How wise, how assured is it to ask a/your pastor to examine or decide on your relationship or whom you should marry? On several occasions me & my friends have tried but it's always negative. How do they know what will be good for us? Some end up scaring us with some terrible statements like "if you marry him/her, you will not have peace or the marriage will collapse or in a short while you'll be a widow or widower or you'll not prosper or he/she will be un-faithful or he/she is possess or etc" have you experience this before? What was your reaction to this and what was the result of your reaction?

Why for goodness' sake would you listen to such people? Why? Why? 
Of course, it's no news these men are simply selfish little braggarts!

Criminal pastors. Always all about money

It is not supposed to be the duty of any pastor to interfere in any relationship, so, whoever takes his/her partner to any "pastor" is the foolish one

That's right man. When people can't make decision on their own.

Who drags your spouse to the pastor?

listen, I may respect an elder person's opinions but that doesn't mean I have to agree with him on everything personal.

If you keep ur relationship to yourself then the pastor will not bother you.

Expecting his opinion means you are not confident with your decision and therefore wants 'approval and assurance from the man of the cloak to feel good.

^^^seconded

pendo89:

Who drags your spouse to the pastor?

listen, I may respect an elder person's opinions but that doesn't mean I have to agree with him on everything personal.

If you keep ur relationship to yourself then the pastor will not bother you.

Expecting his opinion means you are not confident with your decision and therefore wants 'approval and assurance from the man of the cloak to feel good.

many including me have made this mistake. Some pastors will turn back to approach the lady.

^^ know the lady you are dating. Pastors are small gods to some people you know.

Many people blame these men of the cloak but they themselves are to blame.
The pastor must come up with an answer because you approached him and it's rare to hear pastor admit they are not sure because it puts to doubt his calling.
From what I have seen so far,if you are a regular tither,committed in church he is more likely to approve regardless of whether you are dating a crook.
But if you are 'the thief who steals from God' by not tithing and you only show face in church during Easter and Christmas then you obviously know the answer.
That is why it is important to seek God's will on your own because you have full access to God. The word is is enough.

pendo89:

^^ know the lady you are dating. Pastors are small gods to some people you know.

Many people blame these men of the cloak but they themselves are to blame. 
The pastor must come up with an answer because you approached him and it's rare to hear pastor admit they are not sure because it puts to doubt his calling.
From what I have seen so far,if you are a regular tither,committed in church he is more likely to approve regardless of whether you are dating a crook.
But if you are 'the thief who steals from God' by not tithing and you only show face in church during Easter and Christmas then you obviously know the answer.
That is why it is important to seek God's will on your own because you have full access to God. The word is is enough.

see your thread
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-890300.0.html

^^ how did I miss it? I have seen 2 faces I know there.But u know,such threads evoke strong emotions.
But yeah those are but a tip.

pendo89:

^^ how did I miss it? I have seen 2 faces I know there.But u know,such threads evoke strong emotions.
But yeah those are but a tip.

I created the thread @ the romance section so you and Goodgirl could see it but that nonsense moderator jaybee moved the thread to the dead culture section

lol but true its cultural and he only did his job.Thanks for providing the link.I have checked it out.

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I think it has to to with familial and peer pressure as much as self esteem. But whatever brings it about, if you can't decide "hey, I love this guy, I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with him" on your own, then you're obviously not mature enough to be in a relationship of any kind.

My bible doesnt tell me to seek the face of any pastor to confirm or anything. If God chooses to talk to me through anyone it has to be them coming to me not me going to them.
Infact the only time my pastor is gonna c my wife to be, is during the official presentation as required by my denomination, not because i need them to approve of her or not. I will seek and get GODS WILL AND BLESSING ON MY OWN.

First tin is not good to see pastor about marry someone.Good tin to consult HOLY GOD with prayer by urself

First tin is not good to see pastor about marry someone.Good tin to consult HOLY GOD with prayer by urself

When the time comes for me to get married, I would seek God's face ON MY OWN. I believe that what God can reveal to a pastor, He can also reveal to me as long as ask him. I would not let any pastor dictate to me who or who not I should be getting married to.

Because yu think they should know what is good for y..wchich is wrong.

Seek the face of God he will help u not going to pastor to pray 4 u

idiamin, you dey craze



@pendo89, are you a kenyan?

OP, you have respect for your pastor, that's why you went. Some people already know what they want, they just want someone to blame for the action or what they intend to do. I wish pastors have the opportunity to share their own side of the story. How they adviced against a union and the couple went ahead anyway only to break up soon after. Pastors counsel many people all the time. so they know what to look out for in a good\healthy relationship and can spot unhealthy ones with ease.

The problem is, some people are blinded by present love or infatuation to see through the veil of deception by their partner. You must ask yourself or your pastor will ask you; why are you marrying him\her? how long have you courted? what is the difference or similarity in social, academic and economic class between you? (especially for the female) what is his\her christian background? what are your future goals? one way or the other someone should ask these questions, and provide answers. whether you or your pastor. If you are not sincere now, you may regret later. There have been occasions where a man or woman still under marital bond lures another person into marriage. your pastor may be able to discern these things. The problem is, we look at them as pastors who are there to collect where they have not planted instead of counselors who are there to guide in making best of decisions. Some men of God genuinely have the gift of the word of knowledge or wisdom. they know things. some are just doing guess works or advising based on selfish reasons. for example. when a lady brings a man from another church to see the pastor or seek advice or counsel. A canal pastor may object because he may have fixed up a guy within the church's assembly to marry the lady, or the pastor may object based on the reason that the man may pull the lady to his own church. The girl may be a prominent member within the church, in the choir maybe. For many of these, it is a sincere intention to guide the person from falling prey to deceivers or ending up in a bad and unhappy marriage. you can't just meet someone and the next month you are being wedded. You be kim or US female star? Life is too short to live in hell all in the name of ''I must marry''

Those idiots hv cos confusion bw me and my former babe and it eventualy cost us d relationshp

Those idiots hv cos confusion bw me and my former babe and it eventualy cost us d relationshp

it is always wise to have a marriage councelling before going into a fullblown commitment you may not be able to keep up with. But that it should be done experienced church leaders who have credible marriage/homes. The issue of taking the lady to the pastor depends on how close you are to them, you really don't have to get approval. When you value a person and trust their judgement, you would like to hear wat they have to say concerning you choice of spouse. Like your parents,uncles and your pastors. But the final decision is still left to you. The pastors can not stop your marriage.NOT POSSIBLE

some of thhose pastors doesnt even have up to 3years experience in dat marriage business, dey keep confusing people, God knows i wont get dat stooopid

some of thhose pastors doesnt even have up to 3years experience in dat marriage business, dey keep confusing people, God knows i wont get dat stooopid

L0l