If i wanted to become the president of Nigeria, what would I have to do? Where do I sign-up? Who do I pay off? How do I even campaign? Does anyone know?

Segun06, it would help if you were a former Nigerian army general who at some point in the past had access to the national treasury such that you would today be a dollar billionaire.  If you have no such background, I will, for a very competitive and reasonable fee, create a fictitious military background for you, replete with breathless accounts of your numerous victories in the field of battle during an unspecified war of liberation.  At no additional cost I will also supply you with a highly decorated  military uniform that you can wear to pose for publicity photographs that will be posted on walls around the nation during your campaign.

In preparation for your upcoming presidential role, you will also need to modify your manner of speech so as to include such key words and phrases as "modalities", "transparency", "sanitization", "grass roots", "mobilization fee" , "accountability" and "disgruntled elements".   When these preliminaries are sorted out and your check for my professional guidance has cleared in my Cayman Islands bank account, the campaign train will roll out of the station on the patriotic mission of securing your guaranteed ascension to the exalted post of absolute dictator over the entire population of both humans and livestock in your village.

Very funny. But seriously does anyone know how i can become the president of Nigeria?

By agreeing to OBJs babacratic 3rd term ambitions and waiting for him to relinquish that position in 2011. Something like total loyalty to baba's cause.

segun , u have to wait till u are atleast 50 or so!!! then start by paying the yoruba tribal leaders, give them cars and winter jackets tel them its from america meeen

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