A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. - Family (14) - Nairaland
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| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by moremi2008(m): 5:26pm On Jan 27, 2012 |
ronkebp: But we can't know Chioma's parents more than Chioma does and we can't assume that her parents will help the situation. They might even make it worse by disowning her and THEN making sure she doesn't graduate in a few months. I have seen parents do horrible things in the name of discipline. Let's not destroy Chioma life by making unfounded assumptions about her parents. |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by queensmith: 5:47pm On Jan 27, 2012 |
isale_gan- more to the reason why i dont believe the story. too much of it doesnt add up. @moremi I guess so, one will just have to be open minded to accept it. But what explains the fact the child has no daddy, chioma a soo called student of a private school not having any money to eat yet still having somewhere to stay and hide the baby for 2 weeks? |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by ronkebp(f): 6:00pm On Jan 27, 2012 |
moremi2008: M,oremi, in Nigeria, who would want to get pregnant out of wedlock and stroll into her fathers' living-room, and say, ''papa come and see ooo, i don born pickin'', i trust my dad, he will leave the house first, drink alot of gulder, then come back to face the issue, while mum would be eating me alive, and having my younger ones tend to the baby while she is pinching me and biting me at the same time, ( exageration ooo, so that Chioma does not fear too much))) I personally do not feel comfortable with us aiding and abbeting her ''keeping it from her parents thingy''. |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by coogar: 6:08pm On Jan 27, 2012 |
ronkebp: if she doesn't want her parents to know about it, her wish should be granted otherwise her purpose of coming here in the first place has been defeated. her parents must not know!!! |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by Nekai(f): 10:10pm On Jan 27, 2012 |
Wow! It's so nice to see everyone tripping over each other to help someone in need. It is truly heartwarming. Chiomab I hope everything turns out well. May God bless you and Baby Destiny. Your parents may be the best people to oversee the care of the baby while you are in school, but if you can find a caring and depandable temporary home for her it may be worth it to wait. (Don't completely rule out the idea of adoption. You may just be answer to some family's prayers. It doesn't make you any less of a person or a bad mother to contemplate giving your daughter a stable home) I'm glad you are no longer contemplating suicide over this situation and I hope you will not hesitate to reach out to nairalanders if you start feeling low again. We don't bite! (Most of us anyways)  If you need funds to support this child while you are in school I'm all in. |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by Ivynwa(f): 9:55am On Jan 28, 2012 |
isale_gan2: I was taken aback by the maturity of this poster and that made me delete any support I formerly had in aiding this poster with an orphanage or temporary home for her child (as she asked for) because this child is like any of us and deserve to be treated like the child it is without allowing the moral standard that has been fixed against a child like that that did not result from a marriage becloud her young life. It is still very very sweet and nice of some ladies to have run to her when she asked for help. [size=14pt]Let good morals be set and be imbibed yet let Nigeria have the tolerance to begin to loosen up on situations like this without treating such children like they are outcast or less human and also treating such mothers as if they are dirty rags. We the exposed and enlightened youths of Nigeria should begin that change and not continue to support this "dehumanisation" taking place. [/size]Being born out of wedlock does not make anybody less human than others or the creator will not have allowed such humans to be created. This girl has already had s*x and had a child so her parents should be helped to bear the news of the baby and bear with her too. It is a beautiful thing to help her financially by those who want to and it will be a more beautiful thing if she is assisted with mature adults that can help reconcile her with her parents. Her parents(even if they refuse to accept or face it, there's no way she can't find help from her extended family or friends) may be the best persons that can support her and help her nurse her baby while she takes the exam and that will give her peace of mind and have her more settled for her exam. To you Poster You are just beginning a journey that may be tough for you but never you allow anybody around you look down on your child or make you do that especially when your family/neighbours and friends get to hear the news. Develop a thick skin and protect her from bad talks and protect yourself from taunts too. Thank You. Hugs to you and your sweet Baby. |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by maclatunji: 11:36am On Jan 28, 2012 |
^Sweet! |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by Idowuogbo(f): 11:55am On Jan 28, 2012 |
