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Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way - Jokes Etc (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by ekeroyal(m): 6:35pm On Jun 19, 2012
The Business Package

An airline introduced a special package for business men 'Buy a ticket and get your wife's ticket free'.
After great success, the airline sent letters to all the wives asking them 'how was the trip?'
All of them gave same reply "Which Trip?" sad sad sad sad sad

2 Likes

Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by ekeroyal(m): 11:11pm On Sep 07, 2012
At an art exhibition two women were staring at a painting entitled, "Home for Lunch".

The painting was of three very naked, and very black men, sitting on a park bench. What was unusual was that the men on both ends of the bench had black joysticks, but the man in the middle had a very pink penis. The two women were standing there, staring at the picture, scratching their heads and trying to figure this out. The artist walked by and noticed the women's confusion. "Can I help you with this painting?" he asked.

"Well, yes" said the one woman. "We were curious about the picture of the black men on the bench. Why does the man in the middle have a pink penis?"

"Oh," said the artist. "I'm afraid you've misunderstood the painting. The three men are not African-Americans, they're coal miners, and the fellow in the middle went "Home for Lunch."
Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by ekeroyal(m): 6:13pm On Sep 11, 2012
A boy went out to have cannabis with his friends in a hidden area, after about two hours they got a signal that Police was around. His friends signaled him to join them in escaping, at that point he began asking 'where are my legs?'
Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by ekeroyal(m): 11:39am On Oct 05, 2012
A man went to the doctor complaining that every time he spoke, he farted. "You must (FFFaaaart....) help me, Doc.
Its extremely (whwhwhiiiiffffle...) embarrassing. The only (Phhheeeeeeooooowwww....) saving grace is that the farts don't
(sssssphphrrrrrroophphphphphph....) smell."

"Hmm!" said the doctor, "I'll have to send you to a specialist."

"Will that be a gastro-enterologist (Faaaaaaart) or a surgeon?" said the patient.

"Neither," said the doctor. "I'm sending you to an Ear, Nose & Throat Specialist. If you think those farts don't smell,
then you've got something wrong with your nose ! !"


Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by swtchicgurl: 11:46am On Oct 05, 2012
nice jokes eke, long tym smiley
Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by ekeroyal(m): 12:00pm On Oct 05, 2012
^^hi pretty am good and hope you are too. Have been busy taking care of BG since he went haywire. But signals reaching me from yaba left shows he's recovering.
Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by swtchicgurl: 5:04pm On Oct 05, 2012
ekeroyal: ^^hi pretty am good and hope you are too. Have been busy taking care of BG since he went haywire. But signals reaching me from yaba left shows he's recovering.

lolz! naughty you. besides, who's BG? undecided
Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by ekeroyal(m): 1:31pm On Oct 10, 2012
Don't tell me you don't know the one and only mad man of this section.
Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by ekeroyal(m): 5:45pm On Oct 18, 2012
A married man was having an affair with his
secretary. One day, their passions overcame them
and they took off for her house, where they made
passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the
wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8:00
pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them
through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless
complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when
he entered the house. "Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair
with my secretary and we've been having sex all
afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight
o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You
lying bastard! You've been playing golf!".

1 Like

Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by lancey(m): 6:58pm On Oct 18, 2012
nice work bro
Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by ekeroyal(m): 9:08pm On Oct 18, 2012
lancey: nice work bro

Thanks bro wink
Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by ekeroyal(m): 6:46pm On Nov 13, 2012
FUN TIME (laugh with caution)
=============================
Always check your dictionary well......

'Good-Morning Doc,' Musa says. 'I want to be Castrated.'

'What on Earth for?' asks the Doctor in amazement.

'I...... It's something I'v been thinking about for a longtime & I want to have it done,' he replies.

'But have you thought it through properly?' asks the Doctor.
'It's a very serious operation and once it's done,there's no going back.It will change your Life forever!'

'I'm aware of that & you're not going to change my mind,so either you book me in to be Castrated or I'll simply go to another Doctor.'

'Well,Ok,'says the Doctor, 'But it's against my better Judgement!'

So he had his operation and the next day, he is up & walking very slowly, legs apart down the Hospital Corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him, is another patient walking in exactly the same manner.

'Hi there?' Musa says, 'It looks as if you've just had the same operation as mine!'

'Well, ' said the patient, 'I finally decided after 37 years of Life that I'd like to be Circumcised.'

