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Trapped In A Marriage - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Trapped In A Marriage by ifyalways(f): 10:04pm On Jan 25, 2012
OP,suck it up please.Were u a virgin prior marriage or you think you are better cos she does not know how bad you've been?
On the bright side,you must be having the best of BJ's as your wife is an expert for that side. . .that's something.
Re: Trapped In A Marriage by ADEBYTE: 10:09pm On Jan 25, 2012
@poster.Most of us on this section are mature and with all sincerity only few of us met our wives or girl friends virgin so whatever their love lives are before meeting them
Or marrying them is old and past. Behold all old are past. Do u pester her to confess what she is done after ur marriage because I don't think that she would just come to you and start confessing.
Well if she still engage in any extra marital affair after the marriage just as u had said,I would sit her dowm and ask her why she is doing so. Who know maybe there is something about u that is
Forcing her into it.
Pls try and get to the root of the cause and if her motives are not geniune,then u have basis for divorce
Re: Trapped In A Marriage by Mayflowa(m): 10:44pm On Jan 25, 2012
MRbrownJAY:

@RonkeBP
thats too easy, some men would marry a she-goat, if it gets pregnant for him (we all know that) and therefore, telling him about her whoring past (now that she was pregnant) was a "cheap below the belt" shot, because he would have married the "mother of his kid" regardless.

the marriage was performed UNDER DURESS, and therefore should NOT be valid, (lol) or shouldnt mean shiit to this man , apart from the well being of his kid.this trick was fukcing just about anyone who wanted a piece of her. give her a lift and she is all yours. it surely shows the depth of her whoring abilities!!!!

the important question IS: would OP had married this animal if she wasnt pregnant?

btw: am i the only one who read the part where OP wrote that she cheated AFTER MARRIAGE too?! (or was it confession of OTHER affairs that she had BEFORE marriage?

OP
pls confirm if these affairs that she confessed to (after marriage) happened BEFORE or AFTER marriage.



MBJ, the OP actually meant the wife confessed more to what she confessed before the marriage. All the sex thing took place before her marriage. That said. How many women truely confessed whoever slept with them! The woman is just pure dumb! Do anyone knows for certain how many men our wives slept with and the circumstances.
Most outgoing women would have slept with over 20 men! How many women have you slept with MBJ? I have slept with over 70 women myself. They just happen.But I dare not tell my wife as she would never trust me around women again even her friends!
Re: Trapped In A Marriage by zayhal(f): 11:02pm On Jan 25, 2012
^^ 70 women! You must be kidding.
Re: Trapped In A Marriage by Nobody: 11:19pm On Jan 25, 2012
agiboma:

@ op you knew you weren't marrying a virgin to begin with so i cant understand why you feel cheated. Have you also thought their may possibly be many more men your not aware of,what will you do then? You need to grow up and stop asking your wife to grocery list all the men she slept with.

Uhm, I think you'll find the wife confessed her indiscretions to hubby, before AND after they said "I do", without any prompting from her husband. Read the opening post once more.
Re: Trapped In A Marriage by Ivynwa(f): 3:26am On Jan 26, 2012
Geez:

I got married over 5years ago and 3 kids down the line I still don’t love my wife. [size=14pt]80% of me wanted a fling when it all started [/size] and 100% of my friends were too sure I couldn’t marry her but my mother liked her and she pulled those ‘wife material girl’ stunts which endeared some of my family members to her. Like in most Pentecostal Xtain homes, [size=14pt]she took me to a ‘prophet’ before we got married and the man of God said he saw trouble which we could overcome through prayers[/size]. A few months later she got pregnant and before we knew it, we were married. Before we got married she confessed to having the following intimate relationships:

1.Some guy in a school in Kwara State when she was 21
2.Some guy in a SW polytechnic  she dated for 4years (This guy was razz and rough)
3.Some albino in the same polytechnic who also was her neighbor back in Lagos
4.Some married guy who was a drug dealer that helped her when she went for her WAEC certificate
5.A married man she claimed helped her financially in Jos and she was in hotels with him on several of his biz trips but she claimed she only had MouthAction all of the time
6.Some guy she met through her friends. She claimed they hung out at a bar and next thing all the girls went into separate rooms with the guys. She said she was bleeding at that time and only had MouthAction. Hmmm
That was all the affairs she said she had. However after the marriage, she confessed to some more affairs:

1.Some guy that gave her a ride from her big sis’s house on the island
2.The MD of her company (where she still works). This man is well known to her big sis who got her the job in the first place
3.Some much older guy who is a friend of her much older elder brother

[size=14pt]Ever since I’ve felt cheated and she just pisses her off each time I see her.[/size] To make matters worse, her diction and spoken English was kinda horrible before we got married and she promised to do everything to change. Till date, nothing has changed and she apparently makes no effort to improve on it.

