the 'modern day' woman has practically deleted the word submission from her dictionary. as some of them here are already insinuating - the word itself sounds nauseating. they know too much. infact, they know more than the man does. they quote equality rights and fundamental rights. over sabi!

mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!!!!!!!

Submission wont be an issue when the couple have a good and enviable relationship. The guy will love and respect the wife while the wife wont have an option than to submit to him. Submission DOES NOT mean the lady is clueless, they both have ideas but when they fail to agree, the guy MUST be the man of the house. Remember that the guy has always put his family's interest ahead of any other interest and of course he loves his wife n respects her, so he will always take d best decision. However, d husband isnt God, so even when the decision backfires, the lady isnt expected to say"shey i told u", they both learn from the mistake and move on - the relationship they enjoy is still perfectly intact.

Pls note - A lady that doesnt know the meaning of submission shd not go near marriage or we see the most common types of marriages around us - uncooperative tenants.

It simple means to obey! As a woman you sold your life to a man the moment you say "Yes I do". That is why you change your surname after marriage. The whole duty of a man to his wife is to love her. The love of a man to his wife can be equal to the love of God to man. When a man is trying to do the wrong thing, God corrects the man somehow but man may not like it but it does not mean that God hate that man, the same is equal to a man and his wife. It take only true love for a husband to stop his wife when is going the way way when she completely feels she knows better than the man.

@dasparrow, thanks for the whole truth. God bless you abundantly.

It simple means to obey! As a woman you sold your life to a man the moment you say "Yes I do". That is why you change your surname after marriage. The whole duty of a man to his wife is to love her. The love of a man to his wife can be equal to the love of God to man. When a man is trying to do the wrong thing, God corrects the man somehow but man may not like it but it does not mean that God hate that man, the same is equal to a man and his wife. It take only true love for a husband to stop his wife when is going the way way when she completely feels she knows better than the man.

Whenever this topic comes up, you can always trust sistahs to give you a thousand new definitions of the word "submission". Soon, 9ja women will be totally liberated and everyone can do wateva dey like; the family structure will be completely destroyed and life in 9ja will be just like it is in UK where everyone basically eats, drinks, smokes and shags anyone dey like - no rings or strings attached. I hope my 9ja sistahs will be happy when we get there, but i seriously doubt it.

That's quite rich- given nigeria has one of the highest deadly std rates in africa; possibly the world. You need to rethink your position on the moral highground, Nigerians are in no position to take it, ever!

queensmith:

That's quite rich- given nigeria has one of the highest deadly std rates in africa; possibly the world. You need to rethink your position on the moral highground, Nigerians are in no position to take it, ever!

lol i agree

And where did those stats come from? i wonder,

when you are in the middle of a hot BIS chat and he says "Submit It" and you gently submit it

That is wr lies d problem of western education. To say d real fact but people wil never agree, women are not expected to do anything except d one d husband allowed or ordered, not for any other sake but for blessing. Some sisters say dey dont want to hear d word submissive which can be traced to d Holy Book, so dey wil not near d blessing d yestermother possess talkless of gaining eternity.
Any muslim wife shd know dt her hereafter is within her husband, if she fails to be submissive dn she ruins all her good deed.

I agree submission will not even come into existence without unconditional love. Just as Christ Loved the church.
But Lets remember that love itself includes correcting wrongs. Unconditional love is not bearing ALL excesses of a woman.

In some advanced cultures, the woman is regarded as a sister, mother even to her husband. Tell me which one of you will see your sister going the path of Perdition and not attempt to rescue or deliver where possible.

The key is correcting with love where a wrong is done. Christ was vociferous in highlighting the shame in the Pharisees, he was enraged that His Father's house was turned into a market place but like he said, all of heaven will rejoice at the rebirth of a sinner.

So unconditional Love is not tolerating or bearing ALL the excesses of a woman, its knowing and chosen the right mechanisms to teach, correct and at same time listening twice as much as you talk or pass across information her.

laidol:

Submission wont be an issue when the couple have a good and enviable relationship. The guy will love and respect the wife while the wife wont have an option than to submit to him. Submission DOES NOT mean the lady is clueless, they both have ideas but when they fail to agree, the guy MUST be the man of the house. Remember that the guy has always put his family's interest ahead of any other interest and of course he loves his wife n respects her, so he will always take d best decision. However, d husband isnt God, so even when the decision backfires, the lady isnt expected to say"shey i told u", they both learn from the mistake and move on - the relationship they enjoy is still perfectly intact.

Pls note - A lady that doesnt know the meaning of submission shd not go near marriage or we see the most common types of marriages around us - uncooperative tenants.