maclatunji:Koledowo omo mami money talking bros how far na,I no see u for Perx thread again hope all is well? I dey wait for you dia ooo,dis wan u pack here dey talk sweet abeg come glucose d charity account 2 pls. Destiny wassup na Bado dey hail u o,I am coming to mould ur yansh it has to stand like high table.My own and ur own must match u hia,get ready Aunty Badosky is coming to construct Nikki minaj.  |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by mutter(f): 12:09pm On Jan 28, 2012 |
i am glad that some other posters here are being explicit about this. This is what I meant about help simply enabling a crime. The child is of utmost priority . Sure the parents are strict but when the issue is tabled before them properly they will endure it. One day with the sweet baby and their anger will reduce. This is not the first time. Single girls have been having babies even as far back as in your mothers time. That is the only help that makes sense in this case. |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by Ivynwa(f): 12:19pm On Jan 28, 2012 |
Idowuogbo: Badonwa na idi egwu-o-o(you dey too much), Badonwa na idi egwu-o-o-o Badonwa I love you pass sugarcane-o-o Badonwa na idi egwu-o-o-o Badonwa (Did you remember that Okocha song? Na the song I dey sing for you-u-u o. Wetin? Just how on earth did you come up with this hilarious post of yours?) Abeg make them hurry up give you the godmother-o-o, you have worked for it. Hugs to you. |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by maclatunji: 3:02pm On Jan 28, 2012 |
Idowuogbo: Funny as always, TeHN and Nairalanders are doing wonderful things for Perx. I don't have to be too present on that thread but will work on some things behind the scenes to help her. You are in fine form with helping Perx- your energy levels are something else. |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by blank(f): 5:29pm On Jan 28, 2012 |
Just a few days and this thread has turned into something else. Anywayz, the only way i am willing to help is if she is ready to go and tell her parents. I understand her reasoning 100% but it does not make it right. The fact that u did not go the abortion route is more than commendable. @Chiomab, pls, decide quickly what you want to do and do it now. I am worried that you may soon be pushed to the wall and decide to take negative drastic measures. |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by Chiomamb: 6:43pm On Jan 28, 2012 |
Please i still need a temporary home for her while i am away in school.I'll be through in six months. @ all in support of telling my parents.I already made it clear that it's not for my selfish reasons that i'm keeping her away from them.I'm putting someone's job on the line & my roommates future too.They will know when i'm out. |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by Chiomamb: 7:18pm On Jan 28, 2012 |
I need a temporary home for her urgently |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by Nobody: 10:19pm On Jan 28, 2012 |
Chiomamb: My dear,I am only going to say this once-The only home you need for this child is with your parents! All those advising you to hide this baby for one reason or the other are doing incurable damage to you and this child. Already you have put this baby through enough STRESS because of your selfish interest. If your story is actually true-I can not understand the difference between telling your parents now and telling them in six months. Even if your father is a gargoyle that you are scared of,your mother can not be the same,and there is no way the two of them are gonna disown you and your baby. I am warning you,there are lots of posters with ego problems in this section and they will keep on telling you to hide this baby from your parents for their selfish reasons! Once again common sense dictates that you pack your things and take this baby home to your parents,for once think of that poor child and not yourself! |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by Nobody: 10:28pm On Jan 28, 2012 |
I can not understand some people on this forum. Trying to help somebody give up a baby to a welfare home without the knowledge of her relations? Trying to help her hide the baby from her parents all because of their overbloated egos? These are highly illegal procedures. Where is the conscience? This OP could be any bodies sister,and if our sister had this kind of problem is this how we would advise her to go along hiding the baby from the parents like a yam tuber? This is a living soul we are talking about here. OP.once again stop this folly and take your baby home to your parents-if your story is true! |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by blank(f): 10:36pm On Jan 28, 2012 |
@Chiomamb, what you are asking for is a very risky thing. Consider this scenario, I agree to keep your baby for the 6 months and God forbid, something happens to her. How will u take it? Or somehow ur parents get 2 hear of it n bring police 2 my house. What legal stand will I have? The best bet is to summon courage n tell ur folks. Let them decide what to do. Forget about all those people u think u are protecting, do what is best 4 Destiny. Remember, abandoning a baby is a serious offence n u can do jail time if caught. |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by Nekai(f): 11:14pm On Jan 28, 2012 |
