Analytical: @Gaggi, give it up! What if the OP registered using another name but is actually not new to NL? The Jenny we know is not given to pretence. It seems you like her so much @

Analytical: @Gaggi, give it up! What if the OP registered using another name but is actually not new to NL? The Jenny we know is not given to pretence. It seems you like her so much

shushu: gaggi its ok,
[b]i also communicated with sub zidi and the number worked.
[/b]The importasnt thing is she has been advised well.sometimes it isnt easy to discuss issues with friends or family and anonymous persons tend to tell you the blunt truth rather than sweet coat it

shushu: gaggi its ok,
i also communicated with sub zidi and the number worked.
The importasnt thing is she has been advised well.sometimes it isnt easy to discuss issues with friends or family and anonymous persons tend to tell you the blunt truth rather than sweet coat it

jennykadry: You both are keeping malice which is not good at all for this marriage at least not at this stage. You both seem to be full of pride, One of yous need to step down and let the other person take charge(without pride). . . . I cannot imagine that one of yous is away from the other person and no one has bothered to communicate?

I have to disagree with cotton101 here, there is a big issue going on here. You sound like an emotional person to me and because of that you guard your emotions and your heart so jealously that you do not want any arrow of hurt to strike through. I cannot imagine leaving lag to PH and not even seeing my husband let alone, him taking me to the airport, or we both not communicating because we have some hanging issues.

Before the downfall of a man comes pride and that "man" in that sentence could be male or female. You both obviously are not ready for marriage

Please I beg you both, LET GO OF PRIDE FOR IT WILL LEAD YOUS TO DESTRUCTION. You both have allowed the devil into your marriage, it is time the both of you threw him out and shut the door.

tasandra: Gurl,i will tell u my hubby,s worse than urs..in this malice thin but i knw hw to handle him :Pall men are disame...luv and cherish him,like u av always been doin..i luv that 1st move u made...it will make him knw hw wonderful u are 4 a wife.God bless ur home..enjoy it gurl

jennykadry:

Don't mind him. Dude and richy are so in love with me that they chase me from one post to the other . The poor girl refused toThe d post with her normal ID cos she's got her pics there, bless her for even thinking str8 amidst tears

They know me naaa, I no dey fear to open mouth to them. Even Mukina sef is tired of me, if not she for don ban me since this year

Mmuo Okija: How is your sex life?!

If you guys are not going at it atleast 5 times a week, then thats the beginning of your problem. You need to start watching p'orn to learn some new mind blowing techniques that would leave hiom so exhausted he would go right to sleep without eating.

Secondly, why you never carry belle after one year?! Abi you never tire for honeymoon?!

Thirdly, have you started tying wrapper and walking around the house in hairnet and pyjamas?! This can also creat friction in marriage. .

Also, learn how to be a mother to him and start massaging his ego. . Stop taking offence at everything he does. . we men are babies and very few women know how to handle us.. . I suggest you get a book about it.