Will you marry me? I promise to treat you like i treat my heart.

To the girls who say nigeria has the highest rate of std's please post your source. Its quite clear you girls lack true african up bringing and i wont be surprised if you experience more than 5 divorce in your life time due to non submission. I rather die with std and have responsible children devoid of divorce than have irresponsible children and live till 100.

Sumit simple

laidol:

Submission wont be an issue when the couple have a good and enviable relationship. The guy will love and respect the wife while the wife wont have an option than to submit to him. Submission DOES NOT mean the lady is clueless, they both have ideas but when they fail to agree, the guy MUST be the man of the house. Remember that the guy has always put his family's interest ahead of any other interest and of course he loves his wife n respects her, so he will always take d best decision. However, d husband isnt God, so even when the decision backfires, the lady isnt expected to say"shey i told u", they both learn from the mistake and move on - the relationship they enjoy is still perfectly intact.

Pls note - A lady that doesnt know the meaning of submission shd not go near marriage or we see the most common types of marriages around us - uncooperative tenants.

God bless women like you. You give men hope. ;

Submission and love are inseparable. A woman shouldn't submit to a man that doesn't love her and man should not love a woman that doesn't submit to him. It's a self-reinforcing cycle that takes wisdom, humility and a genuine commitment by both parties to nurture and sustain.

Submission is not a choice. It is required of a woman in marriage. I have read many women asking how do you submit to a cheat, a wife beater, gambler, etc? My advice to you is that please do not marry a cheat, wife beater and gambler. The man is the head of the house and the woman should submit to him. If you know you can not submit to your man, then please do not marry him. There is absolutely no reason for a woman to marry a man she cannot submit to or respect. It is a sin so please dont get into it just because you want to get married.

Please note I have not defined what submission means. I will leave that to personal interpretation as there is no standard definition.

The problem of western education is that it has blunted the concept of submission.

My mother never knelt before my father one day. But she defers to him in decision making and everything. That is why they have been married for close to 50 years.

In contrast, you see young women who think that because they now work, have an education and all, there will now be two captains in one boat. Then tomorrow they will complain loudest when the man starts spending time with another woman who knows how to do the job outside.

Nashville:

Submission is not a choice. It is required of a woman in marriage. I have read many women asking how do you submit to a cheat, a wife beater, gambler, etc? My advice to you is that please do not marry a cheat, wife beater and gambler. The man is the head of the house and the woman should submit to him. If you know you can not submit to your man, then please do not marry him. There is absolutely no reason for a woman to marry a man she cannot submit to or respect. It is a sin so please dont get into it just because you want to get married.

Please note I have not defined what submission means. I will leave that to personal interpretation as there is no standard definition.

So your advice only pertains to single women? If they are already married to cheats and wife-beaters, then there is no hope but an eternity of servitude to a man that will infect them with HIV? Abeg, the submission instruction only applies when there is love. Once the love comots, you had better start packing your load.

laidol:

Submission wont be an issue when the couple have a good and enviable relationship. The guy will love and respect the wife while the wife wont have an option than to submit to him. Submission DOES NOT mean the lady is clueless, they both have ideas but when they fail to agree, the guy MUST be the man of the house. Remember that the guy has always put his family's interest ahead of any other interest and of course he loves his wife n respects her, so he will always take d best decision. However, d husband isnt God, so even when the decision backfires, the lady isnt expected to say"shey i told u", they both learn from the mistake and move on - the relationship they enjoy is still perfectly intact.

Pls note - A lady that doesnt know the meaning of submission shd not go near marriage or we see the most common types of marriages around us - uncooperative tenants.

this is superb.
will you marry me?

Personally, I believe submission is relative. How do you subject yourself to a person [b]whose judgement is not sound? [/b]How do you trust him to make decisions in the interest of the family, when more often than not, the reverse has been the case? What do you do when he insists, give in so that you are labelled "submissive"?

To me, marriage is a partnership, the wife complements the husband!
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Why do you agree to marry someone whose judgement is not sound in the first place?
Either his judgement sound or not, so far you have agreed to marry him, YOU MUST SUBMIT.

All these submission is relative are imported problem that have caused havoc in the home
of many people. Therefore, even if you marry a man that is bed-wetting, you MUST SUBMIT
to him till death do you part period.

moremi2008:

So your advice only pertains to single women? If they are already married to cheats and wife-beaters, then there is no hope but an eternity of servitude to a man that will infect them with HIV? Abeg, the submission instruction only applies when there is love. Once the love comots, you had better start packing your load.

