In as much as I understand how you feel, I think you are making this situation bother you too much. The best thing to do now is to calm down and love him the way you used to and with that you should be able to convince him to pay for an IVF for you. Never sound as though you are threatening him and please, do not make him feel he is not concerned because he already has kids because he may be concerned but he is very much bothered about how you are going about the present situation. Finally, love the 3kids and see them as yours and then you would experience perfect joy.

agiboma: @ OP you are still young and very marketable, you can meet someone else, this man is old and uncooperative not to mention unproductive in every sense of teh word. Anyhow staying with this man you better prepare yourself for a childless marriage as he does not want to go for the only solution that may produce a child, being IVF. Look deep within yourself and see if you want to continue with this man.

She just summarized my points with this post:

1. This man is old enough to be OP's father.

2. This man has three children already.

3. They have gone for tests already and the man knows he is the one that has the problem.

4. This man from the looks of it cannot afford IVF. Does he even want to? I mean he has kids already.

5. Not only is OP childless she is also sexually unsatisfied- double jeopardy.

6. The burden she carries is causing her emotional and psychological trauma. Every time she sees the man's kids she gets sick (not her fault, it is natural).

7. How long do you think she can 'keep it together' before she snaps. In her mental condition, the man's kids are not safe with her (I did not say she is mad but she is definitely disturbed).

8. It won't take much longer before she finds a lover by omission of her husband or by her own commission. Then people (including myself will call her a useless slut).

9. It is better to let her husband know these things and see what he says, if he is still in the same place after all the explanation, it is time for OP to tearfully and sadly leave that marriage and move on after about a year or so. She will need time to get a hold of herself and to weigh her options before accepting the advances of another man.

10. Surely these points are valid and are not in anyway unrealistic or naive. Everyone who is not limited by nature/finances/fate deserves a child if they want one. Of course it is sad because I do feel she loves her husband but trust me she will remain bitter for life if she does not get a child!

Guitarlife: ^^^aaargghhh so by your assertion the fact that the OP has been long complaining about her husband automatically prove's him guilty in your court of law abi?
How sure are you that the OP is not just sulking?
How could you have missed the part where she only complained about his s.exual capability (which you obviously know as a man that is no fault of his).
How unpalatable will thing's get if this coming generation is raised with the notion that marriage is a charade and the vow's are not worth nothing because if you took your time read the marriage vow's over again you wouldn't have missed this part. . . . . .'in sickness and in health' now the man is sick(yea s.exually). She has to stand by him.
And all this your 'he's worth dying for statement's'. . . . Really, they sound like the product's of another NL indoctrination cos this doesn't sound like Mac. *run's inside get's a bucket of water and pour's in on Mac, shacking him visibly* damn man it's daybreak quit sleeping.
And here's a poser for the poster and you too. What if the poster was the one who had grown terrible slab's of flesh on her body after marriage, and weighing 180kg which has now made her husband find her 's.exually unattractive'. Would you still advice her husband to divorce her and move on or maybe she was the one having challenge's with her ovaries or dealing with a fibroid(and how sure are we that she's not?) would it be appropriate in this situation to give the man a license to abandon her for a much younger lady since her condition is totally out of her control.
I see you going . . . .but this is the time she need's him most to support her.
Do you know how many men out there that struggle with infertility and all sort's and their wive's stay it out? Maybe you should make an attempt and visit a gyny. My point is that his problem is purely medical and not something he has a power over so OP should use this opportunity to know the meaning of love and marriage since it's obviuos she doesn't.
I know women these day's are trying to be seen world over but seem's like the OP is her own nemesis. It is obviuos that She is busy comparing her marriage with another's. Listen OP life does work that way o. You've got to face challenge's sometime's and it seemls you are used to running away. Another name for such a character is a quitter or rather a failure and I may not blame you much though, with the quality of advice one is reading on here this day's you are won't to reason like that.

The bolded is funny, the truth is this I get busier everyday. Hence, my advice(s) will tend to the be more direct (and militant?) because I don't have the time to 'hold people's hands' and tell them 'everything will be okay (even when it doesn't look like it). Yes my advice will get OP more militant with her husband in terms of letting him know she is dying inside and wants a positive change from him. If there is love, understanding and respect from him as a husband, he will do all in his power to make her happy. Then she will not have to leave him and my advice would have had a great effect than for me to tell her to continue to be patient until one day she can't stand it anymore and ends-up getting it from outside from opportunistic men. That will mess-up her life for good. A divorce is lightyears better than for her to be an adulterous wife.

Madam poster thEre are many reasons to leave your husband, but this isn't one of them. Unless theree is something else you are not telling. I am not an advocate of blindly sticking to a man, but my advice is, stick with him thru thick and thin. I would advice a man with this problem the same thing. Did you marry him for him, or him for children?

Daresh: Madam poster thEre are many reasons to leave your husband, but this isn't one of them. Unless theree is something else you are not telling. I am not an advocate of blindly sticking to a man, but my advice is, stick with him thru thick and thin. I would advice a man with this problem the same thing. Did you marry him for him, or him for children?

eeeeer... Yes? Be honest, if you are in her shoes, would you be willing to stick with him even when you know that he is not keeping you satisfied sexually and to make matters worse has a big problem impregnating you? It is also a well-known fact that sexual performance declines with age. So, there are many issues here O.

The very least she can do is to lay her position bare for her husband before she becomes the villain in this unfolding drama called 'her life.'

I don't get it; are people like you saying she should risk being childless or she should get it from outside? Either way, I don't see her winning with such advice especially when she is suffering emotionally and psychologically. She could die of hypertension or heartbreak of living without children of her own. Don't you get it? Her hormones will almost drive her crazy if she doesn't get help from her husband soon.