What exactly is the crime here? A grown woman makes the decision to keep her baby a secret from her parents? Guys do things like this and move on with their lives all the time. The poster actually wants to stay involved and look after the baby weekly. She isn't trying to hide the baby in some shoebox for goodness sakes. It's obvious that she wants to find a safe place which is why she is reaching out for help. A simple document signed by both parties would stipulate the terms. As an adult it isn't necessary to concern the parents. The immediate need is to find a safe place for the baby. I'm guessing that the poster is overwhelmed and anxious right now and she cannot see any other way out. When someone is in crisis they can't see the big picture. Personally I think when she finally talks to her parents it will not be as bad as she thinks, but trying to push the issue while she is in this state of mind will only make her more anxious and prone to making hasty and desperate moves. |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by Nekai(f): 11:15pm On Jan 28, 2012 |
What exactly is the crime here? A grown woman makes the decision to keep her baby a secret from her parents? Guys do things like this and move on with their lives all the time. The poster actually wants to stay involved and look after the baby weekly. She isn't trying to hide the baby in some shoebox for goodness sakes. It's obvious that she wants to find a safe place which is why she is reaching out for help. A simple document signed by both parties would stipulate the terms. As an adult it isn't necessary to concern the parents. The immediate need is to find a safe place for the baby. I'm guessing that the poster is overwhelmed and anxious right now and she cannot see any other way out. When someone is in crisis they can't see the big picture. Personally I think when she finally talks to her parents it will not be as bad as she thinks, but trying to push the issue while she is in this state of mind will only make her more anxious and prone to making hasty and desperate moves. |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by Chiomamb: 2:17am On Jan 29, 2012 |
@Nekai Check ur inbox.I have 2 be in school by 4pm today or i am going to be in serious trouble |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by Nekai(f): 2:34am On Jan 29, 2012 |
. |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by queensmith: 8:23am On Jan 29, 2012 |
new developments. . . . . . nekai u keep saying shes an adult, she is still in school no1, got herself into this predicament without thinking of how to handle the situation no2, and the baby is now 2 weeks old shes running around like a headless chicken. I'm sorry but she sounds very much like a child to me. I think an adult will have handled this sooooo differently, @those 'commending' her for not having an abortion. . . . .really now? . . . . really? Didnt realise it was an acheivement having a baby like this. Must have missed those classes. I cant not early this morning I cant. |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by Nekai(f): 9:33am On Jan 29, 2012 |
I was hoping that she could handle things on her own and not get her parents involved, however since the time frame here is measured in hours and not days or weeks, it seems impossible. A home picked in haste will not be very good for the baby at all. There simply isn't enough time to evaluate someone for this all important task. There are only a few options at this midnight hour, so to speak. Leave school to take care of the baby and finish at a later date, or tell her parents and they may just let her finish out the six months while they care for the baby, or give the baby up for adoption through a proper agency (of course this option doesn't make much sense if many people at school know about the pregnancy because it may get back to your parents eventually). Hindsight is 20/20, but if the poster had informed her folks before the birth they could have arranged things for her so that she wouldn't miss much school. I hope you are listening to reason here, chiomab. If you know you cannot handle the pressures and the stigma of being a single parent at this time, adoption may be your best bet. it is a much more noble act than having an abortion or putting the baby in harms way. If you want to keep your baby then it looks like the only viable option is to march straight to your parents house, baby in hand, and face the music. Looking Destiny in the eye may soften their hearts. |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by Nobody: 10:45am On Jan 29, 2012 |
... |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by Idowuogbo(f): 10:58am On Jan 29, 2012 |
^Ee jere awon omo yin oo,ko ju be lo SEFINI!!! Anyways my akara recipe nko and pls chioma never consider me as godmother o,can u pls talk to her on my bewhole.  |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by sweetcocoa(f): 11:26am On Jan 29, 2012 |
Seriously with the turn things have taken the best thing to do is take the baby to your parents like aunty CC and others have said,even if your father doesn't accept the little one,your mother would,like the case of my sister's friend I cited somewhere on this thread,though her dad hasn't come around to forgiving her,her mother visits her with lots of gifts and love at the slightest chance she gets,when she's not able to due to threats from her hubby,she sends my sister. All I'm trying to say is your mum wouldn't abandon you if your father does,even if she does,will she kick dessy baby out as well?I strongly doubt that,so just brace yourself up and take the bold step for dessy's sake . |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by bigbumper(f): 11:57am On Jan 29, 2012 |
