Gosh did not realise I got so long
Forgot to add-
Do I submit to my husband by letting him use me as his sex slave?- Certainly not!
I love him so much that I even call him sometime at work to hurry home, then I serve him a special meal, to get him ready for his night shift.
In fact there are days i even threaten to rape him

it is good to submit to your husband. really, if you respect him you will submit without being told to do so.
but why are men soooo ungrateful. how many men can boldly say out loud to the hearing of the whole world that they "honestly love their wives". after all the same bible is the book that commands "husbands love your wives" just as it commands "wives submit to your own husbands".

A woman gets pregnant, gives birth to a beautiful baby, the next thing the man does is to look at her and says her boobs sag, she is no longer sexy simply because her body changed.
Whyyyy men, whyyyy?

just as it commands "wives submit to your own husbands

mutter:

davidylan, you are mean
Queensmith
Stop vomiting, you might be spilling out the little sense you have in there. ow can you be taking paracetamol for stomach ache. Besides the way you home must be smelling now, have no fear n o man will intrude.
[b]Submission certainly does not mean losing ones self.
We all submit every day in our life to laws and regulations. At work we submit to our bosses. If you have an innovative idea at work but the company does not want to implement it does it make you a slave or someone that is weak and without a mind? Do you get rude and storm out? This you do for a mere income.
Now here you have a woman in a family, there is more at stake than just a mere income and you think that submission is out of place- strange.
The few times I ever pleaded with my husband to let me have my way, even though he was against it always backfired. i had to come back and admit that it was a wrong decision and I wished he had stopped me.
Through my submission I have gained myself unimaginable freedom in my marriage. For instance my husband is not in any way a social person but he lets me go out even all night long. This is because he knows that he can trust me and that I would never do it without his blessing. Even if he says you can go if you want to, I will never go. He needs to let me know that he approves it. He also knows exactly where I am and most times it is a social function so he has no problems.
He has also never had a problem with women or men calling this house or visiting me.
Since most of my decisions are rational, he also hardly objects, so I find it hard to imagine where I am missing out.
Most time when he opposes my suggestion, I thank him for his advice. I am intelligent enough to reason that he is right and that I was on the wrong lane.
Sometimes it does happen that his own decision was wrong. Even then I still accept it. I certainly tell him my opinion but let him know that I submit to his decision.
Eventually he also comes back to me to admit I was right. I think making those mistakes was also very important in building our marriage because he had to make them to appreciate that I was right and also even more important- that i loved him and respected him enough to accept and stand behind the wrong decisions.
That`s how you build a marriage. Today we both know where our strong points and weak points are.
When it comes to decision making - I make most of them today because my husband knows I am very competent, most especially when it pertains to the children.
When it comes to finances- I submit to my husband. This is because in this regard he is more competent. I can be somewhat spontaneous and he is very reasonable with money. To be honest I had to struggle some years with that one,  
Do I loose my identity because I clean and cook, pet and spoil him?- certainly not he is my first baby in the house. I do the same for all my kids.
Do I loose my identity because I apologise, even when I am not necessarily to blame?- Certainly not because apologising is a good way of opening the door for the man to apologise and admit his fault, while retaining his pride. When you apologise you are apologising for what you did wrong, which might have been raising your voice or getting rude.  

[/b]

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, one of the sweetest things I ever read anywhere! I didn't want to comment on this thread before but I have to applaud this.

Virtuous woman,
sometimes we women make the mistake of believing that a man would love us because of the kids. But that is not completely right. you have to earn your love yourself and not through your child.
There are certainly mean and cruel men out there but that is not always the case. What of the instances where the woman has given birth to a beautiful baby and yet has also done so many negative things that make the love dwindle?
I remember once when I was pregnant I got so mad at my husband, I just felt he was not being caring and considerate and my hormones were rioting and going amok. He just sat there watching TV and was grinning at my comments, somehow a fuse blew and I went into the room and came out with his cloths and threw them on him. After the third wailing trip to the room (by this time, I was sober enough to drop them beside him) he asked me calmly to put all the cloths back and after that i needed to apologise because my behaviour was unacceptable. I was so hurt I just flung myself on the bed and cried myself out. But it soon dawned on me that I had done something ridiculously childish and rude. His calm reaction had also complicated issues. I knew I could leave those cloths but it would be more like a -do your worst - challenge. I felt pretty worried about going further to hurt his ego, so I went back to fold the cloths and put them back, still crying. He asked me if I was sorry, I replied no and he wanted to know why I was picking them up. I told him I did not know why. Anyway he helped even though it was not much, but I guess it was a gesture that spoke words. When we were through I went to him still sobbing, got down on my knees and apologised. I never meant to hurt him. He just took me in his arms and told me it was not my fault but the hormones, he knew I would never want to hurt him. He also explained that he was only trying to laugh over things so I cheer up and did not realise it was the wrong approach at that time.
This nasty incident only strengthened us because we learnt not to cross certain boundaries and most importantly that we needed to help each other, when boundaries are crossed. It is also very important for the other partner to recognise the help being offered.
He helped me in this instance by remaining calm and giving me the hint that I needed to correct my mistake.
I recognised this help and reacted first by putting back the  cloths.
He helped me further by helping me pick up the cloths. It was not much work but he was telling me, without words that he still stands by me and cares and he also takes some blame. This also made it easier for me to apologise. It was these gestures that earned my absolute respect and humility and got me down on my knees.
I try to imagine what if,  he had gone mad- fight escalates - no one ready to apologise,
Once the taboos are broken , it keeps reoccurring, no more boundaries, no more respect and the marriage breaks up or two people no longer in love co-habit .

ayodele123:

@TV
   You seem to misunderstand. The carnal mind cannot discern the things of the spirit. Wisdom is the principal thing. Marriage is a mystery.