He stared at him in horror and screamed,,,,,,,,
'SHIT,THAT'S THE WORD!' AH! I made a mistake! cry
Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by ekeroyal(m): 10:51pm On Nov 16, 2012
A man was having problems with premature eja.culation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem.
In response, the doctor said, “When you feel like you are getting ready to eja-culate, try startling yourself.”
That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion, he ran home to his wife.
At home, he found his wife was in bed, naked and waiting. As the two began, they found themselves in the celebrated 69 position. The man, moments later, felt the sudden urge to eja.culate and fired the starter pistol.
The next day, the man went back to the doctor.
The doctor asked, “How did it go?”
The man answered, “Not that well. When I fired the pistol, my wife shit on my face, bit 3 inches off my penis, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air.”
Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by ekeroyal(m): 7:16am On Nov 18, 2012
There is a factory in Essex which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys.. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.
Well, Shelley is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.
The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee.
He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line
is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.
At the end of the line stands Shelley surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush Red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.

The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little
package between Elmo's legs. The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together
and approaches Shelley. 'I'm sorry,' he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, 'but I think you misunderstood the instructions
I gave you yesterday...' he continues 'Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.
cool

1 Like

Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by ekeroyal(m): 12:00am On Dec 06, 2012
RENT FOR APARTMENT
A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their thing, and before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a cheque & mail it to her, calling the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.'On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a cheque for $250 and enclose the following letter:
Dear Madam:
Enclosed find a cheque for $250 for rent of your apartment.
I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was under the impression that:
#1 - it had never been occupied;
#2 - there was plenty of heat; and
#3 - it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.
However, I found out that:
#1- it had been previously occupied,
#2 - there wasn't any heat, and
#3 - it was entirely too large. Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following

watch out for part 2
Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by ekeroyal(m): 7:41am On Jan 02, 2013
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT

A man is flying from Los Angeles to New York. During the meal service, he accidentally knocked the spoon off to the aisle with his elbow.
The flight attendant immediately took a spoon from his pocket and placed it on his tray table. The man was very impressed by the promptness
of the service and asked, "Do all flight attendants carry a spoon in their pockets?"

The flight attendant answered, "We had an efficiency expert in to evaluate our operation. He determined that 25% of the customers knock the
spoon off their tray tables. By carrying a spare spoon, we all save trips to the galley and can be much more efficient."

Later, as the flight attendant is picking his dirty tray up, the customer asked, "Excuse me for asking but why do you have a string hanging from your fly?"

The flight attendant replied, "The efficiency expert determined that we were spending too much time washing our hands after we went to the bathroom.
To counteract this, we tie strings to our joysticks."

The customer looked confused. "How does that help?" he asked.

"Well, when I go to the bathroom I just use the string. Since I never touched myself I don't need to wash my hands."

The customer nodded and asked, "But how do you get it back in your pants?"

The flight attendant smiled, "I don't know about the other guys, but I use the spoon."
Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by MrTAnonymous(m): 8:47am On Jan 03, 2013
ekeroyal: Catch the laugh in here as this thread is a collective one, past and present.

SUPA STORY 2

Mr. Jide's a hunter who lives in a rural area. He's got a family of 12 besides his mother. His kids hated their grand mother. It happened that he lived during a time when there was lots of famine in his community as well as other communities around. He went into the forest in hunt for game but returned with none. The same senario continued for 3 consecutive days. Finally, he came across some mushroom poisonous & non-poisonous. He ignorantly picked all up because he could not see clearly due to hunger & tiredness.

When he got home, he passed all to his wife to prepare. He forgot to inform his wife that she needed to take out the poisnous ones. When he remembered it, the whole cooking was over. Just then a friend entered & told them not to worry, that the good mushrooms would out power the poisonous ones. But Jide was skeptical, but his wife said they should try some on bingo & if bingo never died after sometime then they can eat without getting scared.

So they passed some mushroom to bingo, he wasted no time in eating his porton. After 1 hour bingo was still moving around wagging it's tail happily. So they decided to eat, after eating everyone felt good. Not too long bingo was out of sight and suddenly a neighbour rushed to the Jides to inform them of bingo's death. Immediately they started inducing vomit but it never came. While desperate for anti-poison, their grandmother offered her bucket of urine to them which would serve as anti-poison. With alacrity they finished up the urine in the bucket & waited in queue as she supplied them more urine while they supplied her water to drink. 20 minutes later, a strange man visited them. The man's look was scary & out of fear they requested for more urine from grandma. Then the man suddenly said, please am sorry for the death of bingo. I mistakenly hit him.
'WHAT?' the Jides asked -they had taken enough grandma's urine therapy looking to vomit now again.