sub_zidi: Hi NLanders, i would like to get opinion plus advice from people who are already experienced in marriage! My story is a long one but i woukld like ti make it as brief and straight to the point as possible. Intro: My hubby and I dated for about a year before we decided to tie the knot. During courtship/dating, i thought/felt he was one of the best things that happened to me probablly still is...We more like built/building our life together from the scratch. Initially things were not easy for him financially when we were still dating+courting but i did'nt mind cos i felt i had a good man ,who was self motivated,intelligent, smart,purposefully driven and above all loved God! Then we made out time to pray together and commune with God while committing his situation then to God for open doors as he was affected by the crisis in the bank.
While all these were going on, i never made material demands from him instead i supported a 150% financially and otherwise while according him much respect as my MAN and the King of My Heart. Then Jan 2011, God did it and he got another job he was managing, though he felt then the job was too demanding/demeaning and pay not commensurate with his output, i was still encouraging him to hang in there as i knew with little time management would recognize his efforts/hardwork and possibly make him a better offer! And indeed it happened just two months to our wedding, his job was reviewed+promotion+better package! Life was good!
Before the marriage, my hubby adored, respected and treated me like his queen. But i noticed since after marriage he has been taking me for granted,stopped asking if i was okay once my mood changes which he was doing before,stopped thanking me after eating,usually getting easily irritated at the things we used to joke and laugh about in the past.I remember back in the courtship days, if i did anything he did'nt like he would say stuff like" i will slap your brain now" and usually i just apologise and we make up easily! But these days, whenever there is liitle misunderstanding it lingers atimes into days before we make up.
Last week thursday, we both got home from work and were relaxing/catching up with gist on the days activities etc suddenly my hubby shouts " where is my food" i hurried up from where i was sitting and said haba! take it easy now shebi we just got back and i'm still tired! Then i made a joke to him and went off to the kitchen to get his food. Afterwards, he went to the bedroom while giving me cold shoulders,i ignored him feeling maybe he had a rough day at work and needed his space.Then the following morning, i got ready before him for work and went to wait for him in the car, he later joined but did'nt talk to me all through untill we got to our various offices.Unlike him, he never bothered to call/ping or bbm thru out the day.We got home that evening i was trying to figure out what i did wrong, i knelt down in front of him asking what i did wrong while also trying to play with him and make light of the previous day's event of me getting ready before him and waiting in the car. all attempts to get him talk were rebuffed, well felt ignored and decided to leave him be so that whenever he felt like talking we woould then address whatever it was. 3 days passed no communication, on the 4th day i sent him a letter communicating how strange his attitude+including the shouting about food was! Almost immediately he called me and started laughing and making light of the drama. That evening when we got home, we had a discussion where i addressed the shouting about food + his cold shoulder and we made up.
Most recently, precisely last sunday; we were very happy like normal couples and did'nt even go to church cos we wanted to spend more time in bed. That afternoon, we were running the generator and suddenly light went off, he went to check and discovered the connecting cable was off!My instinct told me to check what was up with him outside with the generator and i saw him trying to plug back the cable to the generator while it was still on, i said to him he it was dangerous to do so and should put it off first then plug the cable. While this was going on, i then suggested we put on the big gen since the small one with cable issue was still hot, immediately he shouted at me" get out now before i SLAP you!" I ran into the house then all of a sudden it rang in my head that" did hubby just say he would SLAP me?" i left the kichen where i was cooking and came to the parlour to meet him and i said (called him his pet name) "did u just say u would slap me,[/b]what did i do? etc Then i said in outburst"you've been using this ur SLAP cliche very often and anyday the devil makes u try [b]it would be the end of this marriage cos my dad neva slapped me nor threatened to, he neva slapped my mom, i've never been slapped before and one thing i cannot tolerate is violence!"
The following morning being monday, he left the house while i was still sleeping leaving the doors open and did'nt tell me where he was going. I got up 30mins later(5:30am and discovered he was not at home and did not drop a note on where he has gone to. I got ready for work locked the house and dropped the key under the footmat where he could easily see it. while i was leaving, i saw his missed calls but was very angry to take his calls, then as i was working out of the gate i saw him parked by the side and i did not talk to him and was going to work on my own. [/b]I aws just a block away [b]when i noticed someone push my umbrella and was asking me where i was going and the house key! I turned and scolled at him that i dropped the key on the carpet and was rushing to work as i had 8'oclock meeting.He ordered me to turn back which i did, then drove together to drop me first as he sacked the driver over the weekend!
Monday evening, i got back late ((9:30pm) due to several urgent reports+urgent work issues i needed to resolve.With the tirednes, i went to ask him what to prepare for his dinner but i got no response and i decided to go to bed and leave him be. Then, following morning i woke up early and made his fav bfast and asked to come and eat as i usually give him bfast Mon-Fri but he refused. I went to lock the door and asked him to come and eat he refused! Then he started telling me that he no longer wanted to be married to " a madwoman who would embarrass him in public" I said how did i embarrass u? u were the one who has been giving attitude since sunday, left me in bed while leaving the doors open knowing the security challenge we face in the compound ,that how does that make me a madwoman or u ordered me to join u home without expecting any show of anger from me? He said he would call my father to tell him i was disgracing hime then we would know what next to do with the marriage!!! i also made it known to him that he has not addressed the main issue of SLAP threats and i was not ready to stay in a violent marriage and so be it if becos i was looking out for his safety and that has suddenly turned me into a madwoman! i refused to go to work with him cos i was hurting+was travelling out of Lag to work 2days.
i ve been feeling bad for him and myself cos we have a great rship and chemistry which he is letting unneccessary anger to destroy! i've advised him to go for anger mgt classes. Unfortunately he feels he knows much about marriage thta even during our pre-marital classes he never read any of the books recommended!
I know he is a good man but this anger issue+SLAP threats ! Right now we are not talking, i want to nip it in the bud that violence of any kind is not allowed before it blossoms, if i apologise he would think he was right, i'm at cross-roads, i'm really hurting that i nevr even noticed anybit of this during courtship atimes i wonder if he was same person...SORRY for the long post just wanted to pour out my feelings

Richvkunt:

Can you please keep my user name out of your biz.
If you like register as many false ids as please you,so that you can open a thread where you go back and forth with yourself in order to launder your bad image-None of my business.
Two people can not be caught in the deception of a lie-Either the person telling the lie will know it is a lie or the person it is being told to will know it is a lie.
What ever rocks your boat,dear.

sub_zidi: @ Jenny: Update: I called him and we had 1hr discussion over the phone about the incident and we have both trashed things out.His anger was that he was calling me to get back home and i was talking back and saying in hash tone +public" leave me alone to go to work i have meeting" i apologised profusely and told him i had written an attestation letter that no matter how angry i am that i would never show any form of emotional outburst in the public,i'd sign it and put a date! He bursted out and started laughing! i also mentioned the verbal aggression bit of saying i will SLAP u, and his response was that it was a way of telling him that he's pissed and i said we would include it in the attestation that bioth of us would sign. at that point, i broke down again and started crying, i reminded him we both made decision to get married, hence he should not involve my dad as he threatened.And as u advised Jenny, i also made him understand that is left to both of to build this our beautiful r/ship and a spark of bitterness by d devil to destroy it! Alas he sobered and apologised too and promised me he would find another expression/code only too of us understand to use whenever he's angry with me!
@Ify: I never said it in that way, it was rather more of concern and sofly said but he misinterpreted it as ITK i know what i'm doing, meanwhile he was shooking d thing back inside ooo before my comment Yea he is the Lord of the manor i've decided to lay very low and let him have his way ,then win him back and jejeyly mould him like u said
@ CC/Analytical thanks for your contribution, i've called and we've made up, going fowardi would never let the sun go down on my anger again NEVER!
@ALL: For those crucifying JK on nairaland, it would shock you to know she's such an ANGEL! [/b]she's very much instrumental to the speedy reconciliation as she called me and we spoke for almost 30mins over the phone while she was advising me and it worked! Take time to understand her perspectives most times before u judge her! I love you sister and many thanks for being ther for me! please i'm still expecting your sms.
Godbless you all and may he always enrich us with his wisdom on this marital journey as the devil is seriously at work these last days to destroy marriages! Thanks y'all once again