I suppose I was a little optimistic hoping you'd present your case with clear reasoning and unadulterated reference to scripture. Do people still employ this type of pathetic and pharasaical religious tactic. Shame.

ayodele123:

   Love and submission flow together. A husband should love his wife and the wife should submit to her husband. Husband and wife are one flesh, not two. 1 plus 1 equals to 1 is the Bible standard in Marriage.

Who disputes this? Please adress the issue in question correctly. Does a man submit to his wife?

ayodele123:

  In many marriages, the husband expects his wife to submit first before he loves her. This is absolutely wrong. What love is there if the woman must first submit before she is loved?where then is the sacrifice? Is it then not a master-servant relationship? And marriage is not a master-servant relationship. A man submitting to his wife does not imply that the man will become her slave who washes her clothes or bows at her feet in worship. Husband and wife are to submit to each other and love one another as members of one body. For instance,Some husbands will have a wrong opinion of an issue. the wife has a better idea but the man refuses to see her better point because he is the head(Ego),and will go headlong in his error and may regret it. there are husbands who will never ever listen to a wife's opinion even if hers is better and more reasonable to execute and will rather implement their own wrong opinion and come out with regrets. It has happened in many homes. Headship of the home does not imply that the husband must have his ways every time in every situation in the home. Submission to each other in the fear of the lord is a statement in Ephesians 5:21 and it applies to every body, every relationship including husbands and wives.

Why the unecessary distraction? What point are you making?
90% of the time I give leave to my wifes preference. We discuss everything. In the rare instances we cannot agree and it's a serious matter that I don't believe I should, or cannot simply please her on, as husband I assume authority as head of the home. Simple. I love and serve my wife, I don't submit to her.

Oya, butcher scriture. Ephesians 5:21 "applies to everybody and every relationship"? No it does not. Please read it again in context.

At random. Man is the head of woman, Christ is the head of man. Oya, tell me your thesis applies here. Should Christ submit to man? What about Employer/Employee? Not spiritual, not sensible.

ayodele123:

CASE CLOSED!

Not just closed, also locked. Please take down that your website.

TV

Mutter- my take on
thing
s are completely different to yours. That much we agree on. I can't live off such sentiments. I do not believe it's fulfilling to live in servitude of another. Even if it's your husband. I certa
inly cannot imagine it.

queensmith when you fall in love and when you have children it will all come on it`s own. I like your rebellious nature, just do not overdo it and all will go well.

lol- people say that. But i know it's not true. No reason for a woman to lose her mind just because she's married. Men dont.

This issue of submission came about because there can't be 2 captains in a ship, just as you don't see 2 CEO's calling the shot in a particular organization; otherwise there will be chaos, a lot of bickering and no progress. I believe this is the same reason why in the Nigerian police force whenever a DIG is promoted to Inspector General, other DIG's are authomatically retired. The person in charge might not necessarily be the smartest, kindest, most loving etc. It just that one person has to call the shot for peace to reign. In marriage, God in his wisdom has decided that the husband should be the one calling the shots while the wife should help him. It doesn't mean the wife has automatically become a door mat, footstool or lost her mind, it's just that there has to be a leader & a follower.

[quote author=chalerea]It simple means to obey! As a woman you sold your life to a man the moment you say "Yes I do". That is why you change your surname after marriage. The whole duty of a man to his wife is to love her. The love of a man to his wife can be equal to the love of God to man. When a man is trying to do the wrong thing, God corrects the man somehow but man may not like it but it does not mean that God hate that man, the same is equal to a man and his wife. It take only true love for a husband to stop his wife when is going the way way when she completely feels she knows better than the man.[/quote


u must be a fool. who told u we women sold our lives . God forbid me selling my life for what ?

queensmith:
words cannot describe how much I hate the term. . .

Likely because you were raised by a trollop or are some kind of wannabe domineering new age feminist which is the biggest group of hypocrites that exist.

I love how people like you associate submission with slavery. If you hate being a female so much, get a sex change. Men aren't evil k? We aren't out to control you or own you k? However when we do go against nature and enter into a monogamous relationship we expect you to realize we are the dominant gender in the primate genus.

As a previous poster said - their cannot be 2 captains to a ship and personally, my wife isn't as submissive as I'd like which is the root of the vast majority of contention in our relationship. She's stubborn and she challenges me. She is fortunate that I detest confrontation almost as much as I detest feminists. You are all taking advantage of men and the times in a negative way which is damaging society in general.

Now I don't believe in God, the idea itself is pure fantasy to me and much of the bible has already been disproven by modern science (which the church then conveniently contorts or re interprets. However that is a different topic). I only bring this up to illustrate I am not a bible thumper and consider myself an academic or scholar even. While submission as an ideal was a major component of marraige and covered in scripture - it was present and practiced for MILLENIA prior as it is a natural and physiological part of our differences as opposing genders within a species.

To put it blank, you are going against nature. (as are many invented practices by the church, monogamy for example. Again, another topic)

Among the black species - good luck. I don't think I've met a submissive black woman in my life. Perhaps thats why the black men are going after white women now and out breeding Caucasians. (First year that white children are the minority in US public schools. Unreal. I keep getting off topic but this all strums the same chord for me)

Anyways, if your not ready to be submissive (IE be a wife), don't get married! I understand you guys love your money and all that but it won't last so if your not prepared, don't do it.

Marry a good man and not someone for their money and you'll be fine. I expect submission to an acceptable degree (not domination) and have never harmed my wife physically or emotionally. Almost 10 years now and I expect many many more. She's very educated (masters degree) and was raised just outside Detroit. (In case anyone felt like using the uneducated or rural bumpkin stereotypes)

Anyhow, I'm done.