[size=16pt]I’m tired and frustrated.[/size]

Quit being self righteous dearie even you yourself confessed to wanting a piece of her like other men after which you intended to jump over her. You made it sound like she forced you into a certain box, trapped you in and locked it up. You wanted to play games and got played because she was smarter and played her cards to put a ring on it. She outsmarted you in a game you started yet you still consider her dumb because she can't speak the language of some other foreign country. Why don't you teach her English, if you don't like that she can't speak fluently instead of being ashamed of her?
I haven't seen any Igbo man that detests his wife because he wants her to be able to speak Hausa very well and she cannot?  Okay I understand that you want her to be able to represent good-----start teaching her.
Stop feeling disgusted by her please if you have succeeded in adding her to your own list of flings and marrying another, your own list will have lengthened up if you too begin to name drop lovers for your wife.
Why will she go listing her past lovers to you like that??

The cause of your frustration in summary is her long list and her inability to speak fluently. The latter can be remedied, the former I decided to leave to you to sort out for yourself because something you said about one of the persons in the list is making me want to say something I decided not to point out to you as I don't want to worsen your disgust dearie.
Let's face the truth, you both played some games here so don't feel conned because if you have succeeded in outsmarting her----it is the same thing you are accusing her of that you would have been guilty of. You have been lovey doveying with this woman for 5 years and now that you learnt how many men she has slept with disgust sets in.

If she is cool headed now you shouldn't hold these to her because you have been with one lover or the other in the past too, be mature about it. You should be more concerned with ensuring that she is not still sleeping with men while married to you instead of crying over spilt milk getting disgusted at her past lovelife. I hope you understand me.
Hey! that part about visiting prophet and prophetess, how do you allow your fellow human being to see into your future for you? I am sure they took money from you guys after browsing into your future. Better run away from such people abeg.
Re: Trapped In A Marriage by OAM4J: 3:49am On Jan 26, 2012
ifyalways:

OP,suck it up please.Were u a virgin prior marriage or you think you are better cos she does not know how bad you've been?
On the bright side,you must be having the best of BJ's as your wife is an expert for that side. . .that's something.

hahahahaha grin grin grin Abi o, not many women are experienced in that area. grin


Na wa o! Thank God am a virgin, I have a 'Virginity Certificate' from my female doctor to prove it. There is nothing to confess before or after marriage cool cheesy
Re: Trapped In A Marriage by Nobody: 3:53am On Jan 26, 2012
^^^ abeg sharapppp virgin ko
Re: Trapped In A Marriage by OAM4J: 4:18am On Jan 26, 2012
^^I know you raped me few times, but my doctor said I didn't lose my virginity in the process grin
Re: Trapped In A Marriage by HISchild: 8:28am On Jan 26, 2012
@op, brother, you must absolutely continue to read the living, holy word of GOD and remain in prayer for GOD's intervention, in considering that there is to be no divorce for any reason. "Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife." - 1 Cor 7:27. It is "for better or for worse" until death do you both part.

We husbands are commanded to love our wives unconditionally (and vice versa). "Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them." - Col_3:19 (Also Ephesians 5:25-33).

May i suggest that you try, by the grace of The Lord JESUS CHRIST, to show her unconditional love, forgiving and forgetting her past sins, "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." - Eph_4:32. “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of GOD;” - Rom 3:23

The unconditional love you give, which includes teaching her all you can, including teaching her proper diction, can positively influence her. May GOD bless, guide you and heal your marriage and all.
Re: Trapped In A Marriage by Nobody: 11:55am On Jan 26, 2012
^^^ I disagree with most you posted above.

No sane human will remain with a wife or husband at all costs, if the other is a serial cheat or a LovePeddler. And if they did decide to remain together, they would definitely seek pleasure outside the marital home.

