BROS, U R RIGHT ON THE MONEY

moondust:

I wonder if there's anything that women don't want men to do for them these days. . .he's supposed to clothe u, feed u, carry the baby, do the dishes, cook, and carry all the baggage, if not he doesn't love u. . .what manipulation.
yet the only thing they actually want to do for themselves is compete with men, status wise. . .good goin!

trust me some Nigeria men are so full of shit

chiogo abi wetn b ya name? Thank ya stars say u neva reach marraige level, wen u reach u go sabi SCORES!!!!

hmmmm,lazy,i dont think so.
as for me,i dont see myself going shopping with my wifey.reason?from experience

I see. . .

@ the poster there are several aspects of our Nigerian abi African culture I hate more than leprosy.
Our culture is generally unfair to the woman.
She is expected be a working Jackie in the daytime and Marilyn Monroe when the sun goes down.

Take a trip to Nigeria,a woman would be going to a market with bom boi tied to her back and she'll return carrying stuff on both hands and walking 2 miles while her "Mr Nigeria" is playing ludo with his friends,scratching himself and whistling at little girls passing by.
On her return she is expected to cook the meal,feed the kids,feed the man and keep the home,the kids and herself clean.

Then fast forward to America,the average Nigerian man is working in some dead end job or driving cab while his wife is jumping from one nursing home to another working 24 hour shifts and picking up home visits in between.
It ain't right.

There are of course hard working Nigerian men and I know several but our culture sadly leaves a woman with so much burden and when I read "things fall apart" men ought no to be loafers.
They should be getting the bigger bacons not the other way around.

The insensitivity part is cultural,a woman is expected to carry the load,she's expected to stretch herself like chewing gum without complaint.
It ought not be so.

Any woman that ends up with an insensitive man ought to teach him nicely,in a loving way,not being condescending.
Many of them are fast learners,some,however, need prayer and much fasting
I still insist that not all our men fall into this category.
Some have trained themselves to be loving and and not overburden the woman and shaken off the ugly dust of some of our culture.

nwando:

@ the poster there are several aspects of our Nigerian abi African culture I hate more than leprosy.
Our culture is generally unfair to the woman.
She is expected be a working Jackie in the daytime and Marilyn Monroe when the sun goes down.

Take a trip to Nigeria,a woman would be going to a market with bom boi tied to her back and she'll return carrying stuff on both hands and walking 2 miles while her "Mr Nigeria" is playing ludo with his friends,scratching himself and whistling at little girls passing by.
On her return she is expected to cook the meal,feed the kids,feed the man and keep the home,the kids and herself clean.

Then fast forward to America,the average Nigerian man is working in some dead end job or driving cab while his wife is jumping from one nursing home to another working 24 hour shifts and picking up home visits in between.
It ain't right.

There are of course hard working Nigerian men and I know several but our culture sadly leaves a woman with so much burden and when I read "things fall apart" men ought no to be loafers.
They should be getting the bigger bacons not the other way around.

The insensitivity part is cultural,a woman is expected to carry the load,she's expected to stretch herself like chewing gum without complaint.
It ought not be so.

Any woman that ends up with an insensitive man ought to teach him nicely,in a loving way,not being condescending.
Many of them are fast learners,some,however, need prayer and much fasting


I still insist that not all our men fall into this category.
Some have trained themselves to be loving and and not overburden the woman and shaken off the ugly dust of some of our culture.

Gosh! I just love you +osisi! True word. May joy be yours always! The thing na wah oh!

Please men, listen to the cries of your wives oh--they are dying of the "heavy load" you guys are heaping on them. Please lift the curse and free them.

Presido i know many a naija family and many naija men (through my hubby that is) I have also been down there.

Wow this is interesting I actually never thought of the impact this had on my husband. Please help me here. I cannot drive. Myhusband can drive, we both work and split the bills 50 50. I do the cooking all of the time. However becuase I cannot drive I ask him to take me to the grocery store and it ends up we have to go in together becuase our child wants it that way I do offer to go in alone but he just comes in. I notice that he has a very blank look on his face. So it is true that naija men are not supposed to be seen in supermarkets

Leilah:

So it is true that naija men are not supposed to be seen in supermarkets

Go and visit Nigeria. . .if you don't see any men there, your question will be answered ^*hisses* oh i forgot. . .you've 'been down there' - did you see the men scampering in fear at the sight of a supermarket?

This topic is overly generalizing. . .there are different types of men based on background, upbringing and societal influences. Some are lazy and insensitive. . .but so are many of the women as well. Different men act in different ways.

this so called 'cultural' thing is what I don't believe. . .in the 'olden' days wouldn't the man also be out doing back breaking work on the farm all day before he returns home? Or did they just sit down and stare at nubile young women then too?

You get the type of man you deserve - if you don't notice this 'insensitivity' before getting married, its no ones fault, thats why you should court till the initial honeymoon feeling disappears so you can see the true person.

I don't know what 'typical' represents in your neck of the woods, but in mine - both the man and woman do their tasks with zeal and dedication, each one helping out the other as needed. There is no one laying back and having fun while another does all the work.

