL charity several pages back. The way I look at it, the more people who can assist her the better and as they say two heads are better than one.

I am assuming that she still needs some kind of help. I dont have anything to offer, so if people can help her please do so.

I know, there is nothing wrong with anything you have said here although you were getting close with 'the pram' (LOL).

@All, We are humans and will have disagreements like this happen from time to time. The 2 factors that I think are important in resolving disagreements like this are:

1. Not holding grudges:
It is now obvious that we are only arguing here because Big Bumper and Ifyalways have this 'cold war' going on. Let me ask the both of you what it will take to stop the feud because it will still rear its head in the future if it is not addressed- NOW.

2. Simplify the issue:
Chioma has made mistakes with the way she handled communications and for we Nairalanders I think we should learn 'to ask rather than assume' on any issue that we find odd or do not understand.

Inspite of all that has happened, I am sure that there are people who want to help Chioma- No problem, it's your money and your time.

On the flip side, there are people who are not interested or are no longer interested- No problem you have an inalienable right to make that decision.

If we can agree on point 2 at least, why are we still arguing? It is because point 1 is dragging us into its vortex- so, let us solve that. Is there someone who will volunteer to mediate outside Nairaland between the 2 ladies?

Mutter, I am not the one that made the point O. I think that is Moremi2008. Let us not over-analyse this issue, let those who want to be involved be involved and those who don't want to to abstain.

Walai Madam mutter,if you were a detective I pity anyone you would be investigating.