hmnn, u try

swtchicgurl: hmnn, u try

Pls say sth better. I've passed the trial stage long time ago.

2 STEP TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY

sTEP

1. gIVE HER PLENTY OF MONEY

2. rEPEAT STEP 1 DAILY.

Otooro in trouble

A man left work one Friday afternoon. Being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spent his entire paycheck. When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.

Finally, his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"

To which he replied, "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

Guess what happened..
























scroll more, please.......


























Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

Family wahala - 1

Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them
kept complaining of family problems. Finally, the other man said:
"You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation. A few
years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter and we got
married.

"Later my father married my step daughter. That made my
stepdaughter my stepmother and my father became my stepson. Also,
my wife became mother in-law of her father-in-law.

Then the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son. This boy
was my half-brother because he was my father's son, but he was also
the son of my wife's daughter which made him my wife's grand-son.
That made me the grandfather of my half-brother.

"This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the
half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the grandmother.
"This makes my father the brother-in-law of my child, whose
stepsister is my father's wife, I'm my stepmother's brother-in-law,
my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew and
I'm My own son's grandfather! And you think you have family wahala




Pls who can explain, I don't even understand.

ok

ekeroyal: 2 STEP TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY

sTEP

1. gIVE HER PLENTY OF MONEY

2. rEPEAT STEP 1 DAILY.

i like this one! can u prove it on me?

swtchicgurl:

i like this one! can u prove it on me?

Ole, it has been proven several times, your case can't change anything

Am loving these
At least keep it coming

dokunbam: Am loving these
At least keep it coming

Thanks brother, may there be meat in your soup always.

ekeroyal:

Ole, it has been proven several times, your case can't change anything

mtchew, coward!
u beta step up to more responsibilities!

swtchicgurl:

mtchew, coward!
u beta step up to more responsibilities!

You mean to your responsibilities?

Pls, the number you're trying to reach isn't available now. Try again later.





ODE!

PARROT SHOP

A lady went to the store to buy a parrot and asks the sales person "What's so special about the parrot ?"
Sales person: "this parrot can talk" So the lady asks the parrot "how do I look?" The parrot replies "you look like a phucking Slut?"
The lady gets pissed off and tells the sales person that its a very rude parrot and she cannot buy it.
The sales person tells her to please wait for 2 mins.
The sales person takes the parrot to the back of the store and shoves the parrot into a bucket of water and when he pulls the parrot out he says "if you disrespect the lady out there I'll soak you in water again" and takes the parrot back outside.
The sales person asked the lady to ask the parrot another question.
Lady: "if i come home with 1 man what would you think?"
Parrot: "he's your husband"
Lady: "2 men"
Parrot "your husband and his brother"
Lady: "3 men"
Parrot: "your husband, his brother & your brother"
Lady : "4 men"
Parrot: "bring the phucking bucket of water, I already told you she's a slut!"

ekeroyal: PARROT SHOP

A lady went to the store to buy a parrot and asks the sales person "What's so special about the parrot ?"
Sales person: "this parrot can talk" So the lady asks the parrot "how do I look?" The parrot replies "you look like a phucking Slut?"
The lady gets pissed off and tells the sales person that its a very rude parrot and she cannot buy it.
The sales person tells her to please wait for 2 mins.
The sales person takes the parrot to the back of the store and shoves the parrot into a bucket of water and when he pulls the parrot out he says "if you disrespect the lady out there I'll soak you in water again" and takes the parrot back outside.
The sales person asked the lady to ask the parrot another question.
Lady: "if i come home with 1 man what would you think?"
Parrot: "he's your husband"
Lady: "2 men"
Parrot "your husband and his brother"
Lady: "3 men"
Parrot: "your husband, his brother & your brother"
Lady : "4 men"
Parrot: "bring the phucking bucket of water, I already told you she's a slut!"

its not funny! i will not laff at to ur joke until u yansh me do ur resposibility! mtchew

swtchicgurl:

its not funny! i will not laff at to ur joke until u yansh me do ur resposibility! mtchew

Pls explain more to me? I thought I gave you a handful of hugs & kisses the other day. What am I to do still?

ekeroyal:



Pls explain more to me? I thought I gave you a handful of hugs & kisses the other day. What am I to do still?

i want some more

swtchicgurl:

i want some more

ok, but am not doing anything bad I hope.