I still insist Nigerians are selective when it comes to Religion - stay with a philandering partner, because divorce is a sin. LMAO. The same people that quote scripture and verse will think nothing about stabbing a pal in the back, telling porkies, having s[i]e[/i]x before marriage, fraud etc. It's worth noting even armed robbers go to church on Sundays to pray!

My point is, not everything in the bible is taken literally.

Back to the topic in question. No way would I remain with a wife who was a serial cheat, who dropped her pants for any guy who gave her the time of day. And in the OP's case, whilst no one's saying all women didn't have a past before they got married, such graphic description as was given by the OP's wife is absolutely revolting. How many guys wouldn't feel disgusted by her description of her s[i]e[/i]xual escapades? I can confidently say, no guy would like to hear chapter and verse of his wife's s[i]e[/i]xual romps with other guys. Worse, he didn't prompt her, she gave chapter and verse of her own volition.

The OP is simply stating how he feels, he's only human, so who can blame him?
Re: Trapped In A Marriage by maclatunji: 12:54pm On Jan 26, 2012
zayhal:

^^ 70 women! You must be kidding.

I am sure he is not kidding, just pretend you did not read that. My sister, if you know the things people do ehn- you will praise God for his patience!
Re: Trapped In A Marriage by Nobody: 4:57pm On Jan 26, 2012
ronkebp:

I am just seeing the ''after marraige part'' ( I am thinking dhe had those affairs before their marraige, and confessed some before and the rest after).

MBJ, the poster is not a baby, like someone asked if he was held at gun point during the marraige ceremony?, and he did not have to wait till after having 3 children before deciding he is no longer inlove with her. The wife slept with every and anything, and she told him, why didn't he run then? why now?

the OP never loved this lady, he just thought that love will naturally blossom after marriage (since he HAD to marry her now that she was pregnant). thats why he wrote:"I got married over 5years ago and 3 kids down the line I still don’t love my wife". sadly, the whoring confession itself should have been the hint for this guy to cancel this phoney marriage (and run) but he was already under the spell of marital bliss. yes you are right, he shouldnt have fathered 3 kids by this jezebel with very little virtue but, i guess, he really believed that he could change the spots on this leopard AND the pressure from family must have been too strong.

on the other hand, its quite clear that the OP is trying to cook up BS excuses to feel better about wanting to leave her. . . . . . .talking about her poor language skills etc

Mayflowa:

MBJ, the OP actually meant the wife confessed more to what she confessed before the marriage. All the sex thing took place before her marriage. That said. How many women truely confessed whoever slept with them! The woman is just pure dumb! Do anyone knows for certain how many men our wives slept with and the circumstances.
Most outgoing women would have slept with over 20 men! How many women have you slept with MBJ? I have slept with over 70 women myself. They just happen.But I dare not tell my wife as she would never trust me around women again even her friends!

i have to disagree with the above in bold. to me, if you want to have a clear understanding of WHO your partner is (and what she is capable of) and possibly have a chance for a loving future, you NEED to be fully honest about your past and all its skeletons. this is who you are, this is what made you the "great" person you are today. if your partner asks you about such issue then you need to be fully honest (to the best of your abilities) and let YOUR PARTNER decide if she wants to be with someone like you or not.

i sure would be truly pissed if a gal told me she had only few guys in her life but turns out she was the neighborhood sl[b]u[/b]t. its called DECEIT: to pretend to be someone you are not!
would you REALLY lie to your wife about it if she'd ask? forget what you heard, no lie is a GOOD lie in a r/ship.
Re: Trapped In A Marriage by Nobody: 12:24am On Jan 28, 2012
The average Nigerian man will refuse to continue dating you if you don't give him intimacy during the course of the relationship and then tomorrow, they turn around and expect women to be virgin wives and when that does not happen, they open silly threads such as this whinning like a lil beoutch. How hypocritical.

Aa da fun e!!

Tell it!!!

I hope the poster calling her an animal and a LovePeddler is/was a virgin till marriage.

If all the affairs were before marriage, she made very poor choices of which you knew the majority before marriage. So what now? If she is not cheating in marriage, abeg forget this matter. Unless you have another agenda for why you want to leave her that you’re not telling us.

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