You have said the truth even though you may be joking. For single girls, please choose carefully because you would be required to submit to your husband. Do not marry a man you cannot respect or you do not trust just because you are getting desperate.

For married women my answer is this; your lack of submission cannot solve any problems in your marriage. If you have married an irresponsible, abusive or cheating man, you need to ask God to help you and to help him so that you can both enjoy your marriage. If you choose not to submit to your husband, you can never solve any problems. You are really better off leaving the house and doing your own thing. If you want to stay then you should work out a way together to resolve all these issues and the first thing you need to show him is that you are willing to help solve his problems by submitting to him.

Now if you want to know what submission is, study Ephesians 5:22-25. It just describes the relationship between man and wife. If you really love your husband, you will find it easy to submit, trust me, they go hand in hand. The answer is love!

Being submisive is not totally surrenderin to the husband, but, to adhere and do whatever he says. But sometimes, if the wife is not convince with what the husband commands, then she can now sit her husband down and voice her own opinion on the matter at hand. And the husband wil also reason for awhile to know which suggestion is better. Cos, "husband is the head of the house" does not mean men are always right. That is the reason God created women to assist us. So, we have to also hear from them cos, THEIR OPINION ALSO COUNTS!!

Nashville:



You have said the truth even though you may be joking. For single girls, please choose carefully because you would be required to submit to your husband. Do not marry a man you cannot respect or you do not trust just because you are getting desperate.

For married women my answer is this; your lack of submission cannot solve any problems in your marriage. If you have married an irresponsible, abusive or cheating man, you need to ask God to help you and to help him so that you can both enjoy your marriage. If you choose not to submit to your husband, you can never solve any problems. You are really better off leaving the house and doing your own thing. If you want to stay then you should work out a way together to resolve all these issues and the first thing you need to show him is that you are willing to help solve his problems by submitting to him.

Now if you want to know what submission is, study Ephesians 5:22-25. It just describes the relationship between man and wife. If you really love your husband, you will find it easy to submit, trust me, they go hand in hand. The answer is love!

Now I am really curious about your opinion on how this relates to men. What should a man do with an un-submissive wife? Should men also base their marital decisions on how submissive the lady is?

marriage is not by force

if you don't want to submit, please don't border to marry.


But pls if you don't marry don't break any other woman's home.

 All this women that finds it difficult to play their roles as women in marriage are those type that will not allow married men to rest and will be the first to complain that men are cheat.

D bible didn't add all these clauses my 9ja sistas r cooking up o!!! It's "wives submit, , den men love, " No "if, , else" clauses

Exactly! If everyone played their part marriage won't be such hard work as we know. If you're already married it's too late I guess. The wife should submit and the husband should love, both without conditions. To submit would mean accepting his decision as final even if you should have your say still.

Those who are unmarried would have to put their partners up against God's standard. For her: does he love me unconditionally? Will my own plans for my life ultimately blend with his? Can I trust him with my future? Can I trust him to make the right decisions for our kids? etc, etc. If you can answer an honest yes to these questions then bitter arguments shouldn't arise, not just because he loves you but because you consider him capable and smart enough to make the right decisions for you both.

And for him: Does she love me as well (believe me submission is not the first thing here. Guys also want to feel loved first)? Is she proud, haughty, incalcitrant, and/or considers herself too smart for me? Does it take threats and not superior arguments to get her to fall in line? Does she respect me? etc, etc.

To our sistas who think the western world provides the ideal marriage model, you may want to consider what the divorce rate figures are. . . 1 in 2 in the US. Unless you won't mind being forty with three kids and waiting on your third husband.

At the end of the day, like someone pointed out earlier, where true love exists everything else should be a lot easier.

MarcAnthon:

Exactly! If everyone played their part marriage won't be such hard work as we know. If you're already married it's too late I guess. The wife should submit and the husband should love, both without conditions. To submit would mean accepting his decision as final even if you should have your say still.

Those who are unmarried would have to put their partners up against God's standard. For her: does he love me unconditionally? Will my own plans for my life ultimately blend with his? Can I trust him with my future? Can I trust him to make the right decisions for our kids? etc, etc. If you can answer an honest yes to these questions then bitter arguments shouldn't arise, not just because he loves you but because you consider him capable and smart enough to make the right decisions for you both.

And for him: Does she love me as well (believe me submission is not the first thing here. Guys also want to feel loved first)? Is she proud, haughty, incalcitrant, and/or considers herself too smart for me? Does it take threats and not superior arguments to get her to fall in line? Does she respect me? etc, etc.