Moral: You may be in a seemingly fool's job, open you eyes. You never can tell.
*laughs*nice jokes,ekeroyal,I don miss u,where hav u been
Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by bingbagbo(m): 11:15am On Jan 03, 2013
Mr.T Anonymous:
*laughs*nice jokes,ekeroyal,I don miss u,where hav u been









GUY ARE U GAY angry angry
Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by MrTAnonymous(m): 11:51am On Jan 03, 2013
bin gbagbo:








GUY ARE U GAY angry angry
sumtin lik dat

1 Like

Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by bingbagbo(m): 12:08pm On Jan 03, 2013
Mr.T Anonymous:
sumtin lik dat


i bind you in jizorz name... shocked shocked shocked
Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by MrTAnonymous(m): 12:14pm On Jan 03, 2013
bin gbagbo:

i bind you in jizorz name... shocked shocked shocked
why d pretense,se u no dey 4 gay's club ni,abi u don 4get ni?!
Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by bunmioguns(m): 12:18pm On Jan 03, 2013
Mr.T Anonymous:
why d pretense,se u no dey 4 gay's club ni,abi u don 4get ni?!



shocked shocked shocked shocked
Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by bingbagbo(m): 2:00pm On Jan 03, 2013
Mr.T Anonymous:
why d pretense,se u no dey 4 gay's club ni,abi u don 4get ni?!





I BIND YOU angry
Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by MrTAnonymous(m): 2:05pm On Jan 03, 2013
bin gbagbo:




I BIND YOU angry
Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by ekeroyal(m): 8:36am On Jan 04, 2013
Mr.T Anonymous:
*laughs*nice jokes,ekeroyal,I don miss u,where hav u been

Thanks bro, have been very fine. Just been busier than usual. How are you too?

bin gbagbo:






GUY ARE U GAY angry angry

BG, the gay Lord, hope you have your Vaseline and your partner, cos we don't keep such. Now let me direct you to where you can find a space. (Gambari!) angry
Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by MrTAnonymous(m): 8:47am On Jan 04, 2013
ekeroyal:

Thanks bro, have been very fine. Just been busier than usual. How are you too?



BG, the gay Lord, hope you have your Vaseline and your partner, cos we don't keep such. Now let me direct you to where you can find a space. (Gambari!) angry
Am cul,don't mind him,can't u see dat his name resembles his character BIN AGBO(RAM).
Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by ekeroyal(m): 9:22am On Jan 04, 2013
Mr.T Anonymous:
Am cul,don't mind him,can't u see dat his name resembles his character BIN AGBO(RAM).

T's the man cheesy

1 Like

Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by bingbagbo(m): 11:23am On Jan 04, 2013
ekeroyal:

T's the man cheesy















two gay bush pigs embarassed embarassed
Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by MrTAnonymous(m): 11:47am On Jan 04, 2013
bin gbagbo:













two gay bush pigs embarassed embarassed
when will u learn 2 face reality and accept ur responsibilities,bin?!
Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by Nobody: 1:48pm On Jan 04, 2013
ekeroyal: Old local blacksmith

An old blacksmith realised he was soon going to quit working so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice.
The old fellow was crabby and exacting. "don't ask me a lot of questions," he told the boy. "Just do whatever I tell you to do."
One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil. "Get the hammer over there," he said.
"When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard."



grin grin grin grin grin









Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith.

cry cry cry cry cry
This one got me giggling.
Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by Nobody: 2:27pm On Jan 04, 2013
ekeroyal: FUN TIME (laugh with caution)
=============================
Always check your dictionary well......

'Good-Morning Doc,' Musa says. 'I want to be Castrated.'

'What on Earth for?' asks the Doctor in amazement.

'I...... It's something I'v been thinking about for a longtime & I want to have it done,' he replies.

'But have you thought it through properly?' asks the Doctor.
'It's a very serious operation and once it's done,there's no going back.It will change your Life forever!'

'I'm aware of that & you're not going to change my mind,so either you book me in to be Castrated or I'll simply go to another Doctor.'

'Well,Ok,'says the Doctor, 'But it's against my better Judgement!'

So he had his operation and the next day, he is up & walking very slowly, legs apart down the Hospital Corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him, is another patient walking in exactly the same manner.

'Hi there?' Musa says, 'It looks as if you've just had the same operation as mine!'

'Well, ' said the patient, 'I finally decided after 37 years of Life that I'd like to be Circumcised.'

He stared at him in horror and screamed,,,,,,,,
'SHIT,THAT'S THE WORD!' AH! I made a mistake! cry
Lol grin grin grin
Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by ekeroyal(m): 2:48pm On Jan 04, 2013
Thanks Vanneri wink

Mr. T, BG is like that boy who wakes up and forgets what he looks like or what he's wearing and goes bragging about his looks and his "all seeing" shorts.
Please save your saliva, I mean your time and energy. BG is a robot, you can comprehend the rest. undecided

1 Like

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