Hugs switchgurl 'n' number of times (real tight), gives a 'n' number of hot kisses .

Carries her and swings her as well.

Hope you're happy.

ekeroyal:

ok, but am not doing anything bad I hope.

Hugs switchgurl 'n' number of times (real tight), gives a 'n' number of hot kisses .

Carries her and swings her as well.

Hope you're happy.

not yet, some more nicer and cuddlier, u knw

nice collection ekeroyal. Keep makin us to laugh. I stayed tuned. Me likey

swtchicgurl:

not yet, some more nicer and cuddlier, u knw

Pls we're outside for crying out loud & mcnepow & others are seeing. I don't want us to be called promiscuous. Why not you manage this first, I'll give you more later. Ok, honey?

Jojo Armani: nice collection ekeroyal. Keep makin us to laugh. I stayed tuned. Me likey

Gracias Jojo, am trying & will do more. Pls continue staying tuned. I appreciate.

WAX JOB

(A bit lengthy, but try going through, you'd like it)
An American Navy serviceman is looking around Bangkok when he comes across a $ex shop that looks really inviting. On the board outside on special offer it reads "Wax Job - $10". His curiosity takes him into the shop and there stood in front of him is the most beautiful Thai lady he has ever seen. She beckons him forward "How I help you?"

"Im here for the Wax Job" He replied.
"Ok, come in, strip off naked and lay on this bed." He does as he is told, hands over his $10 and in the half light, he lays on the towel. In walks the girl and she then puts a towel over his head. "You lay down Mr Navy man, enjoy wax job." With that she picks up a piece of wood, about three inches wide, incredibly smooth and 12 inches long and places it under his joystick. Immediately, he is aroused and hard as a rock. His body arches a little as the Thai girl sings away in her own language. "You lay down Mr Navy man, enjoy wax job."

She then takes another piece of wood exactly the same size and shape and places it on top of his erect joystick. He moans in excitement.. "You lay down Mr Navy man, enjoy wax job. Lots of Americans pay top dollar for this - very very good."

She then takes a thin piece of silk and lifts up his joystick between the smooth wood and starts to wrap this around and around the wood before tying it in a single knot. By now the serviceman is harder than hard and ready to explode and his nails are digging into the bed. "You lay down Mr Navy man, enjoy wax job. Very very good."
Another length of silk follows and his joystick is now clasped gently between the two pieces of wood and he's moaning in excitement and can barely contain himself and his balls are tighter than coiled springs. "Why you call this a wax job?", he moans. "You lay down Mr Navy man, enjoy wax job. You find out soon".

She then takes a warm bottle of beautiful smelling oil and pours this onto the wood and his throbbing joystick in between this secured by the silk ties. The oil permeates all the areas he did not believe it could and the warm fluid slides between the wood and onto his joystick. "Now Mr Navy man, I let you know why we call this wax job" and she lays the wood down on his stomach as he moans under the towel. She then reaches under the bed and gets a huge baseball bat. She looks at Mr Navy man and with that, brings the bat down hard and incredibly fast right onto the top length of wood.
And with that, the wax shot out of his ears!!!!!!!!!!!!

"There you are" she says. "Get up and go home."

STILL ON FAMILY

A man goes on a 2-months business trip to Europe and leaves his cat with his brother. Three days before his return he calls his brother.
Man: So how is my cat doing?
Brother: He's Dead
Man: He's Dead! What do you mean He's Dead! I loved that cat. Couldn't you think of a nicer way to tell me! I'm leaving in 3 days. You could have thought of a nicer way to break the news me. You could have told me today that she got out of the house or something. Then when I call before I leave you could have told me, 'Well, we found her but she is up on the roof and we're having trouble getting her down'. Then when I call you from the airport you could have told me, 'The Fire Department was there and scared her off the roof and the cat died when it hit the ground.'
Brother: I'm sorry, you're right, that was insensitive I won't let it happen again.
Man: Alright, alright, forget about it. Anyway, how is Mom doing?
Brother: She's up on the roof and we're having trouble getting her down.