Its like me saying 'Are Nigerian women just talkative or Just Complete blabbermouths who love recharge cards?'

Its like me saying 'Are Nigerian women just talkative or Just Complete blabbermouths who love recharge cards?'

which is kind of true. although i don't know about the whole recharge card thing.

the recharge card thing is to buy air time on GSM cell phones to pursue the talkative/blabbermouth habits

Just wait and see. . .some people may try to crucify you for saying its kind of true.

debosky:

the recharge card thing is to buy air time on GSM cell phones to pursue the talkative/blabbermouth habits

Just wait and see. . .some people may try to crucify you for saying its kind of true.

i'm ready, i'm nigerian and i'm a female and i didn't get mad at you for saying it.

Una fit each other. No problem then! Sensitive man jam sensitive woman. Allah be praised!

@nwando,
is that the sitituation u have found all the peeps u know, cos in my world its the opposite.in my world,i have been thot to provide everything that makes live comfi for my wifey and family.at least i know it aint my culture.

@leilah,
well,i thot in america,women are crazy abt the equality thing,so u shouldnt be complaining abt sharing 50-50 abi

and by the way,i avoid going to the supermarket with the female folks cos they end up asking abt everything they wanna buy and even buy it anyway even if u said it aint no good.

Very wrong 4d man 2 allow his wife go thr. such stress. Lets not return 2d days of old in Africa where d woman is compelled 2 pass thr. similar stress. Please, men should show love to their wives especially in Africa by not letting them 2 over-labour themselves, they are the weaker sex, remember! :

I just wanted an insight into this issue. Whatever about 50 50 some weeks it 75 to 50 it depends but I can say that I do all the household chores and the cooking so really it is not 50 50, when it comes to bills etc it IS 50 50, folks this is not the issue. Debosky thank you for your response it makes sense now just I was not sure how this is handled in the culture but now it is more clear - it just depends on the person.

50 50 for bills? the guy should pay all the bills anyway guys should help their women push cart, carry shopping bag, etc.

I dont see why the guy should pay all the bills. Unless the woman is a housewife or stay at home Mum.

@Nwando
Take a trip to Nigeria,a woman would be going to a market with bom boi tied to her back and she'll return carrying stuff on both hands and walking 2 miles while her "Mr Nigeria" is playing ludo with his friends,scratching himself and whistling at little girls passing by.
On her return she is expected to cook the meal,feed the kids,feed the man and keep the home,the kids and herself clean.

African woman, God bless them 

Suffering and Smiling African Woman!!!!

@ Nwando
Excellent post

@Almondjoy
Abi O! so sad. That is why some of them (African/Nigerian women) don't live long. And they also look older than their age due to sufferhead

Nwaka77:

@ Nwando
Excellent post

@Almondjoy
Abi O! so sad. That is why some of them (African/Nigerian women) don't live long. And they also[b] look older than their age due to sufferhead[/b]

Have you seen the way most Nigerian women look in parties over here beside their husbands? You will wonder if they are wives to the men or mothers of the men.  Most of them look so tired and so beat down--with some serious stress pimples on the face and chest. Only the ones that have at least a 20 year gap between them and you can tell who is older.  I say it is terrible.


The ones in Nigeria?  Forget those.  Spend too much time keeping vigil--cannot even comb their hair out straight.

Me too, i had the same opinion w Chiogo who is the one created this topic, before, i was surprised when a Nigerian men let their gf to carry bag when all they can do is just walking with nothing on their hands, but now I get acquainted w all that maybe everywhere in this world has their own culture and we have to accept that

According to the bible, aren't women supposed to be the helpers? 

Ok, Chiogo, I can understand the viewpoint you raised. However, you were a bit tad of the mark with the title of the topic. Rather than generalising, you should have couched your words in this manner: "Are some Nigerian Men Lazy or just completely insensitive?" Now, we know it is strictly not true to say that all Nigerian men are like that. In fact, some men who are generally insensitive can be seen as hardworking and vice versa. Laziness and insensitive are two relative terms not even attributed to Nigerians alone.

Having said that, there may be a number of reasons why the man in question was not carrying the shopping. Let me spice up some "tongue in cheek" statements here.

- The man may have just had an operation
- The man may be fasting
- The man may have just eaten and one lifting of any heavy object, and the contents of his pot belly
  will erupt resulting in serious loud farting (the bombshell type)
- It may be against the man's culture for him to carry goods while his wife is tagging along
- The man may be wearing agbada which is not conducive for carrying anything heavy
- Ekaete, the dutiful wife, does not want her darling "Orbi" to carry anything.

