Baba_Eleko:

I been hearing a lot about armed robbers in my area. With my connections with guys in was in "the frat" with back then in skool I was able to acquire this "Desert Eagle". You know that sick gun that'll chase any niqqa down the entire block? Ok. I visited naija after a few years abroad, on my 2nd day at my parents house at around 3:40am while everyone was sleeping, I was sleepless as a result of the new climate and time change when I heard this 2 mumbling voice coming from the balcony outside my window. I quickly and slowly got up from bed, grabbed my precious newly found "love" and dodge behind my door and said my last prayer and prepared my mind for the worst, the moment i saw one of the thieves touched my window to slide it open. . . . . . I cocked my desert eagle, gave it a firm good grip, made a perfect target to his brain and screamed "You fuuckkd with the wrong niqqa!!" and then . . . . . .BoooOOOOMMM!!!!! BoooOOOOMMM!!!!! I "double tapped" his brain on the balcony while the other sucker jumped down the balcony and escaped. The following morning I called one of my cop friend on the island who hooked me up with his dpo, i explained everything and with 200k it was buried, Naija police style. The following week after I had left naija, my sister told me it was reported in the media that the armed robber was killed in a shoot out with the police. Lol

what a story!

@topic- insulted a pastor,

My worst crime was wasting my time by opening this thread

Can't remember

dee007:

bleeped my ex gf's sis !! (worse sex crime)

1luvkipsus:

I was in church in 2003 and God specifically told me through the Preacher that I should not go for the date fixed for that day after the service.The girl herself was in church but alas,immediately after the service,we went to our rendezvous.I won't forget that incidence in a hurry.I blatantly disobeyed God that day.I have since begged for forgiveness anyway,

DAY11.:


I nyansh my landlady in my landlord kitchen!

Do you guys even know what a crime is?

Doing all of the above is not crime, but a deviant act. Even a soldier killing people in war would not be termed as a crime, but a deviance.

A crime is what the state defined and deemed it to be. Banging one's neighbour, cousin, pastors wife, dog and so on is not a crime, but a deviation from social norms.

paris10:


Do you guys even know what a crime is?

Doing all of the above is not crime, but a deviant act. Even a soldier killing people in war would not be termed as a crime, but a deviance.

A crime is what the state defined and deemed it to be. Banging one's neighbour, cousin, pastors wife, dog and so on is not a crime, but a deviation from social norms.

crime jor

Does downloading free music on the internet count??

Shittin in sumbodi's farm,

I have quite a series that I dont know where to start;

1. Age 15, accompanied a friend to his fathers house to steal over 70'k Naira.

2. At the age of 16, I accompanied my friends to go kidnap a boy who had stolen our Super Nintendo video game from his house. We succeeded in luring him into the car, drove him away from his neighbourhood, put him in the trunk drove him to a secluded shell location and threatened to throw him in. Somehow managed to get our video game back.

3. Same 16, accompanied a friend home from school to steal his dads car. Took it for a joyride and returned it unscratched.

4. At the age of 19, I ambushed & stabbed a guy twice in the leg. The dude was a douche and deserved it.

5. . . . . . To be continued.


_{Got to run, the Cops are knocking.}

^
when will you continue your crime story,

wen the Police losses my trail

Johnpaul2k2:


crime jor

Trying to teach your ignorant a.s.s criminology but you still refused. Crime is a political definition of a psychological and emotional imbalance in the society. Murder, fraud (economical crime), Mugging (street crime), Paedophile/violation (sex crime) are all crimes defined by the state.

Being Intimate with your cousin, Pastor's wife, and your neighbours daughter are all deviance. They are all social norms which are optional depending on where you live. What is crime or deviant in UK might not be the same in Nigeria e.g marrying four wives. 

Prostitutions, dressing in such a manner that would reveal too much flesh, downloading free from the internet, stealing from your mum or marrying someone who's not from your own state or country is a deviant act and not criminal. All these things are traditional, religious and community detestable behaviours which when raised and echoed by the society are then incorporated as crime by the state/govt.

My worst crime?
Let me think.
Yes! subconsciously in my deepest dream, thinking that I was a Nigerian and holding that green passport.
It won't happen again, for sure.

@paris10- deviant act? probably not in nigeria, I believe nigerians will deem these to be normal, possibly even socially gratifying.

I set an Electrical trap for my younger brother. Thank God he didnt die!

My worst crime wud be stealing cooked beans from my secondary school kitchen wen i waz soo damn hungry!