To our sistas who think the western world provides the ideal marriage model, you may want to consider what the divorce rate figures are. . . 1 in 2 in the US. Unless you won't mind being forty with three kids and waiting on your third husband.

At the end of the day, like someone pointed out earlier, where true love exists everything else should be a lot easier.

So your vision of marriage is a jail cell for women? Is this why many Nigerian brides find themselves beaten to death? Your interpretation of the Bible is dangerous and contradictory.  Sorry, I will never advice my sister to submit to a man that's beating her up or cheating on her. Your wife is NOT your slave.

MarcAnthon:

Exactly! If everyone played their part marriage won't be such hard work as we know. If you're already married it's too late I guess. The wife should submit and the husband should love, both without conditions. To submit would mean accepting his decision as final even if you should have your say still.

Those who are unmarried would have to put their partners up against God's standard. For her: does he love me unconditionally? Will my own plans for my life ultimately blend with his? Can I trust him with my future? Can I trust him to make the right decisions for our kids? etc, etc. If you can answer an honest yes to these questions then bitter arguments shouldn't arise, not just because he loves you but because you consider him capable and smart enough to make the right decisions for you both.

And for him: Does she love me as well (believe me submission is not the first thing here. Guys also want to feel loved first)? Is she proud, haughty, incalcitrant, and/or considers herself too smart for me? Does it take threats and not superior arguments to get her to fall in line? Does she respect me? etc, etc.

To our sistas who think the western world provides the ideal marriage model, you may want to consider what the divorce rate figures are. . . 1 in 2 in the US. Unless you won't mind being forty with three kids and waiting on your third husband.

At the end of the day, like someone pointed out earlier, where true love exists everything else should be a lot easier.

 Thank you macanthon, is it not only in US, UK is even worst, by the age of 27 they have three kids with 3 different men by 35 they are looking for the forth husband.

 it is a shame when people want to emulate every thing from the west.
in terms of family values, i think the west has failed.

 God the author of marriages, gave us the rule to play by. play yours effectively.
whether Muslim or christian, the man is the Head. like in EVery  institution whether eathly or heavenly, the head is the decision taker, but does not make the decision in isolation, rather considers the contribution of others. in this case  considers the wife's contributions.

I don't need any woman submissiveness abegi!

let her submit to herself and her vices, as for me i can do it on my own,

My money will make her submit,  as long as a man does not need any kobo from a woman, let her keep her submisiveness,

By the way, being submissive does not give account of a good wife, she can be submissive physically, do you know what is on her mind? she might as well be playing you mumu cos she knew where she was going,

Let my wife fight, slap, pour water on my head, at least that makes her submissive to me cos she knew where she will land as soon as i pounds on her, the implication is severe like a Dictator inflicting severe consequences on rebel,

Submissive means,  fight me and see where you land singing,  eshe o pa niyan loju e ri,


On a serious note, a man in his right senses will first love his woman before getting married to her, what love does a naughty wife who is so selfish, does not think about the future of her children, everything is about her, her husband makes decision that will improve the quality of her life and children, all she knows is her present condition, doesn't want to endure any temporary hardship, what love does she need from her husband when she has made her point clear that" she want present pleasure and that all" infact i have said it again and again, women are reduction to man,

A man married a woman praying and hoping she doesn't change, while a woman marry a man to change her,

I don't want any submission, all i want is unselfish woman, who love her husband and her children, who can endure, sacrifice for common good,

They all display this when they are not in, let them in and you will see the TRU color.

moremi2008:

So your vision of marriage is a jail cell for women? Is this why many Nigerian brides find themselves beaten to death? Your interpretation of the Bible is dangerous and contradictory.  Sorry, I will never advice my sister to submit to a man that's beating her up or cheating on her. Your wife is NOT your slave.

Does your own interpretation of the blble advice your sister to divorce if she is not able to submit to her husband?

please if you dont know the bible dont just bring it up here.

 we are not abaut the bible now,

tivta:

To the girls who say nigeria has the highest rate of std's please post your source. Its quite clear you girls lack true african up bringing and i wont be surprised if you experience more than 5 divorce in your life time due to non submission. I rather die with std and have responsible children devoid of divorce than have irresponsible children and live till 100.

theres something wrong with this reasoning on soooo many levels ayour claims are unfounded and untrue.
seriously though? but seriously? you will rather die of aids than have your child divorce? Thank you for that, you have now given me the true reason as to why that country is in such a mess, it's full of mad people with ill logic. such nonsense!
now to answer your first question
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_HIV/AIDS_adult_prevalence_rate 3rd place