coogar:

a woman should be submissive to her husband at all times.
being submissive is not idiocy - it's just a way of letting the man know he's the boss and he makes the final say.

for any marriage to be successful, the woman must be submissive.
the moment a woman feels like the boss, the boat rocks and it would be the death of the union.

yes, men demand a woman's submissiveness before marriage.
who would marry a female tout?

deols:

what exactly does it mean to be submissive?

In what circumstances is that required or can it be foregone?

to what extent is it a requirement for a successful marriage

DO men demand it even before tying the knot?

Miss_Ife:

Being submissive, to me, means you trust the other person enough to let him take the lead , but I don't think a 100% submission would be a good thing.

dasparrow:

Here is my 2 cents. The bible commands the man to love his wife like Christ loves the church. The problem with most Nigerian marraiges is that the man does not do that. After all, if he did, we won't keep hearing stories of domestic violence, high rates of infidelity or men leaving their wives because she has not given birth to a male child. People forget that a wife being submissive and her husband loving her like Christ loves His church go hand in hand. Unfortunately, male-dominated Nigerian society is quick to talk about the submissiveness aspect while almost entirely never mentioning the part where Christ commands the man to love his wife unconditionally. Couples should strive to make each other happy. A happy wife who is loved so much by her husband will not hesitate to do anything for him and will submit to him without being constantly reminded or told.

However, what I see in alot of Nigerian marraiges is pathetic. How can a woman submit to a serial cheat who puts her life and health at risk for HIV/AIDS and other STDS? How can a woman submit to an abuser who abuses her physically, emotionally, and verbally? How can a woman submit to a man who treats her worse than an animal? Is such a man following the stringent rule Christ gave commanding that he loves his wife like Christ loves the church? My point is, Nigerians can talk about submissiveness from today till tomorrow. If the average Nigerian male has not learnt to love his wife unconditionally like Christ loves the church, then total submissiveness on the part of the woman will forever remain an illusion and the divorce rate in Nigeria and amongst Nigerians along with domestic violence will continue to climb.

tpia@:

the op is muslim, haba.

Submission is a willingness to let the husband take the lead in the home. Taking the lead means being personally responsible and accountable for the home, not being the absolute power and authority in the home like men would like it to mean. That is surrender and domination not submission. You can’t force a woman to be submissive, it is something she does willingly.

dasparrow:

Here is my 2 cents. The bible commands the man to love his wife like Christ loves the church. The problem with most Nigerian marraiges is that the man does not do that. After all, if he did, we won't keep hearing stories of domestic violence, high rates of infidelity or men leaving their wives because she has not given birth to a male child. People forget that a wife being submissive and her husband loving her like Christ loves His church go hand in hand. Unfortunately, male-dominated Nigerian society is quick to talk about the submissiveness aspect while almost entirely never mentioning the part where Christ commands the man to love his wife unconditionally. Couples should strive to make each other happy. A happy wife who is loved so much by her husband will not hesitate to do anything for him and will submit to him without being constantly reminded or told.

However, what I see in alot of Nigerian marraiges is pathetic. How can a woman submit to a serial cheat who puts her life and health at risk for HIV/AIDS and other STDS? How can a woman submit to an abuser who abuses her physically, emotionally, and verbally? How can a woman submit to a man who treats her worse than an animal? Is such a man following the stringent rule Christ gave commanding that he loves his wife like Christ loves the church? My point is, Nigerians can talk about submissiveness from today till tomorrow. If the average Nigerian male has not learnt to love his wife unconditionally like Christ loves the church, then total submissiveness on the part of the woman will forever remain an illusion and the divorce rate in Nigeria and amongst Nigerians along with domestic violence will continue to climb.

dasparrow:

Here is my 2 cents. The bible commands the man to love his wife like Christ loves the church. The problem with most Nigerian marraiges is that the man does not do that. After all, if he did, we won't keep hearing stories of domestic violence, high rates of infidelity or men leaving their wives because she has not given birth to a male child. People forget that a wife being submissive and her husband loving her like Christ loves His church go hand in hand. Unfortunately, male-dominated Nigerian society is quick to talk about the submissiveness aspect while almost entirely never mentioning the part where Christ commands the man to love his wife unconditionally. Couples should strive to make each other happy. A happy wife who is loved so much by her husband will not hesitate to do anything for him and will submit to him without being constantly reminded or told.

However, what I see in alot of Nigerian marraiges is pathetic. How can a woman submit to a serial cheat who puts her life and health at risk for HIV/AIDS and other STDS? How can a woman submit to an abuser who abuses her physically, emotionally, and verbally? How can a woman submit to a man who treats her worse than an animal? Is such a man following the stringent rule Christ gave commanding that he loves his wife like Christ loves the church? My point is, Nigerians can talk about submissiveness from today till tomorrow. If the average Nigerian male has not learnt to love his wife unconditionally like Christ loves the church, then total submissiveness on the part of the woman will forever remain an illusion and the divorce rate in Nigeria and amongst Nigerians along with domestic violence will continue to climb.

skirmish:

Personally, I believe submission is relative. How do you subject yourself to a person whose judgement is not sound? How do you trust him to make decisions in the interest of the family, when more often than not, the reverse has been the case? What do you do when he insists, give in so that you are labelled "submissive"?

To me, marriage is a partnership, the wife complements the husband!

ileobatojo:

Ose o! If a man asks me to bring all my money so he can take it on a gambling trip must I submit?

That’s why I will always encourage single women to make marrying a person with sound judgment that you can trust and respect a priority! It’s just as important as all the other common reasons for getting married, ‘I love him’, 'he’s a good man’, 'I’m getting old’ etc. Many women end up with men they are more mature than and that they are better decision makers than!