Anoda crime waz running away from an okada man widout paying the fare, lol

Okija_juju:

I have quite a series that I dont know where to start;

1. Age 15, accompanied a friend to his fathers house to steal over 70'k Naira.

2. At the age of 16, I accompanied my friends to go kidnap a boy who had stolen our Super Nintendo video game from his house. We succeeded in luring him into the car, drove him away from his neighbourhood, put him in the trunk drove him to a secluded shell location and threatened to throw him in. Somehow managed to get our video game back.

3. Same 16, accompanied a friend home from school to steal his dads car. Took it for a joyride and returned it unscratched.

4. At the age of 19, I ambushed & stabbed a guy twice in the leg. The dude was a douche and deserved it.

5. . . . . . To be continued.


_{Got to run, the Cops are knocking.}

Ok, let's see now.  Tallying up your rap sheet as disclosed so far, we got Breaking and Entering, False Imprisonment, Grand Theft Auto and Attempted Murder, which makes you just another a Regular Joe in my book, Okija.

Anyways, your promise of more shocking revelations to come keeps me optimistic that the real meat and potatoes is yet to be served up, in which case I will withhold my judgement for now, and give you the benefit of the doubt.

This one time I stole food from school, the I was kicked out of school for the rest of the day, ever since then, I have been a good person.




Make Beats

All of you are still babies when it comes to crime cos I'm yet to see real crimes in here such as serial killing, bombing, armed robbery, etc

My biggest crime?

I have slaughtered thousands of people who deserved to die. I pumped them full of lead, slashed some with knives and finished off the rest with fragmentation grenades.



Oh, wait. That was Call of Duty. Sorry

stealing cereals from school farm.

strafing a lady in a night bus while a pastor was praying, God have mercy

party,

I been hearing a lot about armed robbers in my area. With my connections with guys in was in "the frat" with back then in skool I was able to acquire this "Desert Eagle". You know that sick gun that'll chase any niqqa down the entire block? Ok. I visited naija after a few years abroad, on my 2nd day at my parents house at around 3:40am while everyone was sleeping, I was sleepless as a result of the new climate and time change when I heard this 2 mumbling voice coming from the balcony outside my window. I quickly and slowly got up from bed, grabbed my precious newly found "love" and dodge behind my door and said my last prayer and prepared my mind for the worst, the moment i saw one of the thieves touched my window to slide it open. . . . . . I cocked my desert eagle, gave it a firm good grip, made a perfect target to his brain and screamed "You fuuckkd with the wrong niqqa!!" and then . . . . . .BoooOOOOMMM!!!!! BoooOOOOMMM!!!!! I "double tapped" his brain on the balcony while the other sucker jumped down the balcony and escaped. The following morning I called one of my cop friend on the island who hooked me up with his dpo, i explained everything and with 200k it was buried, Naija police style. The following week after I had left naija, my sister told me it was reported in the media that the armed robber was killed in a shoot out with the police. Lol

at poster why diod u shoot his head? why did un not shoot his hand or something else?

That is a nicely written tall tale, loosely based in a some B-movie, no doubt, and the purported screaming to warn the intruder to duck before the shot was a nice touch as well. I'd give the writer a border-line pass in this particular creative writing effort.

Jakumo:

Ok, let's see now.  Tallying up your rap sheet as disclosed so far, we got Breaking and Entering, False Imprisonment, Grand Theft Auto and Attempted Murder, which makes you just another a Regular Joe in my book, Okija.

Anyways, your promise of more shocking revelations to come keeps me optimistic that the real meat and potatoes is yet to be served up, in which case I will withhold my judgement for now, and give you the benefit of the doubt.

LMAOOOO

el-patch:

stealing cereals from school farm.

strafing a lady in a night bus while a pastor was praying, God have mercy

triple sin,

Which is the third sin?

We haven't heard of frat guys involved in various hits back in University.

Having an unprotected sex with a menstruating girl[b][/b]

My worst crime was knowing and trading FOREX.  Its a very huge mistake , and it has really affected me and every single Forex trader i have ever knew in the past. So I advice everyone(especially my fellow Nigerians) to flea from it today, no matter how deep u have gone into it. Earlier the better o, a word is enough for the wise

babz_ynk@yahoo.com:

Having an unprotected sex with a menstruating girl.

You obviously missed out on a golden opportunity to earn your "Red Wings", which would have been bestowed on you by the president of the nearest active Hell's Angel's biker-gang chapter, if only you had eaten and slurped the red meat as well on that fateful day.

Shame on you for that omission.   Please now tender your public apology, if there is to be any talk of future forgiveness or amnesty.

Ermmmm, I inpersonated sme1