MIDGETS NIGHT OUT
Two midgets won the lottery, and decided to treat two prostitutes to a fancy dinner, and then take them back to a posh hotel for the night. The midgets got rooms next to each other, and got down to business. One of the midgets soon realised that whatever he did, he couldn't get aroused. The prostitute tried pre-intimacy, role playing, but nothing seemed to get him sexually excited. Meanwhile, in the next room, the sound "One... Two... There... AAAAHHHH!" could be heard repeatedly, all through the night.

The following morning, the midgets came downstairs for breakfast, and one said to the other, "My night was horrible! No matter what she did, I just couldn't get aroused. But by the sounds of it, you had a great night."
The other midget replied, "Are you joking? Mine was worse than yours. I couldn't even get on the bed!"

Nice jokes....keep them coming,pls dnt mind the haters!
That joke abt d blacksmith is a bomb....so d apprentice hit his boss‘ head with the harmmer?Oh my GOD!!

Johnny: Nice jokes....keep them coming,pls dnt mind the haters!
That joke abt d blacksmith is a bomb....so d apprentice hit his boss‘ head with the harmmer?Oh my GOD!!

Thanks bro, I appreciate. May your days be elongated.

ekeroyal: MIDGETS NIGHT OUT
Two midgets won the lottery, and decided to treat two prostitutes to a fancy dinner, and then take them back to a posh hotel for the night. The midgets got rooms next to each other, and got down to business. One of the midgets soon realised that whatever he did, he couldn't get aroused. The prostitute tried pre-intimacy, role playing, but nothing seemed to get him sexually excited. Meanwhile, in the next room, the sound "One... Two... There... AAAAHHHH!" could be heard repeatedly, all through the night.

The following morning, the midgets came downstairs for breakfast, and one said to the other, "My night was horrible! No matter what she did, I just couldn't get aroused. But by the sounds of it, you had a great night."
The other midget replied, "Are you joking? Mine was worse than yours. I couldn't even get on the bed!"

bunmioguns:

Those lines sounds familiar to you, no doubt.

WHAT MEN WOULD DO IF THEY HAD A VAGI.NA FOR A DAY:

10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.

9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.

8. See if they could finally do the splits.

7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.

6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.

5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ...BEFORE closing time.

4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.

3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.

2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.

1. Finally find that damned center of gravity.

Two young men in UK saw a heavily pregnant woman enter and took a seat in a train. Suddenly the young men started laughing, the woman noticing she was the target simply switched to another seat but the laugh increased. Notwithstanding she moved again to another seat, then the laugh was unbearable. The woman called the Police and ensured the young men were arrested for abuse of her rights.

Now they were taken to the Police station and quizzed. They said "The first place she sat had a banner over her head "Heavy duty on board", the second place had a banner "The William's stick did the trick", the the last seat was having the banner "The Twin blades coming soon!".

At that the Police burst into laughter and let them go.

Question Tag

Teacher: Our topic for today is question tag..
Example 1- You have a bag, haven't you?

Example 2- He can't come, can he?

Now Who can make a sentence using question tag?
Johnson: we will chop yam today chopn't we?

Teacher: what?? This is terrible! Who can correct that sentence??

Mark: ma'am pls don't the yamhead!

The correct sentence is "we shall chop yam today, yamn't it?

Teacher:

The Push

Little Johnny is out walking with his dad when they see two dogs shagging on the other side of the road.

"What are they doing, Dad?" asks Johnny.

"Well, the front dog is tired and the other is pushing him all the way home so he can lie down in his basket."

Little Johnny thinks, then says, "Good thing Mum was holding onto the kitchen table yesterday, otherwise the Mechanic man would've pushed her all the way to the Mechanic shop."

ekeroyal: EXPOSED-BIN & THE 'PUNNY'

Seven wise men with knowledge so fine, created a pu**y to their design.

1. First was a butcher, with smart wit, using a knife, he gave it a slit,

2. Second was a carpenter, strong and bold, with a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole,

3. Third was a tailor, tall and thin, by using red velvet, he lined it within,

4. Fourth was a hunter, short and stout, with a piece of fox fur, he lined it without,

5. Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell, threw in a fish and gave it a smell,

6. Sixth was a preacher, whose name was McGee, he touched it and blessed it, and said it could pee,

7. Last was a BIN (yes Bin), dirty little runt, he sucked it and ph*ucked it, and called it a c*nt that's why he's always looking to harass the cute gals who make JS a joy to be in.