moremi2008: coogar: Thank you guys for the insight. I too was screaming at the top of my lungs for us all to brainstorm how to bring her parent in the loop because this was not a spare chewing gum being put up. . . but judging from "those bilious emails" doing the rounds. . .i was able to glean that Baby Destiny is a beautiful by-product of the backward Nigerian culture that dictates that only our parents has the right to choose our future partner. . . in a nutshell Destiny is Chioma's bethrothed's baby. . . Sincerely, how many people can go against their parents wishes if they refuse them to marry someone of their choice. . . i have seen around 3 polls in this section and in each, 95% of respondents said they would not marry against their parents wishes citing ridiculously absurd reasons as "we need our parents' blessings/parents knows best/what the adult sees sitting the adult cannot see standing/etc". . .SMH at Nigeria, the giant of the jungle. |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by Nobody: 12:48pm On Jan 29, 2012 |
BB, so the bethrothed(parents choice) is the father of the baby? If so, the parents shouldn't have probs with her or the child |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by maclatunji: 2:18pm On Jan 29, 2012 |
This story is more complex than any Soap Opera I will ever watch. Big Bumper are you saying the baby is a product of Chioma's liason with a man her parents forbade her to see? |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by Nobody: 2:25pm On Jan 29, 2012 |
Even Paloma, or passions or the Gardner's daughter, are not as complex as this |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by maclatunji: 2:36pm On Jan 29, 2012 |
^They don't even come close. She can as well go and drop the baby with the father's people. |
| Re: A Baby Girl,she Is Just A Week Old. by Nobody: 2:54pm On Jan 29, 2012 |
Nekai: I'm sorry, I disagree. A grown woman wouldn't be frightened of her parents. As long as she's dependent upon her parents, she's their responsibility. Nekai: Yes, they do. Except Chiomab is not moving on with her life. There's a baby involved here, as well as a myriad of other non-related persons. Nekai: Stay involved and look after the baby weekly? Is that an ideal arrangement, is it fair on the baby when she has grandparents and other relatives? Nekai: But she's trying to hide the baby regardless. I can't see the reaction of her parents being any different if they're told in six months, than if they're told now. If she's more concerned about her education, then that makes Chiomab an extremely selfish mother. Her baby should be priority number one, at ALL times! Nekai: The safest place for Baby Destiny is with her grandparents. Unless you're telling me strangers are safer than her blood relatives. Who's interests are you protecting here - Chiomab's or Baby Destiny's? Nekai: Now you're being really naive here. A document signed by whom? Without an attorney involved, such a document is as worthless as toilet paper that's been used in wiping your a[i]r[/i]se. And getting an attorney involved is deep - what attorney worth his wig would draw up such a document, without the father of the baby, or Chiomab's parents involved? Unless you could prove Chiomab's parents were dead, and the baby's father had vanished off the face of the earth? Get real! Nekai: As she's under her parent's care, and they're paying for her upkeep and tuition fees, it's very much her parent's concern, even if she were 40. Nekai: A safe place for the baby already exists. You keep harping on about a "safe place". Are chiomab's parents dangerous? Nekai: Nah, she's not overwhelmed. She protecting her own selfish interests. The fact remains she got pregnant, a baby is involved, and isn't going to disappear. The best way out is to let her parents know, sure they won't be over the moon, but they're not ogres. I would imagine they'd be angrier if six months down the line (probably more) a granddaughter suddenly emerged, and they discovered she'd been looked after all that time by strangers. Nekai: I think it would be worse if she tells her parents they've got a granddaughter six or more months later. I honestly can't see their reactions being any different than if they were informed NOW. Procrastinating doesn't make such an issue go away, it just gets bigger, and more difficult to face. As per Chiomab's state of mind, I think it's crystal clear what she intends to do. How many Nigerian grandparents would see their grand child put in care when they still have breath left in their lungs? I'm all for rendering help, no question about that. But placing a child in care, without the knowledge of Chiomab's parents is crazy, bordering on downright risky. Suppose something happened to Baby Destiny whilst she was in care, what happens then? Will the police be brought in to arrest the carer? What would Chiomab's parents do if they found out? How would the carer be protected? Clearly, this hasn't been thought through. There's the added complication of the short time frame in which to place the wheels in motion, and find a suitable carer. |
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