On a serious note, it is really important for a man to play a helpful role in every capacity, including being with their partner/wife when she is about to give birth. Now that is a real man.
It's not all about spending money. It's about being there for youe spouse. You are doing it for her, and not because someone is watching you or maybe you'll be ashamed of what they might say or think. Who cares? If a man is successful in business and to the outside world and can not hold or sustain his home, that man is a failure. Period.

they have cell phone. . . hand to ear. time for the woman to carry stuffs, time for the oga agba to do that calling

azn_shorty:

Me too, i had the same opinion w Chiogo who is the one created this topic, before, i was surprised when a Nigerian men let their girlfriend to carry bag when all they can do is just walking with nothing on their hands, but now I get acquainted w all that maybe everywhere in this world has their own culture and we have to accept that

hahahaha almondjoy even those fancy lace and satellite headties won't cover up the stress . African woman Kudos to you. You be tough breed

almondjoy:

Have you seen the way most Nigerian women look in parties over here beside their husbands? You will wonder if they are wives to the men or mothers of the men. Most of them look so tired and so beat down--with some serious stress pimples on the face and chest. Only the ones that have at least a 20 year gap between them and you can tell who is older. I say it is terrible.


The ones on Nigeria? Forget those. Spend too much time keeping vigil--cannot even comb their hair out straight.

almondjoy:

Have you seen the way most Nigerian women look in parties over here beside their husbands? You will wonder if they are wives to the men or mothers of the men. Most of them look so tired and so beat down--with some serious stress pimples on the face and chest. Only the ones that have at least a 20 year gap between them and you can tell who is older. I say it is terrible.


The ones on Nigeria? Forget those. Spend too much time keeping vigil--cannot even comb their hair out straight.

Take off the wig and heavy duty pancake on her face and you'll them see the real Al Gore

seabiotics:

According to the bible, aren't women supposed to be the helpers?

Ok, Chiogo, I can understand the viewpoint you raised. However, you were a bit tad of the mark with the title of the topic. Rather than generalising, you should have couched your words in this manner: "Are some Nigerian Men Lazy or just completely insensitive?" Now, we know it is strictly not true to say that all Nigerian men are like that. In fact, some men who are generally insensitive can be seen as hardworking and vice versa. Laziness and insensitive are two relative terms not even attributed to Nigerians alone.

Having said that, there may be a number of reasons why the man in question was not carrying the shopping. Let me spice up some "tongue in cheek" statements here.

- The man may have just had an operation
- The man may be fasting
- The man may have just eaten and one lifting of any heavy object, and the contents of his pot belly
will erupt resulting in serious loud farting (the bombshell type)
- It may be against the man's culture for him to carry goods while his wife is tagging along
- The man may be wearing agbada which is not conducive for carrying anything heavy
- Ekaete, the dutiful wife, does not want her darling "Orbi" to carry anything.

On a serious note, it is really important for a man to play a helpful role in every capacity, including being with their partner/wife when she is about to give birth. Now that is a real man.
It's not all about spending money. It's about being there for youe spouse. You are doing it for her, and not because someone is watching you or maybe you'll be ashamed of what they might say or think. Who cares? If a man is successful in business and to the outside world and can not hold or sustain his home, that man is a failure. Period.

Thank God those were "tongue in cheek"
They can't all be recovering from scrotal hernial operation at the same time

@nwando,
is that the sitituation u have found all the peeps u know, because in my world its the opposite.in my world,i have been thot to provide everything that makes live comfi for my wifey and family.at least i know it aint my culture.

@ seun001
My brother,I'm thoroughly ashamed of a number of our men outside of Nigeria.
I don't know if someone did them juju,you even see some who held respectable positions back home,move here and turn into total bums in America and leave their wives to carry the family,working herself to death.
I hate to bash men (I'm a lover of a man )
but some really need a hot slap to wake 'em up.

I have a friend,a nurse,whose husband[b] will not work[/b],a man who had a good job in Naija.
They have tried opening a store,he has tried driving cab,he has tried driving trucks,but will come up with some story and quit and he is not alone.He's been at home full time now for 3 years plus.
There are many like him,sitting at home,eating kpof kpof and watching "Jerry Springer"
That is wrong.

omoge:


Take a trip to Nigeria,a woman would be going to a market with bom boi tied to her back and she'll return carrying stuff on both hands and walking 2 miles while her "Mr Nigeria" is playing ludo with his friends,scratching himself and whistling at little girls passing by.
On her return she is expected to cook the meal,feed the kids,feed the man and keep the home,the kids and herself clean.

African woman, God bless them

LMAO @ bom boi

haven't heared that in ages

nwando:

@ seun001
My brother,I'm thoroughly ashamed of a number of our men outside of Nigeria.
I don't know if someone did them juju,you even see some who held respectable positions back home,move here and turn into total bums in America and leave their wives to carry the family,working herself to death.
I hate to bash men (I'm a lover of a man )
but some really need a hot slap to wake 'em up.

I have a friend,a nurse,whose husband[b] will not work[/b],a man who had a good job in Naija.
They have tried opening a store,he has tried driving cab,he has tried driving trucks,but will come up with some story and quit and he is not alone.He's been at home full time now for 3 years plus.
There are many like him,sitting at home,eating kpof kpof and watching "Jerry Springer"
That is wrong.

eyaa oh!! that must be so hard for her. am sure there is something she can do now . like AA, kick him out
who dey fry that puff puff for him sef?

i ve bin going tru this thread and laffin. kpof kpof, jerry springer hahaha
this thing swings both ways, see some guys just plain think a wife is a slave, but some are willing, really willing to help out but most times women abuse this. they tend to start